This is going to be good.
That was her last rational thought for a very, very long time.
CHAPTER SIX
“I REALLY DON’T UNDERSTAND,” Callie said sometime close to midnight on the twenty-third.
Keira and Dalton had arrived home midday. After throwing their bags in their room, they’d collected Adalyn and Logan, then driven to pick up Malcolm and Delaney’s twins. An afternoon of ice skating had been followed by dinner and a walk through downtown Seattle to see all the holiday windows. A little after nine, the families had been reunited with the added bonus of sleepy children. Now Keira was helping her sister with the last-minute wrapping.
They had presents laid out on the kitchen counters and were using the table as their wrapping station.
“I’m not sure what’s hard to understand,” Keira told her as she set the stack of coloring books in the center of the paper she’d already cut. “I’ve confessed all about Hugh.”
“I really am sorry about that. I wish you’d come to me and we could have talked about it.”
“I didn’t want to picture Santiago panting.” She shuddered. “Thinking you two did that was awful. The same with Malcolm and Delaney.”
Callie chuckled. “There’s no panting, I assure you. Not until childbirth. But my confusion isn’t about the sex. It’s about you and Dalton. You just had two great days together and now you’re going to go back to being friends?”
“Sure. That’s what we agreed.” Keira kept her tone as light as possible. She, too, was having a little trouble with the transition, but she wasn’t going to let anyone know that.
Dalton was worried about her—she could tell from the way he watched her. Their two nights together had been magical and amazing and all things wonderful. He’d been tender and passionate and patient, and the things they’d done! She’d had no idea it could be like that.
He’d done what she asked, and no matter how hard it was, she would abide by their agreement. She knew he cared about her deeply, but only as a friend. He’d made that clear more than once. She wasn’t his type, and no matter how much she might wish for things to be different, they weren’t going to be. The choices were simple—go back to the way things had always been or lose him forever. Which meant it wasn’t a choice at all.
She finished taping the wrapping paper closed then smiled at her sister. “I love him. I always have. He’s a great guy and a fantastic friend, and I want to keep that and him around. He did me a very lovely favor. I’m grateful, I’m happy and I’m perfectly fine with us being friends.”
Keira didn’t lie to her sister very often, so this was difficult, but she was determined. She kept her gaze steady, her expression happy, and thought about kittens and puppies and hot fudge sundaes.
“You’re sure?” Callie’s tone was doubtful. “You’re going to be able to go back to what you had before?”
“Absolutely. Once classes start, I am so looking for a boyfriend.” She grinned. “Just think—I may finally become the slut you’ve always wanted.”
Callie winced. “I didn’t say you should be slutty. Just that you should have fun.”
“I will. I promise.”
Her sister passed her a bow. “You are impressive. I couldn’t have done that—had great sex with a guy then walked away.”
“But that’s the beauty of it. I’m not walking away. Dalton is always going to be my friend.”
“You young people today,” her sister teased.
Keira laughed and put the wrapped present under the tree. “We are a puzzlement, aren’t we.”
* * *
AN HOUR LATER, the wrapping was finished. Keira made her way upstairs. She was exhausted but not sleepy. While her body craved rest after two nights of not getting much, her brain whirled and swirled and showed no signs of slowing down.
She ached for Dalton. She longed to go to him and slip into his bed. She wanted his arms around her, his mouth on hers. She wanted to make love with him until they were both exhausted. She wanted to snuggle close and hear him tell her that he loved her, that he’d always loved her. She wanted him to say they belonged together. That as soon as he was done in New York, he would take a job in Seattle and they would get married and be happy for the rest of their lives.
She wanted that with every fiber of her being, and it simply wasn’t going to happen.
She paused at the top of the stairs. Pain washed over her, silly foolish pain because she’d never once thought that she was anything but in friendship love with Dalton. Until that first second when he’d kissed her when she’d realized she love loved him.
She had no idea when she had fallen for him. The first day? The second Christmas? She wasn’t sure it mattered—she was stuck now, totally in love with a man who saw her only as a friend.
Well, fine. She’d been through worse. Being abandoned by her mother when she was twelve was a whole lot more awful, and she’d gotten through that. She had a great life. She was healthy and had family and was going to be graduating from college. She was going to spend the summer in Switzerland, learning about making chocolate from master craftsmen, then she would come back to Seattle and officially join the family company. She’d been blessed, and she knew it.
Oh, but she loved him, and it hurt to know he was never going to be in her life romantically. That was her own fault. If she hadn’t asked him to make love with her, she never would have known what she was missing, and wouldn’t that have been better?
Now was the time to be strong, she told herself. She was determined to make the rest of the holidays as perfect as they always were. No one could know she was shattered—especially not Dalton. She didn’t want to lose him. Better to have his friendship than nothing at all. Maybe friendship was the smarter outcome. They wouldn’t break up or fight. They were friends. The best of friends.
That decided, Keira dug deep for courage and practiced smiling until it felt natural, then headed for her room. If Dalton was already asleep, then great—if not, she was prepared.
Or so she thought. As she approached, she saw his door was open and that he’d put all the ornaments on the six-foot tree they decorated every year. The lights were on white twinkle mode, which made her laugh.
Dalton lay on the bed reading. When he saw her, he stood and smiled at her. “I had them on red and green earlier but knew I was playing with fire if I left them that way.”
“If you want red and green lights—”
“I should get my own tree. Yes, I remember.” He studied her. “Presents all wrapped?”
“It is going to be a banner Christmas. You remember we’re having Christmas Eve dinner at Malcolm and Delaney’s house tomorrow, right?”
“I do remember.”
As he spoke, he moved closer to her. For a second she thought he was going to reach for her, that all her dreams were going to come true. Only instead of pulling her close, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice gentle.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Are you checking on me again?” She did her best to summon a little indignation, trying to figure out how she would feel if she genuinely didn’t care that they were done being intimate.
“Is it because I’m the woman? Are you assuming I’m weak? Of course I’m fine. You were great. We were great. I’m super excited to go test-drive my new skill set.” She flashed him a grin. “There is this cute guy from the library. I’m going to go talk to him when the quarter starts.”
She held up a hand. “I’ll be careful. I’ll make sure I have condoms with me at all times. And I still won’t drink at parties. I’ve had a life lesson, but I’m not an idiot.”
She started for the door, then turned back to face him. “I think the bigger question is how you’re going to get over me. I get that I’m not one of your beautiful women, but I’m still a really good time and the sex
was fabulous, so hey, how are you going to move on?”
She waited, hoping desperately that she would see something. A flash of despair, a twitch of pain in his jaw, but there was only Dalton’s easy smile.
“Honestly, Keira, I have no idea.”
She held in a whimper and forced a smile. “That’s what they all say, big guy. That’s what they all say.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
One year later, four days before Christmas.
“YOU ARE A complete and total butthead,” Keira said by way of greeting. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”
She might not have seen Dalton in nearly five months, but there was no way she was going to forgive him. Ever. “It’s Christmas. You stay with us at Christmas.”
“It’s different now.”
She stomped her foot. “It’s only different if you change things. What’s wrong with you?”
It was nearly six in the evening, and they were meeting outside El Gaucho restaurant. The temperature was close to forty and it was raining—a typical December evening in Seattle.
Nearly three weeks ago, Dalton had texted that while he would be in town for the holidays—as opposed to remaining in Paris, as he’d originally thought—he wouldn’t be staying at her house. Instead he’d made reservations at a hotel. A hotel!
She’d argued, she’d pouted, she’d pointed out there would be no decorations, no late-night hot chocolate, no predawn shrieks as kids discovered what Santa had brought, no Keira! But Dalton had insisted.
It was because of that French girl, Keira thought bitterly. The one Dalton had started seeing at the end of summer. They’d already been together four months, longer than he’d ever been with anyone. Just thinking about Ophelie gave Keira a sinking feeling in her stomach. They’d never met, but Dalton had sent pictures. No surprise. The French scientist was stunning.
“You’ve brought girlfriends before,” Keira said, wishing her glare came with a death ray. She would enjoy the sight of Dalton’s head melting right about now. “What about Inessa? That wasn’t a big deal. I’m dating Max. It’s not like you and I ever dated. Why are you doing this?”
His normally relaxed expression tightened. “You really don’t get it, do you, Keira? I’m not some lost puppy to drag home anymore. We’ve both grown up and moved on.”
“Is this because you live in Paris?” she asked. “Is it a French thing? Is it that you’re now all that?”
Her eyes burned, but she was not going to cry, no matter what. She never cried—it was a rule. Okay, not including last year at the airport, but that didn’t really count.
“I know things are going to change,” she said, trying to keep her tone reasonable. “I expected that. Eventually one of us is going to get married and move on. We’ll still be friends, but it won’t be the same. I get that. What I don’t understand is why it had to happen now! I look forward to Christmas all year, and you’re a big part of that. I like having you next door and our tree and all the traditions. I don’t care if you bring stupid Ophelie along, if you’re there, too.”
She thought he would snap at her or tell her she was being naive. Instead he surprised her by pulling her close.
“I’ve missed you, Keira. You have no idea how much.”
This was better, she thought as she wrapped her arms around him. “I am pretty unforgettable.”
He chuckled, kissed the top of her head, then stepped back. “You’re right, I’ve been a butthead. I’m sorry. I should have talked to you. I promise next year, unless one of us is engaged, I’ll stay with you.”
She kept smiling even as her brain flopped down for the count. E-engaged? As in getting married? Were things that serious with Ophelie? OMG, no! He couldn’t... They couldn’t... She wasn’t ready for that.
Before she could say anything, a familiar dark gray sedan pulled up at the valet.
“That’s, ah, Max,” she said, hoping her shock didn’t show. “Do you need to go get Ophelie?”
“She went to do some shopping,” Dalton said, watching the tall man get out of the car. “She’ll be here any minute.”
Max joined them, and she made introductions. Before things could get too awkward, the infamous Ophelie arrived and greeted everyone.
They went into the restaurant and were shown to their table. Keira had the reflexive thought that Dalton couldn’t possibly afford the food here, only to remind herself that he’d recently licensed two different patents and was doing very well. His research skills were sought all over the world. The job in Paris was only for eighteen months, and she had no idea where he would land after that. Wherever it was, he would do just fine.
She glanced at Ophelie, trying not to be bitter about her gorgeous jet-black hair and dark green eyes. Ophelie was even more beautiful in person than in her pictures. She was thin, tall and elegantly dressed. Keira wanted to hate her on principle.
Max leaned close and smiled at Keira. “What looks good?”
“Everything,” she said with a laugh. “The portions are huge. Want to split something?”
“That would be great. Want a lemon drop?”
“Yes, please.”
She looked up and saw Dalton watching the exchange. “How long have you two been dating?”
“Six months,” Max said. “Almost seven.”
Dalton turned to his date. “They met in Switzerland, of all places.”
Ophelie glanced appraisingly at Keira. “You travel internationally? I wouldn’t have guessed.”
The slap landed right on the cheek, startling Keira. What on earth? No, she must have misunderstood.
“I had an internship with a chocolatier. I don’t know if Dalton mentioned my family owns a company that ships food all over the world. I want to expand our candy and pastry division and am learning about it from the ground up.”
“You don’t think Americans are already too fat?” Ophelie asked, her voice sweet. “Things are so different here.”
“Is this your first trip to the West Coast?” Max asked.
“Yes. I’ve been to New York, of course. Florida. I prefer the French Riviera. As for this trip, Dalton insisted we come here for the holidays.”
Her tone betrayed her dismay at his decision.
Keira shot him a look. He looked a little surprised but mouthed, “Be nice,” which she would be, but wow. Why would he date such a bitch?
They placed their drink order. Ophelie looked at Max.
“Dalton tells me you are on television, yes? You read the weather?”
Max smiled. “I’m the morning news anchor at a local affiliate.”
“And you met in Switzerland?”
“I was on vacation, and Keira was there for her internship. I heard her American accent and introduced myself. Turns out we both lived in Seattle.”
As he spoke, he took Keira’s hand under the table and squeezed.
“So you are a journalist?” Ophelie asked.
“I have a PhD in political science. Journalism was more of a hobby, but here I am. What do you do?”
“She’s a neurobiologist,” Keira told him. “Just like Amy Farrah Fowler.”
Ophelie made a tsking sound. “Do not say that name to me. I hear it all the time when I am in the United States. I am not a character from a ridiculous sitcom. How insulting.”
“The Big Bang Theory isn’t ridiculous,” Keira mumbled under her breath. “And you’d be lucky to be anything like Amy Farrah Fowler.”
Dalton shot her a look, but she didn’t care. Ophelie was icky, and Keira didn’t like her.
Dinner passed slowly, with conversation starting and stopping as everyone seemed to step all over each other. Ophelie never warmed up to any topic, Keira lost her appetite and Dalton got more and more quiet. Only Max seemed to have a good time.
When the bill finally came, the two men tussled over it befo
re agreeing to split the check. As the four of them walked out of the restaurant, Keira made one more attempt at pleasantries.
“What are your plans while you’re in the city?” she asked.
Ophelie sighed. “Apparently we are spending Christmas with you, although I have no idea why.”
“Tell you what,” Keira said before she could stop herself. “Consider yourself uninvited. Maybe you can get an early flight back to Paris.”
Instead of being insulted, Ophelie smiled. “That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I will check right now. Honestly, to get back home, I would fly coach. I don’t care, just anywhere but here.”
Keira tried to think of something to say, then realized it didn’t matter. Ophelie had pulled out her phone and was already checking for flights.
Tears threatened—tears she refused to allow. She didn’t care what the French bitch did—it was that she didn’t want Dalton to leave. He’d been so busy lately, as had she, that they’d barely spoken. She’d wanted a regular Christmas with him before everything changed forever. Only that wasn’t going to happen. What if their friendship was over? How was she supposed to survive that?
* * *
KEIRA GOT THROUGH the next few days by focusing on her family. She and Dalton texted a few times, but she never saw him and early on Christmas Eve morning, he texted to say he and Ophelie were on a flight back to Paris that afternoon.
She read the message three times before dropping her phone into her handbag.
That was it, she thought. The end of what they had. They wouldn’t spend Christmas together this year, and by next year, well, she had no idea how things were going to be.
Sadness gripped her. The sense of loss created a crater of pain in her chest, but she told herself she had to ignore it. When it came to Dalton, she was really good at denying her feelings, so she was well practiced.
She threw herself into the last-minute preparations. Malcolm and Delaney were giving their twins puppies for Christmas. Around the time Dalton’s flight should be taking off, she and Max went to meet the breeder at the Indian John Hill rest stop just outside Cle Elum. She petted the fluffy, sleeping eight-week-old labradoodle puppies before making sure their crates were secure in the back seat.
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