by Monica James
“What?” I gasp, angered because…he’s right. Not in the way he has to so many others, but I can’t deny being a part of his demise doesn’t sit right with me. And I know what that says about me.
I hang my head in shame.
“That son of a bitch!” Saint turns around, and with a roar, he punches a hole straight through the wall. His fist disintegrates the plaster like it’s made of mere paper.
Sara yelps while I rush forward, stopping him from doing more damage. “Stop it!” I grip his forearm, begging him to stop. “It’s not like that.”
He shrugs me off, his fury burning me as he turns around quickly. “It’s exactly like that, but listen to me, aнгел.” He lowers his face to mine, his tepid breath blowing the hair from my cheeks. “I will never allow him to destroy you too. I will do everything in my power to get you the fuck out of here. Even if you are kicking and screaming, you will be leaving here. Tonight. We clear?”
I stand my ground, gritting my teeth in frustration. “I’m not Zoey.”
He inhales sharply, closing his eyes, appearing to ask for mercy from above. When he opens them, I gasp because the color consumes every inch of me. “I said are. We. Clear?”
Fuck him and his infuriating need to protect me. This is an argument I have lost. No matter what I say, Saint will ensure tonight’s plan will go off without a hitch. “We’re clear.”
And that’s what defeat sounds like.
“Good. Now go back downstairs and have your customary dance.”
My eyes widen. How did he know?
“Oh yes, I know all his tricks. Don’t forget who made me.” Nothing but bitterness reflects in his tone as he stands before me broken.
Something ugly is transpiring between us. Saint was my safe place, but now, he can’t stand to look at me.
“Saint—”
But he doesn’t let me finish.
With a ferocious craving, he presses his lips to my forehead, a tremble to his touch. “You can hate me later, but now…just obey me. Please.”
A tear trickles down my cheek. His admission reveals he doesn’t grasp my true feelings for him. “Okay,” I whisper. “But I will never hate you. I can’t.”
He inhales sharply, but I pull away, turning toward the door as I fix my mask. I smile at Sara, unable to say anything because there are no words to thank her for what she’s doing. I open the door coolly and make my way down the hallway, embracing my freedom, whatever the consequences may be.
Day 74
ALL I CAN think about is Saint. I have hurt him in unimaginable ways. He sees my apprehension as weakness, but it’s not. Killing Alek won’t make the world a better place because there are three far crueler monsters ready to take his place.
However, it will make the world a better place for Saint because I understand this is about redemption for him. He can’t move on until he ends this chapter in his life once and for all.
So what do I do?
Do I turn a blind eye and allow a man shadowed in darkness, but who has flickers of light shining through, die? My father would have said that everyone deserves a second chance. No matter what one has done, there is always room for forgiveness. If they are trying to change the path they are on, then how can I judge him?
If anyone should be judged, it should be me.
“May I have this dance?” Alek extends his hand, looking more than honored.
We are standing in the middle of the ballroom, the string quartet ready to commence. However, when I stand frozen, hearing whispers echo around the room, sweat begins to collect on his brow. I have never seen him nervous before.
Something catches my attention from the corner of my eye, and I know what or, rather, who it is. Remembering the heartbreak in Saint’s tone, I slip my hand into Alek’s, cementing another step to my doom.
The music plays right away, and I’m certain I can hear a relieved sigh. He places his hand on my lower back, drawing me close with a smile. “I’ll try not to step on your toes,” I jibe, needing to say something lighthearted before I burst into more tears.
Alek smiles as he leads us into a slow dance.
As everyone stares, and some whisper behind their hands, I wonder what they see. I still don’t have the guts to look at Saint because after our confrontation, I don’t know what to think. He’s angry with me, and he has every right. But I can’t help how I feel.
I can’t take the life of another, no matter what they’ve done. I just can’t.
“You seem distracted,” Alek says, his cheek almost pressed to mine as he lowers his face.
“I do?” I need to be on my A game because the next few minutes are vital.
“I understand this is all a little much. You are most welcome to go upstairs and rest after we’re done here.”
“What about your poker game?”
Alek’s body grows tense. “I wish I’d never agreed. But you’re right. I should get it over with.”
The question lingers about when he intends to take me upstairs.
“Are you nervous?” he asks, in sync with my thoughts.
I shrug, unable to look at him.
“I…” His pause has me lifting my eyes. I see his uneasiness, which is ironic, considering I’m the one who should be nervous. “I wish it could be different.”
“So do I.” And I mean that in every sense of the word.
“You make me…happy, Willow.” I look for any signs of deception, to confirm what Saint said, but I don’t see any. He appears genuine, which makes what I know all the worse.
I wet my dry lips, overshadowed by guilt.
“It’s something I haven’t felt in a very long time. I can see why Saint was so spellbound by you.”
Hearing his name brings on a sadness that crushes my spirit. I don’t see the point in denying it because, once upon a time, he was. We were captivated by the other. But now, after all that’s been said and done, Saint believes I have fallen victim to Alek’s charms.
Peering into Alek’s eyes, I know what I must do because all is fair in love and war, and with Saint, the two go hand in hand.
“I wish you would have ruled with your kindness because I know it’s there.”
He recoils slightly, appearing stunned by my revelation. But that isn’t possible. It’s too late for him. And no matter how guilty I feel, I have to make a choice.
When I find Saint across the room with Oscar by his side, there was only ever one choice to make, and that is Saint.
He will always be my first.
With eyes still locked on his, I whisper, “How about you get that game out of the way, and then we can go upstairs?”
Time stands still for so many reasons.
For Alek, his mouth parts, clearly stunned by my openness and acceptance of him into my bed. And for me, I just condemned a man to death. I can deal with the consequences later because now, it’s time I claimed back my life and deal with whatever the aftermath might be.
“Yes,” he exclaims, leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on my cheek.
Saint looks ready to tear the flesh from Alek’s bones, but when I nod subtly, everything changes. A wave of what appears to be relief washes over him. The black of his eyes slowly transforms into their mesmerizing green, and what I see confirms I made the right choice.
Saint looks…happy.
If presenting Alek to him will erase his darkness, then it’s what I have to do. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make because this is as close to freedom as I will ever get. For every action, there is a consequence, and I will have to live with that every single day.
But I’m ready.
The music comes to an end, and Alek twirls me around one final time. When we come to a stop, he pulls away and bows. It’s all very gallant, which makes me feel like an even bigger villain.
“Come.” He takes my hand and escorts me from the room, stopping to speak to a few masked guests along the way.
Saint never strays too far and knowing he’s close by settles my n
erves. Oscar gestures to Astra and Borya that things are about to start. It sickens me that everyone has a role to play in this twisted game.
Alek notices his three “friends” gathering, and without a word, he leads the way through the crowd who are none the wiser to what is about to unfold. We walk down the hallway, and only the stabbing of Astra’s heels reveals they’re all following in hot pursuit.
My hand is shaking in Alek’s. I can’t help it. He draws it to his lips and kisses the back of it. “It’s okay,” he assures, but it’s really not.
Once we get to wherever they’re playing this game, I would have played a part in Alek’s demise. My father would be so ashamed of me. The cross at my throat burns, a psychological response to what’s thrashing around my mind.
Alek opens the door to the den, where I first met Oscar. Stepping inside, I’m instantly assaulted with images of naked women and filthy men. Alek was one of those men. I need to remember that when he kisses me on the forehead and leads me to sit on a small sofa in the corner of the room.
Thankfully, it’s not the same one Zoey sprawled out on as nameless men fucked her senseless.
The door closes, cementing the fact this is really happening. Saint follows Oscar, but when he makes a beeline to stand near me, Oscar shakes his head, his vile eyes glowing.
“Come sit with me. You’re my good luck charm, after all.” He pointedly looks at me as he rubs over Saint’s crotch.
Saint stands unflinching, playing his part, while I swallow down my disgust at Saint being subjected to this because of me.
Astra and Borya are oblivious to Oscar’s perversion because when they take a seat at the poker table, it’s clear they only have one thing in mind. “Shall we start? I’m sure you want this over with as soon as possible.”
Borya’s eagerness has me shuffling in my seat, causing the leather beneath me to creak.
“Yes,” Alek says, unbuttoning his suit jacket as he takes a seat at the table. “I do. Shall we set the rules?”
Astra makes a fuss as she arranges her layers of tulle so she can sit, and when she does, she appears like a queen, sitting on her throne. “Oh, Aleksei. You are such a stickler for the rules lately. But only when it suits you.”
I gulp.
“The necklace if I win,” he says, ignoring her quip. “And if I lose?”
Astra turns to look at Borya who sits at her right. “If you lose,” she purrs. “You give us the name of your new contact.”
Alek remains cool, but the tic under his eye reveals his shock.
“I liked Chow, but then you had to go and…” She accentuates her point with a wave of her hand in the air. “Without our consent or knowledge.”
And now I understand. They are angry with Alek for making a decision without consulting them first. And if that wasn’t enough of an insult, he has not yet told them who the new supplier is.
“Enough,” Alek snarls, setting the mood. “Fine. Your terms are accepted.”
He reaches for the deck of cards and shuffles them with skill as he glares at Astra. Because they aren’t playing for money, the chips are pushed aside. Oscar finally leaves Saint alone and joins his comrades.
Saint stands between me and the table, and I know he’s done so with intent. They will have to go through him before they get to me.
Surely, Alek can sense something is amiss. It’s fairly obvious it’s three against one. But when he focuses on the rock around Astra’s neck, it seems to blind him and he throws good sense to the wind. He deals the cards, and the game soon begins.
I don’t know anything about poker, but this is just a ruse. The real game isn’t cards. It’s a gamble of Alek’s life.
“So,” Borya says, his accent rolling freely, “business has been well?”
“What do you think? You get paid at the end of each month. You know it has been,” Alek snaps, arranging his cards in his hands.
“Yes, we have all been most fortunate, but Aleksei, we are very disappointed in you not sharing with us. We are your closest friends, after all. We all have a role to play in this business to see it succeed. Astra and I cover our tracks while Oscar has the global connections we need. We are so good at what we do because we have worked together for so long. We all play a part in this well-oiled machine, but it seems you think you’re suddenly better than us.”
So it appears the four of them “work” together to make sure their bank accounts are never dry. But being the right-hand men won’t cut it for them anymore.
The already tense air turns thicker, making it harder to breathe.
“You have known Astra and me since we were what…?” Borya asks, but he knows.
“I’m not here for a trip down memory lane,” he replies, placing a card onto the table.
“Don’t be like that, Aleksei. Your dear, sweet mother would be most disappointed in your manners.”
Alek’s shoulders rise, and if he had hackles, they’d be standing on end.
Astra’s comment has me wondering just how long they have known one another. Because for her to mention his mother, it’s evident they’ve met before. And what happened to Alek’s mom?
“This change is unlike you,” she continues, playing a hand. “Is it because you’re trying to impress the American?”
“She has a name,” Alek snaps, peering at her over his cards.
“Oh, yes, how could I forget. It’s all I’ve been hearing about as of late.”
This has both Alek and me sitting to attention.
“Your little speech was so…touching. Anyone would think you meant it.”
“I did,” Alek replies while Saint clenches his fists behind his back.
Astra laughs bitterly. “I’ve seen it all before. You’ll grow bored with her like you always do. But until then, how about we all have some fun with her?”
Saint looks over his shoulder, nodding that it’s time.
“I-I have to use the bathroom.” I stand quickly, my legs trembling.
Alek places his cards face down on the table and removes his mask slowly. His face is one of pure fury. “How dare you come into my home and disrespect me.”
Astra doesn’t flinch.
Oscar, however, takes the bait. “That’s rich, coming from you, as you have no qualms coming into other people’s homes and disrespecting them.”
“What are you talking about?”
Oscar throws his cards on the table, pushing back his chair with force as he stands. “It’s okay for you to take as you please. But when someone else does, it’s punishable.”
“You have all gone mad!” Alek cries, shaking his head in disbelief.
“You came into my home, shaming me, and now, it’s time we do the same.”
And there it is. The real reason we’re here.
“Go!” Saint whispers, his eyes urgent. But when I take a step toward the door, Borya stands coolly, reaching into his pocket and producing a gun.
“We’re not done yet.” He trains the gun on me.
I stop dead in my tracks, raising my trembling hands in surrender.
Alek comes to a quick stand, his body vibrating in absolute wrath. “How did you get that in here? Past security?”
My gaze swings to Saint for answers. Is this part of his plan? But when he interlocks his hands behind his nape, looking at this shitstorm unfold, I know he’s just as surprised as I am.
Astra tsks him as she leans back in her seat, enjoying the show. “Your newfound…emotional tie to that girl makes you weak. Your men can see it. We all can. You’re losing power. Your loyalty is slipping. Your guards betrayed you because they can see you’ve gone soft. They need a new leader, one who isn’t afraid of getting their hands dirty.”
“And who might that be, Astra?” he snarls, curling his lip in disgust.
Finally, she rises, graceful and composed. She runs a hand through her hair, smiling. “Why me, of course.”
When Borya stands by her, his gun still aimed at me, she adds, “And my king.”
&
nbsp; “Over my dead body.”
“That can be arranged,” Borya says, watching closely as Astra lifts the hem of her dress and retrieves a gun from the leather holster attached to her thigh. She points it at Alek.
“So this game of poker was just a ploy to get me alone? Is that it?”
“Yes and no,” she replies as I watch on in horror. “You were always going to lose this game, Aleksei. But the rules have changed. We want the name of your supplier. You give that to us, and we will let you and your little pet live.”
“And if I don’t?”
Borya’s grin is malevolent as he peers at me. “Then we get creative.”
“We don’t want to kill you, Aleksei. We have been friends since we were ten years old. But watching you…pine after that girl is an embarrassment to us all. You show weakness, and we can’t have that.” There is no question Astra is the ring leader. I wonder if she was always this way.
“And what do you get out of all of this?” Alek focuses on Oscar, who is standing back and watching the show.
“A say in how we run things, of course. Oh,” he adds casually, “and your aнгел.”
Saint advances forward, gripping Oscar by the arm and spinning him around fiercely. “That wasn’t part of the deal. She was to go, unharmed.”
Oscar smirks, running his fingers over Saint’s grip. “I lied. Besides, I like her. I like watching what she does to you.”
If it weren’t for me watching this unfold, then I wouldn’t believe it. But here I stand, witness to such atrocities, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.
Alek narrows his eyes, staring at the man he believed to be Dominic. “Saint?” he gasps, a wave of surprise passing over him.
With his ruse up, Saint rips off his mask and drops it by his feet. He meets Alek’s eyes, unbending. “Hello, Alek.”
Alek stumbles backward, running a hand over his gaping mouth. “It seems I have been played a fool by all.” When he focuses his attention my way, I instantly avert my gaze, revealing my guilt. “You knew?”
Deep-seated guilt washes over me. “Yes,” I whisper, unable to lie a second longer.
“No.” His gasp kicks me low, and I swallow back my shame. How could I have done this? I’m no better than the vile human beings surrounding me.