“With that settled”—Ransom clapped his hands together—“why didn’t we know you could sing?”
“I knew,” Cross answered.
“Why didn’t the rest of us?” Ransom turned on Cross.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked, confused as hell as to where that question had come from.
“Oh… ” Ransom got a cheesy grin on his face. “There’s a video making its way around of you performing a couple of acoustic songs at some place called Lukewarm.”
I snorted. Of course there was. Should’ve known someone would have recorded it.
“Ah… well… it was impromptu,” I said.
“I bet,” Dixon said with a laugh. “But really, you’ll be here tonight?”
“Yeah. You’ll have rhythm again.”
“I resent that,” Cross interjected, to which I laughed. He kept the beat. I brought the rhythm.
“You’re getting laid,” Dixon said out of nowhere.
“What?” I asked.
“That’s why you haven’t been back and I saw the look on your face in that video,” he explained. “You’re getting laid. But you can get laid here.”
“It’s not the same,” I said without thinking about it. I hadn’t had any intention of confirming what he’d said. I’d never live it down.
“Fuck,” he huffed out. “Bring her with you. Whatever. Just get here.”
“Yeah. Yeah.”
As soon as I could, I ended the chat and thought about what I’d just agreed to. I’d rented a car to make the drive up here but figured Lawson would arrange for it to be returned without me having to do it. No idea how he made those things happen, but he did. I didn’t have time to make the two-hour drive to Saginaw to return it which meant he’d have to figure out how to get it from our local airport to the nearest branch.
Now I just had to tell Paige I was leaving to meet the band in Boston in a matter of hours.
Chapter Fourteen
Paige
When I woke up without Booker beside me I couldn’t even be mad. I’d told him to stay and leave early and I wasn’t mad. Disappointed was the better word, not over the fact that he left. He’d needed to and I knew ahead of time. But disappointed that he wasn’t there. I’d had that one perfect night with him and unfortunately that was going to have to be good enough.
After a quick shower, I headed for the kitchen because it’d been far too long since I’d last eaten and my stomach was already protesting. I didn’t expect to find Marina already at the table when I got there. She normally slept in later on Sunday mornings.
“How are you doing this morning?” I asked her.
“Feeling pretty well,” she answered with her now droopy smile. It was beautiful but also gave me the chance to evaluate some of her progress and it was coming along nicely. I’d seen pictures of what her smile used to look like and it hadn’t been droopy at all. But it also wasn’t as significant as it had been when I first arrived.
“Good. Want some breakfast?”
“You don’t have to cook for me. It’s your day off anyway.”
I looked over at her with my face all pinched together. “Marina, I’m making something for myself. It’s not a big deal to toss in a couple of more eggs and extra toast.”
“OK, then.” She finally gave in, but I knew Marina hated having to be cared for. She’d been quite active before that stroke, but I had no doubt she’d be active once she recovered more.
Breakfast wasn’t anything fancy. I wasn’t that kind of cook. I’d learned enough to keep myself alive and had never eaten such delicious food as I had since I’d come to work for the Coyotes. Having a personal chef was a perk I could get used to.
I set her plate in front of her and poured her a glass of orange juice, then sat down across from her. We ate in silence at first, but that never lasted with us.
“Why did you decide to take this job?” she asked.
“Joe made me an offer I couldn’t refuse,” I said honestly. I wasn’t going to lie about it.
“So it was all about the money.”
“Of course.” I looked up at her. “At first it was. Isn’t that how everyone decides on a job? Salary and perks?”
“And whether they’d like to do the job,” she added.
“But I already knew that I love this work. Love helping people who need it.” I shrugged. “But then I got here and honestly, you’ve ruined me for any future jobs.”
“Future jobs?” she asked.
“Well, yeah. Marina, eventually you aren’t going to need someone fulltime.” I took a bite of eggs, then added, “It’s a good thing.”
“I suppose. Plus, you’re too young and beautiful to waste your life taking care of me.”
I smiled over at her at the compliment, but I sure as hell didn’t feel like I was wasting my life. I thought I was making a difference. So I said as much.
“Of course you’re making a difference, Paige.” She reached across the table and patted my hand. “I just meant, don’t you want a husband? A family? You can’t really have that if you’re bouncing from house to house.”
“This is the first live-in position I’ve had,” I told her. “I don’t know that this kind of job is what I’ll ever take again. It just depends.”
“What about the other stuff?”
Instead of answering, I took a few more bites, then cleared the whole area. Marina had finished eating as well. She waited patiently for me to think about my answer.
“I haven’t thought about it,” I finally said, then I joined her back at the table. “A family.” I shook my head. “I can’t imagine what having a permanent one would be like. I have Barret but never anyone else who stuck around.”
“Oh, honey,” she said. I hated the sound of pity in her voice, but she couldn’t help it. “You’re part of our family. When I don’t need you as a nurse anymore, I still expect to hear from you. You’re like the sister Booker never had.”
I visibly cringed. “Please don’t say that.”
Marina chuckled quietly in a way that made me think she suspected something had happened between him and me. “Sorry.” She adjusted herself in her seat, as if to get more comfortable. “Paige, men are strange creatures.”
“They sure are.”
“Have you seen my son this morning?” she asked. I shook my head.
I wasn’t sure what Booker had told his mother, so I didn’t say anything about where he was. Plus, that video call had been a while ago. He really should’ve been back by now.
“I think he’s going to be leaving soon,” she said, watching me with a careful eye.
I couldn’t give anything away. “Yeah?”
“Going back on tour.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I didn’t.
Marina took a drink of her water. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Go ahead.” I took a breath.
“What do you want?”
“What’d you mean?”
“Out of life. What do you want?” she asked again.
That I could answer in my sleep. “Enough money in the bank to feel like I don’t have to worry.”
“And how much is that?”
“I don’t know.” There wasn’t an amount I’d settled on. But I would work five jobs to make sure I was never reliant on anyone else if I had to. Somehow I’d gotten the idea that I’d know when my bank account hit that magic number. I’d just feel it.
“If you ever need anything, Paige—”
“I’d never take money from you,” I said. She raised her brows, so I rolled my eyes. “I mean outside of a job,” I added.
“Well, know the offer is there.”
The front door opened then closed and heavy footsteps thumped across the entryway. Booker stepped into the kitchen and didn’t stop until he got to the fridge. It was hard to keep from tacking him with eyes. Seeing him for the first time since last night had butterflies flapping away in my stomach. Not nerves, more excitement.
“Morning,” he said in a clipped tone. He didn’t even spare me a glance.
Well, yikes. That was weird.
“What are you two doing in here?” he asked.
“We had breakfast together,” his mother answered. “You should’ve joined us.”
He shifted from one foot to the other and turned the water bottle in his hand upside down, then right-side up again. These were nervous things a person did when they were uncomfortable. Why would he be uncomfortable? After last night, he should’ve been extremely comfortable with me. Well, hell, that diminished some of the previous excitement I’d had.
“Yeah,” I added then tried to keep from laughing before I said, “Your mom told me I’m the sister you never had.”
Booker stopped moving and shivered, his lips curled back in disgust. I almost couldn’t hold the laughter in.
“Mom,” he said, shaking his head. “Please don’t ever say that again. Ever.”
“That’s basically what she said,” Marina told him as she pointed at me.
I liked that his reaction matched mine. At least he acknowledged that there was something between us, even if it was in passing.
Marina and I continued talking while Booker stood nearby not saying a word. At some point he just left. I thought he’d at least want to talk when he got back inside or acknowledge… I don’t know… something. But no. He stood there, then walked away.
I wanted to ask so many questions. Did he regret having sex last night? I didn’t think so, not to mention he’d probably hooked up with a hundred women over the course of his years on the road. It was a one-time thing or rather it could’ve been if that was what he wanted. I just needed him to tell me.
Even if I had to make him.
Chapter Fifteen
Booker
I should’ve talked to Paige right away, told her I was leaving, tried to figure out where we were and how we’d handle me being gone. But she’d been with my mom. If I brought any of that up in front of my mother, she’d have too many questions for me. Questions I either wouldn’t want to answer or wouldn’t be able to answer. I also shouldn’t be having that kind of conversation with Paige in front of my mother. Especially after Mom had called her the sister I’d never had. So gross.
Paige could’ve been thinking anything. That I regretted last night. That it was a one-time thing. Or any of the other things going through my head. I needed to talk to her, but I had to bide my time to get her alone. Time I didn’t have.
I pulled my bag from the closet. If I was going to wallow all day, I may as well pack while I did it. But fuck, I’d rather be spending my time with her.
Someone knocked on the door and I called out for them to come in. The door opened and closed behind me, but when no one said anything, I knew it was Paige. When I glanced over my shoulder to confirm, she was still hovering near the door with her arms crossed under her breasts. She looked beautiful. Pissed, but beautiful. And she hadn’t put her hair up. Damn, I loved that.
“Packing?” she asked, pointing to the bag that sat empty on my bed. I nodded. “Were you going to say anything?”
“Of course.” I crossed the room until I was standing so close I could touch her. “First, good morning.” Then I leaned in, cupped her face, and kissed her the way I would’ve this morning had I been there when she’d woken up. Slowly, making sure she knew exactly how I felt about being with her last night.
“Don’t distract me,” she said softly once I pulled back.
“My greatest joy would be to distract you right now.”
She giggled. “Booker, I’m irritated and if you keep kissing me, that will go away.”
I smirked and cocked my head to the side. “Is that supposed to deter me?”
Paige snorted then playfully punched my stomach. I in turn acted like it hurt when she hadn’t put any effort behind it. “Come on. We need to talk.”
I sighed. “Yeah. We do.” Then I stepped back so she could come farther into the room, but she began to pace instead of taking a seat, which was probably better anyway. “You first.” It was the shitty way out, but I really wanted to know where she stood first.
“Coward.”
I snorted because she wasn’t wrong.
“OK,” she said with a sigh then swallowed hard and finally stopped pacing to face me. “I guess… first… I’m wondering if you… ” She rolled her eyes. “Regret last night. Like it was a mistake or something.”
Fuck, that was a punch to the gut and what I’d been afraid of her thinking. I shook my head, pulled her close to me, and pressed my lips against hers. Then I tightened my arm around her waist and lifted her off her feet, one hand on the back of her head holding her to me, still tasting her, until we were both breathless.
“No, Paige. No.” I set her back on her feet. She swayed, so I held on until she found her balance. “Did I really make you think I felt that way?” I asked.
She brushed her fingers over her bottom lip as if savoring that kiss. “No. I don’t think you did. I think that was my fear.”
“Come here.” I folded her hand into mine and led her to the bed, where we sat. At least it was a little more comfortable. “I’m sorry I had to slip out so early this morning.”
“I don’t care about that. I mean, yeah, I would’ve preferred you still be there when I woke up, but I knew you had a band thing.”
“Then why?”
“I didn’t hear from you. You were gone for a long time. No text. Then you came back and in the kitchen you were so weird. Like you didn’t even say hello. And now I’m sounding like a whiny, clingy girlfriend when I am none of those things.”
“None?”
“Whiny, clingy, or your girlfriend.” She ticked each off on a new finger.
Punch to the gut number two. Damn, this woman could kill me with her words. Bringing me to my knees was her super power. In some ways, like last night, she brought me to my knees in a way that I’d beg for if she wanted me to. But now… Yeah, this was cutting me down to size at a point when I knew that’s not what she intended. She spoke her truth and nothing more.
“Let’s take this one thing at a time.” I folded one leg underneath me so I could turn to face her. “I should’ve at least messaged you. That’s my bad. I’m sorry. But the kitchen?” I pointed in the direction of the room in question. “What was I supposed to do? My mom was there. I had no idea if you’d be comfortable with me kissing you in front of her.”
She cocked her head to the side like she was thinking of what she wanted to say, then she nodded. “Yeah. That’s true. I work for your parents. That would’ve been weird.”
“I think what we need to do is stop guessing what the other thinks or feels and just talk about it.”
She nodded again. “I agree with that.” When her tongue snuck out to wet her bottom lip again, I copied the action. “Especially since it looks like you’re leaving.”
“Uh… ” I wasn’t exactly sure what to say.
“It’s OK, Booker. I get it. You have to go.” She slid off the bed and paced again. Back and forth, possibly carving a path in the carpet. I stood and waited until she paced back closer to me so I could grab her by the arm.
“Let me tell you what happened today,” I said. “Please let me explain.”
Paige sighed and nodded. “Go ahead.”
I took half a step back to watch her as I spoke; however, I lowered my hand to hold hers so we didn’t totally break contact. “I had the call with the guys today.”
“Right.”
“They officially asked me to be a permanent member of Courting Chaos.”
A smile exploded across her face and she flung herself into my arms, probably squeezing around my neck as hard as she could, yet it wasn’t all that tight.
“That’s amazing,” she said, dropping a big, wet kiss on my cheek. “It’s what you wanted, right?” She pulled back and while on the one hand I didn’t want any distance between us, I knew there was more of the story to tell.
“Yeah. It’s what I wanted. But there’s a hitch.”
“There always is.”
“I have to meet them for the show. Tonight.”
The room stilled, and though Paige didn’t let the happiness leave her face, there was something sadder around her eyes. I’d gotten pretty good at reading her. She was happy for me but sad that I was leaving and that shouldn’t have made me feel as good as it did.
“Tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“That kind of sucks.”
“Yeah, it kind of does.”
Paige and I had gotten close since I’d been home. I assumed she felt the same amount of anxiety I had at the idea of the long-distance relationship thing. That we’d grow apart more easily because we hadn’t known each other long. I didn’t think any of that would happen, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t worried a little or that she wasn’t.
I’d heard about people falling for each other quickly but never thought it would happen to me. But I was falling for Paige hook, line, and sinker which came with a strong determination to make long-distance work.
If Paige was in, I was in.
Chapter Sixteen
Paige
While I’d always known Booker would leave eventually, I’d never intended to put my heart on the line before he did. I never put my heart on the line. Even when I’d had a boyfriend, which had been rare, I kept them at arm’s length, protecting myself from being hurt. I didn’t fall in love and didn’t think I was all the way there yet with him. The difference with Booker was that I thought I could eventually. The option was there. He had masterfully drawing me in and I’d been hoping that we’d have a tiny bit more time together.
What I felt when he told me he was leaving made me realize just how much I’d opened up to him. It might not have been much to other people, but this was the most I’d allowed someone in, other than Barrett and Ben, in my entire life.
“Well, if you have to go, you have to go,” I finally said. There wasn’t any other option. “You’re probably used to flying out at the last minute. Oh, wait, when do you leave? Do you have to drive to Detroit?” I rambled and would’ve kept going if I hadn’t reined myself in.
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