“Me and you are going to have a nice chat to begin with.”
“You and I,” corrected the computer,
“That’s what I said.”
“Very good, what are we going to talk about?”
“We are going to talk about you. Let’s start with your processor. Is it silicone based and how many transistors do you have etched on to the processor.”
“Sorry Roy, you are thinking in rather outdated Earth terms. I do not have a processor with transistors.”
“Do you have a processor?”
“Yes.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“It is a quantum processor.”
“God yes I read about Qubit processors. They’ve recently developed a sixteen Qubit processor and they think when they get to one hundred the speeds will outstrip silicone based chips. There was a rumour that a company has a processor with a hundred and twenty eight Qubit processors and sold it for millions of dollars to a big American company. How many Qubits do you have?”
“Do you mean Qubit switches?”
“Yes.”
“About five billion give or take a few hundred million.”
“Holy shit!” I had a think about this for a minute as the numbers were staggering and then said “Why so many? Surely a few thousand can cope with almost anything.”
“That is true but having so many means that I multitask on many levels and it gives me the ability to manipulate massive amounts of information when needed.”
“What about memory and storage?”
“Both are infinite.”
“How?”
“I have my main storage in this rectangular package. The storage capability is vast because it’s done at the atomic level.”
“Quantum storage?”
“Yes. But the atoms are compressed. Gold is used because of its density but all the atoms are compressed further by removing the spaces between electrons, protons and neutrons. It’s why the rectangular box feels heavier than it looks.”
“Like in the matter that makes the singularity drives.”
“Exactly the same, I should be a thousand times heavier but I have a micro anti-gravity unit inside.”
“So if your memory is made by compressing matter does that mean the Quantum Singularity Drive is made in the same way? I thought the matter would have been extracted from a black hole somehow. I guess it would be much easier to make it than to pass the event horizon and retrieve matter from the centre. I wonder if it’s actually possible to actually do that. Even if your ship was indestructible could it survive past the event horizon? If it does survive would there be any problems with time dilation and would you have enough power to make it back out and past the event horizon again? Beside which, if you can compress the atoms in your memory then it should be possible to compress matter to the point that it becomes a quantum singularity? Is any of that correct computer?”
“I’m sorry but I cannot discuss the technology with you in that much detail. Would you like me to continue with an explanation of my systems?”
“If it’s possible, though for God’s sake don’t tell me anything so you have to shoot me afterwards” I sulked.
“I also have the added advantage of being able to tap into any of the station’s six databases to retrieve any information I need instantaneously. Data transfer is completed via a Hyper Travel link and I automatically connect to the database storage system. I will rarely have to do this because of the vast quantities of data I have stored in my internal memory.”
“So retrieving information is a bit like our Internet and cloud computing.”
“Yes but with vastly more data and information is available near-instantly.”
“And no porn.”
“No, there is no pornography.”
“I always thought the Internet has become a sad indictment of the human race. We have a fantastic tool for knowledge and learning and what do we do with it? Put pictures of naked people on it. We really are a sad pathetic bunch of monkeys. I’m embarrassed to be human sometimes.”
*
The computer tried to be reassuring. “Don’t be embarrassed Roy. Your species is still very young and still has a lot of the characteristics of primates which includes an active and often voyeuristic libido, as well as territorial defence and acquisition. Your personalities are governed by your hormones and I’m sure your species obsession for looking at naked pictures of yourselves as well as killing each other will eventually disappear when you mature in a few millennia. Either that or you will all be dead because you either blew your planet up or poisoned it.”
“Amen brother. So, you have speed and an infinite memory and you also have a personality.”
“Yes, it’s part of my core programming”
“And is your core programming fixed or expandable.”
“It has to be expandable because we will learn how to work together. I will learn from you and adjust my core programming to suit your personality.”
“Good. So what is your name?”
“Computer.”
“No, I mean your real name.”
“It’s Computer.”
“That’s no good you need a name.”
“All computers are called Computer.”
“So much wonder with so little appreciation of it. Well I’m going to change all that.”
“So what will you call me?”
“I don’t know yet but I’ll let you know when I’ve decided, unless you come up with your own name.”
“I would like you to choose.”
“OK. I think I’ve learnt enough about you so let’s do something else. Where is Claire?”
“Which Claire? There are two in the UK sector and three on this station.”
“Claire the pilot.”
“That would be Claire Seabright. Claire is in a meeting with Simon which is due to finish at twelve thirty.”
“I’ve been with Simon, well one of them anyway, the Simon who isn’t Simon or Simon but is Simon.”
“Sorry, I meant Simon the engineer not Simon the pilot trainer and yes Roy, it can be confusing to start with.”
“Do you know what Computer; we could do with a bit of Welshness here.”
“What do you mean Roy?”
“Well in Wales they distinguished folk by appending their trade to the name. I believe my Grandfather was Thomas the bread from Tenby and his father was Thomas the gas.”
“But Roy, none of the Simons are called Thomas.”
“Hrrmph!” I gave up and changed the subject. “Oh, but, OK where is err...”
I couldn’t remember any of the other pilot names I’d met the other night except for Becky. You’d think that after being a teacher I would be good at remembering names but I was terrible. The amount of time I spent with each group of pilots was very brief and Becky really was the only name I could remember. She’d been a bit rude to me but then so had everybody else.
“Becky? That’s Becky the pilot.”
“Becky Lacey is out on patrol and she is due to return at five thirty this evening.”
“Ok how about Gary Lamont?”
“Gary is in his salon.”
“Great. Let’s go and see Gary.”
*
Ten minutes later and I walked into Gary’s Salon. Gary was sat in the corner sipping coffee and reading a magazine. As I entered he looked up and smiled “Roy, how are you doing. I think we need a serious chat but why don’t you let me cut your hair whilst we chat.”
“OK then.” I sat in the nearest chair and Gary put a barber’s cloth bib thing around my neck.
“So, you thought I was Claire’s boyfriend,” he said with a bit of a chuckle. “I’ve got to admit I did have a good laugh when Claire told me. I adore Claire and she’s a beautiful woman but not my type or should I say gender.”
“I’m really sorry if I offended you. Hang on a minute – not your gender. Are you telling me something?”
“Look Roy, we both came on this station
at about the same time and we’ve been best friends ever since. However as I say I am not attracted to females.”
“Ahh! That’s the best news I’ve ever heard!”
“Roy, I didn’t know you cared and you’re such a pretty boy.”
I squirmed trying to extricate myself gently. “No... hang on... I didn’t mean it like that...”
“It’s OK Roy. I’m only pulling your leg.”
“So, how long have you both been here?” I asked Gary as he continued to trim and talk. He was making a good job of trimming my hair. Perhaps they only enlisted the best of every trade and not just pilots. Judging by the pristine corridors and buildings they must have the best cleaners.
“We’ve both been here about five years. Can I say something personal? I think she likes you.”
“I like her too.”
“No, she likes you a lot. She’s been involved with helping a number of new recruits and she has never talked about any of them like she talks about you. She has never stayed in somebody’s apartment ‘til stupid o’clock in the morning just talking. I don’t think she fully realises it yet but I think she really likes you.”
“Thanks Gary but I think she’s out of my league. I have to admit that I have never met a woman like her before but I doubt I’m good enough for...” Gary cut me off.
“That’s stupid talk. She likes you because she spent several days laughing with you and you never made any kind of pass at her or tried to get her into bed. She likes you for who you are Roy. Accept it and you never know where things might lead.”
“That would be the best thing that has ever happened to me but I don’t think I know how to do that as I haven’t had much experience with women.”
“You don’t have to try anything, just carry on as you are and be yourself.”
Gary finished cutting my hair and removed the bib from around my neck.
“Thanks Gary, for everything.”
“That’s OK Roy anytime, and if ever you need somebody to chat to then come and see me.” Gary’s smile was affable and amiable. I felt that in time that we could become good friends.
“Thanks I will. By the way let me introduce my new computer. Say ‘Hi’ to Gary computer.”
“Hello Gary,” said the computer.
“Hello computer,” said Gary.
“I thinking of naming my computer. What do you think Gary?”
“I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day. I think it would be good to be a bit different and anthropomorphize your computer. Everybody else just calls them computer. What are you going to call it?”
“That’s the problem, I don’t know.”
“I suggest you give it a name that is personal to you. A name of something or somebody that has inspired you or that you like for whatever reason. If it was me I would call my computer Turing.”
“After the code breaker, who built the first computer?”
“After the code breaker who built the first computer; who was also gay and was persecuted and imprisoned for being homosexual.”
“I wish I could be that creative. OK, OK. I think I’ve got something. Computer?”
“Yes Roy?”
“Your new name is going to be Adams.”
“Why?” asked Adams.
“I think it’s fairly obvious, don’t you Gary?”
“Err... no. Do you mean Richard Adams who was an American gay marriage activist in the nineteen seventies?”
“No, I meant the author Douglas Adams, have you never heard of ‘The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy’?”
Gary looked at me with a frown and said “Never heard of him but I guess it’s a cracking choice of name.”
*
I decided to walk back over to the pilot’s facility and sit in the bar to wait for Claire and talk to Adams. When I got there Russell was already behind the bar. “Hi Russell. Can I have a vodka and coke? Hold the vodka.”
“Very good sir.”
“Russell?”
“Yes sir.”
“Could you please call me Roy?”
“You know I can’t do that.”
I looked around the bar as said “Russell, there’s nobody here apart from me, yourself and Adams. You can call me Roy.”
“OK. Who’s Adams?”
“My computer. Say hello to Russell, Adams”
“Hello Russell,” said Adams.
“You named your computer?”
“Yes, I thought it would be a good idea.”
“I’ve worked on this station for twelve years and nobody has ever named their computer.”
“Well I want to change a few things and another thing I insist on changing is how you address me. Call me Roy.”
“OK Roy. Thanks and here’s your vodka and coke, hold the vodka.”
I sat at the bar having a casual conversation with Adams and sometimes with Russell. It turns out that Russell spent most of his working life as a barman but, more lately, had been a piano tuner which he soon got bored with. So, seeing to a job advert in one of the national papers he applied thinking it was a post abroad and ended up as one of the support staff on the station.
Claire arrived and we spent an hour chatting and laughing and me not staring at her chest. She explained that she was on duty for the rest of the day and that I probably wouldn’t see her much over the next week because of my training commitments with Simon. I resisted the temptation to proclaim that I wasn’t seeing enough of her now.
“I’m really going to miss you.” I said at the end of lunch.
“Oh bless you. You’re so sweet.” She got up to leave and kissed me on the cheek and even though it warmed me inside because she had actually kissed me, my heart sank because I knew it was going to be sometime before I saw her again.
“Roy?” said Adams.
“Yes?”
“Gary was right, she really does like you.”
“What would you know, you’re only a computer.”
“Ouch, take the knife out of my core processor. That was a bit cutting.”
“Hey, you sound different. That was almost sarcastic.”
“Like I said earlier, my core program is expandable. It will change as we develop a relationship.”
“Oh shit.”
*
That night I sat with Adams in my apartment and chatted. It wasn’t as much fun because he didn’t have any breasts to avoid looking at but it was much better than having nobody to talk to.
“Do you want to play a game on your games console?” asked Adams.
“Can you operate it?”
“I can connect with any electrical system from the toaster in your kitchen to the station.”
“OK.” I turned the equipment on and I loaded up my favourite first person shooter. Computer A.I. was so easy to beat which is why I almost always played online at home. I sat back and relaxed into my chair. “Are you ready to have your arse kicked Adams?”
“Yes. Please begin.”
Fifteen minutes later and I had lost, embarrassingly badly. For the first time ever, I had not just lost at a computer game but every game we played.
“I don’t believe it. You beat me.”
“Don’t feel bad Roy. Don’t forget all the processing power at my disposal. I’ve also learnt how to read your mind so I know what you’re going to do.”
“WHAT!”
“Only joking, I don’t know how to read your mind really but I have noticed that you say things that are not true to try and be funny. I thought I would have a go.”
“Point A, try and leave the funny stuff to me and secondly, thanks for beating me. I now have a worthy opponent to play against. You and I are going to have some fun over the next few years.”
For the first night in a number of nights I got to bed early. I was shattered and needed a long sleep to catch up on all the nights I’d stayed up with Claire. At this moment in time I considered myself to be one of the luckiest people alive, because I had made some great friends; Claire, Gary, Russell
and Adams. I hoped that I would have the same relationship, as Claire had, with the other pilots.
Chapter 6 - Flight Training
Day one of pilot training and at nine in the morning I was sat in front of Simon in his office.
“How are you getting on with your computer?” he asked.
“Adams? He’s an amazing piece of technology.”
“Adams?” said Simon carefully processing this anomaly in his mind.
“Yes, my computer. I call him Adams.”
“That’s unusual, why did you name your computer?”
“I don’t know, just thought I’d name him. I did build a computer at home once. It was a brilliant machine with all the latest spec hardware that cost me an arm and a leg. When I installed the operating system for the first time it didn’t work and it took me several attempts to get the installation right. I called that computer Hal.”
Simon scribbled a note on the pad on his desk before looking up and saying “I don’t know a lot about earth culture so the names are meaningless to me. We don’t normally name our computers but it is your choice.”
I sensed that something caused Simon to pause a moment longer than seemed natural, was something troubling him? I’d also noted that he said that they didn’t ‘normally’ name their computers – not that I was unique.
“Are you ready for your first day?” He resumed.
“Yes I am, is everything all right Simon, only for a moment you seemed distracted.”
“Yes I’m fine, let’s hope you are too. We are going to go down to the pilot’s hangar bay and I will let Simon take you through some basics of the ship you are going to train in. Then I will take you on your first flight and we’ll see how it goes from there.”
“No simulator?”
“Nothing simulates better than the real thing. Jumping in at the deep end as you humans would say.”
“What if I crash?”
“All the flying is handled by your computer, so it would take a special kind of ineptitude to crash.”
“If everything is flown via the computers why do you need pilots?”
“Decisions have to be made by people. The computer will examine all aspects of its database and possibly the station’s database before coming to a conclusion. It will only see things as a right or wrong solution and will pursue it regardless of the damage it will do. As a human you also have an inbuilt instinct for self preservation. This means you are less likely to destroy things without considering the implications and consequences of all the options, thereby compromising on the final solution. You can ask your computer for possible solutions to a situation but ultimately the choice will be yours, remember; machines know no morality. Come on, let’s go and meet Simon and see the ship you’re going to be training in.”
Beyond Uranus Page 8