by Cee, DW
“Noah, I understood back then you were going to be busy. I had all kinds of misgivings about our relationship as soon as summer started. You helped alleviate some of it when you visited me in Vegas, but as soon as school began, I knew we were done. So in many ways, it wasn’t only your fault that we ended. I expected us to end. I’m at fault, too.”
“No, Marni. You’re not at fault. I’d always had a hard time saying no to Siena and even as a grown man, I couldn’t say no. She seduced me with promises of fun when life was difficult. She smiled when I frowned and comforted me when I felt overwhelmed. She was everywhere and I couldn’t ignore her.” I didn’t like the dimness in my fiancée’s eyes. “What’s the matter,” I asked.
“I feel guilty.”
“What the hell for?”
“I should have called you more and forced you to tell me what was happening in your life. I wasn’t there for you because I didn’t want to face the inevitable. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know your schedule was impossible. I figured if I closed my eyes to the reality around us, you’d figure out a way for us to work. I’m sorry, Noah.”
“That’s not what this conversation is about, Marni. I’m not pointing fingers at you. I only wanted to explain that after that first year, Siena asked me to marry her.” Marni looked shocked. “Brandishing aside all kinds of doubts, I said yes and we married in a lavish ceremony in Rome.”
“That sounds beautiful.” Marni didn’t look me in the eyes when she made this statement.
Before I continued this saga, I wanted to change the mood I’d created. “We don’t have to have a simple wedding at Mom’s. You can have your heart’s desire, Marni. Don’t feel obligated to make life easy for the rest of us. I want you to have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of—you’re not getting another one.” I threatened with a smile.
“I have no desires for a grand wedding. A simple ceremony suits me fine. Did you want something bigger?”
“Hell no. Even when I had the big, I didn’t want it. I like your idea of an intimate family-only wedding.”
“I’ll maybe invite Syl and her husband.”
“If you chose to, then I’ll invite a few navy guys.”
“So are we done?”
“Almost.” I placed my hand atop hers and explained, “Even before Siena and I married, I had doubts about our union. She confirmed those doubts the moment the fun part of the marriage was over. As desperately as she wanted to live in the fantasy of marriage, I wanted to step into reality and progress with life. Less than a year into our marriage, we separated and by our second anniversary, our divorce was final.”
“OK. I heard you. I understand you. I’d like to put this all behind us.”
“The main reason why I wanted to tell you this story was to explain that I have absolutely no doubts about us. Even through our many separations, the fights concerning Ali, and my issues with Ben, I love you and can’t wait to call you my wife. I want you to know that I feel like I’m finally man enough to be your husband. I will take care of you. I will cherish you. I will love you until I die.”
“Thank you, Noah. I love you too.”
She had a satisfied smile. I knew we were on the right track and we would be all right. “What’s on the agenda with the wedding? How can I help you?”
“When are you headed back to San Diego?”
“Tonight. When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning. Ben is in a meeting right now with some Hollywood person and didn’t know when he’d be done when we booked our tickets. I did just get a text from him saying he’d be back at the hotel in an hour.”
“Can I ask you what you’re thinking in terms of Ali?”
With a look of fright, she was scared I might have changed my mind. “Will Alice be an issue for you? For us?”
I relieved her fears immediately. “No! Not at all. I actually really like her. She’s adorable. With her red hair and hazel-green eyes, she reminds me very much of you. Is that what you looked like when you were younger?”
Marni paused. “I guess? I’m unsure. Ben’s parents say aside from the hair color, she looks identical to Ben. I’m sure my dad and Jean will probably say Ali is a mirror image of my sister Melody. I think it’s all in the eye of the beholder.”
“In any case, what did you want to do about your situation with Alice, school, and work? I know you’ll be with her during the day. Will you continue with work and school at nights?”
“I’ve been thinking about that.” Her lips pursed and moved from side to side. “I think I’m going to postpone school once the semester is done. I don’t want you to come home to an empty house. It’s important for us to start on the right foot and me being gone half the nights doesn’t seem prudent. As for work, since I get most of it done during Ali’s nap time, I think I’ll continue. But, that’s up for discussion as well.”
“You don’t have to quit school for me.”
“I’d like to spend more time with you, Noah. We’ve lost too much time, already.”
I didn’t like the way Marni sounded. There was an insecurity that shouldn’t be there. “Marni. What’s the matter? I’m pumped we are getting married. I feel like I can conquer the world. Do you not feel the same way?”
“It’s not that I’m not excited about marrying you. I just feel like you’ve sacrificed everything to be with me. I want to do something for you and this was the only thing I could sacrifice.”
Pulling her out of her chair and onto my lap, I kissed her with all the love I had. “I would give up every last thing I own to be with you. Let’s not make any rash decisions until after we’re married. If work and school separate us more nights than we like, you can quit, postpone, continue—I’m good with all of the above. All I want is for us to live as husband and wife.”
Those were the magic words. She was glowing like a future bride.
We’d be married in two weeks!
Chapter 2 - Marni
Amnesia ~5 Seconds Of Summer
“Now that you’ve graduated, where will you go work? You have so many offers on the table. I’m so proud of you, my genius daughter. Look at all these PR firms who want you in their company!”
“Thanks, Mom. I was thinking I’d stay in San Diego and work for the same PR company who gave me the internship.”
“But that’s the smallest one in size and pay. Why would you do that?”
“Because you’re here. Because San Diego is my home. Because this is where I feel I belong.”
“Marni. You have a famous PR firm in New York who’s dying to have you in their workforce. Their pay is higher than all the others and it’ll be great on your resume for when you want to return to California. You also have that firm in Los Angeles who’s willing to relocate you with all the bells and whistles. Why would you give either up for San Diego?”
“I’m scared, Mom.”
“Of what, Sweetheart?”
“LA is where Ben and Melody live and New York is where Noah and Siena live. Chances of running into either couple are slim to none, but I can’t do it. I can’t watch them together. It still hurts too much. I’m sorry I’m such a loser. I don’t want to experience that kind of pain again.”
“I understand, Marni. But, I am disappointed in you. You can’t let two failed relationships cloud your future. It’s not as if you were married to either boy. Look at me. Your father left me for another woman and I survived. Life is all in your attitude. If you behave like a victim, you’ll always be one. I’d like to see you move beyond the past and create a bright future for yourself.”
“I am behaving like an idiot, huh?”
“You are. Fortunately, you have some time to think things over. Don’t make any decisions when you’re emotional.”
“All right, Mom. I’ll keep in mind what you’ve said.”
“You do that, Sweetheart.”
“Shall we go see if Mom is still alive after spending two hours with a toddler?”
“Your mom is fantastic with Ali. She’l
l make a fine grandmother.”
Noah and I stopped discussing the wedding. He told me that he, Carson, and the Admiral would each get a nice suit and leave the details to us. I needed to sit with Mom and Cece and plan something quick. I may have bitten off more than I could chew with this two-week wedding.
“Ali-Girl! How are you?” I smiled hesitantly, not knowing whether she liked being in Cece’s company.
Ali shook her body no when I tried to take her off Cece’s hands.
“You want to live here with us, Ali?” Cece loved that Ali was so taken with her. Ali appeared to love her too.
“Your daddy wants to have lunch with you, Ali-Girl. We need to head out.” She wasn’t happy with me taking her away, but she understood she was seeing her father.
“When shall we talk about the wedding?” My future mother-in-law excitedly asked.
“How about I come by after I put Ali down tonight?” I suggested.
“I’ll probably be gone by the time you come,” Noah answered with chagrin. “Maybe I should change my flight.”
“That’ll cost as much as a plane ticket. Don’t do that, Noah. I’ll see you when we get back home.”
“All right. I’ll take you back to the hotel.”
“See you tonight, Marni.” Cece hugged me farewell. She then hugged and kissed my little niece and told her, “And I’ll see you very soon, too. I’ll miss you until then.”
Noah chuckled at his mother’s transformation into a doting grandmother. “What a crack-up! I’ve never seen Mom so enamored with a baby. You seem to have that effect on people, Alice Howard.”
She grinned without having a clue why she was smiling.
It didn’t take long to arrive back at the hotel. Sadly, it was time for us to part.
“I’ll see you back in California?” I asked.
“I’ll come up on Friday and we’ll start apartment hunting.”
“Sounds good.”
We kissed briefly and separated. With Ali between us, that was the best we could do.
“Hello, my precious girl!” was the greeting this baby received from her father the moment we stepped into the room.
“Dada!” Ali ran to her father. No matter the attention from others, Daddy’s love was the best. Ben was a terrific father.
“What did you do while your old man was working hard?” As if Ali understood him, she started babbling nonsense. “Uh, translation?” he asked me.
“She had a second breakfast, then played with Cece while Noah and I talked over a few wedding details.”
“So you’re really going to do it, huh?” he asked with skepticism.
“Why would you ask me that and in such a tone?” His manner of speech bothered me.
“I just don’t think he’s right for you. Look at how many times you’ve separated from him. If you two were meant to be, you would have married years ago. I think you’re both holding onto the past.”
Ben’s blunt remark surprised me and put me on the defensive. “Maybe all those years we separated were necessary for us to figure out what we really wanted. Maybe not everyone has a perfect courtship and marriage like you and my sister. Noah and I love each other. I think that alone is solid reason for getting married.”
My brother-in-law looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “Sometimes, love just isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. Look at us.”
Now that really hurt. “You obviously didn’t love me, Ben. If you could easily sway toward another woman because I wasn’t around—that’s not love.”
“Don’t belittle my feelings for Melody or for you. I didn’t just find another warm body because you were a thousand miles away,” he answered angrily. “You don’t know what I went through when you left for college, and you couldn’t care less. You were off having fun with all your new friends, including Noah. Your sister was the support I needed when my fledgling music career was going down the toilet. She encouraged me in ways you never did—and you were supposedly my girlfriend at the time!”
“I had given you my heart, mind, body, and soul. If that wasn’t enough, then I’m sorry. Obviously my sister was the better woman for you. I know you were a dream come true for her and she was your muse. Good for the both of you! I wasn’t right for you, but I’d like to think I’m right for Noah. After all I’ve been through in my young life, I’d like to believe there’s happiness and hope for me too.”
I gave Ali a kiss on the forehead and walked out.
I hated thinking about the past.
I hated thinking about how much I had loved Ben and how betrayed I felt by him and my sister.
I’d walk off this anger and hurt, and move on.
I had a wedding to plan.
Chapter 3 - Ben
I’m Moving On ~Rascal Flatts
“Ben?”
“Hi Melody. What’s up?”
“I know this is a silly question, and I know you’re with my sister, but I wondered if you’d be willing to take me to my winter formal?”
“Um…yeah…that should be fine. I mean, I’d be happy to take you if you don’t already have a date.”
“I haven’t told Mar, yet, but I’m sure she won’t mind. She’s been so busy with college. Look at how she didn’t even come home to hang out with you during spring break.”
“Mar definitely has been busy. I’m proud of her for becoming an ideal collegian. She’s going to do well in college.”
“She’s always done well in school, but what about you, Ben? What about her commitment to you?”
“Well, Mar and I broke up a few months ago.”
“You did? How come you didn’t tell me all this time we were together? Is that why you’ve been so sad?”
“I’m not sad, at least not anymore. Winter formal sounds great, Melody. I’d be honored to escort you.”
“You know I’m always on your side, Ben. If you need someone to talk to, come to me.”
“Thanks, Melody. I knew you’d turn out to be a great friend.”
Damn. Damn. Damn. Another fight with Marni. Maybe it’d be easier to let her go back to San Diego. I could find a sweet, older lady to take care of Ali while I worked. I’d keep shorter hours at school and try to bring all of my work home. That could solve all our problems.
All through the plane ride home, Mar interacted with her niece but said very little to me. Yesterday’s conversation started with me voicing a concern, but somehow took a terribly wrong turn. I wasn’t comparing or accusing the two sisters. Marni took my words and twisted them into something they weren’t.
With ten years of marriage experience, I thought I was doing her a favor with my honest assessment of her engagement to Noah. Maybe deep inside, I didn’t want her to marry Noah. Maybe I was being selfish wanting her to stay with Ali.
“Mar?” I wanted to smooth things over before our situation got any worse.
“Yeah?” She was in the middle of changing Ali into her pajamas.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry about our conversation in New York. It was rude of me and I overstepped my place as your friend and brother-in-law. Ali and I want to see you happy.”
She said, “Thanks,” but there was a lot more on her mind than just a simple thank you. If she needed me, I was always available to talk.
“Whether or not you believe me, I am on your side. We’ve had our differences—you and I are stubborn people with strong opinions. If we bickered over every differing opinion, we’d never stay friends.” Marni’s body relaxed for the first time since our argument in New York. “I’ll put Ali down, you get in your swim, and let’s chat over beer and wings,” I suggested.
“I need to get into a wedding dress, Ben.”
“So swim more laps than usual.”
She rolled her eyes, kissed my daughter goodnight, and left for her swim.
“Let’s get you down, Baby. You look like you’ve had a full day today.”
“Mama?” Ali asked.
“No Mama today. It’s just you and me, Kiddo. You need to ge
t used to me since Auntie Mar will soon be married. I don’t know how much longer she’ll be your caretaker.”
It was as if she understood the sadness of what’s to come. My daughter wailed, asking for her “Mama.”
“Baby,” I tried to console her. “I’ll hold you until you fall asleep. There’s no need for Auntie Mar.”
She couldn’t be consoled and Mar couldn’t be helped. She ran right back into the room.
“Mama.” Ali cried out for her in such a helpless voice, I didn’t curb my instinct to fight for my right to put my daughter down. I let the eventual happen.
“Come here, you silly girl. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” She cradled my daughter in her arms and the crying abated immediately. “You’re tired from our outing at the park and your body is messed up from the time change. You’ll be back to normal in a few days, Ali-Girl.”
Mar was seriously the Baby Whisperer. Ali was out within the minute.
“How do you do that?”
She smirked. “If I told you all my secrets, I’d be out of a job.”
“Let’s go, Auntie Mar. Cold beer and spicy hot wings are calling our names.”
“Shit Ben! I don’t want to gain weight before my wedding.”
“If you gain a few, lose a few. You have plenty of time.”
“I don’t. We’re getting married in a couple of weeks.”
“What?” I yelled. “Why? What’s the rush?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “No reason. We don’t want to wait, I guess.”
“If there’s no reason, shouldn’t you take it slowly and make sure this is the right thing to do?”
Mar looked unhappy with me. “I’m going to go swim. Rain check on the beer and wings.”
She spoke. I listened. We parted on bad terms, again.