****
The kitchen door flew open with a gust of wind. Barlow jumped up from his place by the stove and sauntered over to his owner.
“Sorry,” Chase said, catching the door and pushing it shut against the frigid air. “Didn’t mean to bring the bad weather in with me. That storm is really blowing out there.” He leaned down and patted the dog’s warm coat. “You are toasty, old fella. Must be from sleeping in front of that stove. Hey, Birdie, why don’t you stay over tonight? Roads are getting bad with all the new snow coming down.”
“Sounds like a plan. Did you get the fence repaired? Horses back in?” Steam rose in the air as she dished potatoes into a large bowl.
“Yep, we got everything fixed and the horses rounded up, but it took long enough. I don’t know what I’d do without Milo. In fact, I don’t even want to think about him retiring.” Chase grimaced at the thought of losing his ranch manager. He’ll be impossible to replace. He moved to the sink, turned on the faucet, and let the hot water run over his cold hands.
Birdie clucked her tongue. “Milo is still talking about retiring?”
“Yes, but I’ve offered him free room and board in the first cabin on the north side, if he’ll stay.” Chase reached for the soap.
The housekeeper stuck a serving spoon into the potatoes. “The cottage with the stone fireplace and flower boxes?”
“That’s the one. Your favorite.” He grinned as he studied her dazed expression. Could be there really is a match to be made between those two.
That would suit him just fine.
“Maybe you can influence Milo to stick around a while longer, Birdie. What do you think?”
She waved a hand at him. “Don’t go getting any ideas,” she added just as a lovely round of silly giggles from the babies filled the air.
“Hey, sounds like my girls. I’ve been waiting all day to see them.”
“They’re in there with Jessie.” She pulled coleslaw and butter from the fridge. “It’s been a long afternoon with the teething and all. But they’ve been playing for hours, so they ought to sleep well tonight.”
“That’s good.” He dried his hands, tossed the towel on the counter, and headed toward the pleasant sounds he loved emanating from the next room. “How are my baby girls?”
The twins squealed with delight and reached up, clamoring for attention as his gaze landed on Poppy’s marred forehead.
“What the hell?” Picking her up, he smoothed blonde curls from her face, carefully avoiding the dreadful injury. His heart ached. “Poppy Jo, what did you do?”
“She took a little tumble on the stairs this morning,” Jessie said. “Just a step or so down to the landing and bumped her noggin.”
He froze and moved his gaze to her. “That baby gate.” Had he forgotten? He'd been in a hurry—had he been careless? He could scarcely say the words. “The latch?”
Jessie barely nodded. “But she’s okay.”
“I was rushing out of here this morning because of the horses. I didn’t double-check the gate.” Anguish seared his heart. “This is my fault.”
Both girls babbled loudly, and Jessie raised her voice. “It’s only a bruise. She’s been fine all day. Honestly.”
“Dammit,” he muttered under his breath as a headache began to pound.
“That’s not going to help,” she whispered, tipping her head toward the twins. “They hear you. They learn from you.”
“I am so sorry, baby girl.” He gently kissed Poppy’s mass of blonde curls. “I thought I was doing better with them, but—”
“You are,” Jessie insisted. “Kids get bumps and bruises all the time. It’s not the end of the world.”
Her words were meant to soothe his pain. Chase knew that. But they didn’t help. Looking at little Poppy’s bruised head sure felt like the end of the world.
“Let’s eat dinner.” Jessie tapped a tiny nose. “I smell something tasty in the kitchen. Do you, Daisy Jane?”
But the dinner hour was quieter than most. Chase didn’t add much to the conversation. He barely ate anything despite the abundance of Birdie’s popular pot roast. His guilt-soured stomach just wouldn’t hold it.
After the meal and the dishes were done, Jessie took the girls upstairs for their usual bath, but Chase didn’t follow. Instead, he disappeared silently into the library at the end of the hallway. She looked from one wiggly twin to the other. “Looks like we’re on our own tonight, girls.”
Footsteps on the staircase drew Jessie’s attention that direction. “Birdie, thank goodness. I’m not used to handling their bath alone.”
“Not a problem. I’m here,” she said, wiping her hands on her apron. “I’ll turn on the water.” Then she opened the linen closet and retrieved several towels. “Let’s go, girls.”
Within minutes, the babies were splashing happily in the tub.
“Thanks for helping me,” Jessie offered as she shoved a handful of bothersome hair back over a shoulder. “I’m worried about Chase.” She wiped water from her cheek and rinsed soap suds from Daisy’s back. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”
“Give him time. Feeling guilty is rough. It takes a while to process.”
Birdie is right, but still… I wish there was something I could say to make it easier. She smiled at the jabbering babies. For now, I’ll just focus on these two cuties.
“C’mon, Twinny, stop splashing,” Birdie reprimanded with a smile. “That’s enough fun for one night. Let’s dry you off.”
Soon the twins were clean and warm, snuggled safely in their cribs, and Birdie headed downstairs for the evening. Jessie kissed the girls, hoping they would settle in and go to sleep. But both remained wide-eyed and restless. Waiting, Jessie knew. Should she go ahead and read a story to them? It won’t be the same without Chase. Nothing ever is.
“Missing your uncle, aren’t you?” she whispered. So am I.
She stepped out of the nursery and glanced down the hall, hoping for some sign of him, just as he emerged from the library. Chase looked weary beyond reason with a five-o’clock shadow darkening his features. She longed to reach out, to assure him things weren’t as bad as they seemed, but folded her hands together instead to avoid a gush of emotions.
“You okay?” A simple question was all she could muster.
He nodded. “Are they still awake?”
“They can’t sleep without their nightly story.” Those girls adored him, and she understood why. Nodding toward the door, she smiled. “They’re waiting for you.”
He hesitated for a moment, concern clouding his striking blue eyes. “Jess, just so you know, I’ve decided against extending the season for guests at the lodge. It would mean hiring more employees and lots of extra work hours away from this house.”
She blinked, taken aback by his words. He’d seemed so positive about the expansion when he’d first mentioned it. Why this sudden change? “But…but I thought it was what you wanted?”
“I just can’t see it working out. I need to be around for the girls more than I am. And I’ll be even less available if we make those changes. Maybe, later, when they’re older.” He raked a hand through his disheveled hair. “I see how good you are with them. I’m envious. It’s like second nature to you.”
“I’m falling a little bit in love with them,” she admitted, her heart near to overflowing with affection for those babies. “It’s easier for me because I’m accustomed to children, but you’re doing great. Honestly. Better every day.” What else could she say? How could she encourage him? “That little misstep this morning doesn’t define you. You’re not a careless man, Chase. Not latching the gate properly? It could happen to any of us on any given day. Please, don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“Can’t help it,” he confessed with a firm set to his jaw. “Not only is Poppy hurt, but it makes me think of Charlotte and all the things I couldn’t save her from.”
She frowned. What did he mean? “It was never your responsibility to save Charlotte. She’s a grown wo
man.”
“I tried to protect my sister from her own bad judgment, but I didn’t succeed. Now, I’m trying to protect those two little girls in there. Tonight, I realized I won’t be able to do that either. Not now. Not later. I didn’t even keep Poppy safe from a terrible bump on the head that could have been prevented. Maybe I’m not the right guardian for these babies.” He cast a wary gaze into the nursery. “But I can’t bear to give them up to someone else. I don’t think anyone else will love them the way I do. Is it just my ego talking? Does that make any sense at all?”
“Perfect sense.” The sadness in his eyes was nearly unbearable. She reached out, tenderly brushing fingers against his stubbly cheek. “You love the girls, making you the absolute best person in the world for them. Don’t doubt your ability because of one little incident. With kids this age, there will be plenty of mishaps along the way. Stop expecting perfection.”
Chase’s hand, strong and warm, covered her fingers, pressing her hand gently against his face. “Thank you.” Then he guided her palm to his mouth and brushed it with a warm kiss.
She could barely breathe. His touch, just something that simple, felt like nothing she’d experienced before. It was a perfect moment in time, like coming home.
His steady gaze held hers until she had to look away for fear he’d read her overwhelming emotions in her eyes. Her heart pounded against her rib cage. Love. That’s what this was. And the depth of it startled her.
It would be a long fall from here, if he didn’t feel the same.
“The…the girls are waiting for you.”
He gave an acknowledging nod and headed into the nursery.
The happy gibberish of the twins suddenly coming from the room brought a smile to her lips and a welcome distraction. She peeked into the room and saw Chase open a book of nursery rhymes and begin reading just as Poppy called out, “Da! Da!”
Looking up in a sweet mixture of wonder and relief, he gathered the tiny girl clad in red pajamas into his arms. He hugged the babe close, and Jessie raised a hand to her heart as something that looked a lot like forgiveness seemed to rain down on him.
Jessie slipped away to her room, allowing them their moment alone. The girls were his flesh and blood, not hers. And yet, in that moment, she felt like they belonged to her, too, in some indefinable way. If Chase didn’t fall in love with her, walking away from this household would be the hardest thing she ever had to do.
She placed a warm hand against her middle. “Oh, Peanut. What am I gonna do?” Love was more complicated than she’d ever imagined.
Chapter Eleven
“Good morning, Birdie,” Chase said, swiping a hand down his face. “Coffee ready?”
“As always. Where’s Jessie? I thought she’d have the babies up by now. They’re gonna love these scrambled eggs.”
Where’s Jessie? We’re all going to be asking that question plenty during the next eight hours or so. “I’m giving her the day off. Can you help out with the girls today?”
“Sure. I can stay the night, if need be,” she replied in a voice a bit too cheery for him that hour of the morning. “Can you handle getting them down here by yourself?”
“Yep.” I hope. He reached for a mug. “Let me get my morning caffeine first, so I have a fighting chance.”
“It will be good for Jessie to have a day to herself. A wise investment, too.” Birdie winked. “Make her happy, maybe she’ll stay.”
That was a satisfying thought. “Yeah, I don’t know what we’d do without her.”
“She’s a keeper.” Birdie cracked the first egg, and it slid down into a big blue bowl. “You might want to start figuring ways to make this arrangement permanent.”
Chase leaned back against the kitchen counter and took a drink of hot coffee. A life shared with Jessie? Not like he hadn’t spent a few nights dreaming about it. “Can’t say I haven’t considered it. But what if it’s something we start that doesn’t last? There’s a lot at stake with the twins.”
“It could last. You’re quite the catch.” Her voice softened. “My Violet knew that.”
He focused on the dark liquid in his cup, startled by Birdie’s mention of the name so rarely spoken. He hardly knew how to reply. “I’m an aging workaholic cowboy with more ranch to manage than I have time for and two baby girls I barely know how to keep alive. Quite a catch, right here. Any woman would think I’m just looking for a warm body to come in and mop up the mess.”
“No way.”
Chase met Birdie’s gaze as her warm hand touched his arm.
“You pay me to mop up. What you need is a partner. A friend. A companion. A wife. And this girl is the best thing I’ve seen come down the pike in ages. Pretty as a picture, too. Montana is filled with cowboys who’d be standing in line at this back door if they knew she was available.”
Another man in Jessie’s life? There was an image he wouldn’t get out of his head for a while. Ugh. Still… “I’m not sure how she feels about me. And who knows if she’s really done with old Brian from Seattle?”
“Were they married?”
“No.” What did that have to do with anything? “Why?”
She shrugged. “You’re a widower. Maybe the risk is more hers than yours. A first wife who lives on young and lovely in memory is a lot to compete with. A lot to accept. And a former mother-in-law underfoot? That’s a whole other problem.”
“You’re not a problem, Birdie.” He could hardly believe she viewed herself that way. “You’re part of the foundation of our lives around here.”
And more and more, so was Jessie.
The kitchen window seemed lit with bright pinks and oranges of a Montana sunrise. Could he imagine his world without Jessie in it? Man alive. He could barely even imagine making it through this one day. He took a last drink, then dumped the remainder and placed his cup in the sink.
“Take a chance with this gal. Surprise yourself. You might find true happiness.” She paused for an awkward moment. “If anyone deserves it, you do…after what you did for my Violet.”
Chase cleared his throat harshly, having a hard time meeting Birdie’s grateful gaze. Did she know the truth of it? Did she have any idea how guilty he sometimes felt for not truly falling in love with her daughter? If anyone had deserved better, it was Violet. But she had run out of time.
“My girl left this world believing she’d won her cowboy’s heart.” A few tears trickled down Birdie’s face. “A gift only you could give.”
If the mist in his eyes would just clear…
Chase stared down at his boots, grappling for what to say to this woman he loved like a parent. He swallowed hard. “Birdie…”
“No need for words.” She wiped her wet cheeks. “Not between us.”
A loud knock suddenly jarred the dishes on the counter, interrupting the moment. Birdie tossed the hand towel over her shoulder and walked toward the source of the ruckus. Yanking open the back door, she ushered in a cold blast of winter and Milo.
“Come in here before you freeze,” she insisted. “Want some coffee?”
“Don’t mind if I do. Is the boss around?”
“I’m right here,” Chase responded as relief swept over him. He was glad for a deviation from the difficult conversation. He reached into the dishrack for a clean mug. “Black, as usual?”
“Yep, thanks. I wanted to let you know a couple of the boys are going to be out today. Jake and Dutch caught the flu bug going around, so I told them to take it easy. If you need anything, track me down. I’ll get it done.”
“Thanks, Milo. I appreciate it.” Handing off a fresh cup of steaming hot coffee, he glimpsed a small plate of lemon bars back by the toaster. “Hey, Birdie, got any baked goods around here?” Chase winked.
“Oh, I just might,” she admitted.
He grinned. “I’m going upstairs to get the twins ready for breakfast.”
“Good luck,” Birdie and Milo called simultaneously after him.
“I’m gonna need it,” he mumble
d under his breath and headed up the steps toward the babies and Jessie. He just hoped she was awake and dressed, not walking around in the nightshirt she’d had a tendency to wear. That thing was costing him sleep. It skimmed her soft curves and did little to cover those long legs. He didn’t need that distraction on a challenging morning like this.
“You’re still here?” Jessie asked as she stepped into the hallway wrapped in her thick, white robe tied securely shut.
Suddenly, he missed the nightshirt. “Still here.”
A puzzled frown furrowed her brow, and she glanced at her watch.
“I’m not working today,” he explained. “Milo is in charge. And you are free to do whatever you want. Birdie is going to be here, so we’ve got everything covered.”
She combed her fingers through her messy hair, looping it into a ponytail with the elastic band from her wrist. “But the twins aren’t up yet.”
“I’ll get them. You need a day to yourself, and I need to spend more time with the girls to improve my pathetic parenting skills.” Goodness knows, I need it. “So, go shopping, visit one of your siblings, have a chicken salad sandwich and hot chocolate with marshmallows for lunch.”
“Mmm…” She leaned back against the doorframe and casually crossed her arms. “My favorite. You remembered.”
“I did.” He smiled. There were so many things about this woman burned into his memory. What would he ever do without her? “Now, go enjoy your day. Have you seen your sisters since you’ve been back home?”
“Not really. Jade has been too busy with her new job and family obligations to get away for lunch. Maybe I could visit Jocelyn. And I’d like to get a look at the Taylor property to see what condition it’s in.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “You’re sure you are okay with this?”
“We’ll get by for a day.” The Taylor house. A heaviness centered in his chest at the mere mention of it. Chase didn’t even want to think about Jessie moving out. “Just don’t find freedom too enticing. I want you back.”
“Definitely, but—”
“No worries.” He raised both hands, as if he could put an end to her doubts…or his own. “If there are problems, Birdie is here on standby. Now, go back to bed and get some extra sleep. I’ll take the girls downstairs for scrambled eggs.”
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