Jessie raised a hand to her throat. This discussion could lead down a path she didn’t want to travel, not with this sibling who loved knowing all of the specifics.
“Jade did her best to catch his eye, but no luck. Hey, what happened between you two when you were young? He kind of pursued you, and you told him to get lost or something? Did Jonas have anything to do with it? I can’t remember exactly.”
My, oh, my. You remember enough. She had forgotten how gossipy Jocelyn could be. “It was nothing. Hi, kids,” she said at first glimpse of her niece and a nephew in the doorway, thankful she could steer the conversation a different direction—any direction—away from Chase.
“What happened to you guys?” Jocelyn stood, pulled a gold clip from a pocket, and pinned up her long hair. Then she squinted and leaned in close. “What have you been eating, Brandon? Your face is dirty.” Licking her thumb, she wiped at the corner of his mouth.
“Granny’s candy. We found a bag in the playroom. If you fling it, it goes really far, Mommy. Sometimes, it even sticks on the wall!”
“Ooh, that’s just great.” Jocelyn placed both hands on her hips and shook her head.
“Pretty funny stuff for a four-year-old, I guess,” Jessie commented.
“I think it’s funny, too, and I’m six,” Allie exclaimed, holding up candy-coated fingers.
She gave a playful tug on her niece’s golden braid, relieved to have dodged further questions about Chase.
Jocelyn’s patience apparently ran thin. “I hope you picked up whatever you’ve been flinging. Do you need to go back into the playroom and clean anything, Brandon? Where are you, Connor?” she called out. “Connor? Were you in on this?”
“Aw, I always get blamed,” he protested as he came straggling in, looking as messy as his siblings. “Allie’s the princess. She never does anything wrong ’cause she’s a girl,” he added. “It ain’t fair.”
“It isn’t fair,” his mother corrected.
“That’s what I said. It just ain’t fair!” Connor protested but turned toward the playroom and the damage done. “Damn.”
Jessie looked away, trying to hide a chuckle at the surprising cuss from her nephew.
“Don’t talk like your father. Go put a quarter in the swear jar. Right now, young man.” Jocelyn stepped into the kitchen to find a damp washcloth and handed it to her daughter. “Here. Princesses need to work, too. Wipe your hands first, then help your brothers clean up the mess. Including the wall. And the dog. And Granny, too.” She shook her head and muttered, “Another day of perfection.”
“You love it.” Jessie shoved up the sleeves of her black turtleneck sweater and stood, gathering the few remaining toys strewn about the floor.
“Except the older generation part. I didn’t expect that to happen so soon. The overlap is killing me. But honestly, I wouldn’t mind having another kid.” She flashed an ornery grin. “And I’m late again.”
Jessie’s mouth dropped open. “You’re pregnant?”
“Shhh.” Her sister raised a finger to her lips. “I haven’t told Andrew yet, but I could be. Hey, if I can handle four, what’s one more? We grew up in a large family, and we turned out all right. Well, if you don’t count Jonas.” She opened up the toy box again and added a couple of stuffed animals. “Don’t worry about Allie. I won’t do to my daughter what Mom did to you.”
Jessie stared blankly at her sibling. Someone understood. And it mattered. She hadn’t comprehended how deeply, until that moment. A comforting hand squeezed her shoulder.
“You deserved a decent childhood, too, and you didn’t get one because you were always mothering the rest of us. That’s probably what interfered with you grabbing that cowboy the first time around. Well, that and our bonehead brother sticking his nose into everyone’s business. Thanks for being there for us. As for Allie, I’ll find a better way.”
“Thank you, Jocelyn.” She slid an arm around her sibling and leaned in for a quick hug as a jumble of emotions tugged at her. If I could just get out of here, be alone for a while. She glanced at her watch. “I didn’t know it was so late. I really need to get back home.”
“Home? So, that’s what you call his place now?” Her sister’s brows shot up. “I mean, you don’t even have a real—”
“Good night, Jocelyn. Say goodbye to everyone for me. And thanks for dinner.” She grabbed her coat and headed to the doorway. “I’ll call you.”
If wishes could come true, she’d be sinking into a tub full of bubbles, enjoying this peaceful feeling. But home? Jocelyn was right. She had no real home—just a place of refuge at the ranch. She smiled. Chase. The twins. Birdie. They feel like home now. Too soon for those feelings? Probably, but they’d settled in anyway and warmed her weary heart with sweet happiness.
And Peanut? Her secret would not be a secret much longer. Then what would happen? What would be Chase’s reaction?
So many decisions to make; so much to figure out before then. But she needed to start.
Tomorrow, she’d call to follow-up on the Taylor property. Ask questions. Negotiate. Pursue progress. Take steps toward a future for herself and Peanut. She caught her lower lip between her teeth and hoped against hope.
Will Chase want to be part of that future?
Chapter Fourteen
Pulling the ringing cell from the back pocket of her jeans as she entered the house, Jessie glanced at the number. “Oh, no.” Her stomach clenched, and it had nothing to do with being pregnant.
Okay. It will be okay.
She cleared her throat. “Hello.”
“Jessie, is that you? I can hardly hear you.”
Momentary panic gripped at the voice from the past. A call from Brian couldn’t be good.
Be calm. Just listen. Find out what he wants.
“Yes, it’s me,” she managed to respond. Breathe in, breathe out.
“We have something of a bad connection here.”
In more ways than one. A shudder of dread ran through her. “I can hear you.”
“How are you, babe?”
“I’m fine.” She raised a hand to her forehead. “How about you?”
“Not good. Life’s not the same without you. I’ve been pretty miserable here in this big city all alone.”
“Well, there are a lot of people in Seattle.” She slid out of her coat and placed it on the coat tree. “You’ll find someone who shares your dreams in a way I can’t.”
“That’s just it. I miss you. I want you back, Jessie. I want our dreams to be the same.”
She bit her lip until it throbbed. They’d had their goodbyes. Jessie had no desire to revisit the past. There could be no happy ending for them. “I’m sorry, but we want different things out of life. We’re not—”
“I know…I know what you’re going to say. But hear me out, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t get the whole Christmas movie thing. I didn’t listen. I didn’t take it seriously enough. And the surprise pregnancy, I shouldn’t have bailed on you. I regret that. But I feel differently now. I want you back. I’ve found a new apartment for us. There’s even room for a nursery, if…if we still need it.”
If? What’s that supposed to mean?
“Nothing has changed.” She sighed impatiently. “What happened with the new gal from the office? Lois or Lisa or whatever her name was?”
“It was no big deal. Just a stupid flirtation. How could I be happy with Lois? She’s not you.”
Jessie chuckled softly. “I thought that was part of the attraction.”
“No, no, that’s over, babe. But with you—”
“It’s not going to work with us.” She closed her eyes. How can I end this conversation?
“Come on, Jessie. I’m willing to admit I was an idiot.”
No one’s arguing that point. “We made a mistake, Brian. We’re not in love. You don’t want kids, and I very much do. You don’t want life in the country, and I don’t want life in the city. There’s not much there to work with.”
“Listen, i
f you’ll give me a second chance, I’ll…I’ll come around about the baby. It might take a little time, but I can do it. We’ll make it work. I’ll visit you out there. We’ll spend a few days together, talk through our problems. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even like Montana.”
Maybe Montana won’t like you. “Brian—”
“We can make it work.”
“I don’t want to just make something work.” She cringed at the thought. “I want a real family. Love, marriage, home, happiness. Things we can’t find together. We tried, but it’s not for us. I’m sorry.”
Please, oh please don’t say you want to be involved with this baby. Please, don’t change that much. Not now.
“Think it over, Jessie. The gal who took your job was fired today. I spoke to your former boss, and he’d love to have you back. He even agreed to a raise and extended maternity leave, if you’d come back on board. That’s how badly they miss you. Why don’t you think it over? Give it a little time, and I’ll call you later. I’ve even checked into daycares, believe it or not, and they started one at the law firm. Open sixteen hours a day. Lobby level. Reasonable rates. Very convenient access.”
Great. So I can work eighty hours a week and just pick up the little soul on my way out the door at night.
“Brian, I don’t need more time. I know what I want.”
“I’ll call you later. Consider what I said. It could all be good again with us. Give me another chance. I won’t let you down.”
You already have.
There was no chance for them. There never had been. Her only real thought about him anymore was what problem he could cause in the future. What if he suddenly developed an interest in this precious child who, through no fault of its own, shared his DNA?
Her greatest hope was that he remained true to character. He’d always been self-centered, stubborn, set in his ways. Qualities that suddenly now served a useful purpose.
What did I ever see in him? The Brian she’d known for years had no interest in children. His or anyone else’s.
Please, please, just stay that way.
Chapter Fifteen
“The employment agency called this morning.” Birdie poured fresh coffee into a red mug. “Seems they’ve found a possible nanny.”
Jessie flinched at the dreaded words. She bit her lower lip and sank her weary bones onto a hard kitchen chair. What had she thought? That this day would never come? Wishful thinking, indeed.
Focus, Jessie.
She dipped a tea bag into her own cup of hot water and tried to hide her disappointment. Her pleasant little cocoon was unraveling. “Have you mentioned this to Chase?”
“Not yet.” The housekeeper leaned back against the sink. “Look, I’ll be honest. I don’t want you leaving. You’re the perfect solution for us, in every way. And I can see Chase is smitten with you. Just give it more time. Don’t leave and force us to start over with someone new. He doesn’t need that complication. His sister dumping the twins on him has been difficult enough without losing you now.”
Chase? Smitten? Those two words hardly seem to go together. She blinked, scrambling for an appropriate answer. Could she make this work? “I’m here because I want to help. I wouldn’t do anything to make life harder.”
“I happened to hear you wrapping up a phone conversation the other night with your old boyfriend.” Birdie took a drink of her coffee and then placed the cup on the counter. “A call like that can’t be good news for anyone around here.”
Jessie was too surprised to do more than nod. How much had Birdie heard? “It…it wasn’t important,” she stammered. “We’re not reconciling. Not a chance.” If the housekeeper knew much, she’d likely say so. Jessie focused on the tea in front of her, added a teaspoon of sugar, and stirred. “But I am an attorney who needs to make a living. I can’t stay here indefinitely.”
“But we could sure use your help for a while. Say…until the kids graduate high school?” One corner of her mouth turned up. “Think about it. It could be a good arrangement for you, too. Win-win, as they say. Suggest it to him, if he doesn’t suggest it to you. It could work. You need his help as much as he needs yours. I mean, you’re not going to have time or energy to get moved into a new place and start up a law practice in town, what with your own little one on the way.”
Jessie choked on her first sip of tea. She suddenly felt ill-equipped to deal with this subject.
But, ready or not, here it is.
“I’m not blind or deaf, sweetie.” Birdie switched off the gurgling coffee maker. “And you’ve been hanging out in the bathroom a long time most mornings. Then nothing but tea and crackers for hours? It’s not hard to figure.” Pulling out a chair, she plopped down. “I realize I’m impossibly nosy, but any chance this baby belongs to Chase?”
Jessie’s heart ached, but she barely shook her head. If only.
“Is that why the old boyfriend called? Wants his woman and kid back home?”
“His new romance didn’t work out.” She reached for a napkin to wipe up drops from the teabag. “He doesn’t want children. It’s a concession. He’d accept the baby, if he must, to have me.”
“Hmpf! Not a happy beginning for a new family. You and that baby deserve better.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Jessie relaxed into the chair, her shoulders sagging just as a comforting, warm hand covered hers.
“I don’t know what to tell you about your ex, honey. But this ranch is a great place to raise kids. And Chase is a good man. It might take him a while to commit to something, but once he does, that’s it. No turning back, no changing his mind. Like he is with those babies sleeping in there. He’ll raise them up right or die tryin’. Kind of hard to find a guy who is that devoted to anything these days. You can build a life with a man like that.”
I could, couldn’t I?
She caught her lower lip between her teeth and attempted to suppress the small smile tugging at her mouth. A life with Chase…
The kitchen timer beeped, and Birdie moved to the oven and pulled out a pan. Jessie sniffed. Lemon bars. Again. Ugh. Not even crackers sound good right now.
“Not everything has to be based on love and romance, ya know,” Birdie insisted. “Partnerships can be formed, arrangements made. I’ve seen it work more than a few times in my years. Sometimes those marriages make better matches than some so-called romantic ones.”
An arrangement? Jessie buried her face in her hands. Is Chase even remotely interested in such an idea? Am I?
If she was meant to be with him, she wanted love in the picture. But was Birdie right? If she gave him time, maybe he would learn to love her? Could she be that patient? Wait for it?
This whole scenario seemed difficult to wrap her mind around. It was hard to even imagine. It seemed too fragile, too amazing to hope for.
She raised her gaze to meet the older, wiser woman’s optimistic expression. “I don’t know. He hasn’t even hinted at anything like this. I doubt it’s crossed his mind.”
“I doubt it hasn’t.” Birdie chortled. “He’s a man, honey, and you’re a pretty gal. You two match up pretty well, as far as I can see.”
Propping her chin on one hand, Jessie pondered possibilities. Could it work? Maybe? There’s always hope, isn’t there?
“I’ve seen many relationships of convenience turn into deep and abiding love,” Birdie said matter-of-factly. “Don’t tell me there aren’t sparks flying between you two. Stay to see it through.”
Chase was, at least, somewhat attracted to her. She could sense it. As for her, chemistry was not going to be a problem with the handsome rancher. And oh, how she loved those babies. Without them in her life, nothing would ever be the same. Add Peanut and a dose of homegrown love? Voila! A family.
“If only it could be that easy,” she murmured.
“You won’t know until you try.”
The housekeeper reached into the cupboard and noisily pulled out two plates, reining Jessie’s wandering thoughts back in.
“Now, you could use some protein for lunch, little mama. How about a turkey sandwich with a slice of cheddar?” Birdie whipped open the refrigerator door and peered inside. “Pregnant women still like dill pickles?”
“Not this one.” A wave of nausea washed over her at the sour thought, but it faded quickly. She’d skipped the crackers that morning and barely touched her tea, she realized as her stomach growled loudly. Maybe a few bites of a sandwich would taste good.
Her new confidant reached for a gallon of milk. “How about hot chocolate with marshmallows?”
“I’d like that,” Jessie admitted with a forced smile as her main concern still nagged at her. “Birdie, I haven’t told Chase about my baby yet.”
“No problem. That’s all you, girl.” She set a plate of sliced meat and cheese on the table, along with a slab of apple pie. “Seen a doctor? Taking prenatal vitamins?”
“Yes, I saw an OB/GYN before I left Seattle, and I stopped in the twenty-four hour care clinic when I was in town the other day. I’m going back in two weeks, but everything is fine.”
“Well, you’re eating for two now. Let’s chow down before the twins wake up from their nap. It’s gonna be a long afternoon, considering their moods. Seems like those frozen teething rings are too hard on their gums, but the refrigerated ones aren’t helping much either.”
“So true.” She smoothed her brow with both hands. “It could be a very long day.”
“Poor Barlow’s been hiding out underneath the dining room table. All the crying is wearing on the old fella. If it wasn’t so dang cold outside, he’d probably run away. And Chase has never seen the girls this riled up before. Wait until he gets home.” Birdie grinned. “This will be a whole new experience.”
Jessie looked down at her stomach. “Yes, a whole new experience. Several of them, in fact,” she added as a strange, quiet comfort settled over her. With Birdie in the loop, she’d have someone to share her pregnancy ups and downs, and that sounded very good.
Now, if we can just survive the trials and tribulations of teething…
The Cowboy's Twin Surprise Page 9