Her lips seemed to harden, her smile pained. He felt her stiffen as he moved in closer. He let himself nudge her hair with his nose, breathing in deep, filling his lungs with her perfume. He watched her lips open a little. Her breathing grew shallow. He tilted his mouth to her ear, whispering.
“You are far lovelier than any young creature on that boat.”
He pressed his lips to her cheek. She trembled, pushing his arm away, taking a few steps to the side. He stared at her in mild surprise but backed away, letting his hands drop.
“I apologize,” he said. “I went too far.”
She only smiled weakly at him, a tear rolling down her cheek. She seemed to deflate, leaning against the railing, her hands shivering.
“It’s not you, Quinn,” she whispered. “I… I just find it all so strange. It’s a flood of memories-”
“I understand, Lily, really.”
She stared up at him, her eyes wet. He gazed back at her with concern.
“I think I’m ready to go home.” She winced with pain, fishing in her purse for a tissue as the sobs came.
He took her elbow and led her out to his car.
***
The half-hour drive was long and quiet. The streets shined from the brief rainfall, lights flickering and repeating like mirrors all over the place. He had turned on some soft music to help her hide her crying and made sure not to make any sudden moves she might take as an advance.
Just as they turned down into Nock, she spoke.
“You’ve been very kind tonight, Quinn. Very patient with me.”
“I see you’re not really ready for anything more, Lily. I understand. I just overstepped. Let the moment take me.” He sighed. “I felt something and I hoped you felt it too.”
In the darkness of the car, he felt her hand pat his arm.
“I did, Quinn. I do. You are a very kind, intelligent, and frankly fun man to spend time with. I’ve enjoyed our conversations. Enjoyed, honestly…” She sighed, looking out the passenger window again. “Your attention. You are quite the gentleman. I see now why you can write romance so well.”
He half laughed, smiling.
“I’m just… just…”
“Not ready,” he said. “I understand, Lily. Just don’t wait too long. You need someone in your life.” He sighed. “I need someone in my life now that my marriage is done.” He huffed. “She called me today to ask me not to go see my daughter in concert on Tuesday. I am a risk for embarrassment apparently.”
“Embarrassment?”
“My daughter,” he said. “She’s afraid my wife and I will fight. And there’s a chance she could end up with a scholarship after that concert. Some important people in the audience. So I was the one chosen to make the sacrifice this time. Heaven forbid we might go and simply just not speak to each other. No, one of us has to not be there.”
“I’m so sorry, Quinn.”
“I’m sorry too,” he said. “I shouldn’t bring it up. I was trying to forget bad things tonight. Just have fun.”
“And then I went and got all deer in the headlights for you.”
He turned sharply to her, a little surprise running through him. She smirked.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. It was a wonderful night. And honestly, that was the perfect moment. I just wasn’t in the right headspace, I guess.”
“Heartspace,” he said. “Not headspace.”
He pulled into her driveway.
“Your heart is hurting because you want what you had before,” he said. “And I am not him.”
She blinked at him, another single tear rolling down her cheek.
He got out of the car and walked around, opening her door. He wrapped her arm around his and walked her slowly up to her porch.
“All that said…” He smiled at her as they stopped at her door. “It was a lovely night.”
“It was,” she said. She squeezed his hand.
“And I hope we get to have many more before I have to return.”
She blinked up at him.
“I do too,” she whispered.
He took a deep breath.
“Well, goodnight Lily.”
“Goodnight Quinn.”
They stared at each other for a long moment. He turned to walk away, but her hand grasped harder. He gazed back at her. She stared up at him and opened her mouth. A whisper crept out.
“I think-”
He leaned in and kissed her lips. At first, she tensed, but then she melted a little, leaning against him. He let her break away first, watching as she opened her eyes.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
A smile slowly grew on his lips as she wiped away her tears. She squeezed his hand once more and turned to go inside. He walked back to his car and sat, watching as she closed the door. He backed out and left her neighborhood, turning back onto the main road, a long, deep sigh escaping him.
Without turning his eyes from the road, he turned on his phone. When he parked in front of the house he checked his messages. Kate had texted him just once.
“Hi, Quinn. Staying with you felt so good last night. I hope you had a better day today.”
He smiled.
“I did,” he said. “In more ways than one.”
He went inside and went straight to bed.
Chapter 9
HEARTSPACE
The little jingle and vibration seemed to enter his dreams, echoing in the background and stopping, only to start back up again. He opened one eye. The darkness in the room told him it had to still be very early in the morning. The clock on his phone said two fifteen. Without reading who it was, he answered it.
“H-hello?”
“Oh thank god!”
Tamara.
“What’s up angel?” He coughed a little, groaning as he rolled over.
“I did what you said,” she said. “I let Billy take me over to the club and… and…” She burst into tears. “He met my friend Megan. They got drunk and I had to drive them home. They were making out in the backseat. I had to drive his piece of shit truck and… and I…” She broke into sobs. “I switched to my car and left them in the parking lot at the store and I… I… I don’t wanna go home, Quinn.”
“What do you want me to do, angel?”
“Can I come stay with you? I was supposed to go to her house, but now…”
He stared up at the ceiling. The pale blue glow from his phone lit up the room. She spoke again.
“Baby?”
He blinked.
“Hmm?”
“Can I come over? Please?”
“What would your dad think?”
“He thinks I’m with Megan, spending the night at her house.”
“And if he sees your car outside here?”
She sighed.
“Look, angel, it’s fine if you want to come, but I don’t want to make worse trouble for you.”
“I’ll get Billy to give me a ride.”
“Wait, angel, that’s a really bad idea.”
“Why?”
“Don’t you think Billy would tell someone? If you do this it has to be a secret between you and me.” He heard her sigh. “Why don’t you just go home and we plan something for tomorrow-”
“Wait, Megan!”
He listened to her breathless coughing as the ran across the parking lot. He heard another voice he did not recognize.
“Sorry, Tam. I guess you felt kinda left out. I didn’t know how hot rocker boys were.”
“That’s okay.”
“You sure you don’t wanna stay with us? I know you don’t wanna go home.”
“Actually, I have an idea,” Tamara said.
Quinn strained to hear them.
“You don’t want your ma to know about Billy and I don’t want my Dad to know about ‘you-know-who’, so can you give me a ride over to Miranda’s?” She lowered her voice as she said the name. “Just tell Billy you’re dropping me off somewhere real quick?”
; “Yeah, alright. You’re gonna stay the night with him?”
“Well, what are you about to do with Billy?”
“Damn girl! Hush,” Megan said.
Both girls giggled.
“Alright,” Megan said. “But we swear right now, neither of us tells, okay? My mom would kill me if she knew I was with Billy Cranton. She hates his tattoos.”
“I swear it.”
A few seconds later he heard a car door slam.
“Sorry about that, baby. Was in the middle of negotiations.”
“So I heard.”
“Megan is gonna drop me off over there. Billy had to run in the store and do something for Stephen so she’s gonna run me over to you and then come back. Be there in a few minutes.”
She ended the call. He stared at the phone.
“This feels like a planned heist,” he said to himself.
He sat up and went to relieve himself and clean up a little before she arrived.
Less than five minutes later there was a faint knock at the door. He half stumbled to it, opening it a crack. She turned and waved to her friend in Billy’s big truck and came inside. He closed the door and bolted it behind her.
“And how long had you girls been planning this?”
He turned to her, his arms folded across his chest. She bit her lip and blushed, blinking at him.
“Since this afternoon,” she said in a tiny voice.
Quinn huffed and shook his head. He walked past her.
“Well, I don’t have spare blankets or you could sleep in the recliner.”
He noticed her pout out of the corner of his eye.
“But I kinda-”
“I guess you could take some towels and use them. There might be a spare sheet on that other mattress-”
“But Quinn-”
“Oh, what am I thinking. You could sleep in the little girl’s room.”
“Quinn?”
He continued walking, opening the door to the fancy girl’s room. He glanced back at her. She stood there leaning on one foot, her arms folded across her chest, a deep frown on her lips. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
“What did you expect, angel?”
She stared into his eyes, pain shattering her calm. She burst into tears and ran away from him, fumbling for her phone. She nearly dropped it twice as they entered the kitchen. He caught it the second time and held it away from her as she grabbed for it.
“What were you thinking, angel? What did you want me to do? I was sound asleep.”
“I don’t know.” She cried hard, her makeup running down her face. “I thought you’d be happy to see me.”
“I am happy to see you, I just-”
“I thought you would want to…” She covered her face with her hands and leaned against the front wall, bawling loudly.
He sighed, shaking his head. He went to her, wrapping his arms around her and walking her back down the hall, shutting off lights as they passed.
“You wanted me to wrap you up in my arms and make you feel good,” he said in a soft voice. “You wanted me to be as excited to see you as you are to see me. You wanted a night of wild abandon and passion since you’ve been forced to watch your best friend and your co-worker hump like wild rabbits in the back seat. Am I right so far?”
She sniffled.
“Yes,” she whispered. “It was stupid.”
“No, it wasn’t,” he said. “But I think I’ve been giving you entirely the wrong impression since we met.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighed as he led her into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
“Look,” he said. “I’m just gonna tell you the truth, okay?”
She sniffled and sat down on the bed as he pushed down on her shoulders.
“So far we haven’t talked much about me, other than the books, so I’m gonna explain something to you, alright?”
“Okay.”
He took her purse and laid it on the dresser.
“I’m married, angel,” he said.
She blinked at him, a little pain showing in her eyes.
“She kicked me out of the house,” he said. “We’re going through a separation which will eventually become a divorce.”
He crouched by her feet, removing her shoes gently, rubbing her legs as he did.
“I am not really in a good place emotionally right now, angel. And you are… well… You’re just beautiful. And I’m lonely. Trapped here. Working on the books.”
“But I-”
He reached up and pressed his fingers to her lips.
“Let me finish.”
She nodded and kissed his fingers. He smiled at that, tugging her to stand. He tugged at the bottom of her shirt, pulling it up over her head, revealing a surprisingly pretty bra. He cupped her for only a few seconds, squeezing gently.
“I have needs,” he said. “And here you are. Beautiful and willing.”
He wrapped his arms around her and she did the same to him, but his fingers fiddled with the hooks on her bra. He pulled it away and stood back again, staring into her eyes.
“You give yourself to me,” he whispered. “Willingly. Every part of you. And I know that.”
He tugged at her jeans, still staring into her eyes. He unbuttoned them and lowered the zipper.
“Just keep one thing to yourself, alright?”
He sat on the bed, turning her to stand in front of him. His fingers slipped up inside her panties and tugged them down very slowly, his eyes still on hers.
“Alright.” Her trembling whisper made a surge rush in his chest. “What?”
He removed his tank top, then stood and lowered his sweat pants standing bare in front of her.
“Your heart.”
He wrapped his arms around her, lowering her to her back on the bed.
***
The now familiar rumble of the morning train woke him up. He peered at the pillow beside him, seeing another scrawled note. This one was on a pink sticky note with crayon flowers printed across the bottom.
“I had to go to work. Thank you, baby.” After that, she drew a heart.
He groaned.
“I did try to explain,” he said with a long sigh. “But she’s still not getting it.”
He threw off the covers and padded, naked into the bathroom to start his day.
***
“They ran into the water, feeling the surge and rush of the current pressing them into the debris.
“I’m so tired. I don’t think I can do this.
“You have to Christina. Just hold on to me. I’ll get us out of this.”
Quinn paced slowly down the hall, dictating into his recorder, his eyes wide and staring but seeing something only in his mind.
“A crack above them made them both look up. A piece of the old oak tree snapped in half, still crackling with flames, dropping straight down at them. Christina gasped, but Reginald pushed her under the water, dragging her down with him as the huge thing splashed above them. He tugged her around the branches, snapping the ones in the way, swimming around and between them, coming up on the other side sucking in air. She clung to him.
“You saved me again, she said. At this rate, I’ll owe you everything I own.
“There’s only one thing I want.
“She watched his face. He smirked at her, both of them looking like drowned rats, covered in mud and twigs and soot.
“Your heart, he said.”
Quinn sighed. For a moment the events of the previous night played out in his head. He stopped pacing in the hall, staring toward the door to the bedroom.
Stupid kid. Good thing you didn’t get with Billy. At least I can’t get you pregnant.
He shook his head and turned back the way he had come. The room opposite him stared back, still closed up from the first time he explored it. He began dictating again and opened the door, a creak inspiring him to write of a second branch falling from the burning tree in the story.
As he spoke aloud, making the voic
es of the characters, describing the scene, he faltered a little. The odd room disturbed him in a way he couldn’t seem to put his finger on. He spun around, reaching up and patting the upper floor. It split the room at his eye level, though he had to stoop to see the entirety of the bottom half. He noticed between a pair of thick curtains a square-shaped shadow. He bent over and went to it, snatching up a plastic snorkel covered in dust that had been forgotten on the floor by the previous residents. He used the thing to carefully prod the curtain, hooking it and tugging it back.
A shadow box sat there. The same one he had seen when he arrived, in the bedroom, but this time, the bed was unmade and there were a few new objects inside. He held up his phone, turning on the flashlight app. A paper heart hung on the footboard of the bed, folded in half but flattened, a female figure with wings drawn inside, turning it into an angel, a rhinestone glued over the head like a halo. Three white lilies stood beside the bed, made out of cut paper and some sort of clay. A thick gold wedding band lay on the floor, a little away from the bed. A ribbon printed with music notes had been fitted like a banner across the back as if flailing in the wind. Something black laid on the bed, but even with the flashlight, he couldn’t quite make out what it was.
He backed away from it, wanting desperately to stand upright, his back aching at that angle. He stood full height and stretched.
Take a picture.
He turned on the camera on his phone and bent to go look at it again, but it was gone. He patted the curtain, searching the floor, but it had completely vanished.
His heart pounded. His eyes darted around him, throwing down the snorkel. In spite of the cool air, he broke into a sweat. He backed out of the room, closing the door. He stared at it a moment.
Lily. I have to tell Lily.
He dashed to his room, tearing off his working clothes.
***
He pulled into the church close to five in the evening, parking just outside the doors. He dashed in, looking around for anyone. Dan greeted him from the other side of the nave.
“Quinn!” He smiled, raising his hand. “What brings you back so soon?”
Lasting Shadows Page 11