“Really? Is that allowed? I mean, aren’t you and Will a thing? That’s what it sounds like and Rick, dickhead, seems to think so too.”
I seesaw my head side to side. “It’s not like you and Rick.”
She quirked a brow. “What’s it like? You mean, friends with benefits?”
I nodded.
She grinned. “You go, girl. From virgin to sexed up on a regular basis. Is it good? I bet it’s really good. Will looks like a man who knows what he’s doing.”
I could feel the heat of a blush on my cheeks. “Yes, it’s good, but…”
“But what?” Angela had a rapt look on her face as she stuffed a large scoop of ice cream in her mouth.
“If my principal finds out, I’ll be fired. They have a strict rule about dating other teachers and parents.”
“What business is it of hers?”
I sipped my wine, wanting the warmth to soothe my confused nerves. “It’s not I guess, I don’t know. I just know it’s a rule. I can’t afford to lose my job though. Not over NSA sex, no matter how good it is.”
Angela frowned. “Are you sure it’s no-strings?”
“Yes.” I put my wine down and got my ice cream. “He’s been clear about that from the beginning.”
She shrugged as she took another bite. “Rick was thinking it might be more.”
“Why?” A blossom of hope bloomed in my chest, which was idiotic because if he felt more, it would make my decision about work and him all the more difficult.
“He said Will doesn’t usually see a woman more than once. And apparently, Will gushes about how good you are with Mollie. Rick said the way to Will’s heart was through Mollie.” She eyed me. “Do you want in his heart?”
I let out a long sigh.
“You do!” She perked up at that.
“I don’t know. I can’t risk losing my job over a man.”
“There are other jobs.”
I shook my head. “Teaching jobs aren’t always that easy to get. And they’re even harder if you’ve been fired from a job because you’ve been sleeping with a parent.”
She blew out a breath. “I see. That would be a conundrum. What are you going to do?”
I shrugged. “I need to stop having sex with him. He’s looking at buying a house for himself and Mollie. The sooner that happens and he’s not my neighbor, the better.” But the prospect made me sad. I blamed the wine when tears came to my cheeks.
“Oh, honey.” Angela put her ice cream down and scooted next to me. She wrapped her arm around me. “Something will work out.”
I rested my head on her shoulder. “I’m supposed to be comforting you.”
“We’ll comfort each other. Should I ask my cute coworker if he’s got a friend? My last attempt to set you up went pretty good. Perhaps I have a future in matchmaking.”
I laughed and felt so grateful to have a friend like Angela. I told myself that whatever happened with Will, or even my job, she’d be there for me.
Chapter 10
Will
It was the middle of the day on Friday, and I was working like a madman to complete this project for an online start up needing ad copy for its website. I wanted to get it done and invoiced because I had a new project for an existing client that paid well and I wanted to focus on that next week. That project would give me the final few thousand I needed for a down payment to buy a house for Mollie and me.
I was just hitting save on the sales letter when there was a knock and then my door opened.
“Will?”
“Rick.” I stood from my makeshift office in the dining portion of my condo. When I bought Mollie and me a house, I’d have a room for a separate office. I was looking forward to that, although I would miss having the ocean as my office view. “What’s up, man?”
“I know you’re working, but it’s Friday. I brought us some brew.” He held up a case of beer.
I quirked a brow. “Where’s Angela?”
He sighed and it looked like all the air had gone out of him. “She’s gone, man.” Then he straightened. “But I’m a free man. Can’t be tied down, you know?”
I nodded, although it appeared to me Rick wanted to be tied down. It also appeared he needed a friend. My mother was picking up Mollie from school for a girl’s weekend, so I had time to help a friend in need. Hopefully, he’d be gone by the time Ellie got home because I had plans for us that involved her little toy, Fred. “Let me send this invoice and I’ll meet you on the balcony.”
“I’ll start without you.” He made his way outside.
I sent my invoice and then grabbed a bag of tortilla chips and salsa to help absorb Rick’s beer drinking. I suspected this wasn’t the first one of the day.
I sat next to him and watched the ocean roll in and out. It was a kind of therapy. “So, what happened?” I opened my beer and took a long swig.
“Fuck man, I’m not sure.” He drank from his bottle. “She was saying something about how all my stuff was there and I blew a gasket. I’m not ready to move in with her.”
I wasn’t sure I heard him right. “She asked you to move your stuff in?”
“Nah. I spend a lot of time there, right? So, I have a lot of stuff there, and she was pointing that out. But I knew what she was really saying.”
“What was she really saying?” I grabbed a chip, scooped some dip and put it in my mouth.
“She wants to move in together. Take the next step. You know.”
“So, you told her you weren’t ready?”
“Yes, and then she was in my face about how I was an arrogant ass and that wasn’t what she was saying, and it just went all off the rails from there.”
It sounded like my friend lost his girl over a miscommunication. “I’m sorry. Do you think you two will work it out?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have any stuff there now. I packed it all and hightailed it out of there. I spent that first night at the Blue Light, drinking my fill, and checking out the ladies.”
I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t quite sure how serious Rick and Angela were, but I felt certain that his finding companionship with another woman wasn’t going to help him, and would likely make it hard to reconcile with Angela if that was an option.
“How’d that go?”
Rick shook his head. “I fucking called her Angela.” He looked up at me. “Not in bed. It didn’t get that far. But I was up on her in the bar and called her Angela. How fucked up is that?”
“It sounds like you’re not ready to move on.”
He took a long drink of his beer. “Don’t have much choice though, do I?” He turned to me. “How’d you do it after Tiffany?”
I looked out over the water, not wanting to talk about Tiffany. “I had a kid to take care of, so I didn’t have much choice. Plus, I was angry at her for leaving Mollie, but a part of me was relieved. We’d been over emotionally long before that. It’s not the same.”
“Love sucks.”
His comment surprised me. “Love?”
“Yeah, man. Fuck. I think I love her.”
I laughed. “Maybe you need to try to work it out.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“If she feels the same as you, maybe you have a chance. Come up with a grand gesture.”
“Like what?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. What the hell do I know about love?”
Rick seemed to think on it. “Maybe. I miss her man.” He laughed. “Who’d have thought I’d get ensnared by a woman?”
“It does boggle the mind.”
He stood. “I think I’ll head out to the point, clear my head. Want to come?”
I rose and walked with him to the door. “Nah, I got plans.”
He looked at me with a knowing smile as I opened the door. “I guess things are going good with your teacher?”
“We enjoy each other’s company from time to time.”
“So, it’s like that, huh? No strings?”
“No strings,” I confi
rmed, although the words didn’t quite ring true to my ears.
He lingered in the doorway. “Are you sure about that? I’ve never seen you spend so much time with one woman. Perhaps Cupid has shot his arrow in your ass as well.”
I shook my head vehemently. “Nope.”
He laughed. “Me thinks you protest too much.”
“Nope.”
He studied me. “She’d be a good mom for Mollie. And clearly, she must have other…assets, or you wouldn’t be sticking around.”
“Ellie is a great friend and I do enjoy being with her, but there won’t be more than what we’ve got now.”
“You sure about that?”
“Positive. I’m not serious about her.” The words scratch through my mouth like sandpaper, which doesn’t make sense. Ellie and I are friends with benefits. That’s it.
“Okay, if you say so.”
“Go figure out how to deal with your own woman.”
He patted my shoulder. “Thanks, man. You’re a good friend. Keep the beer.” He handed me the case.
Once he left, I took one beer and put the rest in the fridge. Then I headed back out to the balcony. The situation with Rick and Angela was exactly why Ellie and I would never be more than friends with benefits. At least Rick escaped without having an unplanned pregnancy. Not that I was complaining because Mollie was the center of my world.
Then again, I suspected Rick was going to get his shit together and find a way back to Angela. I hoped it worked out when he did. But me? I was going to avoid all entanglements involving the heart. Been there, done that, don’t want to do it again.
I checked my watch and realized that Ellie should have been back by now. I smiled and my cock thickened as I thought about all the new things I planned to try with her tonight.
Chapter 11
Ellie
I’m not serious about her.
Will’s words landed with a hard thunk on my heart. If I hadn’t been sure of my feelings before, I was clear now, because those words hurt. They hurt a lot. And that meant I had feelings for him. After all, I wouldn’t care that he was treating me like a just fuck buddy if I didn’t have more than friendly feelings for him.
A part of me was angry, and yet, he’d been clear from the beginning that he wasn’t a man to make a commitment. I’d gone full-steam ahead with him because I wanted his touch.
I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. I’d just arrived home from work, and was walking up the stairs when I heard Will and Rick talking.
“Ellie is a great friend and I do enjoy being with her, but there won’t be more than what we’ve got now.”
“You sure about that?”
“Positive. I’m not serious about her.”
As much as I knew what he said was true, to hear them was like a stab in my heart. I thought of all the times we’d been together. The way we touched each other. The way I craved him even now when my heart was breaking.
Sex isn’t love, I reminded myself. My feelings were probably just confused. It wasn’t like I had a ton of experience with affairs of the heart, or body, in this case. But my heart said otherwise. My heart hurt at his words, and it was clear that somehow, during our time together as friends with benefits, my feelings crossed over into something more.
I knew Mollie was out tonight and that Will would be over for dinner and sex. I’d been looking forward to it all day, even as I worried my boss would find out. But now, I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t look into his lovely blue eyes and know that for him, I was just someone to fuck.
I texted Angela.
Need more wine and ice cream. Your place?
She replied almost instantly.
Got wine, you need to stop for ice cream.
I took a shower and changed into shorts and a t-shirt, and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. There was no need to look nice when I was going to my own pity party. I wrote a note and taped it to my door for Will, thinking he’d be more likely to see it on mine when he came over than on his. I simply said that I had to go to Angela’s. Considering Rick was over earlier, Will had to know they’d broken up, so my being there for Angela would make sense. If only he knew I was seeing her because of my own hurt. I could only imagine what he’d do if he learned my true feelings. He’d probably freak out. At least, I wouldn’t be risking my job then.
I left my place, stopping to buy ice cream and then heading to Angela’s little apartment on the other side of town.
“Trouble in paradise?” Angela asked me when she let me into her apartment.
“Just need time to think.”
“Okay. Wine is on the coffee table. Did something happen?”
I went to her small living area while she got spoons for the ice cream. “Just a dose of reality.”
“Tell me all about it.” She handed me a spoon and sat next to me. Pouring us each a glass a wine, she sat back to listen, just as I’d listened to her the other day.
“I’m not sure I can keep going like this.”
“Friends with benefits?” she asked. “Did something change?”
I told her how I’d heard Will tell Rick he wasn’t serious about me.
“But you knew that. What changed?”
I shrugged, knowing I was crazy for feeling hurt.
Her eyes softened. “What’s changed is that you want him to be serious. You’ve fallen for him?”
“Maybe. I just know his comment hurt even though I knew how he felt.” I took a big sip of my wine, wanting the liquid to burn away my pain. “On a good note, it sounds like Rick wants to win you back.”
She made a face. “He’s like Will, he just wants sex without the emotion. And I’m like you. I want more.”
“It’s not fair of me to change the rules at this point.”
“You could tell him how you feel.”
“That would scare him off.” I picked up my ice cream container, popping the lid.
“That’s the answer then, right? But maybe he does care.” Angela poured more wine into our glasses.
“He’s been clear the whole time where he stands on relationships. I guess the real issue for me, besides developing feelings for him is that I’m risking my job. I’m an idiot to risk being fired over a man that I’ll never have a future with.”
She sighed. “That’s true. What are you going to do?”
I shook my head as if I didn’t know what to do when I really did.
“Like I said, you can lay it on the line. Tell him about your job and how you feel.”
I could and I should. The end result would likely be the same if I’d just simply ended things. The certainty in Will’s voice when he assured Rick he didn’t care about me proved that he’d simply let me go.
We talked more, and I ate half of my ice cream. Unfortunately, no amount of ice cream and wine would dull the sadness I was feeling over my need to end things with Will.
We were about to put a movie in when there was a knock on Angela’s door.
“I wonder who that is?” She went to the door and looked through the peephole. “God, it’s Rick.” She opened the door.
He stood with a box in his hand.
“Rick, what are you doing here?” Angela asked.
“I’m bringing these back.”
I realized this was his moment to try and win Angela back. I felt a bit like a voyeur.
“What is it? I thought I got all my stuff.” She peered in the box.
“This is my stuff…that was here before…before I fucked up.”
I smiled because there was something sweet about a man being vulnerable with his feelings to a woman he cared about.
Angela stood there staring at him as if she didn’t know what to do.
I rose from the couch, and for the first time, Rick noticed me.
“Oh…I didn’t know…”
I waved his comment away. “I’m heading home.”
“Are you going to be ok?” Angela asked.
“I’ll be fine. You and Rick need to talk.”
&nbs
p; “You okay to drive?” Rick asked eying the empty wine bottle.
“I’ll call an Uber.”
He looked unsure. “I can drive you. Or I’ll call Will and ask him to come get you.” He frowned. “I thought you had plans with him.”
“I’ll call a car.” I gave Angela a hug. “Thank you, Ang.”
Still looking a little stunned, she nodded.
“I’ll call tomorrow.” As I walked down to the parking lot, I pulled out my phone, opening the app for a car. It felt odd to order a car when mine was right there. I wondered how I’d get it home.
When the car arrived, I took time during the ride home to think about what to do about Will. I knew Will was home alone tonight, making it the best time to tell him that there couldn’t be any more benefits to our friendship. I figured I didn’t need to tell him why because it wouldn’t matter. As much as I thought Will enjoyed our time together, chances were that he’d shrug and say okay, accepting my decision. After all…
I’m not serious about her.
Chapter 12
Will
It had been a long time since I was alone for a night. Most nights when Mollie was with my parents, I was out with Rick. Tonight, hopefully, he was making up with Angela now, so I couldn’t call. Recently, my parent-free nights were spent with Ellie, but she had something to do with her friend.
I stopped short. They couldn’t both be with Angela, could they?
Either way, they were busy and I was alone. At first, I enjoyed the peace. I considered getting ahead in my work but then opted to just enjoy the quiet. I could go to the beach, but because booze wasn’t allowed on the beach, I went out on to the balcony and looked out over the water. The moon cast a white glare on the water and I wished Ellie was here to admire it with me.
I wished Ellie was around a lot. A lot more than I was comfortable with.
I’m not serious about her.
I’d said that to Rick and I meant it, although I was beginning not to believe it. If I wasn’t serious about her, I wouldn’t be missing her right now, right? I wouldn’t be wishing she was here enjoying the view and sharing her day with me.
She was a captivating woman with a mixture of confidence and vulnerability. I had a maddening need to show her how beautiful and sexy she was. I loved how she was with Mollie, who’d grown so much in the last few weeks - from a painfully shy child to one that now raised her hand in class, according to Ellie.
Blind Date: Single Dad-Baby Romance Page 7