by Mason Sabre
He slid a hand up her back, cupped her neck from behind and pushed her so that she arched. He let a growl ripple out along her skin as he ran his mouth along her naked flesh again, and she moaned when he did it. His erection strained against his jeans, and if he didn’t let go of her now, he was going to take this too far.
“I don’t want to stop.” He kissed her again. Slow, wet and so openly possessive.
“Maybe I don’t want you to.” Another kiss, one she controlled. She nipped his lower lip, teasing. She grabbed his hand and moved it to her breast, then pushed his fingers over it and kneaded it with him.
“God. Don’t do that.”
He didn’t need a mirror to know his eyes were blazing with green fire when she let him go. Her own eyes were equally bright lights. She was panting. She licked across her swollen, kissed lips, and then a smile spread across them. “Let’s shift.”
Shifting this aroused only heightened every impulse he had and every sensation in his body. It was like shifting in an ecstasy, and either one of their worlds would explode in orgasmic relief with it. When Gemma dropped to her hands and knees in front of him, naked now, she let out an aroused whimper.
This was trust. Especially from Gemma … especially someone far up the chain of command. To be this close to her in this most vulnerable time spoke loudly to him. She met his gaze when her tiger came to the front. Her pupils completed their change to the oval blackness, and she shifted … never looking away, never backing down or hiding. This was his invite. That step over the threshold in the shifter world.
When she was done, it was his turn to shift and his turn to trust someone being this close to him. He did it, letting out a roar when he completed and digging his claws into the earth. Gemma let out a roar, too, answering his call to her, and then she raced off, leaping through the water and away from him.
They raced together, her always in front, him behind, watching her, ensuring her safety above his own. She ran free and hard, pushing herself. Such a magnificent sight in front of him. Her fur was more golden than his. It shimmered as the moon came out and bathed her in nightlight. And when she went to go the wrong way, Karl roared to her, and she answered, stopping hard before coming back to him.
He dared to take a step in her direction, dared to get close enough to her. If this was a true mating, he would have rolled himself, shown her his submission, and Gemma would have either rolled to deny him, or stood tall. She stood tall now, watching him, ears twitching all around to listen for anyone close to them. When he pressed the side of his face into hers, she rubbed back, pushing hard, letting him mark her … letting him put his scent on her, so if any other male came along, they would know she was taken.
The way Karl’s property went, much like many shifters’ homes, the land came around and spread out to farm lands. Mostly the cattle kept themselves to the farthest point, leaving it so that the grass close to the shifter grew tall and wild. They ran to that now. Ran to where the fenced off field met close to where they had taken their clothes off. Karl lowered himself and pushed through the gap underneath so the sheep on the other side wouldn’t see him.
Gemma stayed outside. This was his time to catch. His time to prove he could provide for her.
He slunk through the long grass with feline grace, his eyes on the prize of a lone sheep just separated from the flock. She was unaware and oblivious to what watched her from the side-lines. Before she even had time to bleat out a warning, Karl leapt from the shadows and bounded toward her, taking her down with one swift bite to her neck and killing her.
He brought it back to Gemma. Apart from where he had delivered the killing bite, the sheep’s body was clean, fresh, ready for her to take the first bite. He put it on the ground in front of her and nudged it closer. He was feeding her … providing for her. This was shifter courtship. Proving that he could provide for a future family, and that he was an animal she could mate and reproduce with. He’d have had no business trying to get to know her if he couldn’t do this. It was hard, though. The rush of a kill and then having to have that self-control not to feast on the catch, especially when he was so aroused from Gemma. He was showing her that he could put her before his own natural instincts … that he would see her survival above his own.
As Gemma feasted on the sheep’s flesh, Karl sat close to her, holding guard. And only when she was ready, did she growl at him and invite him to join her. He was ticking off so many of the boxes in their customs he was afraid to believe them … almost afraid to take a bite now. But if he didn’t, he would insult her.
When their bellies were full and their fur cleaned, Karl roared out to Gemma. Every instinct in them had been completed, save one … He loped over to her, circling her at first before he came to sit. He licked across her face, across the edge of her mouth and her whiskers, and when he came to the nape of her neck, he took a chunk of it into his mouth, biting down with enough force to make her understand, but not so much that he would break the skin.
She braced a paw against his chest, pushing him back. The half-moon peeked out above them. It was dark now. The evening had drawn in as they had run and fed and cleaned together. Gemma pushed away from Karl, swishing her tail and giving him the signal she was ready to shift back now.
He had never done this with another of his kind before, not with anyone. He had run with the rest of the tigers, of course, but this level of intimacy was something else. Something that Karl never thought he would get the chance at, let alone take it like this. But Gemma was so willing. He couldn't believe it was real.
When she finished her shift back to a woman, she stayed in her crouched position, knees tucked under her, hands on the ground. She was perfect … beautiful under the moonlight. He let out an approving growl before commanding his own tiger to retreat.
“That felt so good,” she said when he had finished. She hadn’t moved.
His heart was hammering from it all. His skin alive and in need of more. He had sated every part of his tiger, but this last one. “It was.” He crawled over to her, the depth of her gaze on him making his insides do crazy things—inexplicable things. “You are so beautiful.” He almost purred the words out as he slid a hand around the back of her neck to pull her closer, so he could kiss her again.
She smiled against his mouth and moved to get nearer to him. The heat of her ... the scent of her almost overpowering him. He kissed her fully now, possessing every part of her mouth as his hands slid along her body … along her hot skin. He grabbed her hand and slid it down his body to his erection, wrapping her hand around it. She whimpered against his mouth and then stopped. Stopped in a way that made him pause.
He gave her a moment, trying to quieten his own rushing pulse as they stayed still, her hand on him, his hand pressing her to his body. “If you want to stop, it’s okay.”
“Sorry,” she whispered.
She dipped her head down, but he caught her, releasing her hand so he could grab her chin and angle her face. He ran a thumb across her lips, her eyes shone with unshed tears. “It’s okay.” He placed a kiss on her mouth. She kissed him back. Not like before. This wasn’t the prelude to what they were going to do, but a kiss of reassurance. He took her hand from him and then wrapped both her arms around his waist as he embraced her and rested his face in her hair. “There’s no rush, okay?”
She nodded against him, and he held onto her, and closed his eyes.
Chapter 9
Cade
Walking into the kitchen, Cade threw his jacket and tie on the table. A sense of dread pressed in at the edges of his skin. He was a lie. Walking in there … in his own home with Natalie there … it was all wrong. He had to keep walking, though. He had to keep going even as his wolf howled at him to walk away … His wolf didn’t like the idea, and he would be caught in the intoxicating scent of Natalie’s oestrus. Something so natural to him … to them, yet, when he was apart from her, he could fight it. He could remember what it was he truly wanted.
Gemma.
The sound of her voice alone had been enough to stir in him things he had fooled himself into believing he had control of. Last night he’d slept with Natalie, given over to the natural parts of his wolf. He’d told himself that he could do this. It was what Gemma wanted, but now, standing with the sound of Natalie’s laughter rich in the air, his skin spiked with raised fur and his heart fractured. What had he done?
He leant against the back of a chair, gripped it and put his head down. His head fogged and made him dizzy, but his wolf howled inside, demanding he fix this. He could go upstairs to his room and lock the door. Natalie was so caught up with laughter that maybe she wouldn’t hear him.
His home had always been a comfort to him, but now it was wrong, alien. Every part of the house held a memory of Gemma, but he’d tainted them. He’d given into something.
He shook his head. If he went straight to his room, it would make Natalie come to find him. Worse … it would put her in the wolf’s lair, and he didn’t trust himself, or his wolf around her now. He went to the lounge instead. It would be better to see her there. Tell her he was home and going to bed.
Natalie was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room. The television was on, playing out some concert and filling the room with the happy echo of music. Kara, her sister, was sitting on the sofa, both wore shorts and no shoes, showing off long legs. It was common amongst shifters to wear less, even when it was cold. Housing two beings in one body meant their bodies ran naturally hot. “Good day?” he asked, raising his voice a decibel to complete the façade he was pleased to see her, but even that lanced him with guilt, shards of it slashed across his insides. This wasn’t her fault.
“It’s been a great day.” Both women smiled at him. Natalie more so, and she immediately pushed herself up from the floor to come to him. He almost stepped back. A gut reaction to move out of her way, because she would touch him, but he grounded himself, gripping onto the jamb of the door. “You smell like hunting,” she said, breathing in. Warm air danced across his skin and he had to slam the first mental shutter into place, with Natalie being so close.
Maybe this was what rape victims meant when they said their bodies gave them pleasure and they didn’t want it, when their bodies betrayed them. Except he hadn't been raped. His wolf had made him the willing participant and put him as a spectator in his mind, so lost with the lust of the mating that everything else had been forgotten to him.
Cade forced an arm around her, pulling her to him so the soft swell of her breasts pressed against his chest. Dangerous. This was dangerous “I went for a run with Phoenix. Thought I would see what he was up to.”
“He’s okay?”
Cade nodded. He had to swallow hard and remind himself where he was, let his ears take in the sounds of the television, and the presence of Kara pressed against his mind. If they were alone, Cade was certain his wolf would have overridden again, determined to take every shot at a wolf in season and solidify his chance at an heir. He was pretty sure he’d already done it, though. Even now, just a day since, and he could swear he could feel the pressure on his mind … a faint presence.
It had been there with Connor. They hadn’t realised it and when Gemma had told him she was pregnant, it answered that part of his brain. He’d been connected to their son before they even knew he existed. He was still connected now even though he was gone—even though he was dead. His brain tortured him, refusing to sever the link between father and son. Some days it was almost like he could go to that place in his mind and find him—a hand reaching through the dark oblivion. It choked him. How could he ever risk going through that again?
“He’s great,” Cade said. “He bought a new part for his bike … god knows what it is.” Phoenix was easy to talk to … easy to be with. Fate had somehow thrown him into his path and for that, Cade would be eternally grateful.
Natalie slid a hand along Cade’s arm, creating an army of ants to run under his skin. “Do you want to join us? Kara brought wine. We’ve a movie too, but we were waiting for you.” Her question wasn’t really a question, but more of an expectation. A normality.
Feigning a yawn, he caught her hand. “Would you be mad if I head on to bed? I’ve been busting phone records and bank transactions all day. My eyes are about ready to divorce me.”
Disappointment flashed across her pretty blue eyes. “It’s early.”
“I know.” He snaked an arm around her again and pulled her to him, so he could rest his face against hers—cajole her, perhaps. Kara was watching them. Her gaze was like rays of sunshine on his skin. She had the power of future sight, and that wasn’t something he needed to be close to, although she said she couldn’t see anyone close to her—anyone with meaning. He wondered how close to Natalie he had to be for that black wall to come up between them.
“I can go if you—” Kara put her glass on the table, ready to leave the two mating wolves to it, but she was his barrier … a safe thing before he let his wolf do any more damage.
“No.” He raised his hand, freeing Natalie a little, and she spun around in his grasp, putting her back to him and pressing her soft curves to his body. It made his mind swim and his wolf ready to take Cade to places he didn’t want to go. “I’ll be asleep before my head hits the pillow. You two enjoy the film.” He quickly placed a kiss on Natalie’s head and then released her so he could back-step out of the room and out of danger. His wolf growled a protest. Luckily, he had shifted tonight–worn him out. “Goodnight.”
Cade hit the stairs almost running. Natalie and Kara were back to talking and laughing before he even made it to his room. It eased the pain inside a little—the pain that said he was ruining Natalie’s life, and she was letting him. Worse … she was willingly taking part in it.
He took a shower before going to bed. An attempt to wash away his day. It didn’t work, though. Every piece imbedded in his skin … another notch against his brain that was dangerously close to setting off the wolf and turning him feral. When he was showered, he lay on his bed in just his boxer shorts, not even bothering with the light or closing the curtains. The moon was almost full tonight. Its light shone in and touched his skin, but it did nothing to chase away the scents in his room. Natalie’s scent was thick on his bed, and it covered him like an unwanted clammy blanket he couldn’t shake off.
From downstairs, the sounds of laughter travelled up, a dark contrast to how he was feeling. He rolled onto his side and pressed his ear into the bed. The sounds were too loud, and they infiltrated every sense in his head. He rolled the other way, but that only made it more so. Giving his eyes nothing to focus on but the blank wall of his room, his brain searched for the sounds.
Sitting up and leaning against the headboard, he raised his knees, so he could rest his elbows on them and put his head in his hands. He pressed the palms over his ears and pressed them hard to push away the noise.
“Godddd.” He smacked his head back and hit it off the top of the headboard. His blood heated under his skin—an underground river of lava. He rocked with it, trying to get his body to calm. There was no reason for this anger….
Getting off the bed, he padded barefoot over to the window and pushed it open. The cool evening breeze rushed in and touched his heated skin. Gemma was out there … she was out there and not here. He let his eyes close and his mind travel outwards as if he could reach her and bring her back to him. Her voice was a montage of words in his mind, all of them clambering for attention
“It was a mistake.”
“We can't do this.”
“It isn’t meant to be.”
They were all lies. Cade gripped the edge of the window and doubled over at the waist.
“Fuck.”
The wooden edge of the window gave a loud crack as the wood splintered, but it was the only anchor he had as he fought against the demons in his own head. He rose quickly, sending his head off balance from the movement, but then he raised his hand, clenched it into a fist and smashed it into the solid wall next t
o the window. Pain exploded in his knuckles and reverberated all the way along his arm. He didn’t care. He brought his fist back for another shot and punched again. This time harder, this time with more purpose. He clenched his teeth. It was good. It was cleansing. The pain could wash away every wrong he had done. Agony sliced along his bones threatening to split them into two, but he hit again and again, grinding his jaw. “Fuck you,” he growled. Fuck you to whoever decided this was his life … his fate.
Blood marred the wall where he had punched it, but he still hit, slamming it now with a wet thump. His hand went numb, his knuckles broken for sure, but he didn’t care. Didn’t give one ounce of shit for it.
“Fuck everything.” Blood oozed from his hand. Breathless, he wiped his other hand across his damp face and ground his jaw harder. He had to see her. It was the only way….
Chapter 10
Cade
Gemma wasn’t home when Cade got to her house. He hammered on her door with his good hand, clutching the battered and bloodied one to his chest. He had wrapped a towel around it, soaking up the blood and hiding it from Natalie as he had made an excuse to leave, muttering something to her about helping Phoenix. He’d not cared. He just had to get away from there and to Gemma.
He leant against her door and put his head back to calm himself. He was on fire inside. Adrenaline pumped along his spine and threatened to send his mind into a frenzy that would unleash the wolf—the hunting wolf who knew exactly what he wanted. He couldn’t help it. Frustration flowed through him like molten lava. It burnt him with such desires he could touch it if he closed his eyes and wished for it hard enough.