by Mason Sabre
She had asked Stephen about it once, and he told her not to pry. “Don’t ask,” he had said, and she didn’t. But even with it all unspoken between them, she knew … deep in her child heart, she knew. It was one reason she hated to hurt him so much now. Why she hated to see that jaded look in his eyes.
Her father parked his car to the right, next to Trevor’s. Each of them had parking spots that no one else used, for each other.
“Cade is here,” Gemma said to no one in particular as she stared out. She’d not expected him to be there. She’d made herself not think about it.
“I told him to come,” Malcolm said, as he cut the engine and removed the keys. “His father requested it.”
A cold claw wrapped itself around Gemma’s stomach, twisting it, knocking the air from her. She let go of a slight gasp, her voice stolen.
No …
“It’s to show Natalie the ways of the Council,” her mother added, obviously seeing her daughter’s distress and knowing exactly what she was thinking. “Like we are with Karl.”
Natalie was here …
It was to show Cade and Gemma that the mates were real. That was what it really was. Her parents could dress it up however, they liked, but this was a knife in both of their hearts.
The five of them got out of the car in silence. Malcolm walked ahead, leaving Gemma with her mother, Karl and Evie. It wasn’t rudeness or ignorance on his part. It was his position in the pack, his authority with them.
“Kathleen isn’t here,” Emily remarked as she buttoned up her cardigan.
Gemma swept her gaze across the array of cars. “Odd.” When Karl gave her a questioning look, she said, “Kathleen doesn't go out … ever.”
“Pack business, though,” Emily said, inclining her head towards the house.
“True. He’s probably sent her out somewhere.” She was the little woman in his eyes. Her place was firmly in the kitchen, not in the business, and it certainly wasn't in the eye of the storm when it came to pack dealings. Trevor did not want some woman there. She came to meetings when she had to, attended things when she had his permission, but mostly, she stayed out of the way—stayed at home.
As with all the pack leader homes, they had a room that was designated for pack meetings, like this one. There was one in Trevor’s home, off to the side where his office was located, but unlike her own father, Trevor did not allow people into his space—his office. That was strictly off limits to all. He had a large table in the middle of the meeting room. The same faces of the Council were there … almost all of them.
Kathleen was fussing at the back of the room. She was arranging the drinks shelf and then moving it, and then rearranging it again. “Oh. You are here,” Emily said, when they got closer. She leant in and gently kissed Kathleen on the cheek. “We saw your car was gone and thought you were out.”
As if caught doing something wrong, Kathleen grabbed one hand in the other and twisted at her fingers together. Her face flushed a little just under her eyes. “Aaron borrowed it,” she said, her voice low. “Something to do with the starter something … is wrong with his car.” She took a breath. “I don’t know.” She smiled, covering her apparent embarrassment.
Emily clasped a hand over her arm, not seeming to notice so much. Ever the social butterfly. “Well, my son-in-law fixes cars. I could have him a look. Karl?”
This was his moment, his chance. He stiffened, and his hand became clammy in hers. “It’s his hobby,” Gemma added for clarification. “Maybe he could take a look at Aaron’s?”
“I’ll tell him. Ask him to call.”
Aaron wasn't there yet. If he was, Emily would have grabbed him and thrust him right into Karl’s face, forgetting personal space and choices. She hadn’t been so comfortable with Karl coming along for the meeting, either. Not that it was anything against Karl. Just that this was something—something big … maybe it was throwing him in at the deep end and he’d see how fucked up everything was and leave. He’d have been better to attend one of the yawn inducing meetings, where he could sit at the back and nod off unnoticed.
“I’m going to step outside for a moment,” Gemma said to her mother. She pressed herself into Karl, into his warm, comforting space. Her heartbeat hadn’t calmed. If anything, it was close to sky rocketing. Her pulse was a build-up of nervous energy. Being in this house … a house that smelt so much like Cade, was almost too much for her. Karl slipped an arm around her waist and rested his hand possessively against her hip. “I’ll be back in a few,” she said, smiling at him.
She turned to leave the room, turned to get herself out of the house. She didn't trust herself just yet … didn't trust the silence of her tiger. She hadn’t seen Cade yet, but he was here, somewhere, and every minute that passed by, was another notch on her fear. She’d snap the moment she saw him, she knew she would. If she closed her eyes enough, the scent of the room and the feel of Karl, it was almost like she could make it that that was Cade.
But there he was. Right in front of her, coming into the room, eyes locking onto hers instantly like homing missiles that knew exactly where the target was—her soul.
His pupils flared, the blues of his eyes sparked to life with the visible emotion that drove right through him before he could catch it. It was a reaction that mirrored her own. “Cade,” she said, nodding at him, her voice cool, icy … a betrayal of how she felt.
Next to him, holding his hand, was a woman, a beautiful tanned woman with olive skin, hair a little darker than her own. She looked Mediterranean, or at least a descendant from there. Perfect lips, perfect face … perfectly his. “Natalie?” It was a half question, half greeting.
“You must be Gemma,” Natalie said, her voice light. “It's nice to finally meet you.”
Gemma stepped back again to go toward Karl who had followed behind her. He wasn’t the safety net for her, but he was the safe harbour for her tiger. “This is Karl,” Gemma said. Her eyes flicked from Natalie and then to Cade where she hovered a little, and he held her gaze. It made her chest tight, made her want to step across the gap between them and take him away.
If the world could have swept her away, taken her from that moment, those feelings … heat swelled in her stomach and threatened to spill over into her, but her tiger lay passive in the darkness. Immobile with the trauma she didn't know how to deal with. The only place she could go was Karl. It was like she was dying … truly dying inside her. She had given up. Even now, as Cade stood so close, she didn't reach for him like usual. She didn't spring to life to claim the wolf as her own.
Without notice, Natalie wrapped arms around Gemma’s shoulders. It startled her when she brought her into a friendly embrace. Gemma froze, unsure what to do and how to react, but she let Natalie hold her for a moment—a warm, wolf body pressing close to hers. A body that held a lingering scent of Cade and threatened to rock the facade Gemma was barely holding into place. It gave her an odd sense of home, too.
“Cade told me you two mated this week,” Natalie said, not realising how sharp her words were. Not her tone … no, that was filled with joy and happiness, but her words were like a knife to Gemma’s gut. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Karl said, and when she hugged him too, her smile widened with delight. “I believe you both did too?”
“Yes.” She glanced back to Cade, and then just as fast, to Gemma. She was like a breath of sunshine after a storm had just passed. “Maybe you would both like to come over one evening? Have some drinks. Hunt … Oh, but I can’t drink. I—” Her hand went to her abdomen as she cut herself off from what she was going to say.
Cade tensed, Gemma did too. It sent waves into the air that made it hard to breathe … choked them … choked her. Her heart clenched instantly, and the implication of what Natalie had said clawed in the back of her throat like acid. Her mind stuttered for the right words as she tried to speak. “Can’t—” She took in a deep shuddering breath, felt her expression cracking. She was shaking. “Excuse me,” she sai
d. Her hand went to her mouth, and she pushed past them all and raced out of the room.
Chapter 36
Cade
The three of them stood frozen into place as Gemma bounded up the stairs and along the landing to the MacDonald’s, bathroom. Cade, Karl and Natalie … all of them stayed standing between the rooms, their bodies stuck as if time itself was standing still. Only Natalie and Karl held quizzical expressions on their faces, not knowing the reason Gemma was upset and what had pushed her to race up the stairs with an audible sob.
Cade knew … Cade knew it like the sharp edges of his heart that had shattered to the floor around them the moment Gemma had fully understood Natalie’s innocent slip. He raised his eyes, not to look at Natalie or Karl, or even to the vacant spot Gemma had filled just a moment ago. No. His eyes met with the accusing expression of Emily across the room. He ground his jaw. No one else in the room would have cared for their topic of discussion. They would have drowned it out like white noise on their radar. But Emily … she knew.
His heart clenched into a tight fist inside his chest. His body was almost fluid as he turned his head to glance up the stairs to where Gemma had gone. He could hear her—his wolf could hear her. The sounds of her pain, her anguish came down the lines in his mind … that connection to her. His heart was breaking into two and he could do nothing to shield the agonising sounds that filled his head. He fisted his hands to his sides. His wolf howled with protest. He wanted to go to her, to comfort her and make it all right again.
“Cade …” Kathleen’s sweet, light voice was a welcome break into his psyche. It silenced the link between him and Gemma before he raced up the stairs and said fuck it to everyone around them. Her movement into their circle brought them all back to life. To Cade, it felt as though they had been standing there for an hour or more, sharing the mutual heartbreak he knew Gemma was feeling, but it was mere seconds.
“Mum.” He leant into her, grabbed her shoulders and placed a kiss on her cheek as he always did. “Did you finish your painting?” It was an easy question, an easy thought for his clouded mind. He could still feel Gemma inside him, their bond strong enough that he just needed to focus, and he could reach out to her through it. His wolf rose through his vocal chords, making his question a half growl. He cleared his throat. “Sorry.”
“I did.” Her eyes flitted from Cade to Natalie. She nervously smiled, her joy peaking at the edges like she was afraid to let it out, but it was there. It radiated from her, but even more was the smile she gave Natalie—her new daughter-in-law. If Kathleen loved anything as much as her painting, it was family. She had welcomed Aaron’s mate, Isobel, in with wide, open arms. She loved her to pieces. Loved her even more when she had delivered young to the family.
“I bet Natalie would love to see it,” Cade said, nodding to his mate. “Why don’t you show her?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to bore—”
“I’d love to,” Natalie beamed, cutting in. She slipped her hand back into Cade’s and pressed her side to his. It was warm, calming to his wolf to have that contact with another, but it tore him too. Tore at his wolf who was fighting inside with himself, confused to the point of whimpering. Cade squeezed her hand back to give himself a moment of balance. “Are you coming?” Natalie asked him.
“I’ve seen them.” He tried to keep his tone light. He leant into her, even though his mother could hear him, the whispering was more intimate … more for his promise to Natalie. “Spend some minutes with her,” he whispered. “Painting makes her come alive.” He kissed her then, on the side of her neck, his lips against that delicate fragile skin. Even that small gesture brought guilt to his gut. He straightened himself. “I’m going to speak to my father.”
The two women left, and it left Cade to stand with Karl in awkward silence. “I’ll go and check on Gemma,” Karl said after a moment. He’d stuffed his hands in his jean’s pockets and stood out of place in the grand hallway. But right then, Cade envied him. Not just for his casual wear, or that he didn’t fit … that was a problem Cade had felt his entire life. No. What he envied was that Karl could race upstairs. He could knock on that door, go into the room and scoop Gemma up into his arms and sooth the pain.
Cade gave a reluctant nod. “The bathroom is at the top, take a left.”
Cade watched Karl head up the stairs. He had no intention of finding his father. If Cade could choose, he wouldn’t see his father at all this evening. Instead, he headed to the kitchen and closed the door behind him. He was so damn relieved to find the room empty.
In the cabinet above the unused toaster was where his father kept bottles of alcohol for when he entertained. Bottles he wouldn’t miss. Cade reached and grabbed for the first one. He didn’t care what it was. He just needed something … anything that would take the edge off the spike in his head. It speared through his entire body.
He grabbed a glass from the small lit shelf in the corner and poured himself a drink. Whiskey was what he had grabbed. It burnt as it went down, thick and hot in his throat. He gave a cough after three large gulps, spluttering it out, but he wiped his mouth across the back of his hand and poured another drink.
“Drinking won't help,” Emily said from the doorway. She had come in and closed it behind her quieter than he had. He’d heard her of course, smelt the rich scent of a familiar tiger, but he hadn’t acknowledged her.
He turned now and leant his back against the counter. He shoved the bottle on the side beside him, but not before pouring himself another drink. He drank again, not with the same urgency this time, and not all of it. “No. But it can’t make it any worse.”
Bringing the glass to his mouth again, he slowly drained the rest of his drink as Emily stalked across the room, her movements pure feline … her cat was alive—awake. She grabbed a glass from the same shelf above the rack and then took the bottle Cade had shoved on the side and poured herself a drink. When she offered the bottle to Cade, he shoved his glass at her for her to refill it.
She leant on the other counter, the corner of the units between them. She drank, long and slow, taking it in, but her tigress eyes stayed focused on Cade. “You let her go,” she said after she swallowed. “You let her mate with someone else.”
Cade held his glass between the tips of his fingers, and he swilled what was left in it around the bottom of the glass. “I didn’t. I—”
She took a gulp of her drink. “You did. You gave up.”
Cade looked up, wolf met with cat in a standoff as a hundred thoughts and words flashed around Cade’s mind and made him mute for a moment. He lifted his glass to his mouth, drank what was there, and let out a whiskey filled sigh like he was breathing fire. It made him dizzy and his focus fuzzed at the edges with a warmth seeming to spread all around him. “I didn’t give up. I …”
“You mated with someone too.”
Cade narrowed his eyes at her, at the madness she was speaking. “We had no choice.” Cade said. “You and Malcolm, you gave us no choice.” He shook his head and stole his gaze from Emily. He couldn’t look at her. Couldn’t look at anyone. The sounds in the house hummed. Conversations happened in different corners. Outside, Cade could see some of his father’s wolves talking away. Right then, he couldn’t imagine what could be more important than what was happening in his own head. “We tried, you know?” Cade said, tossing a glance over his shoulder at her. Emily poured herself another drink and when she offered him the bottle, he shook his head. “We tried so many times, but it was like the world kept throwing blocks in our way. The harder we fought, the bigger the bricks … and it was you and Malcolm throwing them.”
“So you gave up? It was too hard, and you gave up?”
“No …”
“Do you love my daughter, Cade? Do you love Gemma?”
His hand tightened around the glass. “Do I love your daughter?” He took a breath. He scoffed. “No. No I don’t love her. Love is just a thing, a word. I can’t even describe what I feel for her, because it is stronger
than love. Love is what you have for your brother or sister. Love is what you feel for your new house. No. I don’t love Gemma. What I feel is more than love.” He turned to stand with his back leaning against the door that led outside. Emily held her arms folded across her chest, clutch bag in one hand, glass in the other. “I’d give my life for her.”
Emily nodded, stared down at her glass, then lifted her eyes again. This time, the look in them was not so friendly. “But now you have a baby with another.”
Suddenly, he wished he had taken that drink. He wished he had taken the whole damn bottle and knocked it back. He could feel the fuzziness of it, but it wasn’t enough. Not yet. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to drink enough, but he could try. He shook his head at Emily. He had no answer for that comment. What could he say? Blame it on his wolf? That would betray them both, and… betraying his unborn child who was nothing but innocent in all of this. But all of that would seem like he didn’t have the balls to take ownership of what he had done.
“You were supposed to take her away from all of this, Cade. You say you feel more than love for her. You—”
“I do. Don’t you ever.” He shook his head, clamped his mouth shut for a second. “I would have taken her away. I asked her a hundred times and every time she said no. What was I meant to do? Hit her over the head and drag her with me?”
Emily moved and put herself closer to Cade. She was almost as tall as him. She seemed taller right then. “You were meant to do something. Anything …” Her growl of frustration matched his own.
“We were going to leave. When she was pregnant. We were going to go then. But Stephen …” even now he struggled to say the word died. Dead … his friend couldn’t be dead. “We were going to try again before the mating too, but Malcolm stopped us.” He scoffed and shook his head again. “He has an execution order with my name on it. Do you know that? He showed it to Gemma. We’d decided to do it. To take the chance and she was ready. I had her at the door. What do you think happened when her father showed her that? It wasn’t me who pushed her to mate with someone else, it was your mate.”