“No more talking. I’m leaving.” There was finality in her tone I didn’t care for at all. She turned and started to limp away, but the crutch hampered her mobility, and the uneven ground slowed her down.
Without giving much thought to my next actions, I reached out and caught hold of her crutch, pulling her in my direction. When she started to twist sideways, cursing my name the entire time, I locked an arm around her waist, catching her small frame easily against mine and lifting her wiggling, squirming body into my arms with ease. I started toward my SUV like I was carrying her over the threshold. I could hear Kody giggling from somewhere behind me, but I refused to stop my forward momentum. If I paused, I would have to consider just how inappropriately I was manhandling a civilian in broad daylight. I was always so careful to do things by the book, but right now no words were going to tell me how I should deal with Aspen Barlow once and for all.
“What are you doing?” Her voice was sharp, but she stopped trying to escape the closer we got to my vehicle. I made sure to wince and play up the fact my busted up shoulder wasn’t exactly up to sweeping a woman off her feet at the moment. Anything to get her where I wanted her. Anything to get rid of the foreign feeling at the center of my chest when I thought about her disappearing from Loveless when there was so damn much to settle between the two of us.
I shook my head, wishing I had my hat to hide under. I hated feeling exposed, and she was the last person I needed picking through all my confused and conflicting emotions.
“Taking you back to the house. Keeping you safe. Figuring out how you got under my skin so easily. Listening to what you have to say about the past, and actually hearing it for once.” I looked down at her and arched an eyebrow. “Take your pick.”
It took some juggling to get her into the front seat without banging any of her hurt bits and pieces. She let me strap her into the passenger seat, dark eyes watching me like a hawk every step of the way.
I braced an arm on the roof and leaned down. Our faces were so close our noses almost touched. “I’m far from perfect, Aspen. I know I screwed up back then. I still screw up. I’m going to screw up in the future. Back then I was in the middle of losing everything, my father was a nightmare I couldn’t get out from under, and all I wanted was to go back to the beginning and start all over. I’m not surprised Becca took something out of context and blew it out of porportion. I am shocked you sat on something you thought was so damning and critical all these years. I couldn’t see much beyond my own miserable circumstances for so long. But I see it all so clearly now. I see you now.”
I heard her gulp, but her impossibly long, soot-colored lashes fell, covering her reaction to my words.
“What do you see?”
I pushed off the car, satisfied she wasn’t going to run, or limp, away as soon as I walked away. “I’m not entirely sure. But I know I can’t look away.” I cleared my throat. “Talk to me, and after everything is on the table, if you still want to catch a plane I’ll take you to the airport.”
It took a minute, but she eventually nodded in silent agreement. Satisfaction spiraled inside my chest, and I found myself biting back a grin as I rounded the SUV to the driver’s side. Maybe my kid was right, and I had to move forward for my view to finally change. I’d been staring at my past for so long it had all started to blur together in one big void of regret. But I could say for certain when I got a good look at the future I was facing, there was a small, dark-haired woman standing directly in the center of it.
Chapter 13
Aspen
The ride to Case’s house was one seriously quiet and intense affair.
It also took a lot longer than it should have because Case insisted on following Kody home, and then driving the most roundabout way back to his house possible to make sure we weren’t being followed. The precaution seemed excessive until I remembered being tossed around like a ragdoll in Kody’s Jeep as the SUV slammed into us over and over again. I wasn’t sure when my life turned into a knockoff of a James Patterson novel, but I was at my limit with how much I could take.
Other than asking how the person who tried to run us off the road would know where to find me and Kody, Case hardly spoke. Even when I told him I had gone by my house and met with an insurance adjuster—meaning it was more than likely whoever wanted my head on a plater was watching my house and waiting for me to put in an appearance—he did nothing more than offer up a low grunt for a response. In hindsight, had I been thinking clearly and not acting out of panic and unchecked emotion, I would’ve realized the only two places someone would be expecting me to make an appearance were my office and my house. They were the two main locations I should’ve avoided while I was in hiding. I was supposed to be smarter than that. But something about the man sitting next to me sent my common sense on vacation. I’d never really been able to think clearly around Case, and now that there was a new level of intimacy added to our dynamic, I felt like I could barely function at all.
Case Lawton was hell on a girl’s heart and on her judgment. Both of mine were taking a beating lately.
When we finally pulled into the garage, I allowed him to help me into his house. I hurt pretty much all over, and I was due for a major adrenaline crash. I didn’t argue when he guided me in the direction of the guest bedroom. Sure there were better places to finish hashing out differing views of the past, but lying down so I could elevate my abused ankle sounded absolutely awesome. I wasn’t sure how much fight I had left either. Foolishly, I thought my being on the bed would automatically create some distance between me and Case. After last night, I was certain he was going to make it a point to keep a respectable distance between us, so there was no getting the wrong idea or getting close enough to touch.
He surprised me when he pried his boots off and climbed up onto the bed and stretched out alongside of me. He laced his fingers together behind his head and looked up at the ceiling, as if he had all the time in the world and no clue that he was sending my system into overdrive.
“Why?” I felt the deep rumble of his voice all the way down to my bones. “Why couldn’t you tell me? Why did it have to be you who acted as the scapegoat all these years? Why risk your career and your convictions for me? It can’t simply be because you had a little crush on me in high school.”
I turned my head slightly so I could look at his chiseled profile. His jaw was locked, and a muscle in his cheek fluttered occasionally, letting me know he was clenching his teeth. I didn’t have an answer that would make him any less rigid or tense.
I used my free fingers to toy with the bandage on my burned hand. The skin underneath was beginning to get itchy, so I hoped it was a sign it was starting to heal.
“It had to be me because if anyone else represented her, they would have let her pull every dirty trick in the book, and you would have lost any right to see your son. Becca was prepared to ruthlessly ruin you. And after you started working for your father, it’s like people in this town wanted to see you fail. I knew her story would sound believable because of who your father is. So I did what needed to be done because I wanted what was best for your son. At the end of the day, keeping children safe—keeping Hayes safe—is the most important part of my job. And Hayes needed you around—not potentially locked up, unable to fight for custody down the line.” I heard his teeth grind together and winced. “I was on your side. Still am. And it wasn’t as simple as a crush. You were the only person who ever reached out to me, made me feel welcome. You have no idea how powerful that was to a girl who always felt all alone. You meant the world to me back then.”
And he had grown to mean an awful lot to me now. I always seemed to want more than he was capable of giving. “Aside from losing Hayes, what’s always been your biggest fear in life?” The question was quiet because I knew the answer, even though I didn’t know him as well as I wanted to. I was pretty sure everyone who spent any significant time in Loveless, Texas, knew the answer.
Case tilted his chin and looked down at me
. Shadows of something powerful and profound moved across his eyes. They looked like angry storm clouds rolling in to ruin an otherwise beautiful day. I hated the way the blue in his eyes dimmed when he was reminded of the man who he never wanted to define him. The man he spent a lifetime trying his best to defy.
“My biggest fear has always been being like my father. I’ve always been terrified of being someone my family is scared of. I never wanted to be a man people feared rather than respected. I’ve worked my ass off to undo all the damage Dad’s done to this town, to my siblings, to our name.” He released his hands and dragged a wide palm over his face. “If my father hadn’t threatened that judge, things would’ve been different. It’s as much his fault as it is Becca’s I lost so much time with my kid when he was growing up.”
It was the first time he openly admitted I wasn’t the cause of the separation. Progress, but he really had no idea how tricky and manipulative his ex-wife could be.
“No. If the judge even hinted that he was going to relent and give you any leeway, Becca would’ve found a way to sabotage the ruling. She was determined to win and to punish you by any means necessary. She would have forced me to bring up the cover-up and the accusations against you. She would have cheated and conned everyone in that courtroom. She knew how much you worried people believed you were like Conrad, and she knew people would believe the worst. Even if she didn’t have proof you were involved in the tampering of evidence, she would’ve put it out there just to trash your reputation. You would’ve never been able to run for sheriff. And that judge would have given you no chance to appeal the original custody ruling. I don’t think you know how deeply she resented you. You ruined all her plans, Case.”
He shifted so that he was also stretched out on his side. The new position brought his handsome face really close to mine. The ends of our noses almost touched, and I could count all his long, dark eyelashes. They were really pretty on such a rugged, masculine face.
“Yeah, well she ruined my plans long before I ruined hers, so we should’ve been even. The only reason I stayed in this town and anywhere near my father was because of Becca and Hayes. I gave up my future for her and tried to give her the life she wanted, even though I knew good and well she got pregnant on purpose. She was always worried once I left for college I would meet someone else, someone better. I really did try and make her happy, until she made it clear nothing I ever did was going to be good enough.”
Without thinking about it, I lifted my bandaged hand and used the tips of my fingers to touch the fierce frown painted on his lips. His mouth was another feature that was unexpectedly soft and pretty when he wasn’t using it to scold or scowl.
“She did whatever she had to so you wouldn’t leave. But you ended up leaving anyway.” I felt like I was pointing out the obvious, but Case looked stunned.
“I didn’t leave. I got deployed. That’s a huge difference.” His breath was warm against the tips of my fingers, and it felt like I could almost touch the frustration in his words.
“Not to someone as selfish and spoiled as your ex. The baby was a means to an end and all of a sudden she’s stuck raising Hayes alone while the entire town bemoans their golden boy joining the army instead of the NFL. She loved being the center of attention, but not when it painted her in a bad light. She couldn’t wait to turn all of that negativity and disapproval back on you, but she had to bide her time. No one was going to hate a hero, but they had no problem being disgusted by another dirty cop following Conrad Lawton’s lead.”
His eyes narrowed, and it felt like the space between us did as well. I wasn’t aware I’d been leaning closer and closer the longer we talked, but our knees were touching, and my chest was almost flattened against his.
“I was never a dirty cop. My father never had that much influence over me. I’ve always gone out of my way to do the right thing. I never wanted to let that woman’s husband go. I was going to bring him back in as soon as I found a doctor not scared of my father to confirm the initial examination results. I just needed some time to undo the damage my dad did, but I never got to because the girl took off. I promised her I would protect her, but she didn’t believe me, because my dad destroyed her trust. I never blamed her for running, but I also never got an opportunity to make things right.” Suddenly he lifted the hand not holding his head and slide his fingers through the hair at my temple. It was a light caress, but it sent goose bumps racing across my entire body. “Aside from Hayes, me not taking after my father is the one thing in life I know I can take pride in. I did everything I could after she left to prove my dad was the one behind the missing evidence, including getting internal affairs involved. No one was ever able to prove anything. The man has always been a better criminal than cop.”
I sighed, leaned into the gentle stroking and let my eyes fall closed. It felt really good, soothing even. Not that my pounding heart and tightening nipples could tell the difference between a touch meant to comfort and one meant to arouse. I was torn between settling into the soft care and moving closer as desire started to thrum low and hard in my belly.
“You’re a good man, Case. I stand by that, which is ultimately why it was me standing between you and her all these years, and why I never said anything. I don’t regret it, even though it meant you were bound to hate me. I would do it all over again if I had to.”
“Maybe this is too little, too late, but I’m sorry. Sorry I was a clueless kid in high school. Sorry you had to deal with Becca and her games. Sorry you had to carry that secret around for so long. Sorry I had any part in you questioning whether or not you were doing the right thing. You really are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I like respecting you a whole lot more than hating you, Aspen. Thank you for doing what you did…for me and for Hayes.” He was very quiet for a long time, but his fingers never stopped moving through my hair. When he spoke his lips almost moved against mine. “Not so sure you would be saying I’m a good man if you knew all the bad thoughts going through my head at the moment. You’ve always made me feel too much, Aspen, but I never thought you would be the woman I was willing to do just about anything to get into bed. But here we are.”
My eyes flew open, and a small gasp escaped when I felt the tip of his tongue dart out to trace the small dip in my upper lip. “What exactly are you willing do to, Case?” I had to hear him say it before we moved any further.
The wet slide of his tongue moved to my lower lip, and I inhaled sharply as his knee suddenly pressed its way between my legs. My nipples hardened into aching points against the unyielding wall of his chest, and the fingers resting against his cheek started to quiver.
“I’m going to let go. Of the past. Of the blame. Of the mistakes I made. I’ve needed a new perspective for a long time. Wish I could’ve found it on my own, but sometimes you need a shove in the right direction. I’m going to thank you for everything you sacrificed for me in a way neither one of us will be able to forget.”
I wanted to tell him no one needed to push me toward him, I’d been leaning that way since I was a lovestruck teenager, but I lost the ability to speak when his denim-clad thigh slid along mine, only stopping when it was pressed against the apex of my thighs. My entire body tightened and pressed closer to his. I felt him harden against the lower part of my stomach, and I could see the rapid flutter of his pulse at the base of his neck as we got as close as we could.
This time there was no question he was the one who initiated the kiss. He was the one moving things forward. He was the one taking us away from where we’d always been, to someplace entirely new.
His lips were insistent against mine. His tongue demanded immediate entry to my mouth. I yielded and practically melted against him when his tongue twisted and danced skillfully around mine. The hand he had to play with my hair moved to the side of my face. His thumb traced the line of my cheekbone, and he used his index finger to carefully outline the outside of my ear. Holy hell, how did he know how sensitive and responsive my damn ears were? I
felt like I was going to come right out of my skin when he repeated the gesture as he simultaneously used the edge of his teeth on my lower lip.
My legs shifted anxiously against his, all my soft places going warm and wet when I felt his body respond to mine. I could feel the weight of his cock pressing against his jeans as our hips collided and rubbed deliciously together. Case was no longer keeping his desire in check, and when let off the leash it was a big, consuming thing.
He used his weight to roll me over on my back. He planted one beefy forearm next to my head and sent his other on an exploration of my body. I wrapped my good arm around the back of his neck to keep his mouth on mine as I wantonly lifted my hips into the solid ridge filling out the front of his jeans. I already knew he was impressive. But I wanted to feel the fullness in someplace other than my hands. There was a steady ache throbbing between my legs that was too persistent to ignore.
Case managed to get my shorts open and my shirt halfway off without breaking the kiss. I had to let him go so he could strip the brightly colored fabric all the way off. My bra followed quickly after. Before I could feel shy or freak out over the fact I was half naked in bed with the guy I’d pined over for most of my life, his mouth closed over one of my nipples, and all coherent thought fled. The heat from his mouth and the drag of his teeth over the tender peak made my eyes roll back in my head. The intimate contact also had my fumbling fingers wrestling clumsily with the buttons on his shirt. It took triple the time it normally would’ve to expose his broad, thickly muscled chest, but when we were skin to skin, the struggle was totally worth it.
I hooked my good leg around his lean hips and rocked against him, searching for the kind of friction that would make my head spin and bring about some kind of a relief to the pulse thudding in all my most sensitive places.
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