"Not until it was too late anyway," Sarah said. "Chloe was the only one with enough courage out of either of our groups to stand up and say it was wrong. So if we want to pass the blame game, there's plenty to go around."
They walked mostly in silence as they made their way outside.
"Now let's go," Sarah said. She started walking down the street without waiting and the others hurried to catch up to her. Brittney looked around as they walked towards the restaurant. It seemed unreal to her how many soldiers were in Phoenix, their vehicles parked along the streets, and the men themselves walking around as though they belonged there.
When they arrived at the restaurant, there was a waitress waiting at the door to seat them. "Do you have a reservation?" she asked politely.
"Yes," Brittney said. "We're here to meet some friends. They should be here already. Two men and a woman."
"Ah, yes," the woman said. "Let me show you the way."
She took them to the table where Wren, Samuel, and Heather sat. Brittney looked at each of them closely, wishing she had the Sight like Harper. She knew what they were, of course: Wren was a love fairy. She insisted on calling him and his kin as Cupid. Samuel was a shape-shifter like Sarah. She'd seen him transform into a large black bear. Heather was the only one she hadn't really become used to. She was a harpy.
"Hey guys," Wren said, standing and offering his hand out. "Thanks for coming."
They all shook with him, then with Samuel, and finally with Heather. Out of the three of them, Heather looked the worst off. She had bags under her eyes and her hair was limp. Brittney remembered that Miriam had been her best friend, and that Alec had killed her right in front of them all.
She wanted to feel bad for her, but she just couldn't. It was Miriam's fault, she thought. If it wasn't for her, Chloe would still be alive. She wasn't even thinking of the fire, though she could lay that at her feet too. The entire reason that Afterlife had come to Phoenix had been because of Miriam. Miriam... and these people.
They all took seats around the table and a waitress came by to take their drink orders. Brittney ordered a cocktail, as did a few of the others.
"So, here we are," Harper said, trying for a bright and sunny voice.
Everyone looked over at her, including Brittney. Harper sank back in her seat a little, surprised by the way everyone was suddenly staring at her, waiting for her to speak. She shook her head and looked at Wren.
"You asked us to come," she reminded him.
"I did," Wren said. "First and foremost, I want to make sure there are no hard feelings between us."
"Are you serious?" Conner asked. "Have you realized what you've done?"
Wren nodded. "Yes. Miriam paid for it with her life."
"So did Chloe," Sarah said.
"We've all lost someone," Samuel interrupted. "Whether we were right or wrong doesn't matter anymore, because we have problems, and we're only going to be able to solve them by working together."
"What sort of problems?" Brittney asked. "If you're talking about the quarantine..."
"I'll get to that in a minute," Samuel said. "For now, our biggest problem is still vampires."
"What? They're all gone now," she said.
"We thought maybe a hundred were turned," Wren said. "I'm beginning to realize that was a drastic underestimation. Harper, you can see them. What are the numbers like?"
Brittney turned her attention to Harper, who fiddled with her napkin for a moment before shrugging. "I couldn't say," she said. "I still see plenty moving about when I go outside. They all seem lost and I haven't heard of any more attacks. Maybe another couple thousand."
"Impossible!" Conner said. "There's no way."
"They're everywhere," Harper said. "They don't stay in during the day, because nobody knows what they are. It doesn't matter if their weak and vulnerable, because nobody's going after them. They're just continuing their lives as if nothing has changed."
"Miriam got her wish," Sarah said bitterly. "Phoenix is turning into a vampire state. If they keep spreading, soon everyone will be infected. They're hunting, aren't they?"
"See, this is where it gets weird," Samuel said. "I don't think they are. I think the only ones who were turning and feeding were the ones in that house. The rest of them were never told what they were."
"Alec wasn't told what he was," Harper said. "And he still fed."
Samuel shrugged. "And maybe some of them do. But I think for the most part, they've tried to go back to their lives and pretend nothing has happened."
"Then I don't see the problem," Brittney said.
"It won't hold," Wren said. "Sooner or later, a new leader will emerge, a leader like Miriam or like Thomas. Someone who promises them that they can be heroes or another who promises them that they can have power. Once it reaches that point, it's going to spiral completely out of control."
"That's the real reason for the quarantine," Brittney said. "The government knows about this, and that's why they're keeping us locked up here."
"My thoughts exactly," Wren said.
Conner shook his head. "If the government is involved, we're all screwed. They could decide at any moment that the safest thing to do is nuke the entire place."
When everyone turned to stare at him, he shrugged. "It's what I'd do if I were in their shoes."
"Then it's a good thing you're not," Heather said uneasily. The waitress arrived and passed out their drinks. "We're going to need a few more minutes with the menus," she said.
"Of course," the waitress said. "Take your time."
Heather nodded.
Once the waitress was gone, Samuel leaned forward. "If they were going to nuke the place, they would have done it already. Let's try and keep our voices a little lower. Unless you're wanting to spark a riot?"
Brittney glanced around and noticed people from other tables looking at them.
"I don't really care," Conner said. "Two of my best friends are gone. People that I loved. Just gone."
Harper reached over and put her hand on top of his. "So what are we supposed to do?"
Wren shook his head. "I don't know."
"Me either," Samuel said.
Brittney and the others looked at Heather. She shook her head. "No idea."
Everyone sat in silence for a few minutes, looking at their menus. Brittney barely gave hers a cursory glance before deciding what she wanted. She pretended to look longer, though, to avoid making eye contact with anyone.
Eventually their waitress came back, took their orders, refilled their drinks, and left them alone again.
"So you want us to help you," Sarah said. "And you don't even know what you need help with."
"That's the gist of it," Samuel said.
"Well, we can't kill a couple thousand vampires," Harper said. "There's just too many, and besides that, if they're not killing, we don't have any right to take their lives from them."
Brittney leaned forward. "You said they'd rally behind a new leader. So let's give them one."
"What?" Samuel asked.
"Why not?" Brittney said. "We find someone we can trust and we put them in the position of power. Get the vampires on the same page, behind someone who will continue to encourage them to live their lives without killing. If we do it soon enough, they'll flock together and be stronger for it."
"And if we find someone like Miriam? Or Thomas?"
"Then we kill them," Brittney said flatly.
"If we can," Wren said. "They're not going to be so easily tricked again. We got lucky with that fire stunt, and I think we all know that."
Brittney swung her gaze over to Wren. "We were not lucky," she spat out.
"I didn't mean it like that," he said. "What I mean is, if we put the wrong person in power, we may not be able to stop them next time."
Everyone slumped a little in their chairs. The truth was simple, Brittney thought. They were tired. They didn't want to fight anymore. They'd had that urge kicked out of them. Losing Chloe was bad enough
, but Alec leaving them was almost worse. Because he chose to go. He abandoned them.
"Screw him," Brittney whispered.
"What?" Harper asked.
"I said screw Alec," she said, a little louder and a little firmer. "He had no right to leave us in this mess."
Nobody contradicted her.
"So, how do we find this perfect vampire leader?" Heather asked. "I doubt they're happy with us right now after we took out the head of that army. I can't see many of them being willing to talk to us, much less agree to what we're asking."
Brittney shook her head. "I'm not sure yet," she said. "I'm still working on that part. But we're going to have to get out there in the community and work on repairing our relationship with the supernatural."
"How?" Samuel asked.
She looked around at the others. Harper looked discouraged, Heather was picking idly at her napkin, and Conner was staring off into space at nothing in particular. Wren was watching Samuel. Sarah was the only one who seemed completely interested in what she was saying. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, the waitress had arrived with a silver cart.
She quickly placed the meals in front of the appropriate people, offered refills on their drinks again, and then made herself scarce. Brittney thought the woman might be intimidated by them.
Once they were alone again, Sarah said, "Well, first of all, we need to approach them, and get them to listen to us, and to trust us. We can help them adjust to their new lives. Because even if they believe they're no different, they are. They're going through a drastic change, and people need support or they fall into bad habits."
Brittney studied Sarah's face for a moment. She had a feeling Sarah was speaking from experience; her day job was working with abused women, and while it wasn't quite the same situation, Sarah clearly thought some of the same rules applied.
Brittney wondered if the other woman was right, if vampires were like abused women. Well, they were both in situations that required delicate care, and they both had choices to make... of course. If a vampire made the wrong choice, someone died.
Wren nodded. "Once they trust us, and they get to know each other, they can form a community amongst themselves. They can form their own culture based on vampiric needs. Like night-time baby sitters, and store owners who can keep their businesses open for night time hours so they still have the chance to shop and work..."
"Yeah, exactly," Sarah said. "I mean, we can really help them with this."
"But at some point, they have to be able to run it themselves," Brittney said. "Because we're not always going to be there to hold their hands. We have to help them get a system in place so they can deal with problems that arise without bloodshed and violence."
"Two of vampires' favorite things," Conner muttered.
"Yeah, it won't be easy," Brittney said. "But Chloe gave up her life to try and help them. This is how we honor her memory. This is how we make sure she's not forgotten."
Everyone nodded their agreement.
Brittney realized for the first time in two weeks, she had spoke of Chloe without feeling a rush of grief. She knew her mourning period wasn't over, not at all, but she thought maybe she was ready to start living again.
They had things to set right in Phoenix, and she was going to make sure that they did.
FOUR
Later that night, Samuel pulled on his shirt with a huff. He glanced over at Sarah, who was still naked on her bed.
"I could stay," he said again.
Sarah shook her head. She hated when he suggested staying, and he made sure to offer every night.
"You know I don't want that," she said.
He pulled his pants back on and buckled them. "This is turning into something more. You know that as well as I do. Why keep denying it?"
"No," she said. "You want it to turn into more, so you're seeing something that's not there. I'm not interested in you, Samuel. Not as more than what you are now, which is a welcome distraction for the both of us."
"You don't mean that," he said. "When we're making love, I can see it in your eyes, I can hear it in your voice. You care about me. Sarah, I care about you too. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't know who hurt you in the past, but I'm not going to, okay? I want to be here for you. I want to help you deal with your grief, and..."
Sarah tuned out the rest of his small, rehearsed speech. Since Chloe's death, she'd entertained Samuel almost every night. And every night, it ended in the same way. They'd have sex, then she'd send him back to his own room. Every single night, he gave the same type of speech. Sometimes he mixed it up a little -- tonight, for example, he had added in the part about someone hurting her in the past -- but it all came out the same, and she was tired of it.
In fact, she was just tired in general.
He didn't understand that she couldn't handle the thought of him sleeping over. That would turn them into something more. It would lead to them being a couple, or at least being more than casual friends. Sarah was against relationships on principle; she didn't like the time and effort that went into them. She liked being alone, and picking up men at bars when she felt like it. But the idea of a real relationship... no.
But she wasn't stupid. She knew there was something between them. Something that could easily lead to more. In another life, he could have made her happy.
Didn't he get it, though? That was the problem. Sarah didn't want to be happy. Every time she found herself smiling, laughing, or even just sitting still thinking about her day, she would immediately be filled with guilt.
She shouldn't feel anything but cold emptiness and overwhelming grief. Her best friend was dead. If she thought of anyone else at this moment in time, what kind of friend would that make her? If their positions had been reversed, she knew Chloe would be devastated. She wouldn't be considering a brand new, sparkly relationship. No, she'd be...
"Look," she said. "I've told you before, I don't want you to spend the night."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't," Sarah said. "If you can't respect that, then maybe you shouldn't be coming here at all."
"Is that what you want?" Samuel asked. "For me to just disappear out of your life? To stop seeing each other?"
"Don't be like that," Sarah said.
"No, really," Samuel said. "I'm interested in what Sarah Carter wants. Because I'm getting a lot of mixed messages, and I have to tell you, it's really starting to screw with me."
Sarah sighed.
Samuel approached the bed once more and sat down at the end of it. He ran a hand through his hair, and looked at her.
"Sarah," he said softly, "I know right now you're hurting, and--"
"--Don't do that," Sarah said. "Don't try and psychoanalyze me, Samuel."
"You're hurting," he repeated, as though she'd said nothing. "And I understand that. I understand your need for companionship. If it helps you get through the night, then I'm more than happy to provide that small service to you. But it's not fair to either of us for you to pretend that we don't have some sort of spark outside the bedroom as well as in."
Sarah frowned. She grabbed her shirt from where she'd tossed it, and yanked it on over her head. "You need to leave."
Samuel shook his head. "I'm not going to leave like this. Do you think this is what your friend would have wanted? Do you think Chloe would have told you to just be miserable? That she'd want you to throw away a chance at happiness?"
"Don't talk about her," Sarah said coldly. "You didn't know her."
"No, I didn't," he agreed. "But I know she was a good person, because she was best friends with you. And good people don't want their friends to destroy their happiness because they don't want to get hurt again."
"I'm not afraid of getting hurt," Sarah said.
"You are," Samuel said. "You're afraid to let me in, because it might actually make you happy, and if you're happy, that can be taken away. I'm not going to hurt you, Sarah."
His words struck a chord with her. Sh
e thought of Chloe. Would Chloe have wanted her to send Samuel away? She knew the answer to that. She would have encouraged a relationship. In fact, she would have come to Sarah's room in the mornings after Samuel had stayed the night. They would have sat on the bad in their night clothes and sipped coffee and over-analyzed everything. They would have laughed, argued, and joked around about a million little things.
She felt tears fill her eyes, and she hated that. She didn't want Samuel to see her cry. She didn't think she could stand that.
"Get out," she said.
Samuel sighed.
"Get out," she repeated, her voice bordering on hysteria.
"I'm not going to leave you like this," Samuel told her again. "We both deserve better than that."
Sarah was nearly blinded by the tears at this point; she could hardly see through the watery blur that had filled her vision. She groped blindly beside her until her hand found something worth grabbing. It was the alarm clock. She ripped the cord out of the wall and threw it at him. "Go! Just leave me alone!"
Samuel got to his feet and tried to approach her. She grabbed a pen this time, throwing it at him. She scrambled out of the bed, acutely aware that she hadn't yet put on her pants. This infuriated her more, and she reached for more stuff to throw.
Samuel seemed to have gotten the message; he shook his head and turned to the door. He paused, wanting to say something more, but decided against it. The door closed behind him.
Sarah looked down at the glass in her hand. Then she threw it against the door and collapsed into sobs. Before she became completely hysterical, she transformed into her fox form. This seemed to calm her down a little as it dulled her human emotions. She curled up in front of the bathroom door, and closed her eyes.
If she had meant to make herself miserable in memory of Chloe, she had certainly succeeded.
FIVE
Conner decided to go for a walk the next morning before everyone woke up. He enjoyed the bitter winds that blew before the sun rose. He walked around, thinking about nothing, and doing little more than putting one foot in front of the other. He didn't even know where he was going until he reached the house that had once housed dozens of vampires.
A Phoenix Never Dies (Afterlife Book 6) Page 2