Chapter Thirty-Three
It was finally over, and he barely knew where to begin to put the pieces together.
Braxton and Jace went out to dispose of the body—Jenna had deliberately turned away as they carried him out the door. She’d been pretty much silent since then, only answering when she was asked a direct question. How was she feeling, was she hurt, and the rest.
How was she feeling? He couldn’t begin to imagine.
She stood behind the chair in which her father had sat, her hands resting on the cushions. There might as well have been a wall between them, a wall that he knew he couldn’t scale no matter how he tried. To a point, she would have to deal with this on her own. He could only be present for her, could only listen and try to understand.
But he couldn’t fix it.
“Now I understand what Aimee must have felt.” She didn’t look at him, staring at the TV even though the sound had been turned all the way down. Not that she was watching. “I asked myself what it would be like to see a parent killed. Just… fall to the floor. Granted, she pulled the trigger, but still. I knew the guys were standing there. I could’ve warned him, but I didn’t.”
“No, you didn’t, and thanks to you, I’m still breathing.” He had the sense of stepping carefully, gingerly. Never knowing whether she was going to explode and wanting to avoid the fallout.
“Does that make me a bad person? Letting my father die like that?”
Oh, the things he wanted to say, none of which would’ve been helpful. He loved her too much to be brutally honest, so he chose to speak with as much diplomacy as he could. “No. Not if you believe you were doing the right thing.”
“It was either him or you,” she whispered. He noticed the way her hands tightened around the chair cushions. “What was I supposed to do? The father I remember died a long time ago—if he ever lived at all, which I just don’t know anymore.”
“He loved you. I’m sure of that much.” Again, he was softening his true thoughts for her sake. Yes, the man might have loved her, but he’d also made her life a living hell. He could’ve spared her that, but he chose not to out of some misguided sense of duty.
“I loved him, too.”
“Of course you did. Look at everything you did for him. The sacrifices you made. You proved your love for him every day, again and again.”
She snickered. “And look where it got me. Look what he did.”
Logan took a chance of reaching out to touch her and was relieved that she didn’t pull away. “Listen to me. You did what you needed to do. And because you didn’t warn your father to look out, you saved all of our lives. I mean, Braxton, Jace. Sledge and Zane. Marnie and Aimee, Serenity and Kara. Even Doc, Hawk, Val. He would’ve gotten to them too because they know the truth about us. Every single person would’ve lost their lives. You saved them. You saved me.”
She turned to him, pressing her face to his chest. “It’s over. It’s finally over.”
“Yes, it is. It’s all over now.” He hardly knew what to do with himself. What did a person do when they finally had everything they’d waited for? Everything they’d dreamed of, things they hadn’t dared to dream of?
Such as the woman in his arms, who clung to him like a life raft in the middle of the open sea. He clung to her just as tightly, needing her just as much as she needed him.
But there wasn’t much time for them to indulge in that sort of comfort since headlights soon flooded into the room through the windows. “That will be everybody,” he announced. “I called them all in. This is the sort of thing we need to get together on, to process together.”
Within half an hour, every member of the team was there with them, including Kara and Serenity who’d come in at the announcement of something vital taking place. Rather than gathering in the living room, where someone had just died, they went to the kitchen. There was more than enough room for everyone to be comfortable.
“How’s your head?” he asked Braxton when he came in from getting rid of the body. They would never talk about what had been done with it—that wasn’t their way. They had their standard practices, and that was enough.
Braxton shook his hand. “Better. If you hadn’t come up and chewed through the tape, we probably would still be up there right now.” Serenity slid her arms around his waist, her head on his shoulder.
“Is it really over?” Marnie asked, looking around. “That’s it? It’s done?”
“It certainly seems that way,” Logan confirmed. “He was the last link. The one who took over once Lydia was no longer a threat. There’s no one else left from the project.”
“Sure, there is,” Jenna murmured. She sat on a stool at the counter, her hands around a steaming mug of cocoa. “There are the women I was with. They could still be out there somewhere. Maybe they’re afraid.”
“We could try to find them,” Logan offered. “They deserve to live free lives, too.” He loved her for thinking of them, though it didn’t come as a surprise. She was always thinking about other people.
“What now?” Sledge asked, looking around. “What happens now?”
“That’s the thing,” Logan grinned, shrugging. “Whatever we want. Whatever you want.”
He stood back, looking over the familiar faces gathered together. Faces of people he’d been to hell and back with. “Every one of you has played an integral part in this, in Wolf Shield, in my life. I don’t want to say goodbye to any of you, not for any reason, but if any of you were to decide you want to go somewhere else, Lord knows I paid you all enough. You should be pretty well set by now. You have my blessing—whatever you want to do, I’m fine with it.”
Zane winced, chuckling softly as he looked to his mate. Aimee looked just as bewildered as anyone else. “You ever have a sense of the world being handed to you, but you don’t have the first idea what to do with it?”
“Leave it to you to say just the right thing,” Val chuckled.
“I don’t think this kind of decision can be made in a matter of minutes,” Doc reasoned. “For a group of people who spent so many years running, feeling like they had to hide, having freedom suddenly thrust upon all of us—even those of us who aren’t shifters—is… a little scary. I never imagined it would be.”
Logan imagined that the silence that fell over the room meant everyone generally agreed. Himself included.
Jenna slid from her stool, coming to him, snuggling against his chest. He was the king of the world again, holding her in his arms. There was nothing like it.
“I think if we keep relying on each other the way we’ve been doing all along, we’ll all turn out fine.” he decided. “Nothing has to be set in stone right now. Please, all of you, feel free to take as much time here at the cabin as you want. Wrap your head around this new fork in the road. Whatever you decide, you have my full support.”
Because family didn’t turn their backs on each other like that. They were most definitely a family.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jenna woke with a start, the roar of blood pumping in her ears drowning out everything but her heartbeat. It took a moment to get her bearings and remember where she was.
Safe. At the cabin. With Logan.
He stirred behind her. “You all right?” he whispered, his arm sliding around her. That was good. It helped slow the sickening thud of her heart.
“I am now,” she whispered back, snuggling next to him. She could do that since she knew he wasn’t going to ask for more. Neither of them had to confirm this verbally for her to know. She had nothing to be worried about.
Except her dreams. Her conscience.
“I’m here,” he murmured. “I’ve got your back. You don’t ever have to worry so long as I’m with you.”
And she knew this too. In her soul. Maybe it was the wolf who knew it best, who’d known it from the start. There was always something special about him, something that caught her interest and wouldn’t let go. Not just that he was gorgeous or built like a brick house.
It was that special spark in him, something made for her.
“I almost forgot to tell you,” she murmured in the middle of a yawn. “I love you too.” She smiled when his arm tightened around her, drifting back off to sleep with the thought of wolf training in the morning.
It had been Logan’s idea. Something to take her mind off things and a way for her to start learning how to control the shift. She’d rejected the idea of taking the pills and intended to hold on to that decision. It was time to stop living by half-measures, living in fear and doubt, shame.
Shame was too heavy a burden to bear.
They were alone in the woods the next morning, everybody else back at the cabin. He’d wanted it that way, and so had she—no sense embarrassing herself in front of everybody on the first try. “There’s nobody around for miles,” he assured her before ducking behind a tree. “And if anybody comes up, we’ll smell them long before they’re a threat. You have nothing to worry about.”
Nothing to worry about except for losing hold of her human consciousness and maybe losing complete control of herself. No big deal.
She took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes. The voice she’d heard at the hotel came back to her, floating to the surface. You know you are safe. Be as you are. As we are. Only the certainty in that voice was enough to inspire her to strip down to bare skin.
“You all ready?” Logan was almost overly cautious, making sure not to peek at her.
“It’s okay to come out and look at me,” she offered. “I guess you kinda have to if you’re gonna be walking me through this.” It was all too surreal, from top to bottom.
He stepped out from behind the thick oak then, and she tried not to react too obviously to his incredible… everything. From head to toe, he had a body begging to be explored, almost too perfect, the definition of his muscles like they’d been sculpted.
From the way his jaw dropped, he was just as impressed with her. His gaze made her skin flush, and she crossed her hands at the apex of her thighs.
“Okay,” he whispered, sounding parched. “Um, first thing’s first. Letting the wolf in. Do you hear her?”
“Yes.” And she was howling away, panting over what was before her, what she wanted more than anything.
“Good. All it takes, really, is letting her in. I don’t know exactly how that will be for you. Sometimes, I imagine myself as the wolf. Sometimes all I have to do is close my eyes, and it happens. She’ll speak to you, let you know what you have to do.”
“Okay.” If she could only keep her heart from exploding out of her chest, this would all go splendidly.
“Close your eyes. See if that helps.” She did as he suggested, feeling around in her mind for the wolf.
You can come out, she thought, focusing all of her attention on the invitation. Then, she waited, wondering what she was going to feel, how long it would take before the wolf took her place.
As it turned out, it was over in an instant. When she opened her eyes, her vantage point was lower to the ground than before. She was on all fours. She looked down at the golden fur covering her legs, amazed.
Everything was… more. Clearer. Sharper. Colors were more colorful—the leaves on the trees were so many different shades, each of them clearly defined as she turned a slow circle. She smelled so many things. Earth, rot, the scent of something that must have just run past. Squirrel? Logan would have to help her differentiate between the scents.
And the sounds. Chirping, rustling. The water of the lake lapped on the shore, more than a mile away. She heard it all and so much more. It was overwhelming, almost enough to make her want to stop, to shift back. This was enough for now.
The only thing stopping her was the wolf standing a few feet away. Waiting. She sensed he was smiling, encouraging her just the way he would have if he could speak.
Suddenly, he turned and ran. What choice was there but to follow? It all came naturally, her legs working together like they’d been doing this for years. Jenna rejoiced at the feeling of freedom, the wind in her fur, the feeling that she could fly over the ground as she chased Logan through the woods.
Soon they came to a clearing, the dense trees opening up onto the lake. There was no one on this end—she couldn’t smell anyone but Logan and herself. He stepped into the water, looking back over his shoulder. Inviting her.
She could understand why when she took her place at his side. She looked down at her reflection in the water, the face unlike anything she’d ever seen in the mirror. Wide, blue eyes. She opened her mouth, baring her teeth. Impressive. Leaning down, she lapped up a bit of water with her tongue. Even the taste of it was better, cleaner.
He kept walking farther out into the water, paddling until he was a good distance from the shore. He then shifted, revealing a man standing in chest-deep water. Her Logan, smiling from ear to ear, proud of her.
Could she shift back so easily? The only thing she could do was try.
Closing her eyes, she imagined her human body. “Oof!” she cried out, coming back to herself while on all fours. She hadn’t expected that.
Logan’s laughter was soft, understanding. “You’ll get better at managing the shift back,” he promised, waving her further in. “Come on. The water’s great.”
It wasn’t the water that was great, stretching out before her, reflecting the clear blue sky. It was him, wrapping his arms around her when she reached him, holding her close to his warm, firm body, his heartbeat a drum under her ear. She molded herself against him, closing her eyes.
“What did you think?” He stroked her back—long, slow strokes that sparked a small fire in her core. She sighed, which he took as an invitation to move lower. He was tentative, careful, in case she wanted to stop him.
She didn’t.
Lifting her head, she found his eyes. They smoldered, darker than before, filled with desire. “I think,” she whispered, linking her arms around his neck and hopping up to wrap her legs around his waist, “that I need you to make love to me. Right now. I want this to be us, forever. Only us.”
He blinked. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” She cut off anything else he was about to say with a kiss, reaching down between them to guide him into her. He was ready, thick in her hand, groaning when she made contact. It was a helpless sort of sound that only ratcheted up the delicious ache between her legs. She could do that to him, and she intended to do it a lot more, over and over.
They stared into each other’s eyes when he reached her opening, holding the other’s gaze as she lowered herself inch by inch. He was thick, making her bite down on her lip as he filled her. Pleasure mixed with dull pain that soon vanished as she adjusted to his presence inside her.
“God, I love you,” he groaned before covering her mouth with his, plunging his tongue inside the way he plunged in and out of her, arms around her hips to move her up and down with his thrusts. There was nothing for her to do but hold on for dear life as wave after wave of mind-numbing pleasure radiated outward from the place where their bodies joined.
This was life, here and now—what life was really all about—coming together, creating something new. Something joyful and blissful and right, something necessary. Primal. She took his shoulders in her hands, her nails digging into his bulging flesh as they moved faster, water splashing between them.
Each thrust sent her higher, further into the stratosphere, and she welcomed it. Letting go, releasing everything that didn’t matter in favor of something new. Something she needed like she needed air. Someone she needed.
“I love you. I love you,” she gasped with each new invasion, sensing him coming to the edge as he lost his rhythm. She clung to him, letting him take her, letting the wolf use her as her wolf used him. The first tremors came on quick and she closed her eyes, letting them crash into her, the both of them breaking through together.
When she came back to herself, she was in his arms, still wrapped around him. He held her, supported her, his body trembling the way h
ers did. She lifted her head to look him in the eye and he chuckled. “Well. That was worth waiting for.”
“I’m glad you think so—same here, by the way,” she giggled, still breathless and wrapped up in the majesty of what had just happened. How that simple, essential act had bound them for always, their wolves uniting as their human bodies did. There was a satisfaction in her soul deeper than any physical pleasure.
She’d found her place in the world. She’d found her partner.
“I do love you,” she whispered, cradling the back of his head in her hand as they held each other, the water lapping against their bodies until their skin wrinkled.
Not that they cared. Not after everything else they’d been through together.
Epilogue
One Year Later
“I’m trusting your intel here, babe.” Logan cast a smirk her way, driving down the wide road and kicking up dust behind them.
“My intel is impeccable, and you know it.” She slapped at him with the back of one hand, though she was more interested in the map she’d pulled up on her tablet. “Another five miles, and we should come up on the camp.”
Her body tingled at the idea of meeting so many people like them. It had taken months of sorting and searching, new leads and dead ends, for her to finally reach the point where she was reasonably sure they’d struck pay dirt. A trailer camp that moved from place to place like a traveling circus almost. People who lived just outside society together.
What would they think when they found out there was no need to run anymore?
By then, many of the women who’d been held captive in the lab had mated, had children. They were like a family the way Logan’s band of shifters and wildly brilliant technicians had become a family. She certainly couldn’t judge these people for the way they live their lives, taking small jobs wherever they happened to land, bartering for goods, living among themselves, keeping their own counsel. They gave no one trouble, and no one troubled them.
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