22
Taylor
Lord, give me strength.
The floor crunched underneath our feet like coarse, dry sand. Only, it wasn’t sand. It was devastating debris.
Like layers of an onion, we stepped on levels of shards of glass, plaster, and drywall mingled with the shattered ceramic of plates and mugs, the crumbs of trampled pastries, picture frames, and photographs; and the deeper we got, the more tears spilled from the corners of my eyes.
“You sure you’re okay?” Ash asked for the third time in just as many steps, his own voice laden with shock and anger.
I stood tall and nodded even though my insides felt like they were being twisted in knots.
It felt as though we walked over the wreckage of an entire world – an entire community and history – in a single spot. Years of Carmel Cove, decades of the Ocean family, a century of this town that made me feel at home… all laid to waste.
“Taylor.” The crunch and splintering should have warned me, but I didn’t even see Eve coming until her arms wrapped around me and pulled me close.
I gave Ash a small nod, letting him know it was okay to release my hand so I could hug Eve back.
“I can’t… believe this…” I murmured in abject horror.
Somewhere between Ash telling me that Roasters had been ransacked and us arriving, I’d begun to think of it as a robbery – a busted open door, a few broken cups, the register open and the little money inside gone.
Even when we bypassed the police tape and the crowd outside, it didn’t change my expectations.
But this was no robbery.
Or if it was, the thief hadn’t been sure what he was looking for and decided to destroy everything until he found it.
Tables and chairs were everywhere. Mugs and dishes broken on the floor. Coffee grounds all over the countertops, the floor. It just seemed wrong - to have the rich, welcoming aroma of coffee lingering in a space that had been ripped to shreds.
Even pieces of the walls were torn apart.
What could they have possibly been looking for?
When Eve pulled back, wiping her tear-streaked face with no purpose except to make room for more rivulets, I saw Ash and Eli standing in a group with three bigger guys, who were speaking and pointing at a few spots in the room.
“That’s Dex and Ace Covington from Covington Security,” Eve murmured to me.
I nodded, having heard the names before, but now finally able to put them to faces – serious, scary faces. Handsome, but still frighteningly fierce.
As though he felt my eyes clinging to his back and the way my heart felt like it was failing me, Ash trampled over the sea of debris and put his arm around my waist, pulling me against him as a sob broke free.
Devastating wasn’t the right word for what this was.
Roasters was like the heartbeat of the town - and someone had wanted to destroy it. In some ways, it felt worse than desecrating a church.
In some ways, this was pure sacrilege.
He held me for long minutes as people moved around us until I was able to breathe with any semblance of steadiness again. And when I finally pulled back, his fingers handcuffed mine and threw away the key.
It took only a short time for me to realize, it wasn’t just for me that our hands stay tied together; it was for him, too.
There were also two policemen inside who wandered around like they were trying to look like they were doing something even though they appeared just as lost as I was. A few more seconds showed the only thing they really accomplished was making it difficult for Ash’s private security friends to find some real answers.
“Dex, this is Taylor. Taylor, Dex Covington.”
The large, lean man with slick dark hair was stark comparison to the other man, Ace, Dex’s brother according to Eve, who’d been conversing with them earlier.
Dex looked like a world-class businessman – or a world-class spy. His brother, on the other hand, who’d disappeared into the back with Eve, looked like a Viking. Blonde hair, half-shaved, the rest long and pulled back… He looked like the real Ragnar.
“Taylor,” Dex greeted me with a voice that was just as sophisticated and then focused his attention on Ash and lowered his voice. “This wasn’t a robbery,” he informed us.
Ash’s fingers tightened in mine. “What?”
Even though Ash might be uncertain, this man wasn’t. “They’re going to write it up as a B and E and robbery but look at it… this wasn’t just a robbery. They didn’t just grab the money and go…” Dex shook his head in disgust. “They were looking for something. Eli’s still trying to figure out if they found it, but the rest of this” –he motioned around us— “it was a message.”
“Blackman…”
I looked up to Ash in confusion, never having heard the name before. His expression indicated that he’d tell me later.
A loud, screaming hiss caught everyone’s attention and pulled it to Eve, standing at the espresso machine.
She stared at it for a second, her fingers trailing over its various knobs and handles, before she turned to us and said, “It’s okay… Pavi’s okay.”
I got to her just as she burst into another round of tears.
It was a miracle.
And of all people, I didn’t take that determination lightly, but there was no better explanation for why the espresso machine that belonged to Larry’s great-grandparents, that had sat here for almost five generations, remained unharmed.
“The police said we can start to clean up.” Ash put his hand on my shoulder. “Do you want me to take you home first?”
I shook my head forcefully. “I’m not leaving.”
Something flickered in his eyes. Something deeper than all the shock and sadness. Something pure and only for me. Something like love.
And so, we began to work in a daze of disbelief, the situation becoming all the more real with each broken piece of this place we cleaned up.
Eve and I had waded through the mess, sorting through what was salvageable and what wasn’t, and realizing one more small blessing in that none of the photos which had been hanging on the wall were harmed; their frames hadn’t been so lucky, but those could be easily replaced.
Until a full inventory was done, Dex couldn’t be sure what the intruders had been looking for, and that was going to take some time, given the amount of destruction.
At some point, Josie stopped in and brought us lunch because none of us had thought about stopping to eat. Even Baby Ragnar was too sad to complain.
The group of us worked through lunch, worked through the afternoon, worked while we ate burritos Addison dropped off and worked until even the sun called it a day.
We worked because it couldn’t be left like that. We worked because Eli had left for most of the afternoon, charged with making sure Larry was okay and keeping him away for now; the sight would have broken him.
There was still so much to be done… so much to be repaired. But Ash saw me fading even before I realized. Storming to the back with that possessive, no-nonsense face, he carefully pulled the box of undamaged mugs from my surprised hands and set it on the stove in the back, lifted me in his arms and gave Eve a curt ‘It’s time to go home’ before carrying me out to the car.
I should have argued, but I had no energy to. As soon as we stepped out of the building, reality set in that I’d been on my feet all day and only eaten and drank a quarter of what I should have. And even at that, it was nothing compared to the exhaustion I felt. Every time I thought about Larry seeing what had happened…
I was barely in the car before my eyes drifted shut in utter exhaustion.
“We’re home, sweetheart,” Ash’s murmur accompanied his arms worming underneath me to pick me up out of the front seat of his truck.
I hadn’t even realized I’d dozed off, that’s how exhausted I was.
“I can walk,” I muttered even as I curled in deeper into his chest.
It had been a long day. And not just in t
ime, but in emotion.
Minutes blurred as we stripped out of our dust-covered clothes and shoveled down leftovers sitting in bed.
We didn’t talk about it – about what happened. Exhausted and overwhelmed with emotion, there was nothing to say. And when he finally pulled me into his arms once more, my shoulders sagged against him and I felt the tears begin to well again.
“Hey.” Ash pulled me against his chest, tugging the covers up over us. “It’s alright, sweetheart.”
“I j-just keep thinking a-about Larry—” A choked sob cut me off.
“I know, Tay. I know. But he’ll be okay. This will all be okay.” He dropped small kisses all over my hair and face, finally settling on my lips for one of those soul-soothing kisses - the kind that make the world crumbling around you seem unimportant. “I promise you, sweetheart, it will all be okay. If there’s one thing Larry… and the rest of this town… knows how to do, it’s how to take something that looks completely unrecoverable and turn it around.”
I shuddered, feeling the comfort from his words.
I felt so full - full of emotions that twisted and turned inside of me begging for release. I knew I loved him before today. I knew I loved him before yesterday. I knew that a part of me had loved him even when he was broken. It was the part that had gone for him, that had taken care of him, and that had given him a piece of me because I thought it could save him even if it meant condemning myself.
But today was the last straw.
Over and over I’d watched how life threw things at me that I never could’ve planned for. Trials. Triumphs. Today, I realized that the strongest emotion I’d felt in the middle of all this tragedy was love. Because in the midst of utter destruction, it’s the only thing worth fighting through it for.
And I couldn’t go to sleep without letting him know that I’d fight through anything with him… for him.
My tongue thickened and my chest swelled. Thoughts of Roasters fizzling out from my mind.
It wasn’t the right time. I was beyond tired. Deliriously tired. We’d just spent a whole day in shock and recovery, and the end wasn’t in sight. I didn’t know if my legs existed anymore because I couldn’t feel them or really see them below my belly. And Ash was lying with his head tipped back against the wall, eyes shut as though maybe today was all just a bad dream.
It was definitely not the right time.
But is there ever a right time?
Or is it just that anytime is the right time for something like this?
“Ash,” I said softly, tipping my head up to his and waiting for his brilliant blues to peel back open. “I love you.”
They were just words and the world all wrapped up in one. And for the first time all day, I finally felt peace.
I felt his chest shake underneath me. His eyes glinted like the hottest blue flame as the planes of his face hardened as he, too, tried not to be swallowed whole by his emotions. I could feel the electricity in the air between us, in our breaths.
It had always been there.
And I had just given it a name.
“I love you, Taylor,” he said with a voice so hoarse and heavy with sincerity as he pulled my lips to his. “I love you so damn much.”
There was no question if I meant it. Or if he did. Too tired for wonders or worries, the only thing that was left had to be the truth.
I came here, to him, with a million questions and searching for answers but the truth was when love is involved, there is no question.
There was only him.
“W-What are you doing?” My breathy gasp hitched in my chest as small bursts of fire flared along my skin where his lips touched.
“Making up for all the years I should have been kissing you,” Ash growled as he pulled one of my nipples into his mouth.
How was I supposed to argue with that?
“S-Shouldn’t we be going to Roasters?” My small moan protested my own suggestion.
The scent of coffee still lingered in the air around us from all the grounds that we’d had to clean up yesterday.
I arched off the bed as his tongue swirled around the hard peak, knowing it had a direct line straight to the center of my sex that was feeling decidedly too empty.
I groaned. Roasters wasn’t even at the top of the list.
I’d told Ash I love him.
I told him I loved him, but I still hadn’t told him about the baby.
“Ash,” my quaking voice forced out.
Teeth closed down on my nipple and I shot off the bed as pleasure rocketed through me.
And just because I looked like a whale at the moment, didn’t mean I was pulling off any Free Willy moves. Or at least with any semblance of grace.
“Sweetheart, stop asking questions while I’m trying to make love to you,” he instructed against the sensitive skin of my breast before returning to his torture.
I let a loud moan of compliance slip from my lips. It was early; there was still time for this.
Closing my eyes, I felt him. His hard body wedged between my thighs. His mouth and hands covering every inch of my body. I was burning up - like telling him that I loved him was only half of the pact. I needed to feel him. I needed to burn the confession into his body with mine.
Hot, open-mouthed kisses trailed down the center of my chest, over my stomach, and landed squarely on my sex.
There was definitely still time for this.
My fingers claw their way into his silken disheveled hair, holding his tongue hostage against my clit as I moaned his name.
“Ash… please…”
I rose higher and higher, thrashing underneath him as my release just eluded me.
Then his mouth was gone as he slid up over me, replaced with the blunt head of his cock.
There was a split second where I wondered if he remembered what happened last night. What if he didn’t? What if he didn’t mean it?
“Know why you’re so wet for me, sweetheart?” he rasped into my ear, holding himself steady even as my hips brushed the slick entrance to my pussy against him. “Because you love me.”
My breath lodged in my chest, my gaze hostage to his as he pushed inside me. Inside my soul. Hard, consuming, undeniable.
“And I love you, Taylor.”
He did remember.
“Ash…” I sighed his name as he pushed up, careful of my stomach, so that he could shove that last inch all the way inside me.
Filled.
Every part of me was filled with him.
My sex. My stomach. My heart.
Ash grunted as his thrusts became less controlled. The subtle sheen of sweat glistened over the taut muscles of his chest. My hands dug into the sheets. I wanted more. I wanted to lick him and kiss him everywhere like he’d done to me. I wanted him harder and deeper inside me. I wanted to never let him go.
“I need…” I whimpered not even knowing anymore.
“Me,” he growled fiercely as he slammed his cock inside me, knocking against the spot that set off fireworks deep inside my stomach.
I forgot about breathing as the waves of my orgasm began to crest.
“That’s it, Pixie,” he bit out as his hips drove into me. “Come for me.”
He said it like I had any other choice.
My climax ripped my body apart as I screamed his name. Hot and cold, light and dark, pleasure and pain, I felt it all. Vaguely I heard his shout as his cock pulsed inside me, coating my insides with hot desire.
He pulled me to him as our bodies shuddered to recover, those same three words repeating from our lip unencumbered, unabashed, like they were no longer just the feelings we felt, but the air that we breathed.
Ash
I thought love would be one of those things you realize in the middle of some grand fucking gesture. On a beautiful island, in front of the sunset, with all the stars just waiting to shine above you.
Love wasn’t any of that shit.
Love is like any other addiction. It starts with one taste. One night. One ki
ss. And then it grows until it’s so much a part of you, you don’t know if you can exist without it anymore.
I could exist without it. But that’s all it would be – existing.
And I didn’t want to just exist.
I wanted to live.
And when we walked into Roasters yesterday, all of a sudden it was like watching my heart move outside of my body as Taylor worked to clean up the chaos. There was no pristine scene from a postcard. There was only destruction surrounding her. There was no sunset or ocean waves. There was only the heavy aroma of coffee, the crunch of shattered ceramic, and an audience of police. But none of that mattered because I only saw her.
The light that shined in the darkness.
That was when I realized she was always there.
Even in the darkest parts of my recovery, she’d always been there, in my dreams, tempting me to be better. When I couldn’t see the path in front of me, I followed her footsteps. I worked toward my dreams with one goal in mind, being the kind of man that Taylor Hastings could love.
It was an addiction.
It just so happens that this kind of addiction cured instead of killed.
“I don’t think I can move,” she murmured, her soft form moving against my chest.
I groaned. I didn’t want her to either, but I had to go.
“You don’t have to, sweetheart, but I have to get back to Roasters to meet Eli.”
I didn’t miss her wince as she pushed herself up to look at me and insist, “I’m coming with you.”
“Taylor,” I threaded my fingers into her hair, holding her forehead against mine. “You were on your feet for a straight twelve hours yesterday. You’re not coming today.”
“But Ash—”
“No,” I cut her off with a kiss. “I’m meeting Eli and Dex. Please, sweetheart, I know you want to help. You literally make my heart want to fucking explode the way you are so compassionate and generous. But I can’t… I can’t let you come today. And not just because I know your body is wiped but because of the baby.”
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