“She wasn’t taking advantage of me.” I stop at the stairs to the basement. It’s dark and still looks haunted even with the new lighting we’ve put in.
“I’m not going down there. Show me the upstairs. Is there a bed?” she asks.
I squint my eyes, annoyed with her. “No.”
“So you were just going to lay her down on the plywood and give her splinters in her ass? How romantic, Mauro.” She laughs and the sound grates on me.
“I wasn’t going to sleep with her,” I bite out my words.
“Come on, you must find her attractive if you were going to kiss her.” She’s smiling at me trying to play it off like she’s teasing, but behind her smile there’s insincerity.
“Who wouldn’t?” I ask.
“Some wouldn’t. I mean she has that cute, smart girl vibe, but her sense of style is a little lacking.”
I’ve heard Cailin make fun of girl’s I’ve gone out with. Hell, she tore Jenna apart after we broke up, but I figured she was in the grieving stage of anger at that point.
“I wasn’t aware jeans and t-shirts were somehow out of style.” I remind myself that she’s been through hell these last few months and that I need to cut her some slack, so I walk up the stairs first, Cailin’s heeled boots sounding on the stairs behind me.
“I think it was a guy’s shirt.”
My patience snaps. “Enough Cailin. She’s my partner and yes, I find her attractive. Yes, I want to kiss her. Yes, I want to screw her. Am I screwing her? No. So put the claws away.”
She draws back at the top of the stairs. “I was only suggesting…”
I raise my hand. “No. You were judging. She’s a great person. Enough of the prom queen judging.”
Her eyes fall to the floorboard. “I just want to protect you. After Jenna...”
“I can protect myself but thank you.” I place my hand on her upper arm and squeeze. “I’m sorry, it’s just…” I shake my head not wanting Cailin to know more than Madison because that’s not fair. My conflicted feelings about Madison shouldn’t be discussed with anyone but her. “Anyway, there are three bedrooms up here.”
I flick the flashlight on since the sun has started to descend already with autumn upon us. “This will be one bedroom that shares a bathroom with this one.” We head to the next bedroom before turning down a small hallway. “This is the master.”
She steps into the space, eyeing the skylight. You can see right through the structure to what will be the bathroom.
“It’s a nice space.” She twirls around. “Hunter would have loved this.” A tear slips down her cheek.
“Cailin.” I sigh. “Don’t.”
It’s the whole reason I was never really up on her coming here. This was my dream with Hunter and now I’m living it out with Madison. That has to be tough for her.
“He always told me that he’d give me the modern luxuries we’d see on the DIY channels. A house we’d be proud to host cookouts and parties at. A pool for Devin and his younger brother or sister.”
Another tear spills down her cheek and I do what I’ve done the other hundred times I’ve been in this position with her. I wrap her in my arms, her head falling to my shirt, her arms tight around my middle.
“It’s okay. I know it hurts, but eventually the pain will fade a bit and you’ll find someone else to share your life with. I promise. And you’ll be happy again. Hell, he might even be better than Hunter for you.”
She pulls back, her eyes launching daggers into me. “How could you say that? He was your best friend.”
Shit. Sometimes it’s hard, knowing what I know, not to let my true feelings slip out around her.
I step back. “I’m just saying you’ll find happiness again.”
Shaking her head, she brushes the tears from her face. “Hunter was my everything.”
She says it like I don’t already know that little fact. She lived and breathed Hunter, practically suffocated him. Nothing was ever good enough for her. I was with him the nights he’d be exhausted on shift after being up the night before because they were fighting and Cailin wouldn’t allow him to go to bed until it was settled.
“I know. I know,” I say.
“If I’d had him for longer. Our time together was so short.”
She cries into my chest again and I lightly rub her back.
“HA!” a voice yells into the room.
Cailin steps back, startled, but I have no chance to move before there’s a body strapped to my back.
“You son of a bitch. I knew you were a loser like your brother.” Little hands pull at the strands of my hair and the more I twist to remove whoever it is, the higher she climbs up me.
“Who the hell are you?” Cailin asks.
“His worst nightmare,” she says, jabbing her knee in my armpit.
My t-shirt is choking me and though I could easily toss this girl off me I have no idea what the fuck is going on and it’s not in my nature to launch a woman across the room, doing who knows how much damage to her.
Cailin backs up closer to the corner of the room, afraid.
“Jesus, Lauren, get off of him!” Madison runs into the room, unpeeling her arms from my throat.
The person on my back falls down to her feet, and I straighten my shirt, turning to look at the culprit of my attack.
“We are so sorry.” Madison grabs Lauren’s hand and tries to drag her out of the room.
“I can’t stand to look at you. If you want to have some fling with some tart then go to your own apartment, don’t do it here!”
Madison’s cheeks flush the deepest red I’ve seen yet.
“Excuse me?” Cailin steps up, towering over Lauren. Not that it seems to intimidate Lauren.
“You heard me. This is theirs.” She points to Madison and me. “He should have the decency not to fuck someone in their shared space.”
“This is all really unnecessary.” Madison pulls at Lauren, but she yanks her arm back.
“Is that what you think is happening?” I ask Madison.
“No. I mean…I didn’t think she was here to you know…it’s not exactly very romantic.”
I want to remind her that it was a half hour ago when the two of us were surrounded with candles and Thai food declaring how much we’ve come to enjoy each other’s company in the past week.
“Lauren drove by and decided to stop in. She saw what was going on and called me. I sped back over here as quick as I could so this wouldn’t happen.”
Lauren jabs me in the chest. “Do you know how great she is?”
My gaze flickers to Madison. “I’m well aware, yes.”
“Well let me tell you…wait, what?” She stops talking, her eyes searching for Madison.
“Cailin isn’t some girl I brought here to show off this place to. Not that it’s really any of your business.” I take a step in her direction, squaring off with her.
The sheepish look I expected doesn’t appear on Lauren’s face. Instead, she crosses her arms waiting for a better explanation.
“She’s the wife of a fellow firefighter who died.”
Lauren’s arms fall. “Oh.” She bites the inside of her cheek. “But you were pretty cozy in here.” Lauren juts out her chin.
If Luca ever does go on his date with her, he’s going to have his hands full. I can’t fucking wait.
“Are you going to apologize now?” Cailin snarls.
“Lauren,” Madison pushes and Lauren rolls her eyes.
“I’m sorry okay, but you know she’s my girl and…”
“So she likes Mauro?” Cailin interjects.
“NO!” Madison screeches. “Lauren’s just protective.”
My eyes lock with Madison’s.
“Yeah, I’m just protective of her. You know she’s a hard worker and I don’t want some guy taking advantage of her. This has nothing to do with personal feelings.” Lauren walks backward toward the door. “Please carry on.” She steps out of the room.
“I’m really super s
orry for the misunderstanding.” Madison follows and the sound of their footsteps trampling down the stairs echoes throughout the house.
I want to go after Madison, but I know mixing business and pleasure is a bad idea. The war inside of me rages on and I’m not sure which side will end up the victor.
“What a head case.” Cailin slides her arm through mine. “I mean sending her friend here to attack you? Make sure she doesn’t go all Fatal Attraction on you.”
I blow out a breath and step away, letting Cailin’s arm fall. “I have to go. I have work in the morning.”
“Oh, okay. I should get back to Devin anyway.”
We walk down the steps and I lock up, noticing that Madison’s car is gone from the curb. I say goodbye to Cailin, see her drive off and climb into my truck.
My life was much simpler a week ago.
16
Madison
“Lauren, what the fuck?” I ask as we step out of each of our cars in the garage.
“What? I thought he was disrespecting you.”
“I told you already, I don’t look at him like that anymore.”
We head into the house, void of Vanessa because it’s after seven o’clock. Whatever job she’s working, she’s always gone by seven.
“That’s bullshit, Maddie. At least be straight with me.” Lauren sheds the shirt of her scrubs, kicks off her shoes, and heads up the stairs.
I follow her because I need to shower, too, to get a day of being at a work site off me.
“I’d be lying if I said he’s not hot as hell, but I have to respect that we’re partners. I’m not going to ruin that.”
She strips off her pants and heads into her bathroom.
“Just be careful. I saw the way he was looking at you and I don’t care what he says about that Cailin, she wants him.” Lauren shuts the door to the bathroom and I head into my bedroom to take a shower as well.
As much as Lauren can be on the impulsive side, I agree with her. Cailin’s intentions don’t seem pure. I’m surprised Mauro doesn’t see the signs that his friend’s widow is falling for him.
The water cascades over my skin, the warmth soothing muscles that have been working hard this week. I soap up my body, my mind wandering to our almost kiss.
The almost kiss I’ll remember for the rest of my life. The heat between us was searing. The way his gaze dipped to my lips and then met my eyes. How his tongue slid out to lick his lips in expectation of them being on mine.
Damn that Cailin.
When he said, ‘one taste’ like he was begging for one drop of water in the Sierra Desert.
I drop my loofa on the floor of the marble shower and my hand slips below my belly button imagining the weight of Mauro’s body over mine. His lips, his hands in exploration of every inch of my skin.
Five minutes later, my body shudders and the glass door rattles under the pressure of my other hand. An emptiness sets in, knowing my imagination and my hand are not going to ever be enough to quench my thirst for Mauro.
I liked it better when I thought he was an ass.
I step out of the shower and begin to dry off when my phone chirps from its position on the counter.
Mauro: I want to apologize for tonight.
I wrap myself in a towel and take my phone over to my bed, sitting down and leaning back against the headboard.
Me: No need. It’s really none of my business.
The three dots appear immediately.
Mauro: Should we talk about the kiss?
Me: There was no kiss.
Mauro: I wanted there to be. That’s what we need to discuss.
God, I wanted there to be, too, and if he only knew what my mind took the liberty of exploring moments ago in the shower, he’d probably be surprised at how dirty my mind could be.
Me: It was a moment of weakness. Just forget it.
Mauro: I don’t think it will be our last.
Me: We need to make sure it is.
Mauro: Madison, I want you.
My nerves tingle and an unbelievable feeling of euphoria fills every cell in my body.
Me: Mauro…
Mauro: Tell me you don’t feel the same?
Me: We should talk face-to-face.
Mauro: If we were face-to-face right now there’d be no talking.
I smile like a goon.
Me: We just need to keep a firm line drawn.
Mauro: So that’s a no?
Me: No to what?
Mauro: No to you wanting me. You don’t want to jump me?
Me: Maybe like Lauren jumped you a few times.
Mauro: LOL… I’m serious. I gotta know if I’m in this alone.
Me: Why do you have to know?
“Who’s that?” Lauren walks by in her pajama shorts and cami, her hair still tucked into a towel.
“No one.”
“Tell Mauro I can still kick his ass,” she says and heads down the stairs.
Mauro: I need to know that if I kiss you, you won’t pull away.
Me: You can’t kiss me.
Mauro: That wasn’t part of the buying agreement.
Me: I added the stipulation.
Mauro: We’re both adults here. We can handle it.
Me: Time to think with your other head, Mauro.
Mauro texts a laughing gif.
Mauro: Don’t be funny, that only makes me think with the wrong head.
Me: I think it suffices to say this conversation is going in a circle and will never end.
Mauro: It will when you agree to let me kiss you.
Me: I have to go get some sleep. And I believe you have to get up early for a shift.
Mauro: You’re gonna leave me hanging like that? I can describe in great detail what it will be like if you want.
The blush encompasses my entire body.
Me: Gotta go now. See you in a couple of days.
Mauro: I’ll be counting the minutes.
I shake my head and don’t respond because who knows what will spill out of his mouth next.
When we began this partnership, I figured my biggest challenge would be keeping my own attraction to him in check. I didn’t consider the fact that he might like me, too.
The next night, I’m vegging on the couch after a long day of grabbing samples from textile and paint companies. And when I say vegging I mean carrots, cucumbers, and celery with ranch dip.
I’m flipping through the channels by myself—Vanessa is gone again—and Lauren is out on a date—not with Luca. I breeze by Chicago Fire since that would only remind me of Mauro, but the ticker on the bottom of the screen grabs my attention. It’s a breaking news alert and with everything going on in the world today I figure I better read it in case I need to head for cover.
I sit up, squinting to see the small print when the words fire, high-rise, and danger catch my eye. It goes on to say that all available engines have been called because it’s out of control and there’s a chance the blaze will spread to the high-rise beside it.
All too quickly Chicago Fire disappears from the screen and a news anchor appears, the scene behind her reminds me of a war zone—emergency vehicles everywhere and a fire blazing out of control in the building behind her.
I swear my heart stills inside of my chest and I sit on the edge of my couch, my phone in hand.
One fire truck after another pulls in behind the woman, each raising their ladders up in the air. Some firefighters climb them, others run inside with hoses and masks on. Angry red and yellow flames pour out windows on the one side of the high-rise condo building.
I pick up my cell phone knowing I won’t get an answer.
Me: Mauro, please let me know when you get back to the station so I know you’re okay. I saw the fire on tv.
Is this what it’s like to care about someone who works in emergency services? I have more compassion for Cailin now and what she must have gone through every night her husband was on shift and then when she eventually lost him.
I lean back on the couch, t
rying not to let my worst fears invade my mind.
Hours go by and the news is no longer covering the fire, they’ve gone back to their regular programming while I pace back and forth. This feeling of helplessness is horrible. The waiting even more so.
I pull out my phone and look up where Engine Fifty-Five is located.
I shouldn’t go.
I’ll look like a loon.
I don’t even have to talk to him. I just need a glimpse of him when the truck pulls in.
I won’t sleep until I know.
I grab the keys off the table and race out to my car.
The street the fire station is on is lined with cars. There are some reporters hovering around the red doors, but they’re all shut, meaning the firetruck hasn’t returned yet. I drive around the block, circling back to see the same scene as before.
I decide to park on a side street. I don’t want to chance looking like a stalker around the firehouse, so I sit tight and decide that every ten minutes I’ll drive around the block.
And yes, in case you’re wondering, I’m fully aware that I am out of my mind.
The thought of something really bad happening to Mauro has me acting like a crazy woman. His friend Hunter died not that long ago in a fire at a commercial building that they didn’t know had explosives in it because it had been abandoned. It goes to show that anything can happen.
The sixth time driving around the block the bay doors are open with two firetrucks and an ambulance inside each one. The guys are taking their gear off and cleaning up the trucks.
Double parking for a second, I catch a glimpse of Mauro stepping out of his bunker pants. His face has soot on it and there’s a trace of blood from his eyebrow down to his lip, his hair a sweaty mess. But he’s alive and to me, he’s never looked better.
Vote Then Read: Volume I Page 214