The Fairy-Tale Detectives

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The Fairy-Tale Detectives Page 11

by Michael Buckley


  To take her mind off the wait, Sabrina tried to busy herself with chores. She collected her family’s dirty clothes and scrubbed them in a bucket of water. There wasn’t any detergent available, but she hoped the socks, jeans, and T-shirts might lose some of their peculiar funk if she drowned them a few times.

  After she hung them up to dry, she offered to help Pinocchio build a compost pile his father insisted he finish. But ten minutes later his constant whining and declarations that he was “too smart for menial labor” forced her to leave him to his task.

  She took Basil beneath a shade tree and the two counted the rusty orange-colored leaves left in the skinny branches. She fed the horses, then fed the chickens. She watched Boarman milk a cow. She helped Mallobarb and Buzzflower hang a tapestry, then wandered through the castle to explore the rooms, which would hopefully be living spaces for the new soldiers. None of her efforts distracted her for long. Eventually, she threw up her hands and marched off to see the magic mirrors. Maybe they had some news.

  She found them all waiting in their frames when she entered. Reggie, Titan, Fanny, Donovan, and Harry were all smiling, but the rest eyed her warily.

  “How was the wedding?” Fanny asked. “What did the bride wear?”

  “Was there any dancing?” Donovan said. “I was hoping someone would ask me to play some records. I have the most extensive collection of disco and funk in the known universe. Half of my collection is from bands that are purely imaginary.”

  “Who caught the bouquet?” Titan roared.

  “Everything was lovely,” Sabrina said. “It was like a fairy tale, but it’s all over now and drama has returned to Castle Charming.”

  She explained her family’s plan, what her mother would do, and what they hoped to gain.

  “So it sounds like they’re finally taking you seriously,” Reggie said.

  Sabrina nodded, but she wasn’t sure. It seemed that ever since the mirrors had made their prophecy, everyone was bossing the girls around more. She had offered her parents a few ideas about the speech earlier that afternoon, but they had all been dismissed. At the time she was OK letting her mom and dad make all the plans. After all, what did she know about any of this? But now, with the mirrors reminding her of her earlier complaints, she felt a little silly. “I guess they are.”

  “So what can we do for you?” Harry asked.

  “This meeting is scary. Everyone I know might die, including me. I think I need a reminder of why I’m doing it. Can you show me Granny?”

  The mirrors’ reflections became milky vapors until they coalesced into a lone figure wearing a filthy white dress—Granny Relda. Her long gray hair was a tangled briar, sticking out in all directions. Her eyes were smoldering black coals and her face, once kind and amused, was convulsing with bloodthirsty rage. Sabrina watched the old woman with increasing horror. Granny’s head cocked to the side as if she were peering back at Sabrina, and then she laughed. It was a low, foul, otherworldly sound, filled with violence and frenzy.

  “Stop!” Sabrina cried, tears in her eyes. “I can’t see this!”

  “We’re sorry, honey,” Fanny said as she and the other guardians returned.

  Titan roared fiercely. “I hate to see you so, girl. I swear on my life that the First will pay for his crimes. We’ll find a way to punish him and rescue your grandmother.”

  Sabrina prayed silently that Titan was right.

  “Hey! The black chicken is back,” Puck said. He had crept into the room without her knowing.

  “She’s a crow,” Sabrina said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

  “Whatever,” Puck said. For a moment his face had softened as he watched her cry, but now it was angry and determined again. He stomped out of the room, shouting behind him, “It’s time to go!”

  “He’s grouchy,” Fanny said.

  Sabrina sighed. “Yeah, well, whatever’s bothering him is going to have to wait until I get killed.”

  She said good-bye and hurried out to find the Widow surrounded by a crowd, all eager to hear how their invitation had been received. As Sabrina drew closer, she saw there were several unfamiliar birds with the crow.

  “I invited everyone I could find that didn’t try to kill me, which wasn’t too many,” the exhausted crow squawked to the gathered crowd. “And I managed to recruit a few along the way. Allow me to introduce to you our new aerial spy network: the Silver Pigeon, the Gold Pigeon, the Clockwork Owl, the canary, the duck here is named Lenchen, and the big one with all the plumes is a firebird. Don’t know his name yet, but the others say he is reliable.”

  The Firebird squawked in agreement.

  “Did you see my husband and daughter? Did you invite them?” Beauty asked.

  The Widow nodded her tiny head and hopped from the ground onto a tree stump. “I did. Now, whether they come or not is anyone’s guess. I told Beast not to bring any weapons. Then he fired a crossbow at me. Real special guy you got there, Beauty.”

  “He’s not really a bad person. He’s just caught up with the wrong people,” Beauty said.

  “Beast would be a great recruit,” Charming said as he handed a piece of paper to the Scarecrow. “I’ve made a wish list of some Everafters that would be very useful: the Ice Queen, the Frog Prince, Glinda, the Spider, and Big Hans are just a few. If any one of them shows a hint of coming our way, we need to help make it happen.”

  “We better get started if we want to make it to the town square on time,” Goldilocks said. The previous night’s encounter with Henry still seemed to be bothering her. She seemed self-conscious and wouldn’t look directly at Sabrina’s father.

  Mr. Canis agreed. “We should get there early. I don’t want to walk through a hostile crowd.”

  Veronica planted a kiss on Basil’s face and turned to give him to Red, who happily agreed to stay behind and look after him. “Be good, little man.”

  “Give your mommy a hug and say bye-bye,” Red told the toddler.

  Basil turned and looked up at Veronica apprehensively. Then he wrapped his arms around her leg.

  “Bye-bye,” he said.

  Veronica glowed like she had a string of Christmas lights inside of her.

  The group filed out into the woods for what Charming predicted would be a good two-hour hike. Unfortunately, the ground was a soupy mess from all the rain they’d been getting, and it slowed them down considerably. Someone suggested they all step into Baba Yaga’s house for an easier trip, but only Puck thought that was a good idea. It was also unusually chilly, made even colder by the sun-blocking trees. Still, the army marched onward.

  Mr. Canis hobbled forward to walk alongside the Grimms. “I don’t like this plan,” he growled. “We’ll be out in the open and vulnerable to all those thugs.”

  “We’ve got some of the most powerful witches and fairies in town on our side, Mr. Canis,” Sabrina said, “as well as the Hamelins and Beauty. Plus, for brute strength we’ve got the Three Bears, and Charming is no slouch.”

  “I can deliver a pretty mean kick to the shins too,” Daphne bragged.

  “I think you’re all entirely too overconfident,” Canis growled.

  “Don’t worry, we’ve got Puck, who has a variety of, um . . . unique talents,” Sabrina said.

  Puck stomped forward, interrupting the conversation. “Exactly what am I supposed to do?”

  “You’re keeping an eye on the girls,” Henry explained.

  Puck groaned. “I have been in the middle of a hundred wars, many of which I started myself. Why waste my sword on your rugrats? Can’t we just lock them in a playpen until it’s over?”

  “A playpen?” Sabrina said.

  “Yeah, like babies,” Puck said, then he stomped to the back of the line.

  “He’s moody,” Morgan said.

  “I think it’s something in the air,” Goldi grumbled.

  Finally, the group reached the edge of the downtown business district. The Widow’s description of the destruction of the town didn’t do it justi
ce. Streetlamp poles had been uprooted and were leaning against trucks, broken electrical wires popped and snapped on the ground like striking cobras, huge slabs of concrete were completely missing from sidewalks and streets, and there was an overpowering smell of burning metal. Worse, as Mr. Canis had feared, the army was late for the meeting. A sea of the Scarlet Hand waited for them at the gazebo. Sabrina and the others had to walk through the hostile crowd to get to the stage. She fully expected a magical attack or the feeling of a blade in her back. Many of the attendees were notorious troublemakers. Beast was there with his daughter, Natalie; as was Mayor Heart, Sheriff Nottingham, Glinda, the Three Blind Mice; Ms. Muffet and her husband, the Spider, as well as their creepy spider-boy, Toby; the White Rabbit, and a large contingent of ogres, imps, trolls, goblins, orcs, leprechauns, and brownies. A beautiful but very pale woman in a long white dress stood out from the crowd. The ground beneath her was a sheet of ice. Worse still were the faces in the crowd that Granny Relda once called friends: Mowgli, Baloo, Jack Pumpkinhead, Tik-Tok, Ozma, Hansel and Gretel, Old King Cole, Little John, and Mother Hubbard, each with a bright red handprint painted on their chests. If there was a silver lining, it was that Mirror and Atticus were nowhere to be seen.

  Mayor Heart and Sheriff Nottingham roughly shoved their way to the front of the crowd. Nottingham wore black leather pants and a matching overcoat. Heart was in a ball gown decorated with hearts and lace. Her face was as white as her powder wig, which stood in stark contrast to her bold, garish makeup. Whoever told her that swamp green and bright red would look good on her face was not the queen’s friend.

  “Say what you’ve come to say!” Heart barked through her trusty electronic megaphone. “Your bird said it was important and it better be. If you waste our time, I can’t guarantee this crowd will not rise up and attack you.”

  The crowd cheered and laughed. Many shook swords and knobby clubs in the air.

  Henry gave Veronica the thumbs-up, and she stepped to the front of the stage, fully vulnerable to the crowd. Sabrina could feel the panic rising in her throat as she imagined the endless number of attacks that could strike her mother down. They had put themselves at the mercy of a group of villains that wanted to see them dead. What were they thinking?

  “May I have your attention?” Veronica said.

  The crowd ignored her, so she asked again, with similar results.

  Finally, Heart blasted an angry “PIPE DOWN!” which quelled the crowd. “Let her talk! It’s the least we can do. She’ll be dead by nightfall.”

  The crowd’s second roar of approval infuriated Canis. He clenched his fists and looked ready to attack anyone who might approach, but the mob was not intimidated as they once might have been. For once, Sabrina missed the Big Bad Wolf.

  Unfazed, her mother looked out on the crowd. “Thank you for coming. I know that by standing here with us you are putting yourselves at risk, so I won’t waste your time. My name is Veronica Grimm. I am not known to many of you. My time in this town was short, but I developed a deep, personal relationship with the Everafters in Manhattan. I was considered an asset to the people of Faerie and to the late King Oberon, who turned to me for counsel. I can be of help to you, as well.”

  “Can you bring down the barrier?” Chicken Little squawked from the front of the crowd.

  Veronica shook her head.

  The audience booed loudly. A few bottles were flung at the stage and shattered at Veronica’s feet. Pieces flew at Morgan, but Mr. Seven swatted them away. Mordred’s hands glowed green and several people in the front of the crowd cried out in fear, so Henry begged him to stop. Mordred reluctantly did what he was asked.

  “Don’t worry, Grimm. When the crowd gets ugly. I’ll be here to save your butt,” Puck said to Sabrina. “Like always.”

  “What’s the matter with you? You’ve been a crybaby for days,” Sabrina snapped.

  “I’m just bored with saving your life. If you think I’m going to do this after we get married, you can forget it.”

  “First, we are not getting married, ever. Second, if you’re so put out, feel free to stop. I don’t need your help.”

  “Yes, you do!”

  “No, I don’t!”

  “Trust me, you do.”

  “Trust me, I’m fine. Find something else to do with your precious time. That nose of yours isn’t going to pick itself.”

  “I would love nothing more than to give my nose the attention it deserves, but if I did, you’d be dead within minutes,” Puck said. His head suddenly morphed into that of a lion and he roared angrily.

  Sabrina roared back, though it lacked the ferocity. It sounded ridiculous, but what was worse was the realization that the entire crowd was watching her and Puck. She had never been so embarrassed. Puck had an almost magical ability to get her to make a fool of herself. He could always find something that she was sensitive about, sometimes something she didn’t even know bothered her, and then poke at it until it made her crazy.

  “Ahem,” Veronica said, then turned her attention back to the crowd. “We have come here with an invitation. Join our cause.”

  There was a moment of silence and then an uproarious laugh so loud it hurt Sabrina’s ears.

  Veronica waited patiently until they calmed. “We know there are those among you who have been pressured through violence or threats to join the Hand. We know that you aren’t sure where you can turn. We have a place where you can be safe. You don’t have to live in fear any longer!”

  More bottles came crashing onto the little stage until Mordred had to step forward and cast a shield to protect the group.

  “The Master has turned his back on you,” Veronica shouted over the bedlam.

  “Who are you to question the Master?” Heart barked into her megaphone.

  “Because he is a liar,” a voice said, and the crowd grew deathly quiet. Sabrina turned and saw her uncle Jake climbing the steps to the gazebo. She looked to her father for an explanation, but he seemed just as confused.

  “Watch your tongue, Grimm, or my blade will remove it,” Nottingham raged.

  “Two years ago, your savior kidnapped my brother and his wife, then cast a sleeping spell on them. Veronica was pregnant, and while they slept a baby grew inside her. Once that baby was born, the Master stole him for a sick and perverted purpose. He wanted to put his spirit inside the child. Now, why would he do that?”

  “If you must know, he wanted to escape the barrier in the body of a human being,” Heart snapped.

  Jake smiled sympathetically. “How would that help you?”

  Heart stammered as if the question had never crossed her mind.

  “Once he was on the other side, he could find a way to lower this magical cage your family built!” Nottingham howled.

  “Once he’s on the other side? Nottingham, you’re a smart man. How could he turn it off from the outside?” Jake said to the crowd. “There’s no magic button on the other side. If he can’t lower it on this side, he can’t lower it on the other. He was playing you all for fools. He’s not going to set you free. He’s going to betray you the same way he did my family.”

  “He told me himself he had no plans of freeing you,” Sabrina said. “You would be too much competition for power.”

  “You lie!” Nottingham growled. “The Master will free us all, and together we will wipe out your foul, inferior race. This world will belong to Everafters, as it was intended.”

  “I know you don’t all believe that,” Jake said, scanning the crowd. “I can see it in your faces. You know that what is happening here is wrong, but you’re too afraid to stand up to this mob. You can stop. I am extending the olive branch myself. Join us.”

  Sabrina was flabbergasted. What happened to her uncle’s broken heart and anger? Where was his hostility and promises of revenge? Even Heart was speechless.

  Nottingham took the opportunity to speak. “Don’t listen to this liar. He wants to keep us in this cage like dogs! We can’t know the Master’s plan, b
ut he deserves our loyalty for opening our eyes to the truth! For too long our destiny has not been our own, and there is no one to blame but this family who now stands here begging us not to kill them. They know they cannot beat us this time, so they come arrogantly waving the white flag for truce. Well, they should be waving it in surrender.”

  “The Master said he was all-powerful,” the White Rabbit cried. “He said if we helped him with his plans, he would free us. But we are still trapped here.”

  Nottingham seethed. “Then perhaps he needs some more help! The spell that keeps us here says that when the last Grimm dies the barrier falls. If we kill them now, we’ll be free.”

  The crowd grew louder and more excited.

  “Except that killing us won’t get you what you want at all, you moron,” Jake said. “The Master is inside my mother’s body. He thought he could just walk out of town but it hasn’t happened. He can’t escape any more than you can—in fact, he’s making it worse on you because now he’s a Grimm too. Even if you were to kill everyone in my family, there would still be one Grimm alive—and who here is going to kill your all-powerful savior?”

  The crowd grew silent.

  “Now you’re getting it,” Jake continued. “The Master can’t get his freedom and he can’t give it to you, either. There’s only one person in the world who will give you your freedom. Me!”

  “You?” the Frog Prince cried.

  “Fifteen years ago I tried to do my brother a favor by letting his then-girlfriend out of this town. I snuck into Baba Yaga’s house, found Wilhelm’s spell in one of her books, and stole it. Then I turned the magic off long enough for her to leave.”

  “It’s true,” Goldilocks said as she stepped forward. “He let me out. I lived outside of the town for fifteen years before I came back to help save Henry and his wife.”

  Jake reached into his pants pocket and took out a well-worn piece of paper. He unfolded it gently and held it up so everyone could see it. “Turn your back on the Master, help us save my mother, and I will free you. This is the spell to lower the barrier.”

  “Jake, what are you doing?” Mr. Canis said. “You’ll ruin everything.”

 

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