I knew it was hard for him. I felt it. Still, he stuck to soft touches and tender kisses, never letting them get within range where his desire would overcome his restraint.
At first, I was touched, thinking how loving and sweet it was.
But that sensation faded rather quickly when I began to ache to have him inside me.
I wanted that intimacy. I wanted that fullness. That pleasure. Mostly, I wanted him to make love to me now that he knew the truth.
Rubbing my thighs together, I asked, “What did he say?”
“He thinks he has some plans he did for the previous owners of this property.”
“Really?” I pressed, already losing focus on the question I’d asked as his shirt stretched and pulled against his biceps, the sinewed muscle tensing and releasing as he unloaded the dishwasher.
“They wanted to turn this into a guesthouse,” he informed me. “So, some remodeling and adding on. I’m hoping he can find them so we can take a look this week. We don’t have to do all of it now, but at least get some of the current space re-done before the baby comes.”
Even just talking about it, I found my worry begin to dissipate, knowing I wasn’t alone.
Knowing Ash was in this with me. For me.
And for our baby.
I came out of my thoughts when those strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me tight against my very protective and very hard man. And the temperature of my blood rose to boiling.
“Alright, Pixie,” he rasped, his chin bumping against my head as he spoke. “What else do we need?”
I groaned. “Do you maybe want to shower first?”
He laughed. “The list that long then?” He pulled back. “Or do I just smell bad?”
I shrugged with a sheepish smile. “Maybe.”
His head fell back, and I playfully swatted him when he feigned disgruntlement. Meanwhile, excitement brimmed in his eyes.
“Alright, let me rinse off real quick.”
It had been a debate up until that moment – whether or not I wanted to try my luck at seducing my overly protective baby daddy who had staunchly decided it was too dangerous with my condition.
Just like everything else that involved getting out of bed.
No matter how many times I’d checked with the nurse, Gwen, that all normal activity was okay for the baby.
But when his hand swatted my butt as he sent me a jaw-dropping wink - the kind that would melt more panties than #TeamJacob’s shirt-stripping scene in New Moon - there was no more debate.
Nope, definitely not, I told myself, following him and staring as he stripped off his shirt, revealing cut and corded back muscles and his perfectly sculpted behind.
When he glanced over his shoulder just before entering the bathroom, I gulped down my water, feigning innocence and fleeing his gaze so he wouldn’t know just how turned on I was.
Because if he knew, he’d beg me not to do what I was about to do out of fear. And I needed to do this.
For both of us.
With a confidence in myself and my body I hadn’t thought I lacked nor expected to find here, I discarded my comfy clothes in a tell-tale trail leading into the bathroom.
Inside, the mirror was almost completely steamed up. The thick, warm air was clogged with moisture like I was with desire. Heavy. Aching. Needing.
I pulled back the curtain to his truncated curse.
“Taylor!” He wiped the soap from his face just as I stepped fluidly inside the shower. “What the…”
I reveled in the way his voice died off like a shooting star – plummeting into nothing in a split-second.
My nipples, now a deeper red, tightened painfully under his stare that was doused with desire as he drank in my enlarged breasts.
For my own pleasure, I licked over my lips, watching how his cock began to thicken where it hung heavily at the base of the V in his hips. Lust turning the stiff length a greedy reddish-purple.
“Taylor…” he rasped, half in warning, half in wanting.
“I need you,” I told him bluntly as I stepped closer to him, sacrificing the view of his erection due to my stomach in order to be closer to him.
Large palms reached out and stayed me on the sides of my stomach.
Ash fought with himself and the war projected on the perfect lines of his face.
“But Tay… I don’t want…”
“You won’t hurt me,” I assured him, placing my hands over his own. “I promise.”
And then, with a new boldness I’d found in myself, I held his gaze and slid his palms up over my swollen breasts.
His nostrils flared.
He was slowly and savagely losing the last bits of his control, and it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
I felt the subtle tense of his fingers and even just the small flex sent a shudder rocketing down my body, pooling into fire between my thighs.
“Ash, please…”
A low groan reverberated from his chest as his thumbs brushed over my nipples.
My knees almost gave out, knowing I’d succeeded.
“Think you might be the only addiction I’ll never be able to resist.” Both hands plucked and pulled on my sensitive nipples and I cried out in pleasure.
Ash wasn’t the only one with an addiction.
The needing. The craving.
The constant thoughts of him when we were apart.
But I wasn’t ashamed of my addiction.
Because you should never be able to get enough of the very best things in life. There should always be more… always be too much. It was what kept us longing for the future.
“Was I gentle?” he rasped as his knuckles brushed back and forth over my nipples.
“W-What?”
“That night.” His jaw ticked. “Was I gentle?”
My eyes shot wide. It almost felt like he was asking me what sex had been like with another man.
Was it good?
Was he better than me?
Did you come?
Except the other man was himself.
“At times,” I gulped. I wouldn’t lie. That night was like sticking a needle into a balloon of desire that had been building for a lifetime: it could only release so gently.
“Did I tell you how beautiful your tits are?” He stared at them as he spoke. “Did I tell you how many fantasies I’ve had about them?”
“No,” I confessed, watching his face fall again. “But the way you touched and kissed them… it was heaven.”
Sharp blue eyes sliced to mine, melting me with the hottest blue flame.
“Tell me.”
My cheeks burned, regretting my added statement.
Closing my eyes, I went back to that night, the memories bobbing like buoys in front of me, hard to grasp onto when his hands were still toying with my breasts.
“Y-You kneaded and squeezed them.” I bit my cheek, feeling him do the same. “You made them so achy before you even touched my nipples.”
He plumped my flesh, his fingers avoiding the very tips as he asked, “And what happened when I did that?”
“I thought I was going to die… or maybe I had died.” I drew a shaky breath. “But I still wanted more.”
“You wanted my mouth,” he declared, and I nodded. “And did I suck on them?”
My eyes squeezed tighter.
“You laid me back on the bed.” My pulse raced. “You were so tense climbing over me, I wanted to touch you, but I thought I might break you.”
Ash shuddered under where my hands held onto his arms.
“You kissed over them until I thought I was going to lose my mind.”
“And then?”
“And then it seemed like you gave in.” I sucked in a breath. “And I realized I was going to die a lot more times that night when you first sucked on my nipple. I’d never felt so… much… and still needed more.”
I gasped loudly and my hand shot out to brace against the tile wall as Ash dipped his head and suckled one of the taut peaks into
his mouth.
“Like this?”
I choked out a yes as my other hand speared through his hair, locking him against me.
I whimpered as his tongue danced viciously over my flesh. It made my body so sensitive that even the water spray felt like tiny, teasing foreplay against my skin.
Even though he’d given in, I still felt his control. He let his body take… but carefully.
With his hands and mouth, he worshipped my breasts, telling me how perfect they were and how hard they made him. He told me all the things he felt like had lacked from my first time.
I wanted to tell him there was nothing lacking about our night together, except that he didn’t remember it, but I couldn’t find the words.
I took my first full breath in several minutes when his hand slid up around my nape and his mouth rose to claim mine, stealing away the oxygen I’d just reclaimed.
He devoured me and I arched against him, feeling the blunt head of his arousal poking against my stomach, hotter than the shower.
With harsh pants, his hands planted possessively on my waist. “Turn.”
It took two tries to swallow over the lump of need in my throat as I complied, facing the side wall of the shower.
“Hands against the tile.”
They were already on their way there… I didn’t trust my own feet when it came to keeping me steady while he touched me.
His fingers skimmed down the length of my spine, dragging all my nerve endings with them. But his touch fell away when he crested over the curve on my ass.
I shifted my feet slightly wider, knowing I was bared for him. Open. Wet. Waiting.
“So beautiful, Pixie,” he murmured, though he still wasn’t touching me. “And what about here?”
He dipped one finger along my seam.
“Was I gentle with you here?”
“I… you…” I shoveled air into my lungs but it didn’t seem to make a difference. All I could think about was the softest brush of his fingertip against my most sensitive skin. “You used your fingers, but not for long.”
He growled in displeasure.
I dragged air through my lips, bracing myself for the feel of his fingers once more.
“Ash!” I gasped when I felt the warm slice of his tongue along my slit.
“And what about my mouth?” he demanded as my heart hammered harder. “Did I savor your pretty pink pussy with my tongue, Pixie?”
My tongue felt like a thousand pounds and all I could do was shake my head back and forth.
He hadn’t.
“Then I was a stupid, stupid man.”
I opened my mouth to disagree but only a wordless gasp escaped, my eyes shooting wide as his mouth closed over me.
Spots flared in front of my eyes as I looked between my feet to see him kneeling, his hands sliding to grip into my thighs. My eyelids drifted shut as he explored and traced every inch of my sex, driving me insane with need.
“All mine,” he growled, delving his tongue between my folds again and spearing against my clit until I saw stars.
Small moans rolled off my lips in waves, rushing down my skin along with the rivulets of water. It felt like a million caresses, touching every inch of me as they went.
“Ash,” I choked out his name, my chest caving as my orgasm turned my body into a black hole of desire, sucking in every sensation without mercy.
His lips closed over my clit and I exploded.
Gasping in deep breaths, my only goal was to remain upright as his mouth ate up the rush of my release.
He rose from behind me, his hands securely gliding up my sides to hold me steady. With subtle encouragement, he tipped me farther forward.
My teeth sunk into my lip, knowing he always managed to fit so deep inside me positioned like this. My core, still pulsing from my climax clenched harder at the thought.
“Fuck, Tay,” he groaned, and I felt his head slide against my entrance, gently probing.
Everything about him screamed torturous restraint. It had been days since we’d had sex – days since he found out the baby was his and days since the hospital scare.
I could see it in his gaze each time it fell on me that he was desperate to claim me – to mark me once more, through it all, as his.
“And how about this?” He pushed just the tip into me. “Was I gentle with this? Was I gentle when I finally shoved my cock into your perfect cunt?”
He wanted to stay still – to wait for my answer – but he couldn’t. The warm suction of my body slowly inching him deeper inside me.
“Y-You were.” I angled my hips to encourage him. “Until I begged you for more.”
A low, rich sound escaped with his exhale. One of pleasure. One of need.
“I want to tell you I remember the first time,” he bit out. “I want to so fucking bad.” Regret laced the strain in his voice. “But it feels like every time is that time. Every time I’m inside you obliterates the last, and when I’m not here,” he paused, shoving himself deeper inside me for emphasis, “I crave you like I’ve never been in you before.”
“Ash…” I whimpered. I tried to push back against him, my sex squeezing violently, but his hands held me firmly.
“Gentle this time,” he told me as he rocked his hips all the way forward.
I sagged against his arms, feeling him bottom out inside me, his thick length pressing against that tender spot which would have me convulsing as soon as he began to move.
He groaned. His palm splayed on my back while the other secured my hip.
“Swear to God, Tay, your pussy feels like it goes to heaven every time.”
My mouth dropped open soundlessly as he pulled out and thrust back in. Slow and steady. Long and deep.
He was careful. Because of the baby. Because of our first time. And I thought being careful would make the pleasure less, but it only made me squirm and shake more.
The slap of his hips against my butt was accentuated by the water, our slick flesh gliding against each other as he claimed every inch of my body and my heart.
Hot tears spilled from my eyes, it felt so good. Him inside me. Finally knowing the baby was his.
Still gentle, his thrusts picked up their pace, rubbing against all the tender needy spots inside me. His hand slipped around to my front, skating down over my stomach to reached between my legs.
“Ash!” He plucked my clit and stars shimmered in my vision, another orgasm tugging me closer to its precipice.
He grunted and his control began to wither at my plea.
“I see you, Pixie,” he growled, the length of him growing and thickening inside me. “I’ve got you.”
The tender encouragement to let go spiraled me to the edge. The size of him stretching me was the kind of fullness I craved. My eyes jammed shut as the glide of him against my muscles created a symphony of pleasure inside me.
I whimpered as my body began to share, my release claiming me with the slow strength of a tsunami. And when his fingers rolled over my clit, the crash of the wave began, drowning me in the most intense orgasm I’d ever had.
My mouth opened, but neither a cry exited nor air entered. I was paralyzed by the unrelenting waves that seized through my body. The very peak of pleasure seemed to extend on and on with no break in sight, like the center of a piece of caramel as the ends were pulled apart, desperately clinging together until the very last moment. And then I broke, dragging in air as though I’d been held underwater for minutes on end.
My cries came in small pants as the pleasure spread like cracking glass through all my cells, making them weak and shaking.
I felt Ash’s fingers tighten on me and I felt the last few frenzied, rough thrusts as he shoved himself possessively inside me before pinning himself tightly against my womb.
His ragged shout echoed in the small space as the heat of his release flooded me in heavy, pumping waves.
I was still shaking when he slid out of me, helping my weakened limbs upright and pulling me into his arms – and i
nto the stream of water.
“This is Heaven,” I murmured and squeezed him tighter, feeling the baby begin to kick as though she agreed.
He pulled back to tip my face up and kiss the tip of my nose. “I don’t think so, Pixie.” My head was still slightly dazed with pleasure, but I still managed a small frown as I drowned in his blue stare.
He continued huskily, “Last I checked, God only sends saviors to Earth.”
Heat suffused into my cheeks as I fought back tears. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Tay.” His lips pressed tenderly on mine. “I’ll take care of us, I promise.”
“I know.”
Maybe it wasn’t Heaven, but happily-ever-afters certainly came close.
31
Taylor
It’s an odd feeling to see how the world continues to turn after a life is lost.
The wind blew my hair across my face as I directed the delivery men where to put the last of the patio furniture Ash had ordered.
The last thing Ash needed right now was to lose track of his dream because of grief.
And it was the last thing Larry would want, too.
“You know where he wants these, ma’am?” the leader of the three moving giants asked when I approached.
Nodding, I instructed them where to put the table and chairs, along with the outdoor heaters.
“Excuse me, does someone live here?” the bald mover asked, peering in from the door to the deck.
My brow scrunched. “No. I mean, not in this building. There’s a house on the property. Why?”
He held up his hand, pale pink lace pinched between his fingers.
“Well, just looks like someone lost a pair of underwear…” He trailed off and my face blazed red.
Ash had gone out and retrieved our discarded clothes from that night after we got back from the hospital, but he must have missed a piece.
“I-Interesting,” I stammered as I reached out and plucked the fabric from his fingers. “Let me… I’ll just take these and, umm, look into it… thank you.”
With my back turned to him, I could pretend like I didn’t hear his chuckle as he went back inside with the other two guys to finish unloading.
Looking at the wad of underwear, I thought back to that night – only a few days ago, but it felt like lightyears had passed. Then again, someone had died - someone who meant something to someone I loved.
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