She would not stop until her loved ones were avenged. The look I’d seen on her face when little Nero had climbed into her lap, the panic, the confusion, must have been because she didn’t understand love and connection that wasn’t forged by battle. She had everything within her to be the perfect mate, the perfect mother, she just didn’t realize it.
She knew nothing but revenge. For fighting. For justice. She’d turned herself into something she detested in order to accomplish the only thing on her mind. Her sole focus.
Once this need for justice was complete, she would learn the truth of herself. I would show her she was more than just a machine out for vengeance. She would be protective of our children. Our legion. Our home.
But those were dangerous thoughts. She’d told me she did not want a mate, and what she’d just done, how she’d single-handedly destroyed a group of Cerberus, was indication enough that her focus wasn’t on those types of pursuits. Settling down, creating a home and a life with someone else? Creating children and the nesting and preparation that came with that? No, what female killed and maimed while eager to carry a child in her womb? Even if she were pining for an infant of her own, my bite was most likely lethal and she would not get a child from me. We could fuck, but I could never claim her. I could not risk her life. She could have died here on the streets, yet I was most fearful of killing her myself.
My soul cried for her, for what she was. Inside. She was a monster like me. A powerful, loyal, merciless monster. The most beautiful thing I’d ever fucking seen.
Ivy touched my shoulder as she walked past. “Come on, Zenos. She knows where to find me, and I really need a shower.” She turned around but continued to walk backward. “And that fuck you promised. Something about licking my clit?”
10
Ivy, Astra Legion, Zenos’s Private Quarters
* * *
I shook. Hot water poured over me, but the heat did nothing to soothe my frayed nerves. The adrenaline was bleeding away, leaving me edgy and twitchy.
I’d killed before, in battle, on missions, but never with such cold rage. Surrounded by those guys from Cerberus, I’d had a blood lust so intense I’d been hyper-focused, almost desperate for destruction. And I’d caused it. They might not be the ones directly involved with poisoning my unit with Quell, but they condoned it. Allowed it to happen. They were accomplices, the ones responsible for my units’ deaths, my suffering, the scars I carried like brands of shame.
And God help me, I’d seen Zenos’s face when the female, Jillela, had named me a monster. Hived-Up.
I hated that fucking term. To me, one who’d spent years fighting the Hive, it was a pejorative, as if getting the nanotech and integrations by choice was a good thing. Fuck no. The term was insulting, as if I were a traitor to my own people. When I’d had it done, it was true, it felt like I was betraying my unit all over again, as if I were killing each one of their souls for the sake of my own. I’d done it for them.
And I didn’t get Hived-Up. I’d lived. I was surviving, that was all. Sure, a quick fuck made me forget for a short time, but that was all. I didn’t forget. I couldn’t. Everything I did was for them. Revenge. Retribution. Justice. Even the integrations.
It was all for them.
The truth should not hurt so badly, yet it did. I’d done what I had to do to survive on that backward outpost after my unit went down. My will to live had overcome every other objection. I had taken what was offered to be stronger, better, faster and hid the shame. Until today. Until Zenos saw the truth with his own eyes, heard it from Jillela. He’d looked at me like I was less than human. Less than a Rogue hybrid. Less than the dirt beneath his boot.
I was. Yet I was more. I’d proved it with the destruction I’d left strewn behind me in Cerberus dead. I was faster than an Everian, stronger than an Atlan beast. More cunning than a Prillon commander.
“Damn it.” I punched the wall of the shower, leaving a dent in the thick metallic surface.
“Save your rage for battle, female.” Zenos’s deep voice stopped me cold, and I turned my head, looked over my shoulder at him. He was clean. Naked. Looking me over through the clear wall of the shower tube, his gaze lingered where the small cuts from Cerberus blades stung in the water. I purposely left my back exposed to him. He’d seen me naked before, but not like this. The stupid armor somehow highlighted scars, what I’d done. Little Scylla had pointed it out to me, how she’d seen my long scar even through my shirt. Zenos had known before that the markings on my body existed, from the first time we met on Zenith.
Now he knew why. Knew what the scars meant. He’d called me brave. Honorable. I was contaminated with Hive technology. Dirty. Vile.
I was even more rogue than Zenos. I was more rogue than the evil of Cerberus or Siren. Those legions might have zero morals or ethics and sell humans for coin, but I was the worst enemy of all: Hive.
“What do you want, Zenos?” I couldn’t face him. Not like this. Naked. Exposed. Real. What had I thought? I’d go all wild with my new integrations and he’d never learn the truth? That I wouldn’t care if he learned the truth?
Yeah, that was what I’d thought. I hadn’t given a shit what anyone thought of me until now. Until him.
Turning my face away, I rested my forehead against the cool wall and sighed. “Just leave me alone. I’ll be gone soon enough. You won’t have to protect me from myself any longer.”
Cool air was the only indication that the door had opened. Hands gripped my waist and lifted me, pressed my chest to the cool wall. Held me securely. I rested my cheek against the hard surface. “That is not acceptable, female.”
I spread my arms like I would if doing a push-up and pressed back. Hard. Using every ounce of my artificial strength, showing him exactly who and what I was. Reminding him since he’d clearly forgotten, even though it had been only a short time ago I’d left a path of destruction in my wake. “Let me go,” I snapped.
“No.” His hands rested over mine, his hot breath burning the back of my wet neck. “I have never seen a female more beautiful. You are a goddess of death. A gorgeous, vengeful goddess.” His hard cock pressed to my lower back, and I shuddered with lust.
He was hard for me? Impossible. I was a freak.
“What are you doing?” I pushed again. Harder. But he still didn’t budge. He was strong. So damn strong. Why was he being nice? He knew the truth now, that I was part Hive, part enemy. That I’d gone to extremes to live and used that to my advantage, to rip through a group of Cerberus.
His lips traced the outline of my ear, licked away the water on my skin. “Do you want me to stop, Ivy? Truly? Or do you want me to fuck you raw?”
Oh God. My pussy went into spasm, tightening, pulsing. Aching for what was pressed to my back. I needed it. I needed him to help me forget, to make me feel good for even a little while. To turn this hatred I had at myself into something better.
“Fuck me.”
There was no more talking. I didn’t want the truth. I didn’t want to hear it, to know what he thought of me now. With a groan he lifted me high enough to position his cock at my entrance and thrust deep. Hard. Fast.
I cried out at the penetration. The feel of being stretched open, taken completely.
I had nowhere to go, nowhere to run. I was trapped between a hard wall and a hard body, his cock filling me completely. There was no escape as he took me. He wasn’t gentle, but I didn’t want that. I wanted the rough jerks of his hips, the deep strokes, the slap of flesh on flesh. He consumed me. Filled me. Made me forget.
His fangs grazed my shoulder, and I cried out, my core clamping down on his cock like a fist from wanting them. Yes. God yes. I wanted him to fucking bite me. Claim me. He knew the truth now. Knew everything. Knew what I was, what I would always be. If he bit me now, claimed me, wanted me, I would stay. Fight beside him. Defend his people and his legion. Protect little Scylla and Nero.
All he had to do was one thing. Turn his head, sink his fangs deep.
; Bite me.
“Come now,” he urged, his thrusts unrelenting. “Come all over my cock, Ivy. Give me what I want.”
He thrust deeper. Shifted his angle. Groaned. I moaned as he pushed me to the brink.
“Come. Say my name. Fucking say it,” he snapped.
“Bite me,” I begged. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted what I wanted. Him. All of him. His cock. His body. His heart. His mating mark. His bite.
His venom.
“Do it,” I taunted. “Bite me.”
I was giving myself to him with those words. I’d give up everything, my need for vengeance, my need to roam, to drift through the galaxy alone. One little thing and I’d become his, give myself to him.
His fangs scratched the surface of my skin just enough to hurt, and I exploded, his name torn from my throat as I obeyed his command to come, my pussy milking his cock. Colors danced behind my eyes, my scream echoed off the thin walls of the bathing tube.
Bite me.
He was going to do it. Sink his fangs deep. Give me his essence. Make me his.
Fuck yes. I tried to gain purchase on the wall, but my fingers slipped. There was no purchase, no way to hang on to my control with him. Like my hold, I was willing to slip away. For him. Only him.
The thought made me come again, one orgasm running into another as he fucked me through it, fast and wild, pushing me higher.
With a groan he tore his lips from my flesh as his cock pulsed inside me. His cum filled me, scorching hot. Aftershocks made me tremble for long minutes as he held me pinned to the wall, our hands joined, fingers entwined. I had never felt like I was not myself before. Not me. The other half of him. Half of us.
So why were tears streaking my cheeks?
He’d given me pleasure but nothing else. Bite me. He hadn’t. He wouldn’t. Since he knew the truth of what I really was, of course he wouldn’t. Who’d want to be mated to me? Not Zenos.
I’d begged. Begged. And he had refused. Denied me. Again.
Swallowing hard, I willed the tears to stop before he could see them, thankful we were in the shower tube, the water raining upon us hiding them.
He wasn’t going to claim me. Ever. I had to make peace with that fact. I was Hived-Up. Contaminated. Less. Oh, he’d fuck me and help me work off the post-fight rush of adrenaline. He’d make me feel good, but now, when I’d hoped he’d make me forget all the bad in my life, it would only make me remember the one thing I could never have.
Him. I would never be his completely. I’d never be whole.
I should have heeded his original warning in the canteen. I didn’t belong here on Rogue 5, I didn’t belong dragging him to an empty room on Zenith and seducing him. I should have looked away from the gorgeous hybrid Forsian in the bar. I should have been stronger. It was too damn late now. I was in love with the big jerk, and he would fuck me—my aching, well-used pussy could confirm that—but not claim me.
Lesson learned. Message received. I wouldn’t ask again.
I was done.
When my body relaxed in his arms, he pulled free, rinsed us both off and carried me to his bed. The endorphins from the battle and from the sex faded, and exhaustion dragged me under as his fingertips traced the nicks and scars on my arms. My neck. He rolled so that I lay sprawled on top of him, a blanket creating a cocoon of warmth and safety over us. I didn’t say anything. There were no words left.
I was with him, in his arms, but we were separate, entities unto ourselves.
This was temporary, along with everything else in my life.
This wasn’t reality, this was another world. Another place. In this moment I was somewhere I didn’t have to worry about someone killing me or hunting me or demanding that I board a transport with my ReCon unit and charge into enemy territory. I didn’t have to think, worry. But I couldn’t help but feel. Not just his heated skin, but the hard planes of muscle beneath. The beat of his heart. Everything that was touching me but would never be mine.
His hand moved gently up and down my back, lingered on the marks I knew created a patchwork of history and pain. That were made by the enemy. That made me the enemy, in a way. That made me more rogue than he could deal with. He caressed me like I was a fragile kitten, and my body purred. It was impossible to resist, and because of it I was doomed. I sank into his heat, taking what I could get while I could get it, and I slept.
11
Zenos, Twelve Hours Later
* * *
“Are you well?” I asked.
“I’m fine.” Ivy walked beside me, her silence a mystery I had been unable to unravel since she’d woken in my arms. I had held her for long hours and stared at the ceiling as she slept, waited for the knock I knew would come to my door.
Jillela would deliver Ivy’s message, I had no doubt. I’d seen the fear in Jillela’s eyes, knew she was more afraid of Ivy than anything before. Perhaps she was even more afraid of her than Cerberus himself.
Astra would hear of what had happened, of the dead we’d left behind. I was not worried that my leader would chastise us. Ivy was a weapon of mass destruction that currently belonged to her. She would be pleased.
Cerberus alone was responsible for anything that went on in his territory, even a female destroyer. I had been acting alone. As a rebel. As a bounty hunter in league with Ivy. It may not have been known Gerian Eozara had a large bounty on his head before, but after last night, after what Ivy had done all on her own, everyone on the moon base, regardless of legion, now knew. Gerian Eozara was a wanted man.
Ivy would not be the last to come looking for him. Fuck that. Once word spread, there would be unmarked members of every legion taking their shot.
The bounty was exceptional. That kind of money bought ships—and not the decades-old, battle-scarred Coalition Fleet ships that had seen better days. One could purchase a new ship, with the newest and deadliest weapons. Cloaking technology. Speed. The kind of ship that could create a mini empire on Rogue 5. Gerian’s days were numbered. And while Cerberus might not hand him over to an enemy, their legion would not be excited about keeping him around either. His own people would want him dead for financial gain.
Soon Gerian would be one of two things—dead or long gone, assigned to a job somewhere else so the flow of bounty hunters seeking a big payday would stop. The last thing Cerberus wanted was strangers snooping around his legion causing trouble. Especially strangers like Ivy.
Ivy was the first, but she wouldn’t be the last, and she’d made one hell of a mess.
Cerberus was a mean fucking bastard. He was not stupid. He would not welcome more attention, more bounty hunters or challenges from the others on Rogue 5 eager to collect on the bounty. Cerberus would act, and soon. Very soon.
We walked to the meeting hall, escorted by Barek. He walked in front of us, Ivy in the middle, and I watched her back. It was instinct, and I didn’t ever want to be anywhere else. After the night before and what she’d done, I had to wonder if she needed me. She was so fucking self-sufficient, so brave and strong. She could handle anything. Yet I wasn’t going anywhere.
“What’s going on, Barek?” she asked.
He glanced over his shoulder at her, saying nothing, his rumble of displeasure did not improve my mood. Not with Ivy refusing to talk to me. I had believed I understood the meaning of her word fine, but she was not acting in accordance with the definition in my mind. Perhaps I needed to have my NPU checked to make sure the translation function worked well with Earth languages.
Physically she was fine. I’d run my hands over every inch of her as we’d fucked in the shower tube and later in bed. But females were complicated creatures. A few orgasms wouldn’t solve their problems. They didn’t have balls to empty, to lull the mind and sate the body.
They were complex, and Ivy was no exception.
Ivy appeared to be as impatient as I for an answer. “Did Cerberus send word?” she asked, pushing him.
“You two made a fucking mess, you know that?” Barek snapped, shaking h
is head. Ah, word had spread.
Ivy shrugged as if Barek’s words meant nothing. I could not hold my tongue.
“We were not wearing Astra’s colors.” As if that made the destruction she’d caused any better.
“That is why you are not dead.” Barek led us down a small corridor to a secured meeting area I’d seen many times before. Astra used the room for discussions with sensitive clients or high-ranking members of the other legions when discretion was required. The room held no more than ten, and the walls were insulated and scanned daily. No one would overhear. No sound spilled through the walls, and there were several tunnels into and out of the meeting space. Anyone brought inside was blindfolded and searched prior to entry so they would not attempt to find their way back again.
I’d once led a Siren messenger up and down the same hallways for over an hour to make sure he was well and truly lost prior to a meeting.
Some died within the walls, their screams did not escape. They entered alive, exited dead and were never seen or heard of again. I didn’t think we were walking to our deaths, but it was possible Astra wanted to rid her legion of Ivy. And myself, because I would die first.
The door slid open, and we followed Barek into the room to find Astra already seated at one end of a long table, Rhord and Nev behind her.
I paused in the doorway, took in the rest of the inhabitants.
Sitting at the other end of the table was Cerberus himself, Jillela standing behind him with another member of the legion a few paces back. They all seemed healthy and whole, meaning they’d either spent the time since we’d seen them last in a ReGen pod or had made liberal use of a wand. And at his feet? A male I assumed was Gerian Eozara, handcuffed and on his knees. Bloodied, possibly stunned into submission.
The Rebel and the Rogue Page 10