Over and over, he rocked into me until we could hardly breathe. Sweat beaded across his chest before dripping onto my skin. Every one of my senses had been exponentially heightened. Weaving my hands around his waist, I pulled him deeper into me.
“Fuck, yes,” I moaned.
“I take it I must be doing something right then?”
“You’re doing everything right.”
His lips nipped at my ear. “Glad to hear it.”
After a couple more thrusts of his hips, I was a breath away from coming undone.
Explosions ignited behind my eyelids, swarming my senses with an array of colors. Every hue imaginable played through my consciousness and elevated the pleasure humming through my body to the next level. The connection we had was exactly what I’d come to crave every time Ry and I were in the same room together. And in the back of my mind, I knew nothing else would ever be able to compare to this. I was experiencing the pinnacle of ecstasy as his body took me higher and higher. As I rode a wave of euphoria, Ry’s body trembled above me. Muttering a string of curse words, he finally stilled.
When I noticed his attention was focused on me once more, I chewed on my bottom lip. “I don’t know about you, but I’m glad we did that.”
“Me too.” Bending forward, he kissed me. “Sorry I ruined your painting.”
“Strangely, I’m fine with it. And besides, it’s not like I didn’t help.”
“True.” He chuckled lightly and brushed his nose against mine. “Why don’t we take a shower and then I can make us something to eat?”
I smiled at him, my thumb tracing the line of his jaw. “Well, it’s apparent you know the way to my heart.”
“That was my goal all along.”
THE TIPS OF HIS fingers massaged the length of my back. “Mmm. You keep that up and I may never leave.”
“Is that a promise?” he asked.
“Only one way to find out.”
Ry stepped closer, his hands leisurely traveling past my waist to my hips. A caress like this should never be rushed. Shared warmth is something that should be savored with every fiber of your being. Drops of water rolled off our skin as we stood beneath the showerhead. I laughed as he trailed a line of kisses along the curve of my jaw.
“Thank you,” he mumbled against my flesh.
“For what?”
“Staying with me.”
“Whoever said I was staying again tonight?”
Without so much as a warning, his hand smacked my ass hard enough to make me yelp. “You’re staying.”
“You didn’t even ask me—”
I barely had time to say anything before his mouth consumed mine, kissing and sucking until we were both left breathless and wanting more. In all honesty, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this happy. The emotion was practically radiating from all my pores, and my mind had been on a high since he first kissed me.
“Ter, would you stay with me tonight? I’d love nothing more than to spend an evening staring into your beautiful blue eyes.”
“You’re so over the top,” I replied with a laugh.
“I’m sorry, but are you actually complaining?”
“Not really, but you know I’m going to stay.”
“Are you being nice to me because I made you very happy a little while ago?”
“Maybe I just like you. Ever think of that?”
He pinned me to the wall of his shower as he pressed his hips against mine. “I like you too.”
My body’s natural reflex was to keep him as close to me as possible. Hooking my leg around his thigh, I intensified our hold on one another.
“Do you think we ruined your sheets and comforter?”
“Does it look like I fucking care?” he questioned, nipping at the curve of my shoulder.
“Honestly, you seem much more interested in me.”
He left kiss after kiss across my chest. “Wow, that only took you, like, a month to figure out.”
“Shut up.”
“I can do that . . . or we could get out of here and do something else.”
Running my hands through his hair, I pressed my mouth to his. “I like that idea.”
Turning off the shower, we raced from the bathroom without even bothering to dry off. I crashed on the stained sheets with him on top of me. His bed was a beautiful sight. Each smear of paint was a memory of how our bodies had merged and moved as a singular being. Everything we’d been through had built up to this—the realization that we meant more to one another than just a friend.
His palms caressed my skin in a slow, decadent manner. He traced every inch of my body as if he were afraid I would disappear from sight.
“You trying to memorize the layout of my body?” I questioned playfully.
He stopped kissing the curve of my breast as he glanced up at me. “I’m trying to commit everything about you to memory.”
“That’s a nice thought.”
He gave me a sinful grin. “I think so too.”
I’d been with other guys before, but none of them had made me feel the way Ry did. His presence was captivating. And whenever he touched or kissed me, the sensation was overpowering. He was like the most addictive drug, and a voice in the back of my mind warned me that I would never be able to get enough.
But the look in his eyes informed me that he was equally hooked on me.
Lips locked, arms intertwined, Ry and I devoured one another with a sense of urgency that couldn’t be satiated.
Was this what it was like to be so wrapped up in another human being that nothing else mattered? The world could be ripped in half and I wouldn’t care. This singular moment was it for me. That and the man hovering over me.
After every curve of my figure had been properly worshipped, Ry spread my knees apart and slid inside me. The anticipation of experiencing our bodies fully connected to one another again was almost excruciating.
“Oh,” I moaned, savoring the feel of him.
His teeth nipped the base of my neck, and I tilted my head out of the way so he wouldn’t have to stop. Deliberately, his hips rolled into me, the pace as steady and incessant as the tide. Heat blossomed in my chest, shooting through my fingertips with each thrust. I sucked in a deep breath, my lungs desperate for air.
My consciousness was only aware of two things—the endless pleasure running through my veins and the fact Ry was its source. Part of me ached for him to increase our pace, but the other part loved his leisurely movements.
And there was no reason to hasten something that felt so good.
I dug my nails into the flesh covering his back as he pressed deeper inside me. My senses were already at their limits, yet I still craved so much more.
Love frightened me. I feared the way it would make me so dependent on another that my own happiness would be a direct result of theirs. My soul was a creative one. I thrived on art, light, and beauty. But I never realized how incomplete I was until now. For decades, I could have wandered the earth in search of redemption; however, such a fate would be impossible without him.
The one outcome I’d been trying to evade since the day we’d lost mom had found me nonetheless.
Gradually, he rolled his hips again, prompting my back to arch away from the mattress. We were already breathing the very same air, but every part of me yearned to be closer. It was as if his body were calling out to mine, like the whispered name of a long lost lover on the wind.
“Is that okay?” he asked, sliding his tongue past my lips to taste me.
“Uh huh.” My reply was half moan, half whisper. Too many wonderful feelings were bombarding my consciousness and it was hard to focus on anything but him. “More than okay.”
“Good.”
He grabbed my thighs and pressed them against the mattress to open my body even more. The new angle allowed him to push even deeper. I wasn’t sure if my body could handle anything better, but he was constantly bending and breaking my own limits. The feeling was indescribable. It was akin to view
ing a masterpiece, such as The Last Supper or The Mona Lisa, for the first time. Something within me was being changed irrevocably, and nothing would ever be able to surpass this.
His steady cadence only intensified my arousal with each fleeting second. But I didn’t want to be a passive player in this encounter. Ry needed to know that I wanted to return the favor. So, when he rolled his hips again, I thrust mine forward to meet him.
“Fuck,” he murmured in my ear. “That felt—”
I planted my mouth on the side of his neck, running my tongue down his flesh. “I want to make you feel as good as you’re making me feel.”
“It’s definitely working.”
“If you’re close, just go, baby.”
As if my words were crucial to conjuring his release, Ry’s body trembled above me.
Not to be outdone, he slipped his fingers between us. Fireworks lit behind my eyelids as he began massaging my most sensitive part. His touch forced me closer to the edge, and when a groan sounded from his lips, the remaining vestiges of my composure shattered. I unraveled with him, because of him, and when I finished shaking from the swells of ecstasy that overwhelmed me, we collapsed on the bed as a singular being.
Smiling, I kissed his cheeks, forehead, and even the tip of his nose.
“You seem happy,” he stated, burying his face in the curve of my neck.
“That’s because I am.”
“Good.” Before I even had a chance to catch my breath, Ry lifted me into his arms and headed in the direction of the bathroom. “I know I promised to cook for you after we finished showering earlier, but I really mean it this time.”
“I’m not exactly complaining here.”
“I realize that, but I also want to be meeting all your needs.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You met my needs and then fucking surpassed them.”
This time when Ry and I showered together, we managed to keep our hands somewhat to ourselves. But the task proved to be more difficult than what should have been possible. Although, there was no reason for me to be surprised. We’d had ridiculous chemistry surging between us since we chugged vodka and stripped down to our underwear in my dorm room.
By the time we ate and finished cleaning up his apartment, it was well after midnight. Lying on his couch, I rested my head on his chest as we watched a movie together. I was dressed in another one of his button-up shirts, and the fabric was like a second skin. I’d only worn his clothing a handful of times up to this point, but whenever I was surrounded by his scent, it felt like home.
“Is there anything I can do to help you with the show?” Ry asked halfway through the second installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Last week, on a whim, we’d decided to watch the entire franchise together. We’d already seen all of them, but it was way more fun to watch one of your favorite series with one of your favorite people.
“Just let me use you as one of my living canvases.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” he replied. “I think what you finished of the chains looked incredible.”
“I have to say that I was pretty happy with them too. I’ve never painted on anyone’s skin, but it turned out better than I expected.”
“Will Wren be painted to represent your mother?”
Lifting my head, I met his gaze head-on. “How is it that you always seem to know what I’m planning?”
“Because I’m fascinated with the way your mind works, and I want to not only understand your art, but also the inspiration behind it.”
“You’re amazing. You know that, right?”
“Am I?”
I nodded, unable to stare at anything but him. “More than you could ever realize.”
“I know you spend a lot of time at Wren’s apartment and that you sleep there most nights, but you can stay here too if you want.”
“Are you low-key offering me a drawer?”
He laughed, the deep sound floating into my ears like a perfect melody. “A drawer, a dresser . . . Hell, you can even have my room if you want it.”
I shifted over him until my legs were straddling his waist. He peered up at me with enough intensity reflecting in his eyes to catch my skin on fire. “And what if all I wanted was you?”
“Then you’re in luck, because you’ve already got me.”
“Ry.” His name was nothing more than a plea rolling off the tip of my tongue.
“What is it?”
“I need you to do something for me.” My teeth chewed on my bottom lip as I anxiously pondered whether or not I was bold enough to voice my request.
His thumb rubbed the edge of my lip gently. “Okay. What do you need me to do?”
Inhaling, I ignored all the doubts creeping into my mind. “Kiss me like you never plan to let me go.”
Tugging my chin forward, his mouth claimed mine with so much need that I could feel his desire for me radiating from his body into mine. Sometimes, kissing could be even more intimate than lying skin to skin with nothing but drops of sweat between. That’s exactly what this was like. I’d been stripped down to my most basic form and made anew.
Our lips stayed locked for a while, neither of us eager to separate. I asked Ry to kiss me like he never planned on letting me go, and he exceeded all of my expectations. The way his arms cradled me made me feel as though I was his most coveted possession. Wren had been right. I was in way too deep. Ignoring the chemistry Ry and I had only put me in more of a bind. I thought avoidance was the right path, but it just made it harder to stay away.
And now that I’d gotten my first taste, I was hungry for more.
Honestly, it seemed like a miracle that there was a guy who not only knew of all the pain I harbored in my soul, but who also understood it. Mom would’ve been proud that I was putting myself out there and taking a risk on something worthwhile.
Dad too.
When Ry and I finally got our fill, we separated from one another.
Tightening his hold on my shoulders, he made sure to keep me just within kissing distance. “Why did you ask me for that?”
Heat flooded my cheeks as he continued to stare at me. “Why did you give it to me without hesitation?”
The sly smile spreading across his face was one I knew all too well. “Because there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” he replied as if his sentiment were the most simple explanation in the entire world. “Which should’ve been apparent when I ran around campus stark naked because you asked me to.”
Giggling, I chewed on my lip to stifle the sound. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but that just makes you sound kind of crazy.”
“You’re the one who concocted that plan! Shouldn’t you be the crazy one?”
“I mean, you are entitled to your own opinion, even if you happen to be wrong.”
“You do know what the word opinion means, though, right?”
“I know what right and wrong mean, and you, sir, are wrong.”
His brow furrowed as he shook his head. “I should probably just give in now.”
“The path of least resistance is always the best route to take with me.”
“That sounded strangely like a warning.”
I winked and plastered on a smile to match his. “Oh, it is.”
A strand of hair fell in front of my eyes, and before I had a chance to move, Ry brushed it away. “Can we talk about something serious for a minute?”
The rate of my breathing quickened. I wasn’t one to engage in serious entanglements unless you happened to have red hair and freckles. Wren was the only person I ever confided in completely. But that hesitance also needed to change. I needed to grow up and find someone to rely on who hadn’t known me since I had braces and a wavy perm.
“Okay.”
“I know opening up to people isn’t easy for you. Hell, it’s just as hard for me, but I’m glad you told me about your mom.”
I nodded in reply while my fingers traced a small circle on his chest. “I’m glad you explained your past with your father.
I know how difficult that was for you.”
“I wanted you to know.”
I leaned in to press my forehead against his. “I feel the same way.”
“Good.”
“So, what do you want to do when the movie is over?” I questioned.
“Who says we have to wait for the movie to be over?”
I squealed as Ry grabbed my waist and flung me over his shoulder. There was barely enough time for me to realize we’d left his couch behind when he began sprinting for the hallway. I didn’t know what he was planning, but the tone of his voice left little to the imagination.
For now, we couldn’t get enough of each other, and part of me hoped that dynamic would never change.
His fingers tangled in my hair as the weight of his chest fully pressed into mine. He kissed me as if we were the only two surviving souls in existence. His touch was hot, heavy, and every other wonderfully explicit adjective in between. I’d always believed abstaining from a connection like this was imperative to protecting myself from the dangers of the heart. But not handing myself over to another had only kept me from experiencing life to the fullest.
“Will you stay tomorrow too?” he asked, his lips brushing mine.
“Just how long do you want me to stay?”
I trailed my hands along the length of his back. The sensation of his skin flush with mine was by far one of my favorite things. It was almost as if we’d been made to touch one another.
“A while.”
“Only a while? From the way you’re talking, it sounds like you want me to stay for a hell of a lot longer than that.”
He snickered at my comment. “Figured if I were truthful, you’d classify me as a creepy weirdo who belonged in an episode of Criminal Minds.”
“Oh, I most definitely would.”
“What will it take to win you over?”
I peppered kisses across his cheeks and mouth. “Who says you haven’t already?”
“That so?”
Shyness crept into my mind, making it difficult to answer him. Instead of speaking, I smiled and nodded my head. I may not have been capable of expressing my thoughts with words, but I did know another means of communication.
Not Without You Page 16