by Skye Darrel
Maddox’s smile turns wider and thinner. “You came to the right place.”
She leads me to the elevator, and we ride to the top floor.
I must be entering a surreal world because Vice President Maddox of BrightStar Human Resources treats me like I’m the president of BrightStar. She holds doors open until I walk through. We stop in a break lounge with leather sofas, and she offers me a cappuccino. I'm jittery enough and turn it down. Then she shows me a big empty office with floor-to-ceiling glass walls. If I get the job, Maddox tells me, the office is mine. I’m speechless.
We finish the tour in a corner office slightly smaller than the one she just showed me. I sit in front of her desk while she eases into an executive chair. “Pleased to meet you, Cheryl.”
My mouth hangs open slightly. “Are you sure you have the right person?”
“Of course. Cheryl Dolloway.”
“What position am I interviewing for? Your email didn’t say.”
“Research Analyst. It’s a high-level position on paper.”
“On paper?”
Maddox looks at a file on her desk. “The requirements don’t apply to you, Ms. Dolloway. You’re under special consideration.”
“I don’t understand, all I did was upload my resume on your website.”
“You mean our resume bank?” She waves her hand. “We get thousands every week. Most are unread. No, Cheryl, your resume was forwarded to me from our headquarters in Manhattan. You’re a lucky gal,” Maddox says, folding her arms. “You must know someone important. Let's get started. All of this is a formality, in any case. You already have the job as far as I'm concerned, not that I had much say in the matter—"
“Wait, what?”
Maddox sits back in her chair, her smile gone. “Let’s cut to the chase. Felix Lupton himself ordered me to hire you, so please don’t pretend you’re simply another applicant. In my opinion, you’re not even qualified to be a receptionist, never mind an analyst, but it’s not up to me. Can we move along please? I have a busy day.”
I shake my head, my face warm. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, ma’am.”
“Sweetheart, Felix Lupton is the CEO of BrightStar. Are you saying you don’t know him?”
“I’ve never heard of him before in my life!”
“If you say so.”
“Can I talk to him?”
“He’s in New York,” Maddox ways.
“They have phones in New York last I checked.”
Kim studies me, then taps the speaker on her desk phone and punches in a long number. She gets two secretaries before the call is transferred to Felix Lupton’s office.
A man’s voice answers, “What is it, Kim?”
“Felix, that girl you mentioned is here. She wants to speak with you—”
“Christ I told you not to bring up my name. Just put her on payroll and I’ll take care of the rest.
“She insisted on speaking with you,” Maddox says. “And we’re on speaker, Felix.”
The other end buzzes.
I lean over the desk. “Mr. Lupton?”
There’s a long, weary sigh. “Hello, Cheryl. Please call me Felix. Kim, give us some privacy.”
The vice president shrugs and leaves the office. “She’s gone,” I say.
“How much do you know?” Felix asks.
“About what?”
Felix makes a throaty noise. “I’ll take that as nothing. Cheryl, I’m an old buddy of Sawyer Ambrose, we were roommates in college. I'm sure you know Saw.”
My heart jumps. “I do.”
“What do you know about him?”
“He owns Avalon Apartments,” I stammer. “He’s . . . my landlord.” Among other things.
Felix grunts. “Saw bought that apartment building a few years back. Before then he was on the executive board at BrightStar. He owns the company, Cheryl. We’re co-owners. We founded BrightStar in our dorm ten years ago. Sawyer had a vision, and I had business acumen. We made a good pair. The company has obviously expanded since then."
I sink into my chair, a riot behind my chest.
“Cheryl?”
“I’m here.”
“You’re his girlfriend right?”
I don't know what I am anymore. "We met when I moved to Avalon."
“Lucky him. Listen, Saw didn’t tell me the specifics, but he said he loves you and I believe him. He wanted to help you find a job at BrightStar. He said it’d make you happy.”
I grip the armrests of my chair, unable to speak.
“BrightStar is a great place to work,” Felix goes on. He explains how the company makes batteries for everything from electric cars to smartphones and jets. BrightStar is revolutionizing renewable energy and green tech. “All the original patents for our proprietary technology came from Saw. The guy’s a genius.”
Sawyer is worth millions, Felix explains, hundreds of millions. Felix goes on and on, like he’s promoting Sawyer for my benefit, and all the while his voice dwindles in my head. I stare at the blinking red light on the phone and think about a thousand things. But mostly I think that the past few days have been a big lie.
“Sawyer didn’t tell you?” Felix finally asks.
“He told me he rents apartments for a living.”
Felix clears his throat. “He has his reasons, Cheryl. He’s always been a private person, didn’t like publicity. After he bought Avalon he became even more of a recluse. Most of our own employees don't know who he is. But like I said, Sawyer has his reasons for hiding. You could ask him—”
I get out of my chair. “Thank you for your time, Felix. Please cancel my application.” I end the call and walk out the door. Kim Maddox doesn’t try to stop me, and I’m already rushing toward the elevators. Tears blur my eyes.
The ride down is a lot harder than the way up. I’m lucky people get in the elevator with me. My eyes dry, and the burn behind my nose fades away. I’ve had a thing about crying in public ever since my second foster mother told me it was unladylike.
Outside the building, Sawyer’s leaning against his fancy electric car at the curb. His hands are in his pockets, and for once he looks younger than his years. I march over.
Sawyer flinches. “Baby—”
“I talked with Felix. Why didn’t you tell me you own BrightStar?”
“I wanted to surprise you,” Sawyer says.
“Consider me surprised.”
Sawyer runs a hand through his hair. “All right, I should’ve told you earlier.”
“Why hide it? What were you doing, messing with me?”
“No, Cheryl. Never. You wouldn’t let me help you get a job and—I wanted to help. That’s all. I didn’t know how to tell you. We’re so good together, I didn’t want to see you suffer. I love you.”
I look him in the eye. Maybe Sawyer's telling the truth. Maybe he thinks he's in love with me, but if he really loved me, he would've been truthful from the start.
Then I realize I’ve been asking the wrong questions. He has his reasons. “Why do you live a double life, Sawyer? Why did you buy Avalon?”
He struggles to speak.
I pull open the passenger side door and get in and slam it shut. After a while, Sawyer slides into the driver’s seat. To his credit, he doesn’t try to deny anything or tell me everything’s all right. He starts the car and drives us back.
Chapter Nine
SAWYER
We sit in the living room on my sofa. I hold her chin, but Cheryl scoots away from me.
“Don’t be like this,” I say.
“Tell me why,” she says. “Why do you hide from the world?”
“I’m not hiding.”
“Yes, you are. Why did you leave BrightStar?”
A long time passes before I find the words. “I didn’t create BrightStar to be rich or famous. I did it for my sister.”
Cheryl stares at me, and I tell her everything.
Stacey was born a year after me. My parents said we could’ve been twins as ba
bies. The older we got, the more different we became. She was frail with her heart condition, whereas I was strong. Smart as hell too, my teachers told me. She was cursed, I was blessed. Those were the facts of our lives.
Our parents should’ve loved her more—if I could go back in time that’s what I’d tell them. They favored me. The son with a bright future. The son who finished middle school in two years because he was so goddamn bright.
The doctors said Stacey would never live past eighteen. I suppose our parents wanted someone they could invest in for the long haul, and that was me. Stacey was a burden.
My sister was never jealous. She looked up to me no matter how much I ignored her. Her heart, the one doctors can’t see, was too kind. And she was always volunteering at some hospital, usually the one she gets her surgeries at every year. Or she’d be reading about the environment and how humans produce so much garbage, how some animal no one’s heard of is going extinct because of pollution. We’re killing the planet and killing ourselves. Stacey cared about stuff like that even in elementary school. I was a self-centered little shit and didn’t care about anything but me.
On her eleventh birthday, we had a small party. I asked her why she cared. She should be out having fun. “Don’t you know your time is short? Don’t waste it, Stace.” I said that to her. Me, her brother.
Stacey told me she wanted to leave the world a better place than she’d found it. She knew she didn’t have much time. She didn’t want to waste it. That was the difference between us.
When we became teenagers, I ignored her even more. I was sick of the way she tagged along everywhere I went. I was too busy with school and a hundred other things. Science team. Debate team. Lacrosse. I was a superstar and I liked the attention. All the while, my kid sister died a little more every day. The time between her heart surgeries grew shorter and shorter. The doctors said pretty soon nothing could stop the inevitable.
Stacey didn’t change at all. She still looked up to me, and I didn’t deserve any of it. She thought I was a fucking hero, but she was the hero. I realized that when I got older. Stacey will always be my hero.
I started college in New York after I turned seventeen. In October, my parents called and said Stacey was in the hospital. Her heart valve had split open again, and this time it couldn’t be repaired. Only a matter of time. A week. A few days.
I flew back and went to see her in the hospital.
She didn’t cry. I did. She was ready. I wasn’t.
I thought I’d have more time to be a good brother. I thought I’d have more time to make up for the past. I asked her if there was anything she wanted. Anything at all. I would give it to her. “Wish on a star,” I said. And she said, “Save the world, Sawyer. Is that too much of an ask?”
Stacey died the next day.
The next year, I founded BrightStar Energy Solutions. Renewable energy. Efficient batteries. I was going to save the world starting with the environment. That’s what Stacey wanted. That’s what she believed, and it became my obsession. Fame and wealth didn’t interest me. I don’t even care about the environment. I did it all for my sister. I wanted to be the brother I should’ve been. I lived for that every hour of every day. And after BrightStar became a success, there was nothing left to live for.
Cheryl gives me a long stare. “Why buy an apartment building? Why live here?”
“When Stacey and I were kids, there used to be a park here called Avalon Fields. We visited a few times when she was still healthy enough to go outside. She liked it. Some real estate developer bought the land later and built this apartment building. After I moved back from New York, I bought the building from him. I almost had it torn down, but there were already tenants. So I settled in myself.”
Cheryl looks away. “You want to live with Stacey’s ghost.”
Her words make me flinch. “No, I just . . . ”
“What? You feel guilty because you ignored her? Living here is your way of punishing yourself? Making amends?”
“Something like that. Cheryl, I’m sorry if I misled you. I do love you.”
“Because I remind you of Stacey. Because I’m also a broken little girl, just in a different way.”
I hold her hand “No, it’s not like that.”
She pulls away and stands. “It’s exactly like that.”
“Cheryl, it’s not. You made me want to live again.”
“So I’m a replacement for your sister?”
I stand and face her. “You’re not a replacement for anyone. You’re you. I fell in love with you.”
“You remind me of someone, Sawyer. A man named Bo Klein. He pretended to be my friend, my mentor. Then he showed his true face and tried to put his hands on me. But you know what? At least he had the decency to wait four years.”
“Cheryl—”
“Please stop talking. I’m sorry about what happened to your sister, but I can’t love someone who lives in the past. And you’re right, Sawyer. I’m broken and you can’t fix me.”
I look her in the eye. “Cheryl, I know about your foster families. I know your biological parents abandoned you.”
“Looked me up, did you?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t know what it was like,” she says. “To be unwanted. That’s me. Unwanted.” She shakes her head and puts a hand on my shoulder. “I’m not the girl you think I am, and you’re not who I thought you were. It’s that simple.”
I feel a twinge of anger. “Nothing is so simple. I love you.”
“No you don’t. You love saving me. That’s what you love.”
She walks off to the bedroom, and I follow on her heels. Cheryl gets her luggage bag and starts packing. She doesn’t touch any of the clothes I bought for her.
“Where are you going?”
“Leaving,” she says.
I touch her shoulder. “Don’t.”
She spins around and slaps me, tears in her eyes. “I wish we’d never met,” she says.
I grab her hand and kiss it. I hold her close before I push her down to the bed. Cheryl squirms, her face torn, and the hurt in her eyes makes my chest ache even as the heat of her body makes my cock throb. She whispers, “You want one last fuck, is that it?” She slaps me again.
I drag my mouth down her neck and start to pull away, but Cheryl grabs the collar of my shirt and yanks, pulling me down to her mouth. Our lips mash together as she opens her legs, and a jolt shoots up my cock.
Her kiss is fierce, and she bites my lip hard enough that I taste blood, salty and metallic.
“Fuck me then,” she spits. “That’s all I’m good for anyway.”
“No.”
She yanks down my zipper and pulls out my erection, stroking me furiously.
My hand wraps around her neck, and I hitch her skirt up and yank her panties aside before I thrust into her. She’s tense and tight, and there’s nothing gentle about the motions of our bodies. I slam into her harder and faster as her nails dig into my back. We fuck like animals, colliding together, our bodies slick with sweat.
“Don’t cum inside me,” she says, rocking her hips up to meet my thrusts. Her words are a blunt command.
I pull out when I feel my balls draw up, and I lean over her panting. Her pussy is flushed red and swollen. I crawl down between her thighs and lash her clit with my tongue until she shrieks and shudders with orgasm. I stroke myself as she comes down, and a rope of cum shoots outs of my cock to splatter her belly.
Cheryl wipes herself off with the bed sheet and gets out of bed. She changes into her old shorts and finishes packing.
“Don’t leave,” I say.
“Don’t try to stop me.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“Back to Cumberland. Bo Klein still has a job waiting for me. Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” She zips up her bag and heads for the door.
“Wait.”
She halts with her back to me. I walk up and kiss her neck from behind.
�
�Don’t,” she says.
“I can’t let you go.”
“You don’t have a choice, Sawyer.” She spins around. “If you really want to help, let me out of my lease and get someone to help me move.” She lowers her eyes. “Don’t make this any harder.”
I look at her for a while, then I step back and nod. “Fine.”
“Goodbye, Sawyer.”
After Cheryl leaves, I call Buck and instruct him to organize a crew to help Cheryl move her belongings out. Then I call my lawyer.
Chapter Ten
CHERYL
Sawyer’s movers work quickly, hauling my boxes out of the apartment to my car. They save my mattress for last. Watching them carry the mattress out, I remember that first day when Sawyer helped me move in, just the two of us, and I smile before the memory brings an ache to my chest.
After the movers finish, I look around one more time at the freshly painted walls, the new furniture still wrapped in plastic sheets, and a pang of guilt hits me. But I tell myself I’m doing the right thing. I hold Pixie to my chest before I pack her in my backpack. This wasn’t the home for us.
As I’m locking the door, Maria’s voice makes me jump. “Cheryl!”
I turn around.
She hugs me before I can even speak. “What happened? You’re leaving?”
“Sawyer and I didn’t work out. I’m sorry. But I can’t stay here anymore, I just can’t.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Maria frowns, holding my shoulders. “Did he hurt you?”
“No . . . ” At least not how she means. Maria stares at me, waiting for an explanation, and the concern in her eyes makes me choke out in tears. She hugs me again.
“Maybe it’s not anyone’s fault,” I say finally. “Maybe it’s just bad luck.”
“Cher, I don’t know what happened. But for what it’s worth, I think Sawyer’s a good guy.” She looks me in the eye. “I mean it.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Summer of my junior year, I needed an internship bad. Sawyer hooked me up at BrightStar, you know, that company on the billboard?”