“He does?” Lou asked, not convinced.
“Sure he does. Why would he come out and speak to me if he didn’t. You yourself, said that his first episode with you was when you were talking about me, and he talked to ME? He faced his fears. That’s big, mom. And he did it for you.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Yeah, and when you do talk to him, tell him to think of me as a kid sister, not a daughter. That kind of creeps me out, just saying,” Veronica added and went to get plates for their breakfast. As she passed Lou her facial expression, had Lou laughing.
“Veronica, can you finish these omelets? I think I want to call Jay now.”
“Absolutely, mom. I’m glad I could help.” Veronica kissed her mom on the cheek and took the spatula out of her hand.
“You sure did, kiddo. You sure did,” she muttered as she patted her daughter’s arm, and then picked up her cellphone.
Once in the privacy of her room, Lou picked up her phone and dialed Jay’s number. He picked up on the third ring, a bit breathless, too.
“Hey, Louisa. I’m glad you called,” he said and his voice sounded surprisingly light.
“Yes, I got your message. You talked to my daughter. You told her about your daughter?” Lou rushed in.
“Yeah,” he mumbled sheepishly. There was a pause. “I want to apologize again, walking out the way I did. I was in such a state. I needed to think, but later, I realized what a jerk I must have seemed for not finishing up what we started. Talking about us. Lou . . .,” he paused again, “sometimes when my thoughts all come rushing at me, I just need time to clear my head. I do it better when I don’t have all these questions and feelings bombarding me. Can you understand that?”
She could, but she wanted to be honest with him. No more secrets. “I admit I was hurt right away, but just for a while. Then I was more worried . . .” She didn’t know how to say it, but decided to just blurt it out, “I was worried about how you felt, about me, about us.”
She heard Jay laugh, “Is that all?”
She laughed at the note of relief she could hear in his voice. “Yes. A girl needs to hear the words, Jay.”
“Well, Lou, my sweet Lou, with the biggest tits I’ve ever seen on a short girl, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the moment we met. How’s that for words?”
Lou laughed. He sounded like the old Jay, and even though it wasn’t the exact thing she had hoped to hear, it did warm her heart to hear his light tone. “Tits, really, is that all you think about?”
“No, Lou. Not any old tits, just your tits,” he teased, but there was a note of tenderness to it.
“Gee thanks,” she muttered, “I think!”
Again he paused. “Lou, on a serious note, I want you to know that I care for you so much. I really do. I think about you and us all the time. I may not be able to say the words that you want to hear just yet, but I feel them. Are you okay with that . . . for now?” he added after a brief pause.
Lou’s throat clenched. He was admitting a lot. The spark of hope began to flame in her heart. “I care for you to, Jay. I want to work this out with you. I want us to be together.”
“I want that too, baby. I want that too,” he murmured.
Both sides of the phone were quiet. No one knew what to say next. Both were overcome with emotion. Jay finally broke the silence. “I meant what I said about spending a bit of time with you and your daughter on Christmas. Tonight, well, it’s just too hard. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s night if I should go off or something. But, tomorrow, could I . . .”
“Of course,” Louisa piped in cutting him off. “Come tomorrow. We will be doing a late breakfast at ten or so. That is what we usually do after we open gifts and have coffee and such.”
“Okay, Lou, I’ll see you at ten. I’ve really missed you,” he added and Lou couldn’t fail to miss the note of gravel that came from his voice.
It seemed forever, and yet it had only been a few weeks, but he had awoken feelings in her she did not know she possessed. And, they were most assuredly alive and well.
Christmas Eve had been nice, enjoyable, but Lou was looking forward to seeing Jay the next day even more. She hoped it would go well and not be awkward.
She and Veronica had a great time with Francine, her husband Tom, Victor, and Monica. Even Ana and Teddy had shown up briefly to drop off some gifts as they were headed to the O’Rourke’s later, spending Christmas Day with them, as well. Ana had invited Veronica to go shopping with her the day after Christmas to hit some of the post-Christmas sales, promising to spoil her, and take her to Victoria’s Secret. Veronica held a special place in Ana’s heart, and she was like a second mother to her, having spent years living with them when Lou was in college.
Victor and Teddy had teased her about the outing suggesting she was a bit young for that store. Ana had defended her. Victor encouraged her to move to Florida promising her he could easily find several soldier friends, or one of his cousins, who would just love to take her out.
She politely said she would think about it, but wanted to finish school at UMaine.
Ana had given Monica, her mother, Veronica, and Lou all lovely silk scarves and a boxed set of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, suggesting they read the books so they knew how to use, um, wear the scarves properly. Teddy, God help him, blushed profusely when Ana’s mom told them all that she had already read the books, and knew how to use, um, wear a scarf. They all had a good laugh over that, but it was Tom’s turn to blush. Francine then thanked her daughter for the lovely scarf, seeing as she needed some new ones that weren’t all worn out. They all burst out laughing again. Louisa had already read the books, as well, on her kindle, but looked forward to reading them again, and flagging a few pages. There may be something in them she and Jay might be able to try, but she didn’t know if she wanted her daughter to read them. When Lou voiced that concern aloud, Veronica scoffed at her remark. “Really, mom, like I don’t see the news and haven’t heard the buzz about the movie. You’re lucky, she only bought us scarves.” It was Lou’s turn to be embarrassed. Her daughter, was growing up, God help her.
Lou had given Francine and Monica some gift cards to a few local restaurants. For Ana she had gotten a beautiful set of earrings, gold drops that resembled fire, with small rubies hanging from the ends. She had wanted to give her dearest friend something’s special. She and Veronica would be exchanging their gifts for each other in the morning as well as the other couples.
When Ana and Teddy left to go to their other party, the rest of the small gathering enjoyed the food Francine had prepared and caught up, and reminisced about their childhood. Victor looked on, and partook in the conversation expressing his delight at the stories of the young Monica with her head always in a book. He even teased her that she hadn’t been doing much reading while he was around, for which she promptly elbowed him in the gut.
Christmas morning Lou and Veronica awoke early. After coffee, and a walk with Missy, Lou and Veronica opened their gifts for one another. There was even a little something for Missy under the tree. Louisa, knowing Veronica would be returning to college, had kept her gifts smaller. She had gotten her daughter the new laptop she needed for school, and had gotten her some nice shirts from American Eagle knowing her daughter preferred casual over dressy clothes. She had also gotten her an iTunes gift card, a subway gift card, and a prepaid Visa card so she could choose something special for herself when she returned to school. Veronica had gotten her mom a silver blouse she thought she would like, a CD of John Mayer, and Mary Ann Jordan’s latest release which was entitled Laurie’s Time. How fitting she thought, as it was her time now, too. She had found her home, and now she was living for herself.
“Thank you so much,” Louisa squealed her delight. “You know how much I loved this author’s first book.”
“Yeah, I remembered you mentioning it, and how you hoped starting over here in Florida would be like the character of Emma in her little Virginian
town of Fairfax. Look inside, mom,” Veronica added with a sparkle in her eye.
“What?” Lou stated as she carefully opened the beautiful book’s cover. Then surprised, “You got it autographed?”
“Yeah,” Veronica laughed. “I looked her up on Facebook and there she was. I told her how much her first book inspired you, and your new life. I asked her if she could send me an autographed book, and she said yes. She was pretty nice about. She’s was so down to earth. She was thrilled to hear from me and about you enjoying her book so much that she sent me the book right away.”
Lou’s eyes strayed down to the title page. It read, “Lou, I am so glad you enjoyed Emma’s Home and hope you like this book Laurie’s Time just as much. Like my characters, I hear you are looking for your home and place in the world. Never give up, Lou. Never lose hope. Love, Maryann Jordan.”
There were tears in her eyes as she closed the flap. Never lose hope. She wouldn’t, although she almost had. This author’s words always seemed to be able to express so simply, and eloquently what she was feeling. She knew the books were fiction, but there were a lot of truths in her themes. She would follow this author’s work for years to come.
“You should look her up on Facebook, mom. I’ll leave my old computer here for you. She’s got another book in the series coming out over the summer, she said. She said she loves talking to her fans.”
“Thanks,” Louisa stated wiping at the tears that had made paths down her cheeks. “I’ll do that. Who knows, we might even become friends. And, thank you, Veronica. This was so thoughtful. I am really touched.”
After another round of hugs, Lou set to work in the kitchen to prepare her usual breakfast feast, and Veronica curled up on the sofa to check out her new laptop with Missy at her feet. It was nearly ten and Jay should be arriving shortly, she hoped. Yes, she did hope, she thought brightly, and just then she heard her best Christmas present so far pull up on his motorcycle in the driveway.
Jay was nervous, and he normally wasn’t the type to get nervous. It was more about Lou, then Veronica, really. He wanted to be with her, wanted her. But he was still afraid of committing. He had such a bad track record, and part of him still felt like everything in his life would turn to shit, and he didn’t want this, whatever this was, to end that way.
True, his life had gone smoothly these last few years, but all that he had been through had taken its toll on his mind and his soul. Shaking his head to clear it, he put on a smile, got off the bike, and put down the kickstand. Reaching into his bag on the back, he fished out the gifts he had brought for the girls. It wasn’t much, but he had chosen them carefully.
When he knocked, it was Veronica who answered, and it took him back a moment.
She looked so much like her mom except for the coloring, hair, and skin. The eyes, shape of the face, everything else was the same. They could pass for sisters. Lou’s hair was a mass of dark curls. Veronica’s was dirty blonde, layered and wavy. Her skin had the peaches and cream of youth, while Lou’s skin was smooth, white and flawless. Both of them were beautiful.
Veronica was speaking and he forced his attention down to her instead of over her head to watch Lou in the kitchen. “It’s nice to formally meet you,” she stated putting out her hand.
“You too, Veronica. I’m sure we have both heard so much about each other,” he smiled, took her hand and clasped it.
“Yeah, mom is a talker,” she laughed. “But all I have heard are good things. I’m glad my mom met you. Now, come in,” she added opening the door wider so he could pass.
“I’m glad to hear that you’ve heard good things about me,” he returned as Lou caught his eye and gave him a bright smile.
“Merry Christmas, Jay,” Lou called out.
“Merry Christmas, Lou,” Jay replied.
Veronica felt like she was invisible in that moment, and held her tongue when the words ‘get a room’ popped into her head. The look that had exchanged between them, and the words spoken didn’t coincide. The look said take your clothes off, and Veronica suppressed the fit of giggles that was about to overtake her. Her mom, ewww, she thought. Jay and Louisa both heard Veronica’s somewhat contained laughter, and it broke the spell. All three were laughing in the next moment.
Jay turned his attention back to Veronica and handed her a small wrapped package. “I got you a little something.”
“Oh how nice,” Veronica commented taking the package from him. “Shall I open it now?”
“Sure,” Jay answered. He watched as Veronica tore into the gift.
“Oh how lovely,” she stated with enthusiasm as she opened the lid and then stood up on tiptoe to press a kiss to Jay’s cheek. “Thank you.” She was already on her way into the kitchen to show her mother the gift before Jay even had time to react.
“Look, mom!” Veronica shoved the gift box under her mom’s nose.
Louisa looked at the silver charm bracelet with the solitary pendant of a dog, a lab on it. “It’s Missy,” Louisa stated in awe at Jay’s thoughtfulness. He must have remembered telling him that Missy was Veronica’s dog first, and the girl had almost seemed sadder to be away from Missy than her mom.
Jay spoke, “Your mom told me how much you missed her, so I thought this would cheer you up while at college.”
“I love it,” Veronica pronounced as she twirled away from the counter.
Louisa stopped beating the eggs she was scrambling when Jay placed a small similar package across from her on the counter.
“For me?” she teased wiping her hands on her apron.
“For you,” he stated, voice dropping an octave.
Louisa took the box with shaking hands. She unwrapped it slowly, in no rush.
“It’s not much,” Jay muttered.
“I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is,” Lou stated as she opened the box. Inside lay nestled the same silver charm bracelet he had gotten Veronica, but hers had several charms on it. The first one was a motorcycle, and she smiled remembering getting on Jay’s motorcycle for the first time. The second charm took her a bit longer to make out. She looked up at him.
He cleared his throat and muttered a few words, “A washing machine.” Lou blushed remembering their first time together. Then she fingered the cowboy hat and that memory came back very clearly. There was also a fishing pole, he had taken her twice. The fifth charm was a heart. She whispered her thanks, and made her way around the counter to thank him.
Veronica got busy on her computer again. She knew better than to interrupt this moment.
Louisa pressed a kiss to Jay’s lips, and although it didn’t proceed beyond that, it was tender and heart felt. “You’re welcome,” he whispered back, and leaned in for another kiss. It did something to him, and he ended it before he couldn’t. “I got you something else, but I’ll have to give it to you later.” His eyes glanced in the direction of Veronica reading the manual on the sofa.
Both of them cleared their throats, and set to work finishing the makings of a big breakfast. Louisa asked Jay to chop some things to throw in the eggs while Veronica fiddled some more with her new laptop. It did feel good, the three of them, comfortable, relaxed. It felt like home, and she hoped Jay felt it too.
After breakfast Jay opened his gifts, and laughed at the presents Lou had selected.
She got him a new fishing pole, which he loved. A coffee mug insinuating fish tails were always exaggerated and a nice black dress shirt. He had commented that he could never take her any place fancy because he didn’t have any nice dress shirts.
It was a nice morning that turned into afternoon. Jay helped Veronica with her computer, setting it up and creating her accounts. He knew how to read and understand a technical manual better that anyone she knew. Veronica warmed up to him right away. She loved his bike, and she mentioned how she and her mom had their own motocross bikes at her grandfather’s, and how she missed those times. Jay nodded his understanding, and offered her a ride. She jumped on the chance, asking if she could drive. He
flatly refused letting her ride his baby, even if it meant he could get in her mom’s pants. Veronica had been shocked at Jay’s statement at first and then burst into laughter. To Lou, it was the old Jay coming through. The unfiltered Jay. And to her, she took it as a sign that he was getting comfortable with her daughter. Veronica agreed to go with him driving, but she promised to work on him about letting her drive it. “You’ll give in,” she teased. Lou knew her daughter’s persistence could be limitless when she wanted something and had no doubt she would be driving it at least once before she left.
When Jay and Veronica returned from the brief ride, Jay had taken her to Pine Island and back, he called it a night. He wanted to spend some time with his dad, and wanted to give the girls time together alone. When they both refused, he suggested maybe going fishing the next day together.
Veronica sadly informed Jay she had plans with Ana to do a little shopping, but he could take her mom out. Jay’s eyes perked up at that suggestion. A chance to be alone with Lou was something he was greatly looking forward to.
When Lou began to object because she did not want to lose a moment with her daughter, his face fell. So, she stopped herself short. The temptation of having the day off, and being with Jay alone was too good to pass up. Ana would be sure to show her a good time, and it was just one afternoon.
“Are you sure, honey?” Lou asked.
“We will only be gone a few hours,” Veronica stated and looking from her mom to Jay’s hopeful eyes, Veronica knew they needed this time together, so she added, “I kind of wanted some Ana time, and I am sure Jay would love to have you all to himself. He mentioned something about wanting to get in your . . .”
“Veronica Louise Sears!” Lou used her full name.
“Mom!” Veronica pouted and rolled her eyes.
Afraid to Hope (Secrets & Seduction) Page 21