She stood suddenly, steadier on her feet then Jace would’ve imagined. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
He stood as well. “I’m sorry for upsetting you, ma’am. I really am.”
“I believe you.” She turned away, though, arms wrapped around herself as she gazed out the window. He had the feeling she wasn’t looking at what was out there but rather into the past.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The worst part of taking a long nap was waking up completely disoriented.
Kara opened her eyes slowly, wondering what day it was. Was it morning? It could be. But no—the light wasn’t right. It was too warm for the morning.
It was also too warm for early afternoon.
Holy crap.
She rolled over, feeling like every limb weighed a ton, and checked her phone. It took a minute for her vision to clear up, the numbers blurring a little. She blinked the sleep away, then gasped. Five fifteen! In the evening!
She had slept the entire day away.
Granted, she’d needed the sleep. Obviously or she wouldn’t have basically gone unconscious for nine hours. Somebody had been in to see her, too—there was an apple, a bottle of water, a pack of cookies on her nightstand. The sort of thing her mother would do.
She grabbed for the apple and took a bite, her stomach rumbling. She felt refreshed for the first time in days. Even so, she was a little bit embarrassed.
Oh God, Jace probably thought she was avoiding him all day.
Granted, that was how the whole thing got started. She’d been too embarrassed to go downstairs and face either him or Logan. On top of that was the fear of her mother finding out—she was no child, but there was still something gross and inappropriate about her mother hearing something like that, about her humping Jace’s thigh while lying on her bedroom floor.
There wasn’t a lot of noise going on downstairs. Hopefully, that meant everything had gone smoothly throughout the day. No emergencies just yet.
In spite of the apple and the cookies, she was still hungry by the time she finished eating. It was as good a reason as any to clean herself up and go downstairs. For a second, she thought of going back to bed and sleeping until morning seemed like a promising idea, but she knew she wouldn’t sleep until morning. Nobody could sleep that much at once.
As it was, she’d be lucky if she got to sleep that night.
She opened the bedroom door and gasped in surprise at the sight of Zane sitting in the hall, a paperback open on his lap. He grinned, offering a wave. “Good morning.”
She rolled her eyes with a snicker. “Okay, okay. I don’t make a habit of sleeping all day, in case you were wondering.”
“I wasn’t wondering,” he assured her, still grinning. “Hey, nobody could blame you for wanting to sleep through this whole thing if you could. You look better than you’ve looked in days.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment and not as a criticism of the way I’ve looked lately.” She stuck her tongue out, chuckling, then passed him on the way to the bathroom at the end of the hall.
Thinking twice, she stopped and looked back over her shoulder. “Is he gone for the day?” There was no need to say who she was talking about.
“He had a few things to take care of at the office, but he’ll be coming back. Probably pretty soon—he left around lunchtime. You were out like a light, so we figured there wasn’t much of a chance of you pulling an escape.”
She stuck her tongue out again before continuing down the hall. Yes, she must’ve needed the sleep, and it must’ve done her good. She was actually teasing one of the team members. Who ever would’ve guessed she would get to that point?
They weren’t bad guys. In fact, they were all very good guys. What Jace had said about Sal stuck in her memory. These were men who knew the sort of danger they were getting themselves into every day, yet they went to work anyway. They helped other people, even though it meant putting themselves in harm’s way.
Sal would be glad to see her in a good mood. He wouldn’t want her to mourn forever. Granted, it wasn’t like she was going to go skipping through life now, singing a happy song. There was still a hole in her heart, a hole that would never fill itself. Just thinking of him now, as she stepped under the cool shower spray, made her catch her breath.
He was really gone. She would never see him again. Never feel his knowing gaze as she tried to talk her way out of something. Never seek out his advice when something went wrong.
If only she had known it was the last time she’d ever see him. She would’ve hugged him, would’ve thanked him for being her anchor for so long. She would’ve told him she loved him rather than assuming he knew.
But she was finished crying. She couldn’t cry anymore. She’d cried enough in the last few days to cover the rest of her life and then some.
Zane wasn’t in the hall anymore when she peered out. He knew how to be discreet, bless him. She darted down the hall just the same, wrapped in an oversized towel. It was more modest than her most modest bathing suit, but she still felt shy.
Though if Jace had been waiting in her room, she would’ve dropped the towel in a heartbeat. Just the thought of it made her flush all over. She was surprised the water left on her skin didn’t turn to steam—especially when she looked down at the patch of floor where they’d been before Logan found them.
Maybe by the time he came back, they’d have the chance to talk over what happened. She wouldn’t apologize, and she wouldn’t accept any apology that came from him. There was no apology needed. She was an adult, and so was he, and they clearly wanted each other.
The depth of that wanting, the intensity of it, was still enough to take her breath away. Even now, hours later, she looked back on how desperate she’d been for him and how that certain something inside him, that deep primal energy that came out as he was kissing and touching her, had made her just about lose her mind.
She was his in that moment, totally and completely. She would’ve done anything he asked.
It was scary knowing she was that vulnerable because of him. It was an intoxicating kind of fear, though, like a roller coaster—no matter how scared she was of roller coasters, she never could stay away from them. The thrill was worth overcoming the fear.
And he was definitely thrilling.
Footsteps in the hallway sent her heart into her throat. She was halfway through getting dressed, but she froze. Was it him? Had he already come back? Was he looking for her?
No, it wasn’t him. The voice she heard outside her door was equally deep, though. “Has he come back yet?”
“No. They’re on their way, though. Sledge texted a few minutes ago.”
Were they talking about Jace? They kept walking, still muttering to each other—whoever they were—and she realized they’d gone to the next bedroom over. One of the house’s many guest rooms.
She was already halfway in the closet, which gave her a better chance of hearing what went on next door. Was it wrong of her to push some of the clothes aside so she could press her ear to the wall? She told herself it wasn’t. It was her house, after all—at least, her family’s home.
“I don’t know what they found, but it had to be something big. You know Val is never wrong about these things.”
So Val had been doing more digging. Of course, that was her job. Kara told herself not to take it personally.
“Whatever it is, I knew it had to be something major. Can you feel it, too? Things have changed.” Was that Zane? She thought it might be. If Jace wasn’t there and Sledge was wherever he was, it was either Logan or Braxton. Logan spoke with a lot more authority, so it probably wasn’t him.
“Sure, he’s been driving me nuts. My instincts have been on high alert.”
Who was he? Who in the world were they talking about?
“Me, too. I can barely think straight. I can barely hear myself think, for that matter. It’s never been like this before.”
“Can you imagine how Jace feels right now? He’s alr
eady been going nuts.”
“I gotta be honest with you. I hope that time never comes for me. I don’t know if I could handle it.”
It was like they were talking in code. Kara had to bite her tongue to keep from calling out, asking them to be a little clearer with what they were talking about.
“He said to be on alert, especially if Collins gets back before he does.” Okay, so they were waiting for her father to come home. And Jace was on his way too.
He’d found something pretty big, obviously. Big enough that he wanted a heads up if her father was already in the house before he got there.
Her palms went clammy. What could it be? She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
And even though she knew the team were only doing what they’d been hired to do, there was still a sense of loyalty to her father that she couldn’t shake. Would they hurt him somehow? Would they hurt her family?
She backed away from the wall and out of the closet. Sometimes, eavesdropping wasn’t worth the trouble, especially when a person found out something they ended up wishing they hadn’t.
Just how much of her life had been a lie or a half-truth? How much more was there under the surface? How much had her father fought to keep from her?
She finished dressing quickly, choosing an outfit at random. It didn’t matter what she looked like. What mattered was whatever was about to come.
She let out a choked squeal when someone knocked at the bedroom door. Her nerves were all over the place. Funny, she’d been in such a good mood while she was in the shower, even when she was thinking about Sal.
When she opened the door a crack, she found Zane standing outside. Any trace of what he’d just been talking about was concealed by his smile. “Just checking on you,” he explained.
It was a lie. He realized she must’ve been in there and suspected she’d overheard.
What was the point of lying back? There were already too many lies. “Jace found out something, didn’t he?” she whispered. “You can tell me. I just want to know. Should I brace myself? Should I maybe lock myself in here for the rest of the night?”
A mix of emotions played on his face. He was angry with himself for letting her overhear in the first place. He was embarrassed. He wondered if he should tell a quick lie or pretend he had no idea what she was talking about.
Instead of doing any of those things, he sighed. “Like you would actually stay in here. Come on.”
“Is it bad?” she asked, chewing her lip.
“To tell you the truth, I don’t know. Val found something earlier and called Jace. He wanted to go in and see for himself. He’s on his way back now. That’s really all I know. It’s not the sort of thing he wanted to talk about over the phone.”
“Should I be afraid for my father?”
“I don’t think so. Whatever it is, there’s probably a good explanation. But if I know Jace, he’s more pissed off about your father maybe not being as forthcoming as he could be than he is about anything else. In the end, he really just wants to make sure you’re all right.”
She knew she should defend her father then. She should tell this virtual stranger that all her father cared about was her safety, too.
But that would be stupid, childish, and it wouldn’t be the entire truth, either—she’d known that for a long time.
Her father loved her—that much she didn’t doubt for a second.
But she was not the most important thing in his life. Neither was her mom.
His career had taken that place a long time ago.
She was so depressed she forgot she’d ever been hungry.
She even managed to forget her curiosity over the other thing Zane had been discussing with Braxton, whatever it was that made the members of their team so different.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The last thing Jace expected to see waiting for him as he pulled up on the gravel roundabout in front of the Collins home was Kara. She sat on the porch swing, her feet drawn up under her. Her hair was wet, hanging around her face in dark blonde tangles. She wore an unremarkable T-shirt and a pair of jean shorts.
Though he knew better than to use a word like normal, he couldn’t help but reflect on how normal she seemed. More normal than he’d ever seen her before, for certain. No red wig in sight.
For a second, he was sure something must’ve happened, which was why he barely had the car in park before he jumped out. “What is it?” he called out to her.
She looked surprised. “Nothing,” she called out in reply. “I was only waiting for you.”
Great. Somebody had spoken out of turn. Who was it? Probably Zane—he never could keep his mouth shut, especially around a woman.
“Well, here I am.” He tried as hard as he could to affect a carefree attitude he most definitely was not feeling. “How was your nap?”
“Don’t change the subject.” She sank back into the swing, pushing it back and forth. The whole time, she never looked away from him. It was unnerving, the way her eyes pried into him, searching for something.
“I wasn’t aware there was a subject.” He stood across from her, leaning against the white, painted railing.
“What’s going on? Why are Zane and Braxton so uptight right now? They’re walking around here like they’re waiting for a bomb to drop. Is a bomb about to drop? Should I prepare myself?”
“I wish I knew what to say. I only know that you don’t have anything to worry about anything right now. I don’t want you getting any big ideas. Nothing so terrible is about to happen, so don’t worry about it. Okay? You can rest easy. Nobody’s going hurt anybody in your family.”
“It’s a little too late for that, isn’t it?”
“I guess it is. I’m glad Sal was able to reach out to us, at least. He did that one last thing for you. That’s something I meant to say today, but I didn’t get the chance.”
He wasn’t seeing things. She definitely blushed just before her eyes darted away.
She still had a few surprises up her sleeve. He should’ve known better by then. There he was, letting his guard down, thinking all she cared about was her father’s safety and their little makeout session that morning.
She blindsided him with what came next. “What’s different about you guys?”
“What?” It was like a slap across the face. “You change a subject faster than anybody I’ve ever known. It’s enough to give me whiplash.”
“I’m not joking.” And she didn’t sound like it, either. “What is it about you guys? There’s something different about you. Don’t pretend there isn’t. I felt it today. Earlier. Whatever it is; it makes you different. I just want to know what it is.”
For one brief, crazy moment, he considered telling her the truth. He was so tired of pretending to be who he used to be—just a normal, human guy, a veteran who now made a living doing what he’d trained to do in the service.
What was the worst that could happen? She was a smart girl. She was mature when she had to be. She had seen a lot of life, a lot of the world and how crazy it could be. Surely, she would find it in her to understand what had happened to him and his teammates, even if he could barely understand it himself sometimes. There had never been answers, no explanations. Nothing.
If she was who he was starting to suspect she was—his match, his mate—she had to understand. If she couldn’t, no one ever would.
Was he insane? Of course, he couldn’t tell her. Even if the time came someday for him to admit the truth, this was not the time. He was about to confront her father with the information he and Val had uncovered earlier. She would have more than enough to deal with pretty soon.
“Listen. I’m not saying we can never talk about it. I’m only saying that now isn’t the time. I need you to respect that.”
She scoffed, turning her face away again. He felt the pain in her and regretted it with every part of himself. Of course, she would pretend it didn’t hurt. She would act like she couldn’t possibly care less, but that was a lie.
“Kara. Look at me. Please, do me that much.” She slowly turned his way again, her narrowed eyes full of resentment. “I will tell you. I swear to God, I will. We can talk about this, but later. I think we both know there’s something between us—I’m not going to be a child about it and pretend it isn’t there. And you’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to be completely honest with, to share every secret with. But I have to remember something right now: I still have a job to do here. Right now, that job involves keeping you safe. My focus has been all over the place, and I need to rein it in. Do you see what I’m saying?”
“Of course. I’m not a child, either.” But she was pouting like one, wasn’t she? He held himself back, in spite of how satisfying it would be to point out the way she was acting.
“I just…” It was a struggle, finding the right words. “I know how much of your life you’ve spent being told half-truths and how frustrating it must be, knowing that somebody doesn’t believe you deserve honesty. Whether or not they think it’s for the best doesn’t really matter when you don’t know who to believe. Right?”
Her gaze softened, the tension draining from her body. “Right,” she whispered.
“I want you to know that I’m not trying to do that to you now. The answer to your question isn’t something I can just fire off. It’ll take a little time to explain. I’m not trying to be evasive. I’m not trying to keep anything from you. I don’t want to do that to you. Do you believe me?”
“Yes. I do.” And she did. Even his wolf believed it, and his wolf was never wrong when it came to things like that.
Anything else they might’ve said then was forgotten when the sound of tires crunching over gravel stole their attention. Kara stood, joining him at the railing as a pair of black SUVs pulled into the roundabout.
“Why am I so scared?” she whispered.
“You have nothing to be afraid of. I mean that. It’s just that there’s something your father didn’t tell us, and we need to discuss it with him. That’s all. It’s nothing even all that terrible.”
Wolf Shield Investigations: Boxset Page 18