I miss U.
Now it was Friday night, and he was trudging wearily home. The bar had been steady, which was something, but Friday and weekends always were. It was during the week he desperately needed things to pick up.
His phone rang as he walked into his flat. At this hour, five before midnight, it could only be one person.
‘Hang on a sec, Phil. Just let me feed the monster.’ Clattering the phone onto the worktop, he made a fuss of Pickles, who’d scampered over to greet him.
‘At least someone loves me, huh?’ he crooned, then laughed as she ducked out of the way of his hands and sat expectantly next to her feed bowl. ‘Cupboard love, really, that’s all there is between us?’
He grabbed a handful of food and dumped it into her bowl, giving her ears another stroke because hell, at least she wanted him, even if it was only for dried pellets. Then he picked up the phone again. ‘Okay, I’m all yours.’
‘Just thought I’d touch base. Find out how my brother and his budding non-romance was going.’
Luke kicked off his shoes and slumped down on the sofa. ‘Not a good time to ask that. Pick another topic.’
‘Seriously? You expect me to ignore that massively open goal?’
‘Expect, no. Hope, yes.’
‘Come on, I’m just showing concern for my kid brother. I thought you looked good together. She’s far too smart for you, obviously, but aside from that, I totally approve. I like that she’s got this edgy vibe, with the blue hair and the sharp humour, but inside she’s clearly a softie. I mean, why else would she make you a website for free? And don’t think I didn’t notice the definitely-not-just-friends chemistry between the pair of you.’
‘Yeah, well, things took a nosedive when Freya decided to surprise us by walking bold as brass into the flat on Sunday morning. Being a dumb twat, I chose not to tell Mia who Freya was, instead I gave her some crap about it being complicated—’
‘Whoa,’ Phil interrupted. ‘Can we rewind that last bit. Mia stayed the night?’
Luke sighed, slumping further down the sofa. Why hadn’t he just said the budding non-romance is fine and moved the sodding conversation along? ‘She crashed at mine because it was late. Sex was not involved. End of story.’ Though alarmingly, sleeping with his arms around her in the same bed had felt better than most of the sex he’d had. As for having her touch him the next morning, fingers teasing his piercing, feathering across his chest? Hands down better than any sex he’d had. ‘Now what did you really phone for?’
‘I did actually phone to ask about Mia, because I liked her.’
The sincerity in Phil’s voice touched Luke. ‘Thanks. I guess it’s kind of obvious I like her, too.’
‘Janet would call you out for that statement. She told me she’d never seen you more animated, more besotted over a woman. She reckons you’re falling for Mia, big time.’
She’s not wrong. Luke felt his throat constrict around the words. He couldn’t say them out loud because it would make it too real, and he was shit scared he was falling for someone who didn’t feel the same way.
‘Okay, so you’re not going to take the juicy bait I wriggled in front of you.’ Phil sighed. ‘Bloody shame that, because it’s so long since I’ve seen you twisted in knots over a girl, I’d forgotten how entertaining it is. Still, I’ll cover the embarrassing silence with the second reason for my call. Have you had any more thoughts about holding a designer cocktail evening? Mia’s idea was spot on. You can design cocktails for people, or help them design one for that special person. It would really give you a USP.’ Luke could almost see the cogs of his brother’s mind working. ‘You know what, if we found somewhere that could package them up, we could extend it nationwide. Cocktails posted 2 U. It’s a bloody brilliant idea.’ Luke could hear the excitement in Phil’s voice. ‘People tell you what the person is like, you know their personality, you design a cocktail for them and we package it off.’
‘I hate to deflate you, but there are already companies who send cocktails through the post.’ Companies who knew what they were doing. Luke wasn’t even sure he could run a bar.
‘Yeah, but their cocktails aren’t specifically designed for the customer.’
‘What if they hate what I’ve put together? What if I can’t mix new cocktails that taste halfway decent?’
‘Come on, where’s your self-belief? Your ambition?’
Luke hung his head. He could almost hear the demons from the past laughing at him. Such a disappointment, he’ll never amount to much. He’s not gone to university, he’s working in a bar…
Clearly aware he’d overstepped, Phil let out a long, drawn-out breath. ‘Sorry, I got a bit carried away there.’
Luke grunted. ‘You think?’
A pause, and Luke knew his brother was choosing his next words carefully. ‘What I think is, you’re far more capable than you believe.’
Once again Luke felt emotion claw at his throat. ‘Thanks for the show of faith, but on current evidence, learning to walk before I try to run seems like a good bet.’
‘Does that mean the design-a-cocktail evening is a goer, but Cocktails posted 2 U is on the back burner?’
God, his brother. Where would he be without him? ‘It means I’ve already talked to Sandy, and next Wednesday we’re holding our first Cocktails 4 U evening.’
‘You’re kidding? You already thought of 4 U? I mean, it’s not as cool as posted 2 U, but it’s not bad.’
‘Thanks,’ Luke replied dryly. ‘Can we call this conversation over now, so I can get out of the clothes I’ve spent the last twelve hours in and take a shower?’
‘Okay, cocktail master. I’ll catch you another time.’
Luke smirked. ‘Sorry, did you say cocktail master or…?’
‘Definitely time to call the conversation over. ’Night, brother.’
After his shower, Luke padded to the kitchen to grab a drink of water, then made his way to the spare room. As expected, there was no answering Miss U 2 message in her window. It was time to push for a response. See if she was still talking to him.
Finding the pen, he scrawled out his message and stuck it in the window. Then sent up a silent prayer that when he woke up, he’d have a positive reply.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Every day this week Mia had woken to a message from Luke. The first few had made her smile, the I miss U had actually brought tears to her eyes. Each time she’d thought about sending a reply though, she’d remembered how cross she was with him.
Even if she ignored the kissing, and she was trying really hard to do that, she and Luke were supposed to be friends. She’d admitted all her dodgy relationship history to him. Yet it seemed the sharing only went one way and he was hiding a huge chunk of his life from her.
A chunk that included attractive women who had free access to his flat. Women he’d not told her about. It’s complicated. The fob-off had really hurt. Her relationship with Pete had turned complicated, but she’d told Luke anyway.
Despite her annoyance though, her pulse picked up pace when she walked into the spare room and noticed a new message:
Come to mine this a.m.
* * *
Plz.
On a second sheet he’d written:
Need 2 talk.
She sucked in a breath, ignoring the dip in her stomach. Maybe he was finally going to open up to her.
Picking up a sheet, she scrawled.
10 a.m.?
Figuring he was still asleep – it was only half eight, she’d woken early to put the final touches to his website – she was about to head off to grab a coffee when she saw movement in his window. A moment later, he’d put up his reply:
Thx
She tried, and mostly succeeded, to get her head down for the next hour or so. There were the occasional glimpses at his window to check him out as he did his usual weight routine. An hour early today, it was impossible to resist now she’d seen his body close up. Touched the hard muscles of his chest and seen t
hem quiver in response.
Heat washed through her and Mia had to take a moment to breathe. To squeeze her legs together to stop the ache between her thighs.
Just friends … yeah, she’d totally mucked that up. Why couldn’t she have stuck at liking him? Why did she have to go and fancy him, too?
But it didn’t matter, because she wasn’t going to act on it. She didn’t want to always be worrying about the women he’d told her about, and the ones he hadn’t. Those in his phone book, and those who sidled up to him in the bar. A magnet for the opposite sex, a man who loved women so much he went to the trouble of looking good to attract them.
That was not a man a smart woman would fall for.
By the time she knocked on Luke’s door, Mia had her hormones firmly locked up.
Then he opened it, and the sight of him freshly showered, his skin glowing, his muscles looking huge beneath the tight white T-shirt … those damn hormones burst free.
‘Thanks for coming.’ He ran a hand through his still-damp hair and gave her a rueful, endearingly uncertain smile. ‘I wasn’t sure you would.’
‘It doesn’t mean I’m not pissed at you.’
‘I know.’
He stepped aside to let her in, indicating for her to sit on the sofa but she stood her ground, not ready for that sort of chumminess yet. ‘I thought we were friends.’ She stared up at him, letting him see how hurt she was. ‘But friends talk to each other; they don’t evade, they don’t lie.’ They don’t sleep in the same bed with their arms wrapped around each other.
God, she had to stop thinking of that night.
Guilt crossed his face. ‘I’ve never lied to you but yes, I should have said something about Freya before now.’
‘It’s not just Freya though, is it? I saw another woman in your flat.’ Damn, why had she admitted that? ‘Not that you can’t have women visit you, I mean you’re a free agent, it’s just…’ she trailed off, aware she couldn’t say the next words out loud. I’m massively, stupidly, painfully jealous.
His eyes narrowed. ‘You’ve been spying on me?’
‘No.’ She’d just accused him of lying and here she was, being a total hypocrite. ‘I didn’t buy binoculars, though the thought did cross my mind,’ she admitted. ‘But I do look over at your window, you know I do. And that evening I saw you laughing with a woman who was pointing at where you keep the paper and pens.’ Her voice started to shake and Mia had to pause to regroup. ‘I figured you were taking the piss out of me.’ Finally she met his eyes. ‘You know, the weird girl who lives opposite and won’t give out her phone number.’
‘No, God no.’ He looked genuinely horrified. ‘Jesus, Mia, how could you think that? You’re not weird, you’re bloody adorable. I love the way we communicate. It’s unbelievably cool.’
A boulder lodged in her throat, making speech impossible.
‘Grace thought so too,’ he added quietly. ‘She wasn’t laughing because it was daft, she was laughing because it was, and I quote, too cute for words.’ He let out a long exhale. ‘Grace is my daughter. Freya is her mum.’
‘Your daughter?’ The explanation was so unexpected, Mia struggled to get her head around it. ‘I guess at least that explains the tattoo.’
He exhaled sharply. ‘Christ, you thought it was the name of an ex, didn’t you? Trust me, the only names I’ll ever have tattooed on my skin are those of people I want to keep in my life permanently.’ Not Freya then? While she was working through that nugget, he nodded over to the sofa. ‘Can we please sit down? My legs were feeling wobbly enough after today’s workout. They’re about to give out now we’re talking about personal stuff.’
‘Personal stuff? I’ve known you for three months and you’ve never mentioned you had a daughter. Nor that you were living next to your ex.’ She let out a harsh laugh as she walked towards the sofa, her own legs needing some support now, too. ‘God, I’ve not known you at all, have I?’
She watched him sit down next to her and briefly close his eyes, as if in pain. When he opened them again, she could see the regret. ‘I’m sorry. I know I should have told you when we were talking about our past, but…’ He let out a humourless laugh. ‘It sounds stupid now, but I didn’t want you thinking badly of me, not until you got to know me more.’
‘You thought I’d not want to carry on our friendship because you had a child?’ She gaped at him in disbelief.
‘No, not because of that.’ He hung his head. ‘Shit, Mia, I’m saying all this wrong.’ Drawing in a deep, shuddering breath, he turned to look at her. ‘I’ll tell you everything you want to know, but can we please start this conversation again, from the beginning?’
He was a man of effortless charm, yet he clearly wasn’t finding this easy. In fact he looked like he was struggling to tell her something important, something he wasn’t sure how to articulate. ‘It’s your story, so tell it however you want.’ Relief flashed across his handsome face and she instantly regretted how hard she’d been on him. ‘Just know that I’m sorry for being a bitch earlier. I was upset because I felt you’d kept stuff from me, but that’s on me.’ She was acutely aware she was the one holding him at arm’s length. ‘I’ve no right to your full life history.’
Luke stared at Mia incredulously. Had she really no clue how he felt? ‘The woman I spent last Saturday night kissing has every right to know about my past.’
Her cheeks flushed and she gave him a small smile. ‘Fair point.’
He shifted so he was facing her. ‘I met Freya at school. I guess you could say she was my childhood sweetheart, though at the time it felt like a lot more than that. Sure, I was only sixteen, but it felt like IT.’ How naïve he’d been, or as his parents had often pointed out, how stupid. He’d been the same age as Grace was now, yet his daughter was so much more together than he’d ever been. ‘It got serious between us very quickly, too quickly.’ Embarrassed, he glanced down at his hands.
‘Was she immaculately turned out even then?’
He laughed softly. ‘No, that came once she started work. Back then she was a natural beauty, no need for make-up.’ He searched Mia’s eyes. ‘Similar to someone else I know.’
She waved a hand in dismissal. ‘I don’t wear make-up because I can’t be bothered with it, not because I don’t need it.’
He allowed himself the luxury of studying her face. ‘Trust me, you don’t need it.’
Clearly embarrassed, she rolled her eyes. ‘Maybe not now, because you’re making me blush, but you should see me first thing in the morning.’
She must have realised her mistake because she turned a deeper shade of pink, making him laugh. ‘God Mia, you’re so ballsy, so confident, yet you blush at a compliment on your looks. And at the reminder that I have seen you when you’ve just woken up.’ He lowered his voice. ‘You were beautiful. Hair a bit wild, sure, eyes all soft and sleepy. Lips so naturally pink it took some serious self-control on my part not to kiss them.’
He watched as she bit into those very lips. ‘But you didn’t.’
Christ, he could feel himself getting hard. ‘Because I wouldn’t have been able to stop at kissing.’
Her breathing quickened and her eyes darted away from his. ‘We’re getting off track here. You were telling me about Freya.’
The mention of his ex-wife was sufficient to quell the throb between his legs. ‘Yeah, so I was.’ Now it was his turn to avoid her eyes. ‘She didn’t want to go on the pill, because her parents were dead strict and she was scared they’d find out. So we used condoms. Most of the time.’ Shameful, furtive encounters in quiet parks, bathrooms at parties, the back of his car once he’d scraped the money to buy one. Old enough to have sex, but not old enough to do it properly, with the right care, in the right surroundings. ‘We took stupid risks, and unsurprisingly she got pregnant.’
‘How old were you?’
‘Eighteen.’ He grimaced. ‘I guess you could say we were lucky it didn’t happen earlier. Freya managed to take her A Levels and get into a lo
cal university before Grace was born.’ Once again he found himself looking down at his hands, rather than at Mia. Scared to see her reaction. ‘I wanted to get married, but Freya refused. She wanted to focus on university, on becoming the lawyer she’d always dreamt of being.’
‘So that’s what she does at her desk,’ Mia mused.
‘Yeah. Recently she’s got into the habit of doing her emails from home then heading into the office around ten to avoid the traffic.’
‘Can’t say I’m surprised. She sure fits the image of the sharp lawyer. What about you?’ Mia’s softly worded question had him jerking his head up to meet her gaze. ‘What did you dream of doing?’
He shrugged. ‘I wasn’t as bright as her. I might have scraped into uni, but one of us needed to earn money so it made sense for that to be me.’
‘Did you go straight into bar work?’
She was asking questions, not judging, not getting up and leaving. Luke started to relax. ‘Yeah. That way I could take care of Grace during the day while Freya was studying.’ They’d fallen into a routine that seemed to work, most of the time.
‘Did you live together?’
He let out a sharp laugh. ‘No way. Once it became clear she didn’t see us having a future together, our relationship was doomed. She lived with her parents until she started work. All she wanted from me was my babysitting skills.’ Even now, the pain was still there, hidden deep. To be turned down, rejected. It had fucking hurt.
Mia reached out to touch his hand. ‘I’m sure that’s not true. You were both so young, dealing with a huge change to your lives in the best way you could.’
True, except he’d wanted the whole deal. Living together, marriage. Being a family. Freya had wanted a career. He pushed the thoughts away and clung to Mia’s proffered hand, and the hope it seemed to imply. ‘She was probably right,’ he admitted. ‘We’d never have been a good fit in the long run.’ Yet you’re falling for another woman who’s far too smart for you.
Mr Right Across the Street: The perfect escape for lockdown and from one flat to another share in the most feel good romantic comedy of 2021! (The Kathryn Freeman Romcom Collection, Book 4) Page 19