That brought a smile to her face and she nodded. As much as I could see how her body, betrayed by her hard nipples, disagreed, Taylor knew how important this was. And I hoped she knew how much I would make it up to her later.
“I think maybe I’ll go to Roasters early then. I promised Eve I’d teach her and Jules how to make my apple fritters.”
With a nod, I pulled my keys from my pocket and handed them to her. “I’ll catch a ride into town with Eli and meet you there so we can ride home together.” She nodded and I added, “See you later.”
Waiting until she was back in the bedroom before I opened the front door, I mentally kicked myself for giving in to her. Not that I didn’t want to, but there was damn sure going to be a conversation before I fucked her. Because from there, there was no turning back. Not out of obligation or responsibility. No, after what just happened, having her would be like signing up for an incurable addiction. No therapy, no drugs, no woman would ever make me right again after being with her. Which meant she needed to be damn sure she wanted me without those hormone-colored lenses on.
I ignored their smirks (mostly Miles’) when I made it back out to the deck almost an hour after he’d told me to go inside.
It didn’t do shit.
“Restaurant isn’t even open and A-man’s already got a bun in the oven. Now that’s commitment,” Miles joked.
I threw one of the scrap towels at him, helping Eli lift the pile of sized and cut trek to be laid on the last corner of the deck.
He had no idea.
Hell, I still only had a vague idea.
Taylor was right - what she said earlier about how I didn’t need to let her stay. I didn’t need to take the couch or cook for her or take her to the doctors or stop seeing Danny. But that was the thing - I did need to. It was like when she showed up at my door, once the shock subsided, the only feeling left was that she was exactly where she should be - and that she’d always been mine.
“What are you thinking about?” Eli asked quietly as we laid down board after board.
“Forever.”
For the first time.
18
Taylor
“Taylor?”
I jumped as Eve said my name, her tall form reaching in front of me to open the oven and letting a wave of sweet heat plume out. The candied-fruit aroma of the fresh apple fritters stuck to the inside of my nostrils.
“Sorry.” I groaned, hitting the button on the timer that beeped obnoxiously before helping her unload the pastries I’d almost ruined.
Thankfully, apple fritters were very forgiving.
They’d been one of my favorite things to make and bring to Bible study on Sundays. Maybe that should have been the first sign… apples… of my fall from grace.
“You okay?” she asked, turning to me and wiping her brow. “You’ve been spacey all week.” Her eyes narrowed. “Did something happen with Ash?”
It had been easy, I thought, for this place to feel like home.
There had been no effort to fit in. And somewhere, between helping with the restaurant alongside Miles and Mick, my stomach hurting so much from laughter I thought I might puke, to spending my afternoons at Roasters with Eve, Larry, and sometimes, Jules, I realized that I’d wound up with a new type of family around me - the kind they always talked about in my church but never seemed to be able to accomplish.
“Did he say something?” I asked, knowing that the question would give away my answer.
Eve’s lips quirked up into a grin - she and her sister both smiled the exact same way. “You know he didn’t,” she replied, picking up one of the pastries, she held it out to me. “Fritter for your thoughts?”
I laughed. Even though I’d eaten far too many sweet treats since coming out here than I’d like to admit, Dr. Lee said the baby was still perfectly healthy and to keep doing what I’m doing.
And what I was doing was indulging in my desire - for pastries and Ash.
It was almost too hot to take a bite. Almost.
“You don’t have to tell me,” she added quietly.
But I wanted to.
I wanted to because as much as I loved Blake, this was her brother we were talking about. I didn’t know how to explain what was happening between us. I also didn’t know how to justify why I hadn’t told him yet.
Part of me felt like there was no good reason. That it was so simple to just sit him down and say ‘hey, this baby, it’s yours. Remember the nights you don’t remember? I was one of them.’
It felt like being explained how to fly a plane. It could make a world of sense. I could know every intricate detail about everything. Yet all of that goes out the window the moment those wheels leave the ground and you know that there is a chance you could lose everything.
“Sorry,” I gushed as my hand reached for her. “I do… want to talk to you… to someone. I just don’t know what to say.”
It didn’t feel right telling her Ash was the baby’s father. I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone else before I told Ash.
“My sister would say to say what you feel because feelings come first. Gotta know what you’re up against before you decide how to handle them.”
“I feel overwhelmed. Like I feel too much of everything all at once.” I sighed as I rested my hip against the counter. “Things… happened between Ash and me,” I confessed. “Things I’ve never done before. It was only one time that made this… I’m not… I don’t…” I huffed and patted my stomach. “Anyway, now, I feel like I want more but I’m afraid of wanting more and I’m afraid that he doesn’t want more. I’m afraid because more with me comes with a lot more than just me…”
She wiped down the counter in silence, thinking before she spoke again. When she turned, I could see that my confession was about to spark one of her own.
“I’ll be honest with you, Tay,” she spoke softly. “I’ve never been with a guy. After what happened to my sister and meeting the women who they help… I just… I’m holding out for Prince Charming.”
My eyes widened. My decision had always been religious. My path determined by the rules, not leaving any room to question whether the rules were always right.
Meanwhile, Eve was always friendly, effortlessly flowing between flirting and friendship with a bunch of the good-looking guys that came through here. Not that I’d seen her do anything more, I just assumed…
I don’t know what I assumed.
I just didn’t think she was a virgin.
I also didn’t know Addison’s story, but if it was anything like the ones of the women at Blooms, I could easily understand Eve’s decision not to jump into bed with just anyone.
“Anyway, this isn’t about me,” she quickly rushed to clarify. “But I just wanted you to know I really do understand at least part of how you feel - the part that knew nothing. The other thing that I know is that the way Ash looks at you… takes care of you… I know that is the something I’m waiting for – that is the something I’d give up my ignorance for.”
I shuddered, warming at the memory of how he did take care of me so well - like it was all he was made to do.
“But what if he doesn’t know something, Eve?” I whispered so softly, I’m surprised I could even hear my words. “What if he doesn’t know something about me that could change everything?”
“Taylor.” She gripped my hands in hers, warm and caring. “If I take this fritter outside right now and drop it, what happens?”
“You go to Hell,” I said without missing a beat.
We both broke into laughter – pastries were sacred.
“Okay, okay. Seriously though,” she pressed. “What happens if I let go?”
“It falls…” I half-questioned, trying to see where she was going with this.
“It’s kind of cloudy out today, but what if I did the same thing tomorrow when it’s supposed to be sunny?”
“Um… it still falls.”
“And how about in the rain? Or in the snow?” She pushed and didn’t
wait to hear the same answer. “How about up in the mountains? Or on the east coast? The North Pole?”
“It always falls, Eve,” I cut in.
“Exactly. That’s the point. Whatever you tell Ash could change everything about your world - it could turn it into a place you might not even recognize - but it will never change gravity; it will never change how that man feels about you.”
Oh my.
Before I could thank her, the door rang; the lunch rush was starting.
“Hey, Evie!” I heard Eli’s voice yell as we walked toward the front. “Is Larry in?”
We walked into the cafe area where some of the girls from Bloom were taking orders and making drinks. Eli and Ash stood, waiting, at the counter, and heat flooded my body seeing him.
“He was in earlier,” I offered, “but he said he was going home for a little—Oh!” she exclaimed and spun around, searching for something under the counter. “Are you going to see him? Dr. Shelly popped in right after he left and dropped this off; she said he forgot it.”
Eve handed over a plain white bag. I couldn’t see inside it, but the soft rumble of its contents indicated it contained pill bottles.
“I’ll take it.” Eli’s face tightened as he took it from her.
I knew Ash and Eli were going back and forth about Larry; he wouldn’t tell me about what though. Aside from the obvious reasons that Larry wasn’t a young man anymore but still held a stubbornness that didn’t fade with age, they spoke… sometimes argued… like there was more to it than that.
For all the people who Larry had surrounding him - who viewed him like family – I still always caught a glimpse of loneliness so devastating in his eyes it made my heart hurt.
“Alright, thanks,” Eli said with a hint of frustration before turning to Ash. “Let’s go talk to Dex. I’ll head over to see him later.”
When Eli turned to Eve to grab a coffee, Ash stepped closer to me, his hand reaching on top of mine that sat on the counter, fiery sparks shooting right up my arm and then right down deep to the achy parts of me.
Definitely more.
“Hey,” he greeted me with a voice that was coarse like coffee grounds and just as strong. “How’s your day?”
“Good.” I licked my lips because I really wanted to kiss him, always forgetting until it was too late the look it produced in his eyes. I always got snared by his feral stare. Equal parts hungry and possessive. No matter how many times he’d pleasured me, I needed him just as badly again, if not more. “When Larry was in, he invited us over for dinner on Friday. I mean,” I stammered, “I told him I would talk to you.”
“He did?” He looked taken aback.
I nodded. “And then he just laughed and said he’d see us on Friday for spaghetti and meatballs like he knew you’d say yes.”
“Yeah, we’ll go.”
I looked down the counter before asking, “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” He sighed heavily. “Just have a feeling that there are some people harassing him to buy Roasters and, not that I really think anyone could, but I don’t want them to take advantage of him. Or worse…”
A shiver ran up my spine. It sounded like he was more concerned about the ‘or worse’ part.
Ash
“It’s getting serious, huh?” Eli asked as we got back into his truck.
I said nothing for a moment, figuring out the simplest way to explain the truth.
“For me… with her… there was never any other option.” I looked at Taylor and saw forever. Always had. Maybe it was because I knew her family - knew what they expected. Or maybe that was just the easier explanation of how I felt about her back when making it through the next day was task enough.
“Because of the baby?”
We pulled out of town and headed toward Monterey Bay; Covington Security sat about halfway between the two.
“No,” I admitted. “I mean, of course I’m going to be there for the baby; I get that she’s a package deal now. But even before that, there was always just something about her. Baby or not, I’ve always known that at some point, I’d fucking risk it all just for the chance to make this work.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair as we turned into the parking lot. Every moment I spent with her, especially the ones with her panting underneath my touch, the need to make her mine with my body and my name strangled me.
But I wouldn’t rush it. No matter how the fuck it might kill me, she needed to be sure this was what she wanted.
She might be a package deal, but I was a fucking lifetime guarantee.
“That’s good, man.” He gave me a slap on the back as we headed for the entrance. “I think love looks real good on your ugly mug.”
I stumbled through the door.
Who said anything about love?
Was that what this was?
“But you didn’t hear him threaten Larry?” the man on the other side of the table asked.
Dex Covington.
Bond-like was the best way to describe him, not just in his perfectly groomed black hair, fitted suit, and quiet demeanor, but also in his tactics. Dex was the one who found the information - however it needed to be found. Ace was the one who decided how to use it; that made sense, too, if you saw him. Ace was big. Like SEAL team, fuck-you-up big. And the way they worked together had made their firm well-known and successful in a very short amount of time.
“I heard him say Larry wasn’t going to be around for long,” I repeated, letting the thread of frustration show.
“Yeah, but I can’t fucking go off on some jackass just because he called Larry old.”
“You could and you would if you fucking heard the way—” My voice rose angrily.
Eli broke in with his typical calm. “Hey, chill, Ash. Look, Dex, we know it’s not much, but it’s Larry. He won’t tell me anything and he hasn’t been himself lately. We have to do something.”
I clenched my teeth as Eli tapped his fist on the table.
“Did you even look into Blackman? I couldn’t find much. Doesn’t seem like they’ve been around for long. And I get that anything on the main strip there is going to be valuable property wise but why now? And why so fucking desperately?”
Dex stared at us both for a moment, the silence like nails on a goddamn chalkboard as he decided whether or not he wanted to tell us what he knew - and I could see that he fucking knew something.
“Fuck,” he swore, leaning over the table as he pinched the bridge of his nose before meeting our gaze again. “Look, of course I’m going to look into this for Larry. Christ, I’ve known the man practically my whole goddamn life; he’s been like a grandfather to me, to this whole town. Of course, I’m going to do something.”
“What do you know?” I demanded. I believed him but it didn’t make me feel any better about what was coming next.
He unlocked one of the drawers in his desk and pulled out a folder, hesitating a second before opening it.
“Blackman Brews was only created at the beginning of this year.” He pushed a few papers toward us with addresses and images on them. “Along with a few empty buildings that are nothing more than dots on the map. The best I can tell, the only thing they own with Blackman Brews stamped on it is the truck you saw him get out of.”
“Shell corporation?” Eli asked.
“Maybe. Or maybe just a brand new fucking business. I don’t have enough information to know.”
“But there’s more you do know…”
Dark brown eyes peered at me through slits as he flipped to another sheet. “Couldn’t find much on Xander Blackman, but in addition to visiting Larry, a man matching his description was seen at Rock Beach meeting with Vandelsen.”
“Shit,” Eli cursed and threw his head back.
I’d only met Larry’s son-in-law one time, but there was a cosmic reason his name was Richard; while Rich was one possible nickname to describe him, the more appropriate one was Dick. I didn’t know much about the Ocean family drama except that Larry di
dn’t speak to his daughter or her husband; Larry never wasted time on ungrateful people. The only person he cared about from that side of his family was Jules.
We’d all heard the rumors.
Rumors that whispered that Rich Vandelsen, and his resort, were expanding in ways they couldn’t afford – and that they were involved with illegal business to do it.
“You think he’s working for Rich? Or trying to buy the resort?” I asked.
Dex’s face was carved out of stone. Hard and impassive. “Not sure. Unlikely a coffee company – even a fake one – is trying to buy a resort. More likely they are working together but it’s hard to say whether Blackman is working for Rich or if it’s the other way around.”
“Larry is going to be pissed if he finds out we’re looking into Vandelsen,” Eli muttered.
My exhale was forced. This was a fucking shit situation and the look on Eli’s face told me that it was more than likely there was something shady at best - illegal at worst - going on here.
“Why? If Blackman threatened him – is working with him—”
“Larry doesn’t bother the Vandelsens and they don’t bother him. That’s what’s best for Jules, and that’s all Larry cares about,” Eli advised.
“They wouldn’t do anything to harm their own daughter…” I trailed off because Eli’s expression contradicted me.
“Some people will do anything for money and power – even destroy family,” he said hoarsely.
“Look,” Dex began. “I’m going to look into it. But I’m going to be fucking sure before we tell Larry, and before I confront Vandelsen. I don’t need to tell you that he owns people in this town – and those he doesn’t, he certainly has enough money to sway.”
A fair number of the Carmel police force were on Vandelsen’s payroll. Unofficially, of course.
“I’ll be in touch.” Dex stood as he spoke.
Vote Then Read: Volume I Page 244