I feel my heart breaking for him but I refuse to cry. That's not what he needs right now. I hate that, after all this time, he sees himself through tainted lenses. Dirty, unwanted, undeserving of love. I need to show him he's worthy of so much more.
“First of all, you are not nothing. To me, Halo, you are everything.” I cup his face with my hands as his eyes blaze into mine. Even if he can’t find the words to say it, it’s there in his eyes for all to see.
“Second of all, I’m honored that I’m the first person to get to say those words to you. They are yours now. I’ll never take them back because, even if the world falls down around us and this relationship crashes and burns in the wreckage, right here, in this moment, I love you with every breath in my lungs and every beat of my heart.” He kisses me, stealing any other words I might have wanted to say. It’s soft and full of intent and, dare I say it, love.
He pulls away, resting his head against mine and breathes me in for a second.
“We should head back,” he finally says, breaking the moment. I squeeze his hand and look out over the lake and nod.
“Take me home, Pretty Boy.”
* * *
The party is in full swing by the time we get back. Walking into the clubhouse is a shock to the system after the placid calm of the lake. Being here surrounded by black leather-encased bodies and mostly naked women laughing, joking, and fucking to the sound of Lynyrd Skynyrd playing in the background threatens to burst the bubble Halo and I had been in. But when he links his fingers through mine so he can pull me through the crowd toward the bedrooms, I realize he isn't ready for our night to be over either.
Before we even make it halfway, I’m convinced I’ve already seen more vaginas in the three-and-a-half minutes it took us to break through the crowd than I have in my entire life.
After a text telling us that both Orion and Gage are at King’s place across the back of the lot, we crawl into Orion’s big old bed and pass out wrapped up in each other.
I wake once when a hard body climbs in behind me in the early hours of the morning but settle when I realize it’s Gage.
“Where’s Orion?” I ask sleepily as he wraps his arm around my waist.
“He’s staying with King tonight. He had chemo today so he spent most of the night throwing up. Orion didn’t want to leave him.”
“I’ll go see him tomorrow,” I say softly.
It’s a dire situation but he has people here who care about him and I want to get to know the man a little better before it’s too late.
“Okay, Cherub, just remember he can be a grouchy fucker when he’s feeling crappy,” he warns me.
“Men always are when they’re sick. It’s okay,” I whisper as sleep pulls me back under.
Now I’m waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, standing with a smile on my face at all the groaning I can hear coming from the other room. Not the sex kind of groaning but the dear-god-in-heaven-why-did-I-drink-so-much kind of groaning. I decide to take pity on everyone and throw a load of bacon on to cook, letting the smell permeate the air.
Gecko is the first to stroll in, looking sleepy and a lighter shade of green than his hair.
“Rough night?” I ask, assembling a stack of bacon sandwiches on a large platter.
“Urgh. My mouth tastes like ass.” I snort at that lovely description.
“Well, you are what you eat,” I joke.
“You wound me, darlin’.” I shake my head at him as I pour us both a mug of coffee.
“One day, Cherub, you’ll listen to me and wake one of us the fuck up before wandering around the clubhouse alone,” Gage grumbles as he walks in behind me and picks me up before plonking me down on his lap.
“Sure, I wasn’t busy at all,” I grumble. “Besides I knew it was only our chapter in last night. I wouldn’t have come down otherwise.”
He doesn’t say anything but he grabs my coffee off the counter and takes a sip.
I glare at him. “I will cut you,” I growl out.
Who does that? What kind of psycho steals someone’s first coffee of the day? Someone with a death wish, that’s who. He just smirks at me and continues to drink it. I spy a fork on the counter and lean forward but another hand scoops it up and tosses it into the sink.
I look up and find Halo looking down at me, laughing.
“Traitor,” I snap.
Seeing Orion behind him, I climb off Gage’s lap and walk over to Orion, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“How’s your dad?” I ask, looking up into his tired eyes.
“Better this morning. He’s sleeping now, thank god.”
“I’ll go and sit with him for a bit today.” He looks down at me gratefully before dipping his head and kissing me.
“Thanks, Cherub.”
“It's no problem,” I tell him honestly, turning when a prospect pokes his head in. He spots Orion.
“Trouble at the gate.”
Pulling away from me, Orion heads outside quickly, followed by Halo and Gage.
“Watch her,” Orion barks over his shoulder at Gecko. He needn’t worry. I have no intention of going out there. I walk over to the coffee machine and pour myself a fresh cup, ignoring the rising voices coming from outside, confident the guys can handle it. I catch snippets but ignore it, choosing instead to enjoy my cup of magic goodness when I catch the last part of a conversation.
“….burn this place to the ground.”
“Shit, fuck, shit.” I place the cup on the counter and sprint outside, ignoring Gecko shouting from behind me. I see two men standing just inside the gates pointing guns at Halo, Gage, and Orion who are returning the favor.
“You don’t get to come into my club barking your orders and making threats. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t shoot you where you stand? How the fuck did you get in here anyway?”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I chant as I sprint down the steps and speed around Gage who spots me too late to grab me.
“Luna!” he roars. I ignore him and the few other men littered around the yard with guns pointed at the two troublemakers. I fling my arms around the slightly taller of the two men who has lowered his gun to catch me.
“I missed you,” I whisper in his ear before I’m snagged up in a bear hug from the man beside him.
“What the fuck?” I hear Halo ask. I wait until I’m lowered back to the ground before grabbing a hand of each of the men. I turn to face my guys and freeze at the looks of anger and betrayal on their faces. Whoops.
“Shit, sorry, guys. Gage, Halo, Orion, meet my brothers Zig and Oz.” Nobody moves for a second but eventually, everyone lowers their guns, sensing the threat is over.
“Brothers?” Orion asks, eyeing Ziggy and Cosmic up and down. I know what he sees. Where I’m tiny and blonde, they are massive in height and breadth with dark, almost black, hair. They take after our dad whereas I’m all our mother.
“Afraid so. I’m so sorry. I forgot to check in and let them know I was okay.”
“How did they even know where to find you?” Gage asks, looking backward and forward between me and them
“My watch.” I hold it up dumbly like they don’t know what a watch is.
“It has GPS and an SOS function. I hit it when I was in the cell.” Instead of looking angry, Gage looks impressed.
“Cell?” Zig grits out. Oops.
“Erm… maybe we should take this inside,” I say, looking around at all the guys watching us. Unlike my guys, they haven’t lowered their guns.
“Cell, Luna? Really? You let them lock you in a cell?” I snap my head around to face Oz and flip him off before stomping ahead of them.
“I was tag teamed,” I shout over my shoulder and pause for a second as everyone turns to look at me. A flush creeps up over my cheeks.
“Not like that. He got me from behind. You know what? I hate you all. I should have just let you shoot each other. Then I could have enjoyed my coffee in peace.”
I stomp up to my guys and find myself toss
ed over Gage’s shoulder. I don’t protest, knowing he won’t listen, but I spend my time on his shoulder making a solid plan about smothering him in his sleep later. We head into the bar area and I find myself unceremoniously plonked on a chair between Halo and Orion. I sit quietly and fume while everyone else sizes each other up.
Well, if nobody is going to talk, I’m going to go grab my coffee. I try to stand and find Halo’s arm around my shoulder and Orion’s hand possessively on my thigh.
“I was just going to get my coffee,” I grumble. Orion gives my leg a squeeze so I shut up and let the big babies—sorry, I mean big strong men—deal with everything. After five minutes of posturing, I’m ready to throw myself out the nearest available window.
“For the love of—if we could move this along, that would be fucking awesome. Some of us aren’t nearly caffeinated enough to deal with this shit in the morning.”
“Still as bitchy as ever, I see, Luna,” Oz teases. I pick up the empty beer glass someone was nice enough to leave behind for me and launch it at his head. The asshole ducks at the last second, letting the glass shatter on the wall behind him.
“I will drop all your guns off at the police station without wiping your prints if you keep pissing me off,” I threaten him.
“Ouch, that’s harsh, Luna, even for you.” He places his hands over his heart, acting wounded.
“Guns?” Gage questions.
“Huh? Oh, Oz has quite the collection.”
“Prints?” Orion hones in on that tidbit of information.
I shrug. “Not every job is strictly legal.”
“Job? I thought you said these guys were soldiers,” Halo points out.
“They are, just of the soldiers for hire variety.”
“So, mercenaries.” Gage correctly puts the pieces together. “Guess that explains why the MC doesn’t freak you out as much as it would others. You’re used to the rules being bent. How the hell does none of this come back to you?”
Oz opens his mouth to answer but I give him a small shake of my head.
“Just lucky, I guess. Besides, it’s the same kind of risk I take being here in a relationship with you three. Other MCs will see me as a weak spot.”
“Well they would be in for a rude awakening,” Ziggy mutters under his breath
“So, do you want to explain what’s going on or what?” Oz asks, clearly bored with this conversation. “Are they the reason you spent those two months moping around?” I’m going to seriously kill him.
“I do not mope,” I bite out.
Orion squeezes my thigh, making me look up to see him smiling. Yeah, laugh it up.
“You’ve seen that I’m fine. You can go home now. I’ll call you when I need you,” I tell my brothers.
“Good enough for me.” Oz stands and Zig follows suit.
“That’s it? You’re really not bothered about leaving your sister in the care of a bunch of bikers?” Gage asks, angry on my behalf.
“Ha. I’m more worried about you guys. Luna can take care of herself.” Zig winks at me and turns to leave.
“You do know she could have died, right?” Gage asks sarcastically. I wonder absently as I check my nails if he wants to get shot.
“But she didn’t die, did she? Now she knows to adjust her expectations to pussy fucks who hit girls from behind.” Zig squares off to Gage.
“Enough, Zig. Thanks for checking on me. Can you take my truck back with you? You can sling your bikes in the back. I’ve got Gramps’s truck here. I don’t need both.”
“Done. Anything else you need?”
“What do you think?” I answer cryptically, knowing he will know exactly what I mean. I don’t like being unarmed but I know Zig will take care of it.
“Right, let’s go. I can feel my balls starting to shrivel knowing my sister’s getting fucked more than me. I need to go and get laid before heading back,” Oz adds.
“You’re a pig, Oz.”
“Jealous? Oh, what’s the matter, wrong time of the month?” Halo stops me from launching myself across the table at him. Oz’s laughter echoes around the room, making me want to throw another glass at him. I scan the table but quickly find myself in Halo’s lap with one of his arms around mine and the other on my stomach, stopping me from throwing anything else.
“You’re a menace,” he whispers in my ear but I can hear the laughter in his voice. He bites my ear, making my body shiver before focusing back on my brothers. They finally start talking to each other, yet I can’t make out any of their words. I feel like the bottom just dropped out of my world.
Everything was fine until Halo rested his hand against my stomach. Then Oz’s words suddenly took on a whole new meaning.
I haven’t had my period. I hadn’t given it much thought as I’m not the most regular person but by my calculations, it’s been—fuck, it’s been nearly three months.
“Luna?” I look up and see Ziggy’s eyes roving over my face.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, drawing the attention of the guys around the table. Orion turns my head toward him and frowns at whatever he sees.
“Cherub?” I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes out, so I close it again.
“Fuck, Luna, you’re as white as a sheet.” He lifts me from Halo’s lap into his so I’m straddling his thigh. Both his hands cup my face as he stares into my eyes for answers I’m not sure I’m ready to say out loud yet.
“Nothing. Sorry, I just felt dizzy for a minute. I think I need to eat something.” The words are barely out of my mouth before Gage clicks his fingers at one of the prospects against the far wall.
“Prospect, bring Luna one of those bacon sandwiches and some juice.” The prospect leaves and I offer Gage a wobbly smile in thanks. Orion tucks my head against his shoulder and rubs a hand up and down my back, not caring in the least about the bikers surrounding us. The move brings a tear to my eye and has me snuggling into the side of his neck, breathing him in. Maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.
Chapter Thirteen
Things were definitely not okay.
Well, fuck! Megan signs from the floor beside me. We’re both sitting with our knees up and our backs to the wall of the small bathroom at the back of her shop, staring down at the six pregnancy tests that confirm I am indeed pregnant.
What happened to no glove, no love? She smirks at me, making me shove her.
“For your information, they always suit up but these guys seem to defy the freaking odds. Orion’s lightsaber probably destroyed it with his super sperm.” I shove her again when she laughs at me.
What are you going to do? Well, that’s the million-dollar question, now, isn’t it?
“I don’t know, Megan. It’s not that I’m opposed to having kids, I just didn’t want them yet. I mean, how will this even work? Me and the guys are still trying to figure things out between us and how I’m going to fit within the MC. Things have been up in the air with King being sick. I don’t know what to make of the new president but he has sway with the others, obviously. Even if my guys are willing to make changes, they can’t go against the president, so what kind of life does it leave for me and nugget here?”
Don’t borrow trouble, Luna. That’s a lot of what if’s, but the truth is, you aren’t going to know how this is going to go until it plays out. You know I’m not the biggest MC fan but not all of them are bad. Answer me this, do you trust them? After everything that’s happened, I know most people would think I was nuts and who knows, maybe I am, but there is something instinctual that says yes, I can trust my guys.
A hammering at the door has me looking up even though I know it’s locked.
“Everything okay in there?” a new prospect named Parker calls through the door.
“Everything’s fine. We’ll be out in a sec,” I yell back. He walks away muttering about bitches going to the toilet together. I lay my head on Megan’s shoulder and take a deep breath, thankful she could help me out today. We sit quietly for a minute before she climbs to h
er feet offering me her hand. I scoop up the tests and grab her hand, letting her help me up. I dump the tests into the small zipped pocket inside my bag on the counter before washing my hands and nodding my head that I’m ready.
We head back into the store where Parker is waiting for us. Another prospect is sitting outside. The MC is having a barbeque later, a sort of thank-you-for-being-a-great-leader kind of thing for King. It feels more like a congratulations-on-not-dying-yet kind of thing to me but what do I know? My brothers are coming, so I know tonight at least I won’t feel like an interloper.
This is the first time I’ve been out without one of my guys since I came back. I suspect the only reason Orion even agreed to let me come here today was because I asked him mid blowjob.
Megan and I walk out together, coming out behind the glass counter. Parker spins to say something, when there is the unmistakable pop, pop of a gun firing outside.
“Down, now!” he roars at me. I yank Megan to the floor, quickly signing to her what’s going on before I rummage through my bag for my gun. I really do have the best brothers in the world. Before they took my truck, Zig left me a gun under the seat of Gramps’s truck since Gage still hadn’t given mine back after the fiasco from before.
I pull out the gun and switch the safety off as the bell above the door chimes.
A gun fires again, closer this time, so I peek around the edge of the counter and see someone drop to the floor by the door. I take a deep breath in relief that Parker managed to get the drop on him, when a second gunshot rings out. A body crashes into the counter and slumps to the floor. Fuck. Tears spring to my eyes thinking about Parker but I swallow it down and focus. I have two lives to save, no, three now, with nugget. It’s all the incentive I need to shut off my emotions. I watch from my spot as someone else steps through the door. I glance up and am surprised to see Weasel looking around.
The Queen of Carnage Page 14