He stepped into the room, wondering for an instant if he should remove his shoes.
She walked in beside him, the flowers he gave her carefully arranged in a crystal vase in her hands. She set it with great care on the coffee table and walked around sitting on the couch. He sat beside her.
“When the timer goes off the first full meal I have cooked in more than four years will be ready to eat,” she said. “I just hope we both survive the experience.”
She laughed a little nervously, blushing. He reached over and gently placed his hand on hers, patting twice, before pulling it away.
“I’m sure it will be lovely.”
“You are far too kind, Anni Que.”
He chuckled.
“You have to talk to me about this mysterious thing called being an author,” she said. “It seems to me you must live without ever seeing a thing around you and yet still observing more than anyone else.”
“That’s a good way to put it.”
A beep echoed from somewhere in the house.
“There it is,” she said. “Here’s hoping I don’t have to call you an ambulance.”
She stood and motioned for him to follow.
He fell into step behind her, walking down the short hall into the expansive kitchen. Cabinets surrounded the room from floor to ceiling, white with granite countertops and small tiles with tiny squares in green and blue glass, the occasional one a tiny mirror. The entire kitchen shined. Behind an elegant set of sliding oriental doors, stood an antique dining table and chairs with a centerpiece of soft white candles and flowers. While the deep wood finish of the table and chairs made a stark contrast to the lightness of everything else in the house, she had used white and cream dishes and linens to brighten it into the background.
Tiny meeps and peeps made him turn to the garden window over the oversized sink. As Lily prepared the serving dishes, behind her two tiny birds sang along, hopping and watching with some excitement. Their cage hung in the garden window, half over the sink, painted the same color as the windowpane, making it blend so well he smiled.
“Clever.”
She glanced at him and turned to the birds.
“Oh yes,” she said. “That was my husband’s idea. Years and years ago, after the nest emptied, we decided we needed a pet. But neither of us wanted anything too big, or too demanding. So we got finches. They only live about five years or so,” she said. “We’ve had about six of them over the years. Usually two at a time.”
She smiled at Quinn as he leaned in close, peering inside the cage. One was almost white, the other a pretty gray.
“I suspect their time is running out soon,” she said. “He’s been gone for five years. We bought the white one just before he passed away and the gray the year before. Makes Salt nearly six and Pepper almost seven.”
Quinn choked. He turned to her, his eyes bulging. She startled, jumping back away from him, dropping the bowl of steaming green peas she carried to the floor with a crash. He stumbled backward against the refrigerator. She stared at him, speechless, her face gone pale. She spoke, her voice a rasping whisper.
“What is it?”
He stumbled to the dining table, dropping into a chair, panting. She got him a glass of water and helped him sip it. He closed his eyes and tried to pull himself together.
“The shadow box. This afternoon. Oh my god.” He closed his eyes again. She reached out and touched his back, rubbing gently. “There were… two porcelain birds… white and gray.”
Lily’s hand dropped from his back. She sat in the chair beside him. He glanced up at her, seeing her face go shock white.
“Salt and pepper shakers,” he whispered. “They were salt and pepper shakers.”
She stared at him, her color returning slowly as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair, rubbing his face.
“I don’t understand what’s happening,” he whispered.
She stood again, walking to him. She reached down and curled her arm around his head, bending over and pressing her cheek to the top of his head.
“Calm down,” she said. “It’s alright. Maybe she’s trying to tell us something pleasant.”
He peered up at her. She touched his face, looking down into his eyes.
“This feeling frightens me, Lily,” he said. “Like everything is out of control.”
“Out of your control,” she said. “I get the feeling that’s something you don’t particularly like.”
He sighed, looking down and nodded.
“Gin says the same thing.”
She rubbed his back, making him forget the flood of fear for a moment. He soaked in her touch, letting himself slowly relax.
“I am so sorry, Lily,” he said. “Let me clean that up. I just panicked.”
“It’s perfectly understandable, Quinn.”
The two of them worked together, cleaning up the spilled food and the broken dish.
“I hope it’s all still warm enough,” she said as they finally sat at the table.
“I’m sure it’ll be wonderful,” he said. “Again, I apologize. Please forgive me for making a wreck of your first home-cooked meal in so long.”
She laughed.
“It’s alright Quinn. Just lie and tell me the dinner is the best you’ve ever eaten and we’ll call it even.”
He laughed with her then, the meeps and peeps from the birds nagging at the back of his head.
Salt and pepper. Oh my god.
Try to relax Quinn. Let it go. Enjoy every second you share with this woman, just in case Jack shows up and beats you to a pulp after you leave.
***
Aside from the incident, the meal was excellent. Lily ushered him out of the kitchen afterward, in spite of his offering to help with the dishes, and led him out to a small screened porch with a swing. She lit three fat candles smelling of vanilla. They sat together, listening to the night birds, the insects and the hush of the trees moving gently with a faintly cooler breeze. The creak of the swing felt somehow comforting. The silence between them did as well.
“Dinner was lovely,” he said. “Thank you for having me.”
“Thank you for coming. I’d love for you to come back again.”
He turned to her in the darkness, seeing her face glow orange in the candlelight, her eyes twinkling. Hesitantly, he reached out and lowered his hand to the back of hers. She turned hers over and clutched his hand. He squeezed. She squeezed back and he lifted it to his lips, kissing her skin, closing his eyes and just breathing on her. After a long quiet moment, he lowered her hand to his lap, rubbing her skin with his thumb. She slid closer to him, letting her head drop on his shoulder. He reached up with his right hand and touched her face. She turned her gaze up to him and he leaned in closer, pausing a few seconds to look into her eyes before he pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft but over quickly. He still stared into her face as she gazed down at their hands.
“It’s been a long time,” she whispered. “Too long, I think. I’m feeling things I haven’t felt in-”
“What are you feeling, Lily?”
She stared up into his eyes, her lips parting. She let go of his hand to reach up and touch his cheek. He kissed her palm and without letting another second pass, moved in close, wrapping his arms around her as he kissed her fully. She trembled but met him in kind, just as hungry, just as full of desire.
After a short while, she pressed on his chest.
“Let’s go inside.”
She pushed away from him, standing and blowing out the candles before reaching out and taking his hand. She led him inside and up the stairs. The master bedroom door yawned at him. He stared at the oversized bed with an elegant padded headboard matching the cream-colored linens. She stared at the bed as she entered and whispered to herself.
“Do I really want to do this?”
Quinn smiled a little at her words, but just stood there, waiting. His eyes met hers in the mirror over her dresser. He saw desire in her gaze. She turned to him, r
eaching up and touching his chest. He ran his hands over hers, lifting one and kissing her palm. He tugged her closer and wrapped her up in his arms, his mouth on hers, then her cheek, and her neck. She trembled at his touch, but something came over her. He felt her unbuttoning his shirt and took a deep breath, letting his hands caress her softness, squeezing gently.
***
They made love twice, the second time even more passionate than the first. He let her lead him to what she wanted him to do and in the end, he partook of her in more ways than he would have ever imagined the day they met. Without a single word said, they launched into petting and panting a third time, just as her house phone rang.
She gasped and rolled away from him, grabbing the headset on the bedside table.
“Hello? Yes.”
He gazed around the room as she switched on the lamp. Photos lined the top of the dresser, family pictures. He saw her husband presumably, in an older photo, wearing a military uniform, next to a wedding picture, one with her daughter as a child and finally one of the two of them together. His hair had gone shock white, his face looking so aged, so fast. He was a big, heavyset man, tall with a little bit of a slouch.
He glanced back at Lily, longing to run his fingers along her thigh, but instead, he studied her face, seeing the worry making lines on her forehead and between her eyes. After a few more minutes, she hung up the phone, staring at nothing.
“What’s the news?”
She glanced at him.
“I’m not sure, to be honest. She asked me to go there. The doctors say she’s recovering very well, but she has some depression and they are worried.”
“You need to go see her then.”
She frowned, nodding and taking his hand, squeezing tightly.
“I don’t want to,” she whispered. “But I promised.”
He moved in close to her.
“It’s alright,” he said. “I should get home and get to bed anyway.”
She placed her hands on his cheeks. Staring into his eyes.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “For making me feel like a woman again.”
He smirked, blushing.
“I’ll call you sometime tomorrow,” she said. “Once I know more.”
“Good.”
They got out of bed and dressed quickly. He kissed her goodbye at her car, watching her get in and pull out, speeding away. He meandered to his own car and got in, cruising out of the little neighborhood more relaxed than he had been in years.
***
He pulled into the driveway at the house, looking over at the old woman’s house first, but the porch was dark. He got out and closed up the car as quietly as possible, tiptoeing up to the front door.
“Quinn?”
Kate’s whisper made him jump, gasping. He spun around. She climbed up the steps, the bruise on her eye looking purple and horrible. He backed a little away from her.
“I’ve been trying to call you all night,” she said.
“I was out having dinner doing an interview for the book.”
He spun around, feeling rage bubbling up inside him. He unlocked the door. She followed him inside, touching his back.
“Jack is staying at the hotel,” she said. “It scares me, him being so close. He’s watching me. I had to get away.”
Quinn shook his head.
“Look if you don’t want to stay there-” He tugged out his wallet fumbling for the cash he had just gotten out of the ATM that day. “Get another room elsewhere.”
He held out the money to her. She frowned, a tear rolling down her cheek.
“But Quinn-”
He felt himself sag.
“Kate, I am tired. It’s been a long day. I’ve had some very odd things happen lately and tonight I just cannot take any more. Please. Take the money. Go get a room somewhere you can feel safe, alright?”
She frowned down at the money. He closed her hand over it, then turned her around pushing her to the door.
“This time, don’t tell me where you are,” he said. “Lay low. If you don’t want Jack to find you, you have to keep it a secret from everyone. Including me.”
She burst into loud sobs.
“But I don’t feel safe anywhere, Quinn.”
He groaned. She handed the money back to him.
“I’ll just sleep in my car.”
He let his arms drop.
“Where is your car?”
“In the grass behind the house,” she said. “I didn’t want Jack to find it. Got a tarp pulled over it.”
He closed his eyes a moment, letting his head drop to his chest. He yawned.
“I’m too tired to fight anymore.” He waved her away. “Do whatever you like.”
He marched from the room down the hall to the bedroom. He stripped, got ready and slipped into bed, trying to block out everything but his time with Lily.
***
He woke a little while later, stuck halfway between dreaming and awareness, feeling someone kissing and fondling him. After the distraction became too much he opened one eye, seeing Kate, nude and crawling over on top of him.
Chapter 11
A STEP TOO FAR
The little jingle of his phone alarm made Quinn groan, blinking awake. He fumbled for it as he heard the train rumble past, the whistle blaring. Movement on the bed beside him made him look back over his shoulder. Kate lay there, facing away from him.
Flashes of them making love the night before flooded his thoughts, but were soon washed away by the memory of Lily. He closed his eyes a moment as he thought about her.
She’s the one I want.
He opened his eyes staring up at the ceiling.
There was something about her, something so perfect. He knew he had to be careful with her like he had to be careful with Virginia all those years ago.
He lifted up his phone and checked his messages as Kate slept soundly. Tamara had sent ten messages since late the night before and early in the morning. The last one was a photo of her bare chest. Megan had dared her to send it. He chuckled a little.
Lily left two.
“Good morning, Quinn. Thank you for last night.”
And Carol was silent.
He put the phone down on the table and rolled over, looking at Kate’s bare back. He reached out and touched her, very slow and gentle, stroking her skin. She sighed. He smiled and moved in closer, kissing her shoulder, his hands wandering over her body.
He woke her as he entered her, but in his mind, he imagined Lily as the woman arching under him.
***
Kate got up to shower. Quinn laid there in the bed, looking at his phone. He texted Tamara back first.
“Hey, angel.”
“Hi, baby! How are you?”
“Beautiful selfie you sent me this morning. Thank you.”
She sent a blushing emoji.
“Megan dared me to do it.”
“Well then, Megan should send one too since she’s so bold.”
She sent a laughing face with tears.
“Brb”
He smirked.
He sent a text to Lily.
“Good morning, Lily. And I should be thanking you. It was a wonderful evening. I apologize again about the broken dish. I’d like to replace it. How is your friend?”
Kate walked in nude and dripping wet, drying her hair.
“I thought you might would join me,” she said.
“Sorry, babe,” he said. “Kinda tired. Wasn’t thinking.”
He got up, making sure to carry the phone with him and went into the bath, locking the door behind him.
***
He stepped out a short while later and dressed, hearing Kate down the hall. He smelled cooking.
“Making breakfast,” she said, kissing him as he walked in the kitchen. His workspace had been carefully organized. “You’ve been so busy. There’s so many notes.”
“I told you,” he said. “This place has enough true-life stories to fill an entire series of books. It’s
just amazing.”
He watched as she went back to the stove. The smell of bacon cooking filled his lungs.
“Where did you get bacon?”
She shrugged.
“Went up to the store while you were in the shower. Friendly young man up there, covered in tattoos.”
He smirked and sat at his laptop.
“You know I can’t work like this,” he said. She glanced back over her shoulder at him, a guilty expression on her face.
“I know,” she said. “I have to leave so you can get your work done.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I know you don’t want to go home, but I can give you some money for a hotel. Like I tried to last night.” He smirked, one brow raised.
She rolled her eyes, breaking into a smile and looked back at the stove. She fell into cooking a while as he began going over some of the last section he had written.
“You know,” she said. “I could do this. I could cook for you. Clean for you. Care for you. Stay out of your way while you write, but the rest of the time-”
“Kate…”
“I love you, Quinn.”
He groaned, shaking his head.
“We enjoy each other’s company,” she said. “We work well together. We fit so well. I just wish we could take it further.”
I don’t love you, Kate.
He couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud. He didn’t want to shatter what little they did share. He stared at the back of her head and thought about all the time they had spent together. All of it was wild, animal, and raw. Nothing but sex. All they really had was a common loneliness.
He kept quiet, pretending to work, but her presence made him feel a little sick.
***
“That was great,” he said.
He pushed the plate away, wiping his mouth with a napkin. She glowed with such confidence it made him a little nervous. The bruise on her eye looked even worse than it did during the night, but the cut had started to heal. She began washing the dishes, pushing him to his laptop.
Lasting Shadows Page 14