Again, my eyes flash to Reese, who looks pissed but is managing to hold it in. I stand up, not to spite Reese, but to be there for Claudia. Something’s changed in her mood and I want to make sure she’s all right.
Walking with her away from the table, I don’t look back, fighting my instincts. Just inside an old addition to the structure, a long shuffleboard table stands. Claudia detours to the bar for change and I’m left to dust the surface. She returns with change and starts the machine. Standing at the opposite ends of the table, we wing it since neither of us really knows how to play. After the first game, I catch a glimpse of Reese. She’s sitting on the table with her feet propped up on a chair. Her back is to us as she talks animatedly to Vinnie. He’s all smiles and laughter in return. A crappy feeling comes over me. It’s been a while, but I recognize it. Shit!
I’m jealous.
I shouldn’t be over Vinnie, but I am. Is this how she felt seeing me in magazines, on commercials? Is this the legacy I left her with from our relationship? The memories of what she held on to? No fucking wonder she left. This sucks. I want her to talk to me like that—so freely, so happy. It’s exhausting to constantly be under the microscope of our circumstance. I want his freedom with her. I want a fresh start… with her.
Claudia is quiet. I’d almost venture to say contemplative. She wins, and while setting up for another round, I ask, “What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing,” Claudia replies, badass defensive attitude intact.
Staring into her eyes, her pupils are dilated, the darkness overtaking the green. I debate if I should call her out on it or let it go. Because of her mood, I feel the need to talk to her about it. “You’ve got to get clean.”
“I am clean.”
“You know what I mean. The drugs give the illusion of happiness, but when you really look at yourself on them, you’ve lost the joy inside.”
“You don’t know me, Danny. I take them to cope with this life.”
“You have an amazing life—a boyfriend who cares about you, a great career. You’ve broken through that barrier most models crack under. Don’t throw it away.”
She laughs. “Men age and they’re called distinguished. Women are called hags. There’s no hope for me, so I’ll take something that gets me through this when I need to.”
A well of hopelessness lives deep in her damaged parts. I’ve seen it in others, but not this close. She needs help. Maybe I can. “And you need to?” I keep talking while she shrugs unapologetically, “I think you like to distract yourself from what’s really going on.”
“I don’t like to think about it.” Her sadness permeates the desert air. “My agent says my career is winding down and I should consider going to school. Everything is bullshit, Danny.” She puts her arms out wide. “An illusion of glamour and money.”
“Your mind is playing tricks on you because of the drugs.”
“Well, it’s a fabulous fucking trick,” she says perking up. “Want to join me?”
“I prefer reality.”
“I bet I could get your girlfriend to join me.”
Too close. I feel a growl rumble through my chest. There’s something in her eyes that’s sinister and my guard goes up. My words come out more protective than casual. “Leave her out of this. She talks a big game, but she doesn’t mean anything by it.”
“Touchy touchy.” She starts to walk away, but stops and adds, “Have you ever destroyed a hotel room, fucked someone in a public bathroom, done coke just because you want to? Just live—wildly and in the moment? Been authentic?”
I pause, not comfortable with the conversation. “Living an illusion isn’t being authentic, Claudia. It’s being pretentious.”
“This illusion is so much prettier than my reality.” She pats my chest and returns to the table. I overhear her say, “Light it up, bitches. Let’s get this party started.” Claudia takes the bottle and tilts it back, downing more than a shot.
I take it away and set it on the table. “We have the shoot tomorrow. Maybe we should go.”
Reese’s glass is empty and she leans back, staring at me. “It just got fun.”
“Don’t be a party pooper, Model Danny,” Vinnie says, adding to the obnoxiousness.
I double-check the bottle. Yep, there’s barely any left. “Did you guys down this while we were gone?”
Reese laughs and pokes me. “Maybe. I’ll buy you a drink.”
She gets up and brushes against me as she passes. I’m quick and stop her from leaving. “I’m good. I think we should go though.”
Claudia gets up and dances behind Vinnie.
Reese throws her arms into the air. “I love to dance.”
Did I just walk into a twilight zone? What the fuck is going on with everyone? “I think the desert air is messing with you.”
She laughs. “You’re right. This clean air is making me loopy.”
“I need to get you out of here before you do something dumb.”
“I’ve already done enough dumb for a lifetime.” Her finger touches my temple and she slowly drags it down around my jaw and taps me on the chin. With a little lick of her lips, she then smiles just for me. Something erotic, something brave, maybe that’s freedom seen in her eyes before she says, “Now I want to have some fun.”
For her sake, she’s lucky we’re not alone or I’d be all over her and that goddamn tempting tongue.
A weathered cowboy with a large chip sitting squarely on his shoulder under his wide-brimmed hat approaches just as I reach for her belt loop and tug her closer. Vinnie does a low wolf whistle, eyeing the cowboy and I cross my arms, standing my ground, as he looks Reese over. As if I’m not even there, he asks her, “Wanna dance?”
“I love dancing,” she replies, her finger now getting caught in my belt loop. Her body language is crystal clear to me, and should be to him. “Sorry, but my dance card is already full.”
“C’mon, little lady, let me take you for a spin.”
He remains there, the crystal not so clear I guess. So I stand, and say, “She said no.”
Looking her over again and giving me an eat-shit grin, he offers her his hand. “Just one dance.”
He doesn’t like no for an answer, and I’m not going to argue with him because I don’t like wasting my time. “Time to go, Reese.”
Besides no, he doesn’t take kindly to strangers either. “You run along now and leave the grownups to party.”
Reese leans against my chest, one arm around me the other resting on my chest. She looks up and smiles at me—this time seductive and insinuating. As my arms wrap around her, she says, “Thanks for the offer, but I’m leaving with him.”
Grumbling is heard when he mutters, “Lucky bastard.” He walks away with no further complaint.
Reese says, “You hear that, ya lucky bastard?”
I laugh for many reasons, but mainly because she’s so cute right now. Squeezing her a little tighter, I repeat, “I am a lucky bastard. The luckiest.”
18
DANNY
Claudia is on a mission to self-destruct with a shot of tequila in one hand and Vinnie eating out of the other as she tells him fables of her model’s life. I’m done drinking for the night. I don’t want to feel like shit tomorrow and want to savor tonight. “You ready?” I ask Reese.
“I am,” she says, and gives her farewells. I set the keys in front of Vinnie and whisper, “The hotel is only a few blocks away. We’ll walk. Don’t let Claudia drive back. Okay?”
“Okay. Goodnight, Model Danny.”
I nod toward the exit and we go. The six or so blocks back don’t feel like enough time alone with Reese, but I’ll take what I can get. The fresh air will also do us both some good.
Not wanting to waste a second, I ask, “Who was your rebound?”
Bumping into me, she says, “You might be.” When her laughter rings out, including a snort, I know I should have stopped her from having that last shot. But I’m too blindsided by what she actually said to worr
y about her snorting or how much she drank. Instead the words “you might be” are ping-ponging around my brain and I’m tempted to get her more truth serum, aka tequila.
We can’t.
I know this, I remind myself.
We know this.
She’s a damn flirt. A damn, temptingly gorgeous flirt.
It’s in the new Illustrious handbook and stated clearly in the last contract. But when she twirls, all her worries gone from her body, I’m close to breaking that contract and every promise I made Mark.
I catch up to her and we cross the street together. “You shouldn’t drink. You’re gonna get yourself in trouble.”
She looks hopeful. “Would that trouble include you? Because I’m all for getting into trouble with you.”
I think I’ve opened Pandora’s box, or maybe revealed Victoria’s secret. Sexy girl. “You say that as if you’d follow through when we both know you won’t.”
She moves in front of me, making me stop. With her hands on my stomach, small little movements tell me she’s taking advantage of the situation and enjoying the feel of my eight-pack. “Is that a challenge, Danny boy?”
Sighing, she’s exasperated in the most adorable way. She’s trying so hard to get me to play along, and I’m tempted. I can play with the best of them. Just not with her. This time it’s too close to my heart. She’s too close to my heart and a huge part of my history. I take hold of her wrists and drag them down until she’s about to touch me where I really want her hands, then stop and remove them altogether. “I’ll lose to you, Reese. Every time—whether intentional or not. So this isn’t me challenging you. This is me recognizing the situation for what it is.”
With a flourish, she turns and starts walking again. I stay behind her, thinking she might need the time to think like I do.
Or not…
“Remember that time we almost got arrested for having sex in the car?” she asks, her smile back in place.
“I do. I remember being handcuffed while wearing only my boxers.”
“You looked hot if that makes a difference.”
Chuckling, I say, “Sure, that makes all the difference.”
“Well, I did talk him into freeing you and you never did pay me back.”
“I remember very distinctly paying you back about four times over that night.” As if cued to do so, I wink.
“No, not that. Although that was a very fun night.”
She’s light on her feet, her happiness abounding with each step. So much like the girl I once knew. The girl I fell head over heels for. An ache grows in my chest. Along with the good memories, others take away from the happiness we once shared together. I don’t say anything. I’m not in the mood to relive them tonight or to argue. I just want to enjoy this star-filled night in the middle of nowhere and this moment in time with a woman I’ve fallen for all over again. But we can’t go there. Yet.
I indulge her this time. “I pay all my debts. What did I promise you?”
“You promised to recreate the first night we met.”
It’s the poorest of excuses, but I voice it anyway, “Life got in the way.”
“A lot got in the way.” She’s much more reflective this time, the bounce gone from her step.
We walk the next block in silence. The hotel is up ahead and I find my pace slowing. I’m not ready for tonight to end. I’m not wanting for it to end like this either. I grab her, surprising her, and duck into an abandoned storefront, an alcove housing a locked glass front door and no witnesses around. “Reese.”
She smiles, knocking me a little off balance by its sincerity, the trust seen so clearly with the street lights sparkling in her eyes. “Yes?”
Her lips are left parted and I find them distracting, everything I planned to say to her now gone, completely vanished from my mind. “Don’t look at me like that, okay?”
“Like what?” she asks, her smile growing, a giggle punctuating it.
“Like I’m a good guy.”
“Ooh, are we quoting movies? I love this game. Um, let me think. I’ve got the next line. You’re not a bad guy.”
“I don’t even know what you’re talking abou—”
“Wait, that’s not how the movie goes.”
“I’m not quoting a movie.”
“Oh! I thought you were quoting Twilight.”
“I’ve never seen Twilight.”
“It’s a really good movie. You should watch it.”
“Huh?” I shake my head, wondering where I went wrong with this conversation. I wave my hands as if I can erase all of this and start over. “Listen to me. I’m no good for you. It didn’t work when we were young. Why would it work now? It won’t. But I’m so damn attracted to you—I have all these feelings—new and old. Seeing you smile and laugh, being with you…” I look away, but like every other time, I can’t stay away for long. “I’m going to kiss you. Again.”
“Okay,” she says, the smile gone, the sincerity remaining.
Her back presses against the window as she’s bracing herself, and I lean in. This time I look at her lips, so pink, her breath coming out harsher than seconds before. So ready for me. Her eyes drop closed and mine follow as our lips touch. Gentle pressure becoming firmer. I rest one hand on the glass above her head and with the other I touch her cheek. A small moan is shared when our tongues touch.
I need to stop, so I back away. “I can’t do this. I can’t stop with you if this goes any further.”
“Danny,” she says, tentatively stepping closer to me, “I know we have reasons enough to not do this, but being here with you, dancing back there, kissing you earlier… I have no willpower when it comes to you. I never did.”
“You did once. When it mattered the most, you found the willpower.” I spent years mourning the loss of us.
Watching her, she gazes down to the ground between us. She looks hurt. “There’s so much to still discuss, all the reasons we didn’t work back then. I have questions just like you do, but not tonight. Tonight, can we leave that in the past and forget about everyone else?”
“If you could, what would you do?”
She moves against me, chest to chest, her hand sliding to the back of my neck. “I’d kiss you and more.” Kissing me, I hold her just where she is.
It’s where I like her most, right up against me. When we stop, I say, “I’d like more with you.”
“I would too. Just tonight. Nothing else matters.” She takes my hand and says, “It’s my turn to lead.”
While walking back to the hotel, she asks, “What turns you on?”
I like when she’s forward. I reply, “When the camera is turned off.”
Her quick glance makes me feel exposed, but it’s good to feel this way because I feel like the walls between us are coming down.
With a flash of a smirk of her own, she says, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
By the time we reach the hotel, the sexual tension between us heightens, the possibility of what’s about to happen turning me on. She holds my hand the rest of the way, her fingers tightly woven with mine. Stopping twice to kiss, we come close to “almost” getting arrested again, so we hurry through the courtyard, and straight through the lobby.
We make it to the top of the stairs, right outside my hotel room before we break down and give in to temptation.
I kiss her—hard. I kiss her so she knows there’s no one else I’d rather kiss. When our bodies come together, I feel the nudge between my knees, her softness wedging against my hardness. My back is against the wall, the plaster shaking when I slam against it.
Meandering hands roll over the muscles of my shoulders and into the hair at the top of my neck. I take the time to appreciate the ebb and flow of the curve of her waist. Our tongues frenzy and I spin, trapping her between the door and me.
Tongues delve deeper, fueling desire. My mouth goes to her ear and I lick the outer shell, then whisper, “I want you, Reese.”
“I want you, so much.”
She c
loses her eyes and softens against me. I kiss her neck and work my way to the side causing her to moan. The warm kisses are replaced by cool air and goose bumps cover her arms. As a shiver runs the course of her body, she squirms, and lifts just enough to capture my lips with hers.
In one swift move, she’s lifted, her legs wrapping around my middle. Our kisses deepen as I walk in and to the side of the bed while she tugs my shirt off. Setting her down, I stand there a moment, watching her as she scoots to the middle. When she looks back at me, she asks, “Are you joining me?”
It’s the best invitation I’ve had in years. It’s also the only one I’ve wanted even longer. “Absolutely.”
She eyes me and says, “You’re known for your six pack, but clearly I see eight. Good Lord, that’s hot. Come here and let me lick you.”
I laugh as I toe my shoes off in a hurry. She slips her shirt over her head and tosses it carelessly to the end of the bed. I take down my pants and slip off my socks. She’s seen me a million times in my underwear at this stage, so we forgo the foreplay of undressing and just get naked.
“Good gracious,” she exclaims, looking at what I’m packing. “My memory failed me in this area.”
My cock definitely likes the attention, and I harden even more. “Mine didn’t, but you’ve gotten even sexier if that’s possible.” Her nipples—pink and pert for me.
Just as I’m about to climb onto the bed, she asks, “Do you have protection?”
I nod, a little too eagerly, so I try to seem less like a geek getting laid for the first time and more like the magazine referred to me—Sexiest Man Alive. I shrug for added good measure. “I’ve got two condoms.”
“Only two?”
Now that makes me smirk. I give her the full thing, no holds barred. She sighs happily and lies back. I grab the condoms and get on the bed. We were frenzied before, but now, now I want to take my time with her, getting reacquainted with her fully.
I lean down and kiss her stomach while kneading her breasts. Lifting, I move up her body and kiss her breasts, appreciating each one with my tongue. Her fingers weave into my hair and she tightens, the hair tugging on my scalp, and urging me on. I look up and she says, “Up here.”
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