“Well… ” She twirled a lock of red curls around her finger as if she honestly had to think about her answer. “Definitely hit the walls makes more sense, but I’m wondering why you asked these guys to lick your balls.”
We erupted in a loud chorus of laughter. That was a wonderful characteristic that both Bellamy and Indie had. They didn’t mind giving their boyfriends shit along with the rest of us.
“I was talking to you, baby,” Ransom said back.
Bellamy snorted in response then said, “Oh, you were definitely talking to these guys.”
“Now you’ve made it dirty,” Ransom said, shaking his head.
Bellamy scoffed. “Because lick my balls wasn’t already dirty?”
“Ding, ding, ding,” Dixon said, his voice echoing into the mic. “We have a winner.”
“Are we done?” Cross asked the sound guys. The one in the middle gave a thumbs-up, which meant we could go. Settings were in and they’d make sure we sounded good. There wasn’t anything else for us to do.
It’d be nice if I could get back to the dressing room to grab my phone and quickly call Paige before we were tied up for hours, probably until we had to get ready for the show. Unfortunately, as soon as we got through the backstage door, Lawson met us. That was never a good thing.
“We have a room set up for the interviews, so grab a drink and let’s get moving,” he said.
“Do I have time to make a call?” I asked.
“The first reporter is already in there waiting.”
I rolled my eyes. This was going to take hours. I really needed to start bringing my phone on stage with me. I’d gotten in the habit of leaving it behind a long time ago and it was a hard one to break. Though if it fell out of my pocket Ransom could slip and break his neck. Him specifically because he was the one that moved around the most.
“When are we going to meet Paige?” Indie asked as we made it down the hallway, following Lawson to whatever room he’d set up. The girls would disappear sometime before we had to go in.
I knew it’d been a mistake to mention her to any of them. If Cross and Ransom knew something, it was a sure bet Indie and Bellamy did, too.
“Yeah, I want to meet Paige,” Bellamy agreed from underneath Ransom’s arm.
“What happened to the bro code?” I asked, glancing from Cross to Ransom. I’d mentioned her to the guys but said nothing to the girls. And it was only once. Twice to Cross.
Ransom shrugged. “They let us have sex with them. Separately.” He looked around and added, “That sounded really weird. You know what I meant.”
Our little group erupted in laughter again.
“But seriously,” Indie continued. “When’s she coming on tour?”
“No idea. Don’t know that she is,” I said because I didn’t. We hadn’t talked about it; plus, she had a job. Actually, we hadn’t talked about anything lately because we kept missing each other.
“Why not?” Bellamy asked.
“She has a job.” It sounded lame to even my ears.
Indie gave me a look I didn’t understand, then slipped out from under Cross’ arm. She slid in next to me. “Walk a little slower.”
I did as she’d asked. Well, not really asked. More like demanded.
“What’s up?” I asked once the rest of them got a few steps ahead of us.
“OK, this is me totally stepping in where my nose doesn’t belong, so you can tell me to shut up. I won’t even mind.” Indie took a big breath. “You should get Paige to come on tour at least for a little while. Like a couple of weeks for vacation.”
“I’m pretty sure she’s never taken a vacation.”
Indie looked up at me with wide eyes. She didn’t have to ask the question she was wondering.
“She grew up in foster care,” I said but needed to give her a little bit more without telling a story that wasn’t mine to tell. “From what she said, some homes were better than others but none had an overabundance of money.”
“So none of those feel good, rags-to-riches, Daddy Warbucks moments?”
I chucked but said, “Definitely not.”
She blinked four times before speaking again. “All the more reason. But I’ve seen people do the long-distance thing my whole life and if you go too long without seeing each other, people tend to grow apart. Fly there for a day. Bring her here. But if you want this to work out, you’ll have to make an effort. And yes, you have to make the effort. You’re the one who will have to make the effort because you’re the one who’s going to make things difficult by nature of your job.”
“Is that it?” I asked, trying not to laugh.
“Yes.” She grinned up at me. “That’s all my wisdom on the subject,” she said. “Other than don’t be a dick and answer her calls. I hate it when Cross doesn’t answer, even though I know he can’t sometimes. It still irritates me.”
“Why do you hate it?” I asked her as we got to the room Lawson had set up for us. Cross lingered nearby, obviously waiting for me to be done with his girlfriend.
Indie sighed, then glanced over at Cross and smiled. “I’m a confident person,” she said.
“One of the most confident I know,” I added. It was true. Not a lot fazed the woman.
“But there’s a certain amount of insecurity that naturally comes with this situation. I don’t ever have doubts.” She glanced at Cross again. “And then sometimes I do.”
“Why’s that?”
She looked up at me like I’d said the stupidest thing in the world, then rolled her eyes. “Booker, you guys have access to whatever you want. Beautiful women throw themselves at you guys. They would literally do anything you wanted them to. Anything. You could do whatever you wanted to them.”
“I don’t want—”
She put a hand up to stop me. “It doesn’t matter what you want. The point is that our girl brains sometimes get away from us. Even when we know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt us. It’s just there. Sometimes.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve seen it happen. Guys who loved their wives fiercely. Then something tempting comes along and they can’t resist.”
“Can we do this?” Cross called over.
“Thanks, Indie.” I leaned down to give her a hug.
“Watch it,” Cross yelled playfully.
Ransom, Dixon, Cross, and I spent hours talking to a slew of reporters with a couple of breaks but nothing long enough to do anything other than use the restroom. Lawson had really gone all-out for this one, though he’d said that with the way Courting Chaos was exploding, we were going to need to add to our team. Have specific people to deal with this PR stuff because it was taking up too much of his time. Someone to make official statements for us. He’d learned that dealing with the Eric Drinkswine sex scandal. Lawson had been running around like a chicken with his head cut off. At least, that was what the guys said. Basically, at the minimum, he needed a right-hand person to take some of this off his plate.
Each reporter asked questions that were basically the same. Some slightly varied or a touch different in the wording, but the questions were the same. Once in a while, one would ask something new and, though it was stupid, that was the best part. To be able to answer someone with a real answer not the same boilerplate we’d already said over and over.
When they asked how we thought the four of us were meshing? That was when we’d tell them that I was the permanent bassist. That this was now my band. They asked about music we were working on. Wanted to know our romantic statuses, which we never gave much information on even though, especially for Cross, the information was readily available online. None of us would out anyone we were seeing like that. They were the same inane questions time and time again. Until the one from Thunder Gods surprised us.
“Will the new song Booker performed at”—she flipped her page to check something—“Lukewarm be on the next album? The one that was released digitally as a live performance. Also, Booker, what brought on the impromptu performance?”
; “We haven’t made any decisions regarding the next album,” Ransom answered. He and Dixon usually did most of the talking which was fine by me. “That’ll come when the tour ends later in the year.” Then he looked to me, passing off the second question.
“Oh, uh… I’m not sure. I was there with a friend and a couple of people asked if I’d sing a song. No crazy story behind it.” Though I supposed I could’ve made something up.
“A friend?” she asked. I nodded in response because I wasn’t going to talk about Paige right then. She wasn’t done asking questions. “Did your bandmates know you can sing?”
I nodded. “They’ve heard me in the shower.” I left it at that.
Finally, we finished the last interview so we could grab a quick bite before getting ready for the show. It was too close to the show to eat much, but I had to have something before my stomach staged a protest. Afterward, we all returned to the dressing room to get ready and I grabbed my phone. Come hell or highwater, I was calling Paige.
At least… I thought I was until I found that my phone had died. Dead as in not a single ounce of juice. Fuck.
“Son of a bitch,” I muttered under my breath.
“What’s wrong?” Ransom asked.
“Phone’s dead.” I glanced around the room looking for any charger that would fit. There wasn’t a cord of any kind anywhere. “Anyone have their charger?”
“On the bus,” Ransom said. “Where’s yours?”
“On the bus. I’m going to go get it.”
As I got to the door, just about to reach out for the knob, it swung open, almost hitting me in the face. I jumped back in time, but damn that was close.
“Time to go,” Lawson called in.
Shit. I hadn’t realized it was so late because I didn’t have my phone and didn’t wear a watch. Apparently I also had no concept of time.
The guys shuffled toward us, which meant I had to go. Down the hall, almost to the stage, I handed my phone to Lawson.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“A phone.”
“Yeah. What am I supposed to do with it?”
“Can you get it charging while we’re on? My cord is in my travel bag on the bus if you want to use that. I need it when I’m done.” Normally, I didn’t ask him to do much for me. None of us were that way and preferred to take care of things ourselves, but I didn’t want to have to wait for the battery to charge once we were done. I wanted to use it.
“Sure,” said Lawson. “Now get out there.”
Chapter Twenty
Paige
Sitting at the hospital waiting wasn’t my favorite thing to do. At least when I’d had to wait as a nurse I’d had other patients to take care of to pass the time. Now all I had to do was wait for Booker to call me back and pace. Lots and lots of pacing the nervous energy out of myself.
We hadn’t been able to see her yet. They wanted to get all of the tests out of the way, were running another series of x-rays and considering a CT scan.
“Are you hungry?” I asked Joe. He hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink… well, since we’d gotten to the hospital hours ago. Or before that even.
“Not really.”
“Joe, I know you don’t feel hungry, but I think we should go down to the cafeteria and try to eat something.”
“I—”
“And get something to drink. You won’t do Marina any good if you end up downstairs for dehydration. It’s going to take a while for all the results to come back and I’ll let the nurses know that’s where we’ll be. They have your number. They’ll call you.”
He hesitated but finally nodded. “Fine.”
We walked down the hallway, made the quick stop at the nurse’s station and made sure to emphasize that they were to call Joe the minute the test results came back. Then I got him downstairs and talked him into at least taking a water and a burger. Hospital food, ironically, didn’t always have the healthiest choices, but I wasn’t going to bother thinking about that. Burgers were hearty, and filling and we had to eat plus I selected the same thing. We sat near the door—Joe insisted and maybe it made him feel like we could get out of the cafeteria quicker if we needed to, if they called with the test results. I understood that feeling.
“Have you gotten a hold of Booker?” He actually took a bite of his burger.
“Not yet,” I said. “I’ve left a couple of messages, though.”
Joe didn’t respond in any way and I figured now was as good of a time as any to ask him some things that had been on my mind. Something to occupy him while we waited.
“What about Booker being a musician do you hate?” Whoops. I hadn’t meant for it to come across quite so bluntly. “Sorry. If I’m overstepping I’ll… ”
“I don’t hate it. Exactly.”
“Then… ”
“The kid just dropped out of school and left when he was sixteen.”
“And you didn’t like that?”
He scrunched his face up at me. “Who wants their kid to drop out of school? Course I didn’t like it.”
I shrugged. “True.”
“His mom cried a lot when he first left. She understood. Marina always understood but he left without telling us at first. It was hard. But he’s doing it, making it, and seems to love it, but I’d feel more comfortable if he’d settle down into a more normal life. Something real and steady.” As we talked, Joe continued to take bites of his sandwich, which was why I kept going. If talking about Booker kept him eating, I’d do it all day.
“Maybe his real and steady looks different from yours,” I said softly. “A normal life isn’t for everyone.”
“Are you saying I should lay off him?”
“Hey.” I put my hands up defensively. “I would never put my nose that far into your business. And I know nothing of how the parent/child relationship works. But I’ve gotten to know him a little and I think Courting Chaos is his passion. A passion he didn’t need school to do.”
Joe wiped his mouth with a napkin, then dropped it onto the tray. “You done distracting me so I’d eat? I finished the burger. Can we go back up now?” His face hardened in such a way that he looked like he was trying not to laugh.
I bit my lips together to keep from doing the same thing. He’d busted me. The whole time I hadn’t even realized he’d grown suspicious. He just kept taking bite after bite and talking. The whole time I thought I was getting away with something. But nope.
“Yes,” I said with a grin. “I’m done. You go ahead. I’ll clean this up, hit the restroom, and meet you up there. You good with that?”
“Sure, Paige. Take your time.”
I watched Joe walk over to the elevator and step on. Then I cleared the table and stopped at the restroom just as I’d said I was going to. But I had something else I wanted to do. Again.
I’d called Booker before, left a message, sent a text. Still, he didn’t call me back. If it weren’t for his mother, I would’ve given up by now. I didn’t chase people. But Booker should have known his mother was sick again. Infections could be extremely dangerous and until we knew exactly what was going on, we couldn’t rule out the worst.
So I sucked up whatever embarrassment I had over being ignored and selected his name on my contact list. I didn’t hold out much hope that I’d get an answer yet still I had to try.
“Hello.” An exasperated voice I didn’t recognize answered Booker’s phone.
I pulled it away from my ear to make sure I’d picked the right person. I had, but this voice threw me off. Words froze on my tongue as if I didn’t know how to respond.
“I… I’m looking for Booker.”
“A lot of women say that,” the man said.
I winced back in surprise, as if he were standing in front of me and spoke those harsh words to my face. That was a shitty tone by anyone’s standard and made clear why he thought I was looking for Booker. “Is he around? I need to talk to him.”
“Listen… If Booker wants to talk to you, he’ll call you back.
He’s busy right now.”
“You don’t understand—”
“I understand perfectly. Doesn’t change anything. Booker will see that you called and call you back if he wants to. Right now, he’s on stage and there’s nothing more I can do for you.” Then the call ended.
“What the fuck?” I muttered under my breath. I didn’t know who that had been, or who he thought he was, but why was he answering Booker’s phone and being an asshole to me? Why wouldn’t Booker just answer? Right now he was on stage but he hadn’t been the whole time, I didn’t think. My old insecurities climbed their way back to the surface. Issues of abandonment and rejection that I thought I’d long since gotten past. “Screw this.” I powered my phone down and dropped it into my purse. I’d just have his dad call him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Booker
Being on stage felt like the best thing ever. This was where I was meant to be. We transitioned from one song into the next seamlessly, sounded fantastic and the crowd was into it. Not to mention Ransom was on fire. He did most of the interaction on stage and I was thankful for that. I just wanted to play. The other stuff was absolutely necessary; I just didn’t love it.
Ransom even stuck to the original lyrics and didn’t once tell anyone to lick his balls.
Once we finished our set and shuffled off stage, the crew began their work immediately. Tearing down our set and setting up Kissing Cinder’s. Lawson wasn’t right off the stage where he usually waited for us after a show. After quickly glancing around, I still didn’t see him and wanted my damn phone back.
“Anybody know where Lawson is?”
“We were on stage with you,” Dixon answered for all of them. “Why?”
“He has my phone.”
“Use mine. It’s in the dressing room.”
That would’ve been an easy solution if I’d memorized Paige’s phone number. “I’ll just find Lawson.”
I showered and changed first because after that performance, I was sweaty and gross plus I figured Lawson would show up at some point. Nope. He didn’t. Then I grabbed something to eat and still couldn’t find him.
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