My eyes were saucers, my jaw almost brushing the top of my feet.
“Well?” Phee said, as though she really expected me to answer.
To say that I felt uncomfortable, would have been a gross understatement. “I’m not sure where you’re going with this, Phee.”
“You think Maddox is faking the way he feels about you. I think if a man can get his rod steel hard enough to bone your brains out, then maybe that’s not quite the case. Maddox’s mouth might have told you lies, but his cock told you the truth.”
Somewhere in her words, as weirdly put together as they were, there was logic.
Chapter Ten
Phee gave me a lot to think about. There I sat with her by my side, thinking in the silence she allowed. If any interruptions came, I would have expected them to come from her. Lo and behold, however, that was not the case.
There’s a part of me that is sure that I felt Marcus before I saw him. The skin crawling anxiety that used to take hold of me as a kid, wasn’t there. Instead it was replaced with something that felt pleasant. Like, without my permission, my heart was happy to see him.
I bit back the smile that wanted to take ahold of my lips and was careful not to shift my gaze to him until Phee trapped him in hers. After the words we’d just exchanged, I didn’t want her thinking that I was replacing one man for the other. That wasn’t the case at all. Or at least, so I thought. Until Marcus proved that good looks and newfound niceness aside, there was a lot about him to be admired.
He had a shopping bag in his hands, which he proudly set at the center of the table.
“Phee,” he said, nodded at her in greeting. “You don’t mind if I steal Cornelia’s attention for a quick sec, do you?”
I shook my head, but neither of them took notice of it. Whatever he wanted to talk to me about could wait. Should wait. His and my friendship was one that should be had behind closed doors, without Phee and without the cameras.
“Look at what’s inside,” he said, ignoring absolutely everything my body language was trying to scream at him.
I swallowed a fist sized lump and reached for the bag that he’d set on the table between us. My heart did a little flip. And then another.
Phee was giving me some serious side-eye. I couldn’t even blame her. Still, curiosity was my best damn friend and I dared to take a peek inside the bag.
There was a charger with a lightning bolt on the side and colorful lilies peeked from brown paper wrapping. By the time I spotted the tub of Ben and Jerry’s my actions and reactions weren’t mine to control anymore.
I threw my arms around Marcus and hugged him tight. It was one of those gestures that were only meant to show gratitude which made it hard to wrap my head around what was happening. My heart thumped like a sledgehammer in my chest and when Marcus’ hand touched the small of my back, butterflies fluttered excitedly in my stomach.
I pulled away, only to be met by the intensity of his gaze. What I saw in his eyes scared me. But even more terrifying was what I’m sure he saw in mine.
“A penny has never bought me this many wishes before.” My voice came as low as a whisper, the edges of it blushed with unintentional tenderness.
Marcus reached up, his hand brushing against my cheek as he swept a lock of hair behind my ears. “You’re so beautiful when you’re happy,” he whispered back, and I was even more afraid now. The space between us was growing thinner, my heart beating faster. My body was begging him against all reason to kiss me; my mind, however knew better than to jump into foggy waters.
“Thank you,” I said and turned away.
The shift in attention didn’t do much. Phee’s eyes met mine and I knew exactly what she was thinking, because I was thinking it too.
“I’ll grab us some spoons,” Marcus said, and left us to our lonesome once again.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Phee’s lips parted. “You look at him like you’re interested in more than friendship.”
“I’m not interested in anything right now,” I told her.
“When it comes to him? Or when it comes to Maddox?”
“Phee, please.”
“I’m just calling it like it is, Cornelia. I get it, you have history with that man. But from what I remember hearing, it wasn’t the good kind of history.”
“You’re right.”
“I know I am. Which is why I can’t quite understand how you can look at him the way you do and you’re running away from Maddox the way you are. Both men hurt you. How is it so easy to forgive one and not the other.”
“I haven’t forgiven Marcus for what he did when we were kids,” I said and Phee raised an eyebrow at me, calling me out on what was very clearly a lie. The thing was, Marcus hurt me when we were kids. That’s different from an adult making stupid decisions. Adults get held accountable. Kids don’t.
“Be careful, Cornelia,” she warned.
Chapter
Maybe I should have taken Phee’s advice. Maybe I should have realized that my thoughts and feeling and emotions were too all over the place to think that I could pursue something wholly platonic with Marcus. It was very likely that my heart was simply trying to mend itself in any way it found possible. Put a sea cucumber in front of me and hell, I might have started bridging a connection to it too.
Days went by and Marcus was still in the house. He played the friend that I very well needed and with it, proved himself to be a pretty damn decent human being. I found myself drawing comparisons between him and Maddox way too often.
I found myself wondering what it would have been like if Marcus were the one to have walked down the aisle. Would I have turned him away? Or would I have given him a chance to get to this point?
My heart was broken and broken things are known to experience glitches. The fact that I missed Marcus when he was not around and that sections of my thoughts were reserved for him might have been a result of one of those glitches. I wasn’t sure. What I was sure of, however, was that he wasn’t the only one on my mind.
I missed Maddox. The warmth of his body, the cheekiness of his smile, the way he’d hold me like I was the only woman in the world. Time, they say, heals all wounds. Distance, they say, makes the heart grow fonder. Every time I spotted a picture of the two of us, I knew just how much that was true.
What was happening didn’t make even a small fraction of sense. I was the kind of girl who’d frown at women who thought man problems involved having to decide between one or the other. I was the kind of girl who thought that if you loved someone, your heart could never open for someone else.
Marcus and I hadn’t pushed any boundaries. I at least had that going for me. My mind, however, it wandered past those boundaries. I wasn’t sure that anyone could hold me the way Maddox held me. But the way Marcus looked at me made me know he’d be up for the challenge if I allowed it.
We were at a difficult point in this game Robert was playing with us. Maddox and I seemed to have it tougher than the other two. Here I was, thrust into the potential to find love with someone who wasn’t the man I married. Only heaven knows what games Robert was playing with Maddox and Tammy.
My heart stung at the simple thought of him riding off into the sunset with her. Proof that I was getting closer and closer to forgiving him. Maybe I’d even forgiven him already. Where did that leave Marcus and me? I wasn’t sure.
In the past few day, we’d been sent on dates, ushered off to the movies, to dinner, ziplining, cramming into a short period of time the things couples usually take months to accomplish. Of course, we weren’t a couple, though we certainly looked like one. The wedding ring still held hostage on my finger made it look even more serious. Except the wedding ring was meant to boast a bond I shared with another man. Some things aren’t what they seem, alright.
I met Marcus in the foyer, under the watchful eye of Phee. She looked like she’d sucked on a lemon. He looked like he’d swallowed a canister of smiling gas. If I could see my own face, I’m sure it’d show nerve endin
gs crackling.
“You look –” Marcus started, then shifted his eyes to Phee. At the look on her face, he thought better than to finish whatever compliment he wanted to issue. I was thankful for that. Phee wanted Maddox and I to find our way back to each other. A part of me wanted the same thing. A separate part of me still wasn’t sure if Maddox was honest in his intentions.
“Phee hates me,” Marcus said, once we were nestled in the back seat of the car meant to usher us off to god knows where.
I shook my head at him and offered a small smile. “She doesn’t hate you. It’s just that...”
“She wants you to end up with Maddox.”
“Can we not?”
Marcus raised his hands in a surrender. Sooner or later we’d have to talk about this journey we were on and where it would take us. But for now, I just wanted to pretend that Robert didn’t up the stakes on all of this.
In only a few days, a new decision would have to be made. I wouldn’t have it easy like Phee and Pete. I’d still have to stand at the altar and decide whether or not I would be renewing my vows or signing divorce papers. But even more importantly, would be the decision to choose between one man or the other. Sometimes it didn’t feel like much of a decision at all. There were too many things at play here, however.
I fell in love with Maddox in a heartbeat. And then they took him away, keeping us apart for way too long while thrusting new potential in my face. Marcus was worming his way into my life. I say that with vengeance because there was a part of me that was at least a little angry that he hadn’t fucked up yet.
In the past few days, I had learned so many things about him that made him seem like the kind of potential that women just didn’t let walk out of their lives. He was caring, kind, and handsome as a magazine poster. Ran his own charity for kids living on the poverty line. He started a tech company, made decent enough money to ship over half his profits to those in need. All of that information and not a single piece of it learned from his lips. Add humble to the list.
“You know where we’re headed?”
“Huh?”
“Where we’re headed,” Marcus repeated.
I shook my head and glanced out the window. “Haven’t a clue,” I admitted.
“Here’s the thing I don’t get,” Marcus said, shifting in his seat so that his body was turned to me. “You get the briefs, don’t read them and miss the mark every single time.”
“Not every single time,” I challenged. He was right, of course. I went ziplining in a knee length dress and platform heels. Horseback riding wearing a wrap around that ended at my ankles.
“Please tell me we’re not going swimming.” I had on a full face of makeup. Had even curled my hair and sprayed it stiff.
“Does a waterpark count as swimming?” Marcus was full on laughing now. He was beautiful when he laughed. As a kid, this wasn’t a sight that was often seen. Marcus wasn’t happy then. But Marcus was happy now.
“You’re not serious.”
“Serious as a tsunami.”
“Shit. You think they sell swimsuits there?” Chances were, even if they did, they sure as hell didn’t sell them in my size. I wouldn’t caught be dead strutting a too tight, horribly shaped one-piece in front of the cameras. That would be way too many curves for America and not much left to the imagination.
“I know they don’t. Robert had the entire place locked down for the two of us. Likely, there won’t be any of the shops open.”
“Double shit. I can’t go swimming in -” I swept a hand over my body, indicating my skin tight jeans and chiffon top.
“There’s another option,” Marcus said, the smile on his face growing more and more mischievous by the second.
“Yeah...No.”
“You don’t even know what option number two is.”
I raised a brow at him and punched his arm playfully. Scrunching up his face, he rubbed at the spot I hit, as though I’d hurt him.
“I am not sliding through a waterpark in all my glory.”
“I mean...not that I’d be one to complain.”
“Marcus! Seriously!”
He shrugged his shoulders and pinned me with a gaze that made goosebumps stand tall across my skin. “Just saying,” he smiled and reached down to pick up a small backpack that he had placed by feet when we entered the car.
“For you,” he declared and skeptically, I took the bag and peeked inside.
“No way!”
“Yes way.”
I laughed, looking at my polka dot swimsuit. “You know this counts as theft, right?”
“I’m returning it to its rightful owner, so I’m not sure it does. Plus, if you’d rather go naked, you can give it back to me and we can just pretend this didn’t happen and –”
I pulled the bikini to my chest and hugged it tight, letting him know there was no way I was giving it back. “Thank you, Marcus,” I said and dared to lean forward and offer him a hug.
Chapter Eleven
If someone had told me that I would ever get to the point where wearing a bikini in front of Marcus would be comfortable, I’d have called them a liar and thrown holy water at their faces. Needless to say, Marcus was not the person he was when we were kids.
The look on his face when I stepped out of the changing room was one any girl wouldn’t mind remembering for days. My confidence was through the roof and I hated myself a little for it. There was a part of me that understood why, of course. Guys like Marcus were the very reason my self confidence had been as shattered as it was when I was growing up. Now, here he was, proving that it was all a farce. I shouldn’t have needed his approval and I didn’t, but fuck did it feel good to have him look at me like I was good enough to eat.
No words passed either of our lips as we stepped deeper into the waterpark, scanning the slides that we would soon tackle. A lick of excitement whipped across my stomach and like a giddy kid, I pointed to a long yellow slide that looped and twisted and turned.
“No better place to start than at the top,” I said.
“Go on the biggest slide first and everything else will feel like child’s play,” he said, but his words had no impact. I was already off running, taking the steps two at a time to get there before him.
When I reached the top, I knew just how much of an idiot I was. Looking down, I felt dizzy. Even dizzier when Marcus rested his hands on my shoulder in an effort to offer support. “Okay, so maybe from all the way down there,” I pointed at the spot we’d been standing in before I decided to pull on my cap of bravery, “it didn’t look this scary.”
“I tried to warn you.”
“That you did.”
“There’s no chickening out now,” he said and reached for one of the tubes. “I’ll go first. If I don’t die, then you won’t either.”
I laughed at that and decided that it was a fair enough deal.
“Alright. Here goes nothing,” Marcus declared and set the tube on the slide before climbing in. I gave him a little push and he was off.
Screams of excitement laced the air as he took on one loop after the next. By the time he splashed into the pool below, he was nothing more than a dot to my eyes. The flailing of his hands, however, told me that he was very much alive. Which meant it was my turn.
I looked at the stairs, really and truly contemplating not holding up my end of the deal. Problem was, unclimbing the stairs looked even more terrifying. Shit.
I sucked in a breath and followed his lead, though moving a lot more carefully and cautiously than he did. Then, I was off. A lot faster than he moved. My screams were screams of horror with only a tad of excitement in the mix. I held onto the handles on the tube for dear life, squeezing my eyes closed as the corners and the drops came into view. Water rushed behind me and I slipped through a curve, my screams louder now. And even louder as the end came in sight and the biggest drop yet approached.
With a splash, I was on even terrain again, gasping for breath, and laughing through the adrenaline still poun
ding in my veins.
“Not so bad, huh?”
I cleared water from my face with the back of my hand. “Oh ma gawd.”
Marcus laughed. “Race you to the top?”
And that he did. He also won, but was kind enough to allow me to go first because, well…he was an ass. That’s how the rest of our day went. Us, without a worry in the world, enjoying the sun and the water, the adrenaline – completely carefree.
None of what happened at the water park could have prepared me for the turn the night would take. Robert had made us a reservation at some swanky panky restaurant. Being the rebels that we were, we had the driver take a few wrong turns and perch us on the steps of the nearest KFC.
We stunk of chlorine and our stomachs screamed with the kind of hunger that a five course, thinly plated meal wouldn’t satisfy. We needed something that would fill us quick and until our stomachs were so sick with grease that we wanted nothing more than to rush home and pass out. KFC was perfect. Just like everything else about the day.
We ate to our hearts content, pigging out like we didn’t have a care in the world. By the time we were full, we still had at least five pieces of chicken in the box. Marcus packed it up and closed it in the bag, taking it with him outside and walking a distance to hand it to a homeless guy we’d spotted on the corner.
My stomach was full, but my heart even fuller as I watched him. This wasn’t the Marcus I knew, but it was certainly one I could get used to seeing.
When we got back to the house, it was pretty late. Maybe around eight, possibly nine. The house was quieter than it should have been at that hour, only to be woken by the boisterous of us walking into it. Strolling the halls, we tamed our voices and controlled our laughter as much as we could.
It felt wrong heading back to Maddox’s room with Marcus in tow. But I’d moved all my things in there. Plus, I was a married woman. Heading back to my husband’s room wasn’t the equivalent of burning down a monastery.
“Cornelia,” Marcus’ voice swept lightly to my ears as he closed his hand around my arm and gave a light tug so that I was facing him.
Morally Imperfect: A Bully Romance (The Bully Project Book 2) Page 9