by J. S. Cooper
“Every time I think about that night, I hate myself. I haven’t been able to function.” He sobbed. “I loved her, you know.”
“Is that why you became friendly with her mom?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “She’s a wonderful woman. She knows about that night and she forgives me. I couldn’t believe it, but she forgives me. That’s why I’m entering the fight. She’s going to lose her house. I need to get some money to help her.”
“Oh, Luke.” She held him tighter to her. “I wish you wouldn’t do this.”
“You can’t talk me out of it.” His voice was firm as he pulled away from her. “Ask your boyfriend. he’s already tried.”
“That I have.” I sighed and shook my head. “He won’t listen to reason.”
“But can you even fight?” Riley made a face. “Sorry, but I’ve never seen you—”
“Riley, shh.” I laughed as Luke looked hurt. “Now’s not the time to be asking if he can fight.”
“But isn’t that important?” Riley looked annoyed and then sighed. “I guess you know what you’re doing.”
“Yes, I do.” He nodded and gave me a smile. “Hudson’s going to train me.”
“What?” Riley’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nope.” I gave her a look. “He’s going to give me a hundred thousand for training him.”
“A hundred thousand from where?”
“His winnings.” I grinned. “I have someone who needs that money.”
“Oh?” She looked at me curiously.
“A friend of mine, Jamilah. You’ll meet her soon.”
“Okay.” She nodded, smiled, and walked over to kiss me on the cheek. “Just as long as she’s not an ex-girlfriend or something.”
I laughed. “She’s a kid.”
“What?” She looked confused again.
“Don’t worry. She’s not my kid.” I laughed again. “I’ll tell you more later.”
“Yes, dear.” She kissed me again, and I pulled her down so I could feel her warmth next to me.
“Okay, I think that’s my cue to leave.” Luke laughed and walked to the door. “So, I’ll see you next week?”
“Yup,” I nodded. “Start running. I want you running at least ten miles by the time we start training next week.”
“Okay.” He made a face, and I laughed.
“Now, get out of here. I want to kiss my girlfriend in private.”
“See you guys.” He left the room, and Riley just stared at me.
“I can’t believe any of that.” She shook her head. “When were you going to tell me?”
I groaned and closed my eyes. “Can we talk about something else?”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“How much you love me?” I opened my eyes and grinned up at her. “And how much I want to make love to you.”
“There’s no way I’m going to make love to you in your hospital bed.” She giggled.
“Why not? We’re sinners anyway.” I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Yeah, but not sinners who have sex in a hospital.”
“That’s what makes it so exciting.”
“You’re so bad, Hudson.” She shook her head. “And no, I’m not having sex with you here. There is no way in hell that is going to happen.”
I changed the subject and grabbed her hand. “You know, when I was unconscious, I had a dream.”
“Not of us having hospital sex?” She rolled her eyes.
“No, silly.” I laughed. “I had a dream that we got married.”
“Oh.” Her voice was soft, and I could see the surprise in her eyes.
“Yeah. I had a dream that we were married and we had kids. Only, I didn’t realize I was dreaming. I thought I was dead. And it made me sad. I thought I’m going to miss out on so much. I realized that I had so much life to live. So many regrets to give up. I realized that I needed to forgive myself. I couldn’t hold on to that pain and guilt forever.”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“But I couldn’t quite seem to find my way out of the darkness. I thought, This is it. I’m trapped here.” My breath caught as I thought about what it had been like. “And then I heard an angel talking to me. It wasn’t the same sweet voice that had been speaking to me earlier. It was an angel that had wings and the face of the woman I loved. And as she kept talking to me, I felt something soft caressing me, like a butterfly. And I started warming up.”
“Oh.”
“And then the angel kissed me.” I caressed her cheeks and stared up at her, wondering how I had gotten so lucky. “And all of a sudden, the darkness was gone. And I knew as soon as I stared into her brown eyes that I had to make her mine.”
“Oh,” she repeated again breathlessly.
“Marry me, Riley. Please marry me. I don’t want to go another day without you in my life.”
“Oh, Hudson.” Tears fell from her eyes. “Of course I will marry you. I love you so much.”
“We’re in this together, my darling. You are my everlasting love.” I grabbed her around the waist and kissed her hard. “I don’t want to live life with any regrets any more. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved. You’ve been it for me forever. You’re my life, and I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.”
“You’re my everlasting love as well.” She kissed me hard. “And my everlasting sin.” She grinned, and I looked at the twinkle in her eye and then gasped as I felt her hand on my chest.
“Everlasting sin?”
“I’m going to make love to you,” she whispered in my ear. “Sit back and enjoy the ride, Mr. Blake.”
“I love you, Riley.”
“I know, my love. I know.” And then she winked at me and pushed me back.
I closed my eyes and laughed to myself. I’d never thought that when I’d picked on the little girl on the bus that one day we would eventually land up in love and about to spend the rest of our lives together. It seemed like it was the perfect ending to our story though. I was going to spend the rest of my life loving and protecting Riley. And I was going to have the time of my life making sure it was as good for her as it was for me.
FILTHY LITTLE LIES
Filthy Little Lies
J. S. Cooper
Part 2
Filthy Little Lies
Prologue
Life isn’t easy. Love isn’t easy. Fairy tales are books we read to children. Romance novels are books that make teenagers dream of love and happily ever afters. The world is full of filthy little lies. Men tell them. Women tell them. Relationships are made up of them. I’m here to tell you my story. This is my diary. This is my life. This is my absolute truth. Trust me, you can’t make this shit up.
Chapter 4
I’m not going to say my name, just in case this diary is found by someone. You can just call me “that girl” like everyone else in my life. Well, not everyone else, but a lot of people in my town. When I was younger, I was the girl everyone felt sorry for. Now, I’m just the girl everyone whispers about in the streets. Only they don’t even know me. My best friend, Natasha, thinks it’s ironic that so many women judge me and think they’re better than I am. If they only knew the real me, they wouldn’t be smirking quite so much.
First, you should know that I don’t care about many people. I would die for my best friend, Natasha, my other best friend, Tom, and my dog, Lulu the Great (even though she’s not that great when she’s pissing on my thousand-dollar rug). It might surprise you to hear that I have a boyfriend. A very handsome and very rich boyfriend. He pays for my apartment. A luxury apartment in the city. It costs him about six thousand dollars a month in rent. I know that because I get a kickback of two thousand a month from the landlord. Don’t ask me why or how. You and I, well, we don’t know each other well enough for me to be divulging all my secrets.
I suppose you want to know my boyfriend’s name? I can give you his first name, but if I give you his last name as well, you may figure out who he is. And I can�
��t have that.
Aiden is his name. Yes, like Aiden from Sex and the City, a show I loved. I always thought Carrie should have chosen Aiden as opposed to Mr. Big, but what do I know? I’m not really an expert in love. Aiden is thirty-three, and he has short, dark-brown hair and green eyes. I think he’s Irish-Italian, with his name coming from his Irish roots and his naturally tan skin coming from his Italian side. He calls it olive skin; I say tan. Olives are green and black. He’s neither of those.
I told you before that he’s hot, right? He looks like Tom Cruise’s taller and handsomer brother. The other plus is that he’s good in bed. And when I say good, I mean flip-me-over-and-do-me-again good. I never have to say no to him. I should say I never want to say no to him. It would be a perfect relationship—if things were different.
Natasha thinks Aiden is a jerk, and Tom thinks he’s not good enough for me. They’re both right, of course, but I don’t care. I get what I want from him. Even if it’s not a love connection. I don’t really believe in true love. I mean, how can one man and one woman fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together? I’ve never seen it work. Not once. I don’t know any happily married couples.
Natasha thinks I’m jaded. I know, I know. I talk about Natasha a lot. She’s important to me. She’s what I call a true friend. She’s one of those friends who makes you feel like you’ve won something in life. She’s the real deal: genuine, compassionate, non-judgmental, and always there for me.
Most people would assume that she is some loser to put up with me. But Natasha is most probably the best person you could ever meet. She’s beautiful, as in Hollywood beautiful, with long, blond hair, blue-green eyes, a tiny waist, and a sweet smile. She’s also brilliantly smart. She has a master’s degree from an Ivy League university and works as an analyst for a big Wall Street firm. She’s also married to her college boyfriend, Brad. I don’t like him very much, so I’m not going to dwell on him.
Natasha and I are both twenty-six. We’ve been friends since the first day of college and she’s never dropped or judged me. Not even when she went to her fancy school. We talk every day and she knows everything about me. Well, almost everything.
Tom is my other best friend. He’s that guy every girl should have in their lives. He can fix things and be a listening ear when I need one. He gives me the male perspective whenever I need one. Oh, and he used to be my lover. Well, not just used to be. We’re still friends with benefits. But that’s between us.
That’s one of the things Natasha doesn’t know. It’s not like it’s every week or even every month. Just sometimes when I need someone to hold me. I call him and he comes over. And his coming over usually leads to sex. Hot, passionate, no-holds-barred sex.
Don’t judge me. I know it looks bad that I have my friend come over and fuck me in the apartment my boyfriend pays for. I never said I was a good girl. I don’t think you could go through the things I have in life and be a good girl.
Tom’s handsome as well, with his black hair and hazel eyes. He’s not very successful, though. He’s a writer. And I guess writing doesn’t pay that well. But he loves it and I suppose that’s all that matters. To him, anyway. I could never be with a guy who couldn’t afford to buy me the finer things in life. What can I say? I’ve done poor. I don’t want to do it again.
And then there’s me. I already told you that I won’t tell you my name. But you can know what I look like. I’m above average height, about five eight to be exact. I’m slender, with long, black hair, big, brown eyes, and voluptuous boobs that may or may not be natural. I’m what men call an exotic beauty. I don’t know why, exactly. I’m not from anywhere special. I grew up in the Midwest. But I suppose what a handsome man wants to call you is his business. If they have money and are good in bed, I don’t care.
I suppose you think I’m a slut? I’m not, but I’ve heard that before. Usually, from jealous women. But what can I say? I love sex. Is there any other activity that can make your body shudder with the most exquisite pleasure known to mankind for free? I think not. Sex is like free chocolate every day of your life that doesn’t make you fat. In fact, it makes you skinnier. How cool is that?
Wow, I’ve been really talkative today. Usually, I like to keep to myself, but today I’m feeling like putting it all out there. Sometimes I think my life is a Lifetime movie. I mean, that’s how it feels. Like my first lover—let me tell you more about him.
The first time I had sex, I was eighteen years old and a senior in high school. His name was Andrew. I wasn’t always a good student in high school and my grades reflected that even though I never failed a class. However, I nearly failed chemistry. I just didn’t understand or care. How was I supposed to remember the periodic table? Hydrogen, helium, lithium—say what? Neutrons, electrons, atoms. I mean, really? When the teacher started saying that the air was made up of tiny atoms, he lost me. I couldn’t see shit, and if I can’t see it, I don’t believe it.
So, one afternoon, the teacher told me to wait after school. He said, “You’re going to fail this class and you’re going to have to repeat it.” Which meant I wouldn’t graduate on time. I thought my world was about to end.
This is the point where I’m guessing you think I’m going to say that Andrew was a cute boy in my class and he offered to tutor me and I ended up getting an A. If this was a cutesy piece of fiction, that’s most probably how this story would go. However, this is my life, and as you should know by now, my life isn’t cutesy. I did end up getting an A in the class and I did graduate on time, but that was because Andrew was my teacher and I gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
The Offer
“Mr. Matthews, can I speak to you after class?” I asked him, batting my eyelashes.
“Sure.” He glanced at me with a stern expression.
“Thank you.” I smiled back with my most seductive expression and spread my legs slowly.
Andrew’s eyes widened as he realized I didn’t have any panties on under my skirt.
“No problem.” His face looked flushed as he looked away.
I grinned to myself as I saw him peeking at me every couple of minutes. He stumbled and bumbled through class, and he was positively squirming when the bell rang.
“How can I help you, Ms. X?” he asked me once everyone had left the room.
“I’m having trouble understanding the assignments, Mr. Matthews.” I walked to his desk, swinging my hips slowly and pushing my breasts out. I heard him gasp as he realized that he could see my nipples through my white top. I’d pulled my bra off and put it in my bag as the other students exited the room.
“How can I help you understand?”
“I don’t know if I will ever get it!” I pouted and walked over to stand next to him. “I just feel like I’m never going to be good at chemistry.” I brushed my chest against his arms, and he jumped back.
“Maybe you can get a tutor?” He looked at me warily.
“Would you be my tutor?” I gazed up at him with wide eyes. “Please?”
“I don’t know.” He gazed down at me and swallowed hard.
“Please, Mr. Matthews.” I grabbed his hand then and brought it up to my right breast. His eyes widened as he realized what I was doing. “I think we’d both benefit from you being my tutor.”
He stood there for a second and mumbled something before pulling his hand away.
“There are many things I want you to teach me, Andrew.” I breathed softly and tried again.
This time, I grabbed his hand and lifted my skirt up. I placed his hand in between my legs and rubbed his fingers gently across my wetness. He breathed in sharply and his eyes widened.
“What are you doing?” he asked me sharply, but he didn’t move his fingers away.
“I just want to pass the class, Mr. Matthews.” I licked my lips slowly and closed my legs together.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do.” He stared back at me with confusion on his face. I knew that he had mixed emotions about what was g
oing on.
“I think you do.” I leaned up and kissed him. “I think you do.”
“Shit.” He groaned, and I felt one of his fingers entering me.
I grinned against his mouth then. That was when I knew I had won. I would graduate, and I didn’t have to worry about my stupid chemistry class anymore.
I suppose you think what I did was cheap and wrong. But you’re the one who’s wrong. Andrew was a great first lover, and it was exhilarating finding new ways to have sex in school. If you only knew half of the things we did. We even had sex during class one day. I’m sure you’re trying to figure out how that happened. Maybe one day I’ll tell you.
However, this diary isn’t about Andrew and our crazy sexual adventure. This diary is about me and my crazy life. It’s about all the things I did that I can’t deny. It’s not pretty, but it’s all true. Aside from one thing. I lied about Aiden’s age. He’s not thirty-three. He’s a bit older than that. But that didn’t matter to me.
Not until that one day. Because that one day, I met a guy who seemed to see right through my soul. His name was Dominic. And Dominic was to be the undoing of me. You see, he was to become the first man I fell in love with. Only, falling in love doesn’t always mean rainbows and butterflies. This is the true story of my life and how love changed everything!
Chapter 15
If you didn’t already realize it, I like to have fun. Clean fun, dirty fun—I don’t care. I figure I might as well live my life to the fullest. That’s one thing Aiden likes about me. I’m not all over him like some desperate whore. And yeah, I said “likes” and not “loves.” I’m pretty sure Aiden doesn’t love me. Well, aside from every Saturday night when I say yes to whatever he wants to do. And he likes to do a lot.
Last weekend, he brought over a gag. It was different. I can’t say that it was my favorite. I’m not really a BDSM girl, but I do what he wants. He knows better than to whip me, though I’m always down for a good spanking. Some of my best orgasms have been after he’s spanked me. I actually have a pretty good story about one of the hottest times he spanked me. I’ll tell you if you promise not to judge me. I’ve already told you I’m not a good girl.