by Nash, Willa
No. “Sure!”
I followed her inside the gym, dredging up the memory of what it had looked like before. Dark and empty and dirty. Kerrigan had added large windows that overlooked the street, much like she had to the apartment upstairs, letting in natural light. There was a nice counter beyond the door where a receptionist would greet members.
Hire me. I opened my mouth, ready to beg for the job, but stopped. I was not long for Calamity, and I didn’t want to screw Kerrigan over when I skipped town.
“What do you think?” Kerrigan asked as she walked through the main space. It was open and airy. Mirrors lined one of the longest walls. A ballet bar ran along another. In the corner, a cage wrestled to contain large exercise balls. Yoga mats were rolled on a shelf. Kerrigan had found instructors to teach yoga, Pilates, Barre and Les Mills classes. Women and men of all ages were welcome here, including a once-a-week class for pregnant moms.
“You did an amazing job,” I told my friend.
“Thank you.”
The joy on her face was too much and my eyes filled. I tried to swipe them dry before she could see but damn those mirrors. They hid nothing.
“Hey.” She came over and touched my arm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Everything.” I sniffled, fighting to pull myself together. “I, um . . . I might need to stay upstairs for a while. Is that okay?”
“Of course.” Understanding crossed her face. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” I dragged in a long breath, pulling myself together. “Maybe later.”
“I’m here, day or night. Just call.” Kerrigan pulled me into a hug that only made me want to cry harder, so I rushed a fast goodbye, hurried out of the gym and escaped to my apartment.
The place where Hux and I had begun.
The place where we would end.
I jerked awake, so disoriented that it took me a moment to remember where I was.
The apartment. The couch.
My head throbbed as I pushed myself up to rub the kink in my neck. What time was it? The light still streamed in from the windows. My phone was sandwiched between the cushions and after digging it out, I saw it was nearly six.
I’d cried myself to sleep and let most of this shitty day melt into oblivion.
Chatter from the street drifted upstairs and I shoved myself to my feet, shuffling toward the windows.
Once, this place had been my sanctuary. It had been my safe haven. But when I looked through the glass, the town wasn’t as vibrant and charming as it had been. The mountains weren’t as tall. The sky wasn’t as blue.
My marriage had dulled Calamity.
Good thing I was leaving.
Hux had asked me to wait, and though I’d agreed, nothing could make me stay. Maybe he could tell everyone that I’d gone on a vacation to visit family. That my vacation would be lasting longer than necessary. I didn’t care what lie he wanted to tell as long as it meant I could escape Montana and start over.
Again.
Groups of tourists moved along the sidewalks, stopping at different shops. No matter how hard I tried to stop them, my eyes darted to the gallery.
Katie was no doubt inside. There was another hour until she’d close.
A mixture of hatred and longing swelled. The failure of my marriage wasn’t Katie’s fault. Her actions had just been the catalyst. The twat. How could Hux believe her over me? How could he have such blind faith and devotion to a woman I was one hundred percent certain was stealing from him?
Fuck him.
How dare he make me feel guilty? How dare he ask anything from me?
Hux and Katie deserved each other.
My stomach growled and I lifted my chin. No, I wasn’t going to hide in here. I wasn’t going to act like I’d done something wrong.
Did Hux have any idea how much time I’d put into his books? No, he didn’t.
Did he have any notion how much I’d done for him? No, he didn’t.
Did he have any clue how much shit I’d taken from his friends and daughter? No, he did not.
Fuck him. I was done.
After I collected my things, Calamity was history. Reese Huxley was history. I’d spend a few precious days with Lucy, then I was putting Montana in my rearview mirror. My time here would be a blip in The Life and Times of Everly Christian. A footnote. I couldn’t afford a plane ticket, but I’d max out my credit card to reach whatever destination I deemed my next stop.
San Diego had a nice ring to it. So did New Orleans or Charlotte.
I stomped downstairs and when I reached the sidewalk, I turned away from the gallery in search of food. And wine. The White Oak had been tainted thanks to the run-in with Hux’s family. That, and I had no desire to go in there alone. Sunday evenings drew a huge crowd for their weekly prime rib dinner. So I kept on walking, breathing fire with every step, until I reached the Pizza Palace.
Hux didn’t like pineapple on his pizza. Well tonight, I was ordering my own pizza covered in pineapple. Double, no, triple pineapple.
And a big fuck you to my husband.
The hostess’s smile was bright as I walked inside, but one look at me and she cowered away. “H-hi.”
“Hi.” It came out clipped and irritated. “Table for one.”
Always one.
Forever one.
“Right this way.” She snatched a menu and napkin-rolled set of silverware, then led me to a table. I’d been in here once before with Lucy but never with Hux. That was part of its appeal. “I’ll take a glass of red wine.”
“Sure. I’ll bring you the wine menu.”
“I don’t need it. Anything red. If you don’t have red, then white is fine too. I’m not picky. It just needs alcohol.”
“Um . . . okay.” The hostess disappeared, hopefully to get my wine.
I flipped open the menu, scanning it even though I already knew I was ordering the pineapple extreme, when a familiar voice caught my attention and my entire body went stiff.
“Yes, Mom. I shut my phone off.”
No. Not tonight.
I looked up in time to see the hostess escort Savannah to a table. April and Julian weren’t far behind.
They all spotted me, sitting alone in the middle of the room, as a panicked craze set in.
Should I leave? I hadn’t officially ordered yet. I could sprint the hell out of here right now. But then they’d see me run. They’d think they’d won. And I would never, ever, let April see me as weak.
So I did what I did best. I plastered on my sugar-sweet smile, one I was so sick and tired of wearing, and held up my hand to wave.
“Hey, Savannah.”
“Hey.” She gave me a sad smile. It was the first time ever I’d seen her give me pity. She’d either overheard my argument with Hux or known that I’d left the gallery earlier because of a fight.
Well, I didn’t want her fucking pity.
I wanted wine. Lots and lots of wine.
The hostess, her smile bright again, stopped at the table right beside mine. “How’s this?”
For fuck’s sake. Could I catch a break?
Julian didn’t look my way, but the way he held his chin said I was nothing to him. I was lower than the flies buzzing around the dumpster out back.
Savannah seemed unsure where to look. She kept glancing at me only to let her gaze flicker between her mother and stepfather, like she was expecting an explosion and wasn’t sure who would blow up first.
Then there was April, who sat at the chair directly across from mine, making it impossible for me to look up and not have her in my line of sight.
She really was beautiful, with her blond hair and high cheekbones and pert nose. It was hard not to be envious of this woman. She’d had Hux’s affection. He’d loved her. Maybe he still loved her, something he just wouldn’t admit to himself.
They’d probably made a beautiful couple, and they’d made a gorgeous daughter.
Fuck them all.
They could talk about me
all they wanted. I wasn’t sticking out a meal here. April could gloat around town that she’d won. What did I care? I was leaving.
I dropped ten bucks on the table and collected my purse. When I stood, I held my gaze steady on the door. I rounded my table and was almost past theirs when two words caught my ear.
“Gold digger.”
My feet stopped at April’s mumbled insult. That fury inside me bloomed to a rage so powerful, so hot, it burned as blue as Savannah’s eyes.
I turned, staring at her profile until she finally had the guts to look up. Then I fired my shot.
“Cunt.”
Never in my life had I enunciated a syllable so clearly.
Julian’s eyes whipped up from his phone.
The color drained from Savannah’s face, seeming to rush right to her mother’s reddening cheeks.
April gasped in outrage. “You’re a nasty bitch.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that she was a horrible mother for letting her husband slap her daughter. That she was a rotten influence for a child and, in general, a nasty human being. I opened my mouth to let loose every bad thing I knew or had heard about April and Julian Tosh, but I paused long enough to glance at Savannah.
One look, and every word died on my tongue.
She looked terrified. Maybe she knew exactly what I wanted to say.
I wouldn’t break Savannah’s confidence. She’d confessed the day of the farmhouse that Julian had slapped her. Later, she’d taken it back. There was a reason she hadn’t wanted anyone to know.
I wasn’t sure what it was, but that didn’t matter. Savannah’s reason was important to Savannah.
“Someday, karma is going to come and bite you in the ass, April,” I said with more confidence than I felt today. “I won’t be here to see it, but just know that when it does, I’ll be laughing at you. I’ll be applauding your demise.”
A sneer curled her lip, but I was already gone, shoving out the door and into the evening light.
It was peaceful outside. Birds chirped. A gentle breeze rustled tree leaves. The scent of lilacs floated in the air.
Not even this tranquil Montana evening could cool my temper as I tipped my head to the sky and screamed.
It was loud. It was long. It was overdue.
Across the street, a father was walking his kid on the sidewalk. Both looked at me like I’d grown a tail and horns.
“Sorry,” I called to them. The father was already tugging his kid to walk faster.
Ugh. I needed this day to end. But first, I had some purchases to make. The closest gas station was around the block and they’d have a toothbrush and toothpaste. They’d also have wine.
Except the universe was still working against me. Before I could disappear to buy necessities, Savannah burst through the restaurant’s door, her tennis shoes skidding to a stop as her hands collided with my back.
“Everly,” she breathed.
“Go inside, Savannah. Eat some pizza.” I didn’t have the energy to be the patient, loving stepmother tonight.
Her forehead furrowed as she took me in. “Are you okay?”
“No, sweetheart. I’m not okay.”
“Is it you and Dad?”
I sighed. There was no me and Dad. Not for much longer. “It’s complicated.”
“I’m not stupid.”
“No.” My shoulders sagged. “No, you’re not. But I’m not going to tell you about what’s happening with me and your dad. It’s not my place, so you’ll have to ask him.”
A cop-out? Absolutely. But I wasn’t a long-term part of this girl’s life.
“Go.” I jerked my chin at the door. “Have a nice dinner.”
She nodded, turning for the door, but stopped and whirled around again. “Why did you do that? Why did you call Mom a—”
“Don’t say it.” I held up my hand. God, I’d really called April a cunt. In front of her daughter. What the hell was happening to me? This might make things hard for Hux, and a part of me wished I could rewind time and start this all over again. But another part of me was proud.
Hux wouldn’t say it, but he was terrified of April and Julian. He had every right to fear their retaliation. They could always try and take Savannah away.
But I didn’t have that fear. If Nelson got angry because of my crass language, it wouldn’t matter. I’d be out of Savannah’s life before her seventeenth birthday.
“Why did you do that?” Savannah asked again.
I threw up my hands, wanting to scream and cry at the same time. “I don’t know. Probably because your mom is a . . . you-know-what. And I wish someone had cared enough about me to call my mother a you-know-what because sometimes, she is a you-know-what. But I don’t have that someone. You grow up and people don’t shout and scream and fight for you anymore. Not unless you’re really lucky.”
The break was coming. Emotion crashed over my shoulders and if I didn’t move my feet, I’d crumble into a puddle of tears, stuck forever outside the Pizza Palace. But before I left, she had to know.
“He loves you,” I whispered. “Your father loves you so much. Enough to fight. You’re a lucky girl, Savannah. I hope you know that.”
She stared at me with shock on her face and tears in her eyes.
I turned before she could see me cry, aiming my feet toward my apartment—the gas station was forgotten.
“Where are you going?” she called.
“Home.”
“But home is the other way.” She pointed across the street, toward Hux’s house.
I glanced over my shoulder and gave her a sad smile. “Goodbye, Savannah.”
Chapter Twenty
Hux
At the sound of the front door opening, I shot off my seat at the island and raced into the living room. “Ev?”
“Just me.” Savannah closed the door behind her.
Not that I wasn’t always happy to see my daughter, but this morning, I would have rather seen my wife walk inside.
“Hey, baby girl.”
“Hi, Dad.” She gave me a sad smile.
“Want some breakfast? Coffee?” I’d done some googling to make sure it was okay for Savannah to have caffeine. One cup. Max.
“No, thanks. I don’t want to be jittery in first period.”
“What’s up?” It was early, just after seven, but it was a school day, so she was probably on her way. “Did you forget something?”
She shook her head and walked to the couch, plopping down on the edge. “I saw Everly last night.”
My entire frame stiffened. “Where?”
“Pizza Palace.”
She’d gone to the pizza place? I’d assumed she’d gone to Lucy and Duke’s. “Was she alone?”
Savannah nodded. “Yeah. She was sitting at a table. Mom and Julian wanted to go out to dinner, and they let me pick because I got an A on my algebra test. I didn’t feel like the café since . . .”
Since we’d run into my parents and brother and they’d pretended not to know her.
“I get it,” I said, taking the seat beside her.
“What did you do to her?” Savannah’s tone made me feel like the water cup in my studio after a long day at the easel: dirty and destined for the drain.
“It’s complicated.”
Yesterday had been one of the longest of my life. Since Everly had walked out of the gallery, there’d been a knot in my stomach. I’d tried to work past it. I’d come home and locked myself in the studio until after dark. When I’d finally come inside, I’d expected to find her here, but the house had been empty. Eerie. Lonely. Sleep had been impossible without her beside me, not knowing if she was all right. Every text and phone call I’d made had gone unanswered.
“Complicated,” Savannah repeated. “That’s what she said.”
Complicated was an understatement.
“She looked so sad. And then Mom was being a bitch and called her a gold digger.”
“Christ.” My jaw clenched. Everly had dealt with enough, especially f
rom me. She didn’t deserve to have April coming after her too.
Savannah huffed a laugh. “Don’t worry. Everly dealt it right back. She called Mom a cunt.”
I choked on my own saliva, coughing and clearing my throat. Not just from hearing that word come from my kid’s mouth, but the fact that Ev would lose her composure like that. Normally, she put on a false smile and killed with kindness.
“It was kind of funny to see Mom lost for words. Like a taste of her own medicine. Usually she’s the one throwing shade.”
Still didn’t make it right that Ev should have had to in the first place. “Then what?”
“Everly left. I ran after her and asked why she wasn’t going home. And she said it was complicated.”
“Yeah.” I rested a hand on her knee. “It is.”
“I’m not stupid. I can understand complicated.”
“I know you’re not stupid, Savannah. I just . . . I don’t want to burden you with this.”
Her shoulders curled in. “She could have said a lot more than just calling Mom a cunt.”
“Please stop saying cunt.”
“Sorry.” She laughed. “It was funny.”
I was jealous that Everly had gotten to say exactly what I’d wanted to for years.
“She could have done worse,” Savannah said. “She could have told them and everyone that Julian slapped me.”
My breath caught in my throat. It was the first time Savannah had admitted to me that Julian had hit her.
I was going to kill that son of a bitch. I was going to break every bone in his body and leave him a bloody pile of pulp. I’d always wondered what had happened in that house. I’d speculated. But hearing Savannah admit it created a rage so deep in my veins, violence seemed like the only way to work it out. Dragging a long breath through my nose, I grabbed hold of my temper with an iron fist. Now was not the time to explode.
“When?” I asked even though I already knew the answer. “When did he slap you?”
“The day of the farmhouse. We got in a fight that morning and he slapped me across the face. That’s why I skipped school. Why Travis found me in Widow Ashleigh’s barn. I admitted it to Travis and Lucy and Ev at the farmhouse, right before that psycho tried to kill us. Everly could have called Mom and Julian on it last night and made it public. But she didn’t. I think because she knew it would only make my life harder.”