by Jiffy Kate
“So, what are you gonna do about it?” he asks.
“Honestly, I have no idea.” I think on it for a second and wonder briefly if it’s all about the chase. Maybe I want this girl so damn bad because I can’t have her? “I think when shit settles down, I’ll go back to the club and hook up with someone else, fuck her out of my system. I don’t have time for dates and shit anyway.”
“Yeah. Sure,” Sebastian says. “That usually works.” He doesn’t sound very convincing.
Normally, Sebastian is all for the no-strings-attached, no-questions-asked rules of the club. He firmly believes that life is just one big fuck fest. But something seems different with him. His tone makes me think he’s second-guessing his ways.
“What about you?” I ask, working up a sweat as I pull my body up to the next rock that’s jutting out.
“I don’t know, man.”
“Did you try to talk to her?” I ask, knowing this change in attitude has to be about the woman he fucked.
“I tried to abide by the rules, and I tried to stay cool, but fuck if watching her walk out wasn’t the hardest thing I’ve had to do. Actually, fuck that,” he says, grunting as he pulls his mammoth body up higher. “I went back the next night, trying to get a glimpse of her,” he admits, focused on the top of the wall we’re approaching.
I smirk, because I love the tables have been turned on his ass. Now he knows how it feels.
“I just went to have a few drinks and hang out. I didn’t even think she was there until I saw her walk past me with a guy in tow. I almost tackled the guy and carried her out of there over my shoulder, but somehow, I managed to stay glued to the barstool. She never even looked my way.” His voice sounds pained, and I feel for him. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d had to witness that. I’d probably have lost my shit.
“Fuck, Bash. That sucks.” I climb up one more rock, wondering how we went from two carefree dudes to schmucks who cry over girls. “You know what? Fuck ‘em. We don’t need that shit.”
“Yeah,” Sebastian grunts.
“So are you going back next week?”
“I don’t know,” he says as we reach the top. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we should fuck them out of our heads.”
I nod in agreement as we rappel back down the wall, but I have my doubts that going back to the club is the cure for what ails us. Somehow, a woman I know very little about has become all I think about. I’m not sure fucking someone else will get her out of my head. I’m not sure I could even get my dick up for someone else right now.
Normally, after exerting so much energy, I feel better, but as my feet hit the floor, I feel more worked up than I did when I got here.
Chapter 4
It’s been three weeks since I’ve been to the club, but Sebastian thinks it’s safe to come back. So, tonight’s the night, under strict orders to not talk to her if I see her.
I agreed to it, but only to pacify Sebastian. I can’t make any promises. I just need to see her and find out if she still has the same effect on me.
When I walk into the club, the buzz I felt the first night I came here is thick in the air. The lights are low. The music is pumping through the speakers. There are women dressed to kill and drinks flowing freely. Sebastian and I pre-gamed before coming tonight, hoping to loosen ourselves up enough to get a grip and get back up on that stage.
It’s the first step in Operation: Fuck the Women Out of Our Heads.
The lack of creativity in that shows exactly how screwed we are.
“Let’s do this,” Sebastian says as he tosses back another shot of 1800. I do the same and nod my head. I’m to the point where I don’t even need a chaser, which means I should be able to do this without reservation, but she’s still there in the back of my mind. I’ve let my eyes roam the room, searching her out, but that mess of brown hair is nowhere to be found.
Sebastian slaps my shoulder and then grabs on to my suit coat, pulling me toward the hallway where we line up to go on stage. We’ve already put our names down for the night.
“Good to see you boys back,” Cindy says, winking as she walks down the line, checking off her list. “Are we ready?”
Most of the guys are loud in their approval, but I notice Sebastian doesn’t say much. Neither do I. He turns around and gives me a pointed look before slipping his blindfold down over his eyes and allowing Cindy to walk him out on stage.
The crowd cheers as she introduces him and starts the bidding process.
My stomach is in my throat. I shouldn’t be nervous. It should be easier this time.
I continue to listen to the bidding as it goes higher and higher. Finally, a winner is announced and I’m a second from bolting back down the hallway when Cindy pops her head around the curtain and tells me I’m up. Turning to look at the exit, I think about it, but then say fuck it and slip the blindfold over my eyes, allowing her to lead me blindly onto the stage.
Even though my eyes are covered, I can still feel the heat from the bright lights, and a few beads of sweat pop up on my forehead.
“Let’s start the bidding at fifty dollars,” Cindy announces. This feels like the first time, but deep down, I know it’s not going to be anything like it. I had hoped that she might be here and bid on me, but I didn’t see her. Hell, she probably wouldn’t bid on me even if she were here. She was so pissed the last time I saw her, demanding for me to leave. Thinking of that night and the fire in her eyes causes my dick to twitch. I’m completely unaware of my surroundings, lost in my nerves and thoughts of her when Cindy announces a winner.
I swallow thickly as a hand grips my arm. The woman leading me doesn’t say anything as we walk, people brushing against me as we make our way through the crowd. Part of me thinks I would know if it was her if I could just hear her voice… or smell her. I can’t get those things out of my mind. They’re what I think about on a daily basis when I’m jacking off in the shower.
A door opens, and I’m pulled inside. The hand that was touching my arm begins to push my jacket off my shoulders, and I allow it. She pushes me back until my knees hit the bed, and I sit, reaching out to feel her.
The second her lips are on mine, I know they’re all wrong. My hands move up her legs to her hips, and they’re all wrong too. They’re too bony, not enough curves. Her smell is flowery, like roses, not the sweet and spicy I was hoping for. My breathing increases, and she takes it as a sign of arousal, but I’m slowly starting to freak the fuck out.
I don’t want to do this.
This is all wrong.
She’s all wrong.
She makes quick work of the buttons on my shirt but leaves it on and moves down to the button of my slacks, sliding the zipper down and going straight for my cock, which is confused as shit. It’s semi-hard due to the touch and excitement, but not as hard as it would be if it were her.
Her mouth assaults mine again, and I don’t return the kiss.
“What’s the matter, baby?” she asks, her voice too high-pitched, too nice. “Are you nervous? Lay back and let me make you feel good.”
I do as she tells me, but the second her mouth touches my cock, I push her off. “I can’t,” I say, ripping the blindfold off. When my eyes adjust, I see the startled look in the blue eyes looking back at me. She’s attractive. Her blonde hair is long and straight. She’d be a girl I would’ve hit on or been happy to take home a couple of months ago, but not now.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I just… this isn’t my scene.” I repeat the words that were said to me a few weeks ago, realizing they’re true.
She covers her bare breasts and her expression changes from startled to mad...or hurt. “Just go.” She looks away toward the door, and I take the opportunity to zip my pants back up and grab my jacket.
“Sorry,” I tell her once more before leaving the room. I know this is probably the last time I’ll be able to come here. There’s no way they’ll let me in after this. The only thing that pisses me off about that is I’ll probably n
ever see her again, but that’s probably for the best.
I’ve gotta move the fuck on.
When I’m finally outside and the night air hits me, I take a deep breath and rake my hand through my hair, trying to get a grip. I rode with Sebastian, so I walk to his Hummer and lean against the side of it, taking a minute to wrap my mind around what just happened.
I watch as a few people straggle in and out of the club. From the outside, it looks like a warehouse. There are no signs, nothing signifying what goes on inside those walls. It’s part of the attraction. It’s exclusive, elusive. Tons of people want to get on the list. It took Sebastian months to get me in, and now I’ve fucked it all up. It’s not like I was serious about it. It was just another adventure, something new to try.
I never expected to meet someone who would fuck my head up so bad.
“I didn’t think I’d see you back here.”
The familiar voice makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my head jerks toward the sound of gravel crunching. It’s her. She’s standing about ten feet away, not nearly close enough, and wearing a tight black dress and those fucking combat boots. Her hair is pulled up on one side, but it’s still messy. She has a backpack tossed over her shoulder. It’s kind of weird. Most girls carry purses, not big, bulky backpacks.
“I, uh…” I stumble over my words, not knowing what to say. “Yeah, well, here I am.”
It’s dark, but we’re standing close to a street light and it allows me to see a small smile on her lips. “Did you get what you came for?” she asks suggestively, nodding to the club entrance.
Her boldness and the fact she’s not demanding me to leave shocks me. “No,” I say, laughing harshly under my breath.
She tilts her head like she’s trying to figure me out. “Well, I’ve gotta go,” she says, looking down at the phone in her hand. “I’m running late.”
“Okay,” I say, nodding like an idiot, trying desperately to think of something intelligent to say but coming up blank. She makes me stupid. “Do you need a ride?”
“No.” She smirks and starts walking away. “But thanks,” she says over her shoulder. Before I can say anything else, she’s gone. She slips into a beat-up Volkswagen and cranks it up. The dress, the boots, the ride… Everything about her makes me want to know more.
As she’s driving off and I’m watching her taillights, I think of a million questions I should’ve asked her.
What’s your name?
Wanna go out sometime?
Can I call you?
But it’s too late, because she’s gone.
The fact she was there and was probably with some other man makes my fists clench. My jaw tightens as I try to get my temper in check, because right now, I want to walk back in there and beat the shit out of every guy who might’ve slept with her.
Why does she come here?
Where is she going?
So many questions and I probably won’t ever be able to ask them. I won’t be able to come back here anymore. Besides the fact that they probably wouldn’t let me in, I don’t think I can come here and see her and know she’s been or will be with someone else. It’ll kill me, or I’ll kill them.
“I wondered where you took off to,” Sebastian says, walking up to his truck. “I thought you’d be at the bar.” He unlocks the doors, and I get in without saying anything. His voice sounds almost as wrecked as I feel. We both sit in silence as he pulls out of the parking lot.
“That was fucked up,” Sebastian finally says, leaning back in his seat as he drives us away from the club.
“Tell me about it,” I mutter, rubbing my temples to try to rid my brain of the clusterfuck I’ve managed to get myself into.
“I took the blindfold off when we got to the room,” he says quietly. “I just had to know.”
“So, did you fuck her?” I ask, wondering if that’s what I should’ve done. Maybe it would’ve done the trick. Maybe the blonde would’ve rocked my world, and I wouldn’t be sitting here wondering how I can track down a gorgeous brunette when the only thing I know about her is that she’s beautiful and she drives a fucking Volkswagen.
“Yeah, but I wasn’t into it. She was taller, but her hair was jet black. She was decent. It was just…” He stops, running a hand through his hair and exhaling a deep breath. “I don’t know, man.”
“Wrong?” I ask.
“Yeah, she was just all wrong.”
“I know the feeling.” I’m weirdly relieved that he went through with it and is still messed up. The last thing I need is regret over fucking the wrong girl.
“What happened with you?”
“I bailed.”
“Shit.”
Sighing, I lean further back into the seat. “Yeah, probably won’t be on the list anymore.”
“Probably for the best.”
As I watch the city pass by, I wonder where she was going. What was she late getting to? Or who? “I guess so,” I say, resting my elbow on the door. “But I saw her.”
Sebastian’s head whips my way. “Really? Before we went on stage?”
“No, after. Just a few minutes before you walked out.”
Thinking back to seeing her standing there, looking like a fucking dark angel in her black dress and combat boots, I shift in my seat.
“Did you get her name?”
“No,” I tell him, getting more frustrated with myself for not getting my head out of my ass. “She said she was running late, and then she was gone.”
“Well shit, man. Now what the fuck are you gonna do?”
“I’m going to forget about her, and I won’t be going back to the club.”
Lie.
I might not go back to the club, but there is no way in hell I can forget about her.
Chapter 5
“Damn, you need to get laid,” Sebastian says, breathing heavily as he rides up beside me and stops. Taking his helmet off, he pulls out his water bottle from his backpack and wipes the sweat off his forehead. “I’m all for extreme sports, but you’re about to kill me out here today.”
“I just need a good burn to help clear my head.” I wipe the sweat off my brow and squirt some water in my mouth and then on my hair before restrapping my helmet. “Come on,” I tell him as I begin to ride up the hill. “Let’s hit a couple more trails before dark.”
On our way back down the last trail, I feel my back tire cut loose. In the dim light, I can’t tell where I’m going, but the next thing I know, me and my bike are barreling down a hill—separately. A rock gouges my leg and then my back. Something sharp hits the corner of my head, and then—
“Jude!” Sebastian yells. I must’ve blacked out for a minute. His voice is up above me, but it’s loud and alarmed. “Jude, damn it. Answer me!”
“Shut the fuck up,” I groan, rolling over and feeling a searing pain in my leg.
“You scared the shit out of me,” he says, sliding down the hill and stopping himself right above me. “Are you hurt?”
“My leg hurts like a son of a bitch.”
As Sebastian leans over to examine it, I can’t help but reach down and feel around. My shorts are torn, and there’s blood, but the sting in my leg keeps me from touching any more.
“That’s gonna need stitches,” he confirms, using the light on his helmet to get a better look. “We’ve gotta get you to the hospital.”
“I don’t know if I can walk back up the fucking hill.”
“Well, then, I guess I’ll carry your ass.”
“Fuck no!” Bracing myself on the ground and holding my injured leg up, I try to stand. Sebastian’s arms wrap around my waist, and he hoists me the rest of the way, letting me support my weight on him. Somehow, the two of us manage to climb back up the hill.
“You just had to do another trail,” Sebastian says as we reach the top, both of us kneeling on the ground to catch our breath.
“Shut up.”
“I’m gonna help you the rest of the way down the hill to the Hummer, and I’ll
come back for the bikes.”
“Mine’s probably beat to shit.”
“I’m sure it’s salvageable.”
Half an hour later, Sebastian makes it back to the truck with the bikes and loads them up. My leg is throbbing so bad I can feel my heart beating in it. Before he’d gone back for the bikes, Sebastian tied an old t-shirt around the cut to keep blood from getting everywhere.
“What hospital?” he asks, driving back out to the main road.
“Whatever’s closest.”
He hauls ass and gets us to Mercy Hospital around ten. It’s late, but the emergency room is packed. It must be a full moon or some shit, because there are crying babies everywhere and a pregnant lady making laps. There’s also a dude over in the corner with a broken nose and a busted lip and what looks like a split above each eye.
“Wonder what the other guy looks like?” I smirk, pointing over to him.
“No shit. Dude got his ass handed to him.”
“Harris,” a nurse in blue scrubs finally calls from the ER entrance. Sebastian helps me up and lets me lean on him as we make our way back. The nurse points to a bed and pulls the drape closed, informing us a nurse will be with us shortly.
I’ve only been in an emergency room twice before—once when I was younger and had poison ivy so bad my eyes were swollen shut, and the other time when I passed out and broke my nose. My mom insisted on me being checked out, even though there isn’t shit they can do about a broken nose. But I’m surprised I haven’t ended up in the ER more than that. As much as Sebastian and I push the limits with our extracurricular activities, you’d think we’d be frequent fliers.
“I fucking hate hospitals,” Sebastian says, grimacing. “The smell makes me feel sick.”