by Unger, Erin;
“OK.”
She pulled out one slip and read it. “Aunt Lonna ordered three hundred balloons, some fake columns, even doilies for the tables. Sounds like it was going to be a nice party.”
“Uh-huh. There’s one over here for seating arrangements.”
Maddie set her paper down and went to his side. “I wonder if that’s the paper Mom had said one of the members was looking for.”
He handed it to her, his fingers grazing hers. How good it was to have someone in all this mess—Even Joze—especially Joze. He put her first. Again. Who else would do that as much as he had in the past days?
She looked at his bent head and the desire to run her hands through his hair was almost irresistible. Her hand hovered just over the nape of his neck. Don’t do it. In a soft voice, she murmured, “Thanks Joze. You’ve been here for me through so much.”
He turned, smiled, and then gazed at her, a question in his eyes.
Yes, she’d admitted it. She needed him, indeed wanted him for more than physical protection. But how could she let herself say it out loud? Was this a moment of weakness, or did she really care about him? Love him? “Um…”
Maddie pulled away, slow and unsure, and planted her feet. “We better get back to work.”
He got up and stepped close to her. “What if I don’t want to?”
She studied the ground, the past hanging between them. “Look, Joze.” She paused. What could be said? It’d all been rehashed over and over and they’d been at a stalemate before.
28
The crowing of the rooster ringtone on his phone startled Joze. Todd’s ringtone. Adrenaline raced through him as he glanced at Maddie and took in her crossed arms and questioning look. This was the worst time—no, the best time—to talk and clear the air regarding four years ago. He held up a finger for Maddie to give him a minute and then slid the talk button to the right as he raced down the stairs and out the door.
How many times had he tried to reach Todd over the past couple days? He clenched and unclenched his left hand as he tried to formulate words in his mind. “Hey.” What would it take for Todd to tell him the truth? A call on the old brother code they’d used as kids? Todd wouldn’t dare renege on that.
Todd’s jovial voice held its usual laughter. “Long time no call, buddy.”
Joze’s tone went cold. “Why didn’t you return my calls?”
“Whoa. I’ve been on vacation, OK?”
Joze’s heart rate skyrocketed into overtime. Should he go hard and fast or start out easy? No, hard and fast. Please don’t lie to me. “Tell me what you did to Maddie Clare. Now.”
Todd sputtered, “You know.”
“Don’t lie to me,” he bit out. “I’ve heard her side, and I know you tried something with her. But I want to hear the truth from you.” He could forgive, but he’d never have another thing to do with Todd again once the words were out. The ones he knew in his heart to be true.
“Fine.” He went into his side of the story, this time admitting it had been an attack, yet trying to explain how it was Maddie’s fault.
Joze swallowed the bile in his throat. All these years he’d trusted Todd. Looked out for him as a brother. And shielded him. Now the truth lay before him like a scene played out in his nightmares. “Good-bye.”
Todd tried to stop him from hanging up. “We’ve been friends since we were in diapers. You can’t do this, Joze. Not over her.”
Anger shot black spots into his eyes. Joze didn’t answer.
“I…I…” When Todd stuttered, Joze pulled the phone away from his ear and began to hang up, but then put it back. “It was a mistake. But I can’t take it back now.”
“A mistake?” he yelled. “I can’t believe you—It’s going to take a lot more than that for you to fix this. Don’t be surprised to find charges pressed against you.”
“Whoa, stop there. She can’t.”
“She can. And I’ll make sure she does.” He wished it were possible to punch Todd through the phone. “I can’t deal with you right now—maybe never again.” The fact that he’d believed his friend over Maddie cut deep into his heart.
Joze looked up to the window of the office. How was he going to fix this? How could he take back all the pain and agony he’d caused her and expect forgiveness? Once he told her about the call, she’d explode. And there would be no coming back. No amount of groveling was good enough to make up for his lack of trust. But the days had been building up to this precipice. Joze had to make it right, even if it meant losing her again.
He hit the end call button and dropped his hand to his side, squeezing his eyes shut. What to say? How to say it?
Please God, see me through this.
Joze slowly made his way back up the to the office. Each step affirmed that he was certainly going to lose Maddie again.
29
Maddie glimpsed a shadow on the floor moving in her direction. She flinched and spun around, but only Joze stood at the top of the stairs. He rubbed the back of his neck and clenched his jaw. Alarm raced through her. What had elicited the pained look in his eyes? “Something happen?”
With heavy, slow steps, he reached for her and pulled her into his arms. She blinked. “What?”
Shuttering his eyes, he pressed his forehead to hers, taking a breath. When he opened them again, his grip tightened around her and she dared not move. Bad news for sure.
“Please, start talking before I lose it. What happened? Are you OK?”
He looked to the ceiling. A prayer sent heavenward?
Maddie took in every fiber of his being that touched her. How she wanted to stay secure in his arms. Yet she couldn’t.
He pulled away an inch and rested his hands on her upper arms. “That was Todd on the phone.”
Ice ran through her veins, creating a shiver. Maddie dropped her hands and went stiff as she trained her gaze on his. Had he admitted the truth? She tried to read Joze’s expression.
“He admitted to it. And…”
Her nostrils flared as she took three steps back.
“I don’t know how you’re ever going to forgive me.” With a rush of words, Joze continued, “I know I don’t deserve it, but please—I’m begging you to forgive me.”
Her mouth dropped open and she couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. She wanted to drop-kick him. “I told you. You should’ve believed me.”
“You’re right. You are,” he spoke fast. “I can’t believe I am such an idiot.”
She wanted to scream at him, pummel him, something. But forgive him? No.
Shock shuddered through her. “All this time—”
“I wasted it. It’s all my fault. But please—I want to make it right. Whatever it takes,” he implored her with open arms.
“How can you?” Rage replaced the shock once again.
“I’ll take you to the police. You should file a report against him. I want to kill him right now too.”
I can’t believe this.
“I’m begging you. Please, let’s work this out. I’ll do anything.”
She melted a fraction and didn’t manage to avoid his begging eyes. Then he moved. Was he going to drop to his knees?
Just then, his knees bent and touched the floor. “Don’t leave me now. We’ve come so far these past days.”
“Get up. Don’t do that.” How could she resist such a pitiful look? But he’d ruined everything they could’ve had. “Trust is paramount. You destroyed it.”
She crossed her arms tight against her chest. What should she do? Everything warred in her. He wanted to make amends, but could she? Why should she? She didn’t need him. “It’s going to take more than you begging to fix this,” she sputtered.
“It doesn’t make sense now, but Todd was my best friend. Since we were babies. I never thought he was capable of such—base behavior. Not until you, and this week, and…”
The need to knock him over hit her between the shoulders, but she restrained the urge. “And I wasn’t important enough for y
ou to believe?”
His hands went to his head.
“Get up. Please.” She couldn’t see him on the floor any longer.
“Not until you forgive me.”
With that, Maddie strode over to him and grabbed his arm. “Really.”
How could he expect her to forgive just like that? Because of his God beliefs?
His hands caught and pulled her down in front of him. “What can I do?”
Her temper dropped a notch even though she struggled to free herself. “Nothing.” Was it too late? Or was she holding on to the past too hard? “Now, let go.”
He exercised his jaw. “I won’t let it go this time.”
Maddie stopped struggling. Why did he insist on pulling her so close? She didn’t want him touching her right now.
He implored her with his eyes.
Too many years of hating that he didn’t believe her began to dissolve a fraction. She pushed away from Joze and moved fast to keep him from seizing her again.
He pushed off the floor, looking so pitiful, she almost wanted to say she would forgive him so he’d stop. What should she do? She needed him right now, as hard as it was to admit. But after the perp was caught, she’d leave Joze in the dust.
Plunking into the office chair, Maddie regarded him. No, she couldn’t. It wasn’t right to use him like that.
As much as she didn’t want to admit it, something in her kept crying “forgive.”
This time he kept his distance as he wiped his hands on his jeans. “I can’t leave you in this mess. At least let me help you get your stalker arrested. Then we can worry about abandoning each other.”
Maddie groaned. Was he trying to make light of the present situation? She tilted her head and studied him. “OK. But keep your distance.”
“For now.”
A huff died in her throat when she saw how serious he was.
30
How much more emotional upheaval could Maddie take? Aunt Lonna’s office closed in on her as Joze used his feet to roll a couple inches closer. “You want me to retell the same Todd story? Again?”
“I know it’s painful, but can you? Every detail. We have to go to the police about this, and I want to be armed.”
“Well, I’m not dealing with this until we’ve closed out the drama at hand.”
“OK, I understand.”
Maddie wiped her eyes. She recounted the beginning of the story as she had the other night, but this time Joze was asking for more. Details she’d avoided.
Sucking in a breath, Maddie stopped. How to word it? “We were by the lake. Todd wanted to go for a walk and we took the one trail that leads to the top of the mountain. It was so quiet. I don’t even remember hearing birds as we walked. We hadn’t seen anyone on the trail in a good hour when he suddenly veered off the path. You know, I still don’t know why I didn’t get that sense of foreboding people talk about, but I didn’t.” She dropped her gaze to her hands. “I guess I trusted him too much.”
Bending forward, Joze put his forearms on his thighs. “Go on.”
Once again, he was a bit too close for comfort. Personal space must not mean anything to him. She gathered her strength. “He, he pulled me to some bushes. At first, I didn’t get what was going on. But then, in a second, his eyes blackened.” She sniffed. “And then I knew it was really bad…and no one was around to hear or to stop him. I knew I had to do whatever I could to get out of there, so I managed somehow to kick him…you know…before he could really do much. And I put everything I had into it. When he fell over…I moved as fast as I could and grabbed this thick branch on the ground and hit him in the chest as hard as I could. Then I took off.
“Good thing we drove my car. I got to the parking lot and left him on the mountain. And I didn’t care if he ever made it back down.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t say it enough.” He bit his lip. “He didn’t have a scratch on him, you know? I thought if you’d hit him he’d have a bruise or something…”
She lifted her hand, palm out. How good it was to see belief in his face. “Maybe the stick only grazed him, I really don’t know, but he didn’t chase me.”
The whites of Joze’s eyes showed. Maddie reached for him. “You’re not going to do something crazy, are you?”
His lips narrowed. “I can’t promise you anything.”
Now that he’d swung to her side, would he be as vicious against Todd? Did she want that? Maddie tucked her hair behind her ears. What if there were more victims? “What’re you thinking?”
He seemed to consider saying one thing but instead said, “That’s why you left school and didn’t go back for a few years?”
This was hard stuff to talk about. “Yes.”
Joze rubbed her arm. “I’m glad you did. And Todd never contacted you?”
“No.”
They sat quietly a few more moments. Maddie pressed her lips together and studied him. Was he thinking the same thoughts?
She blew out a breath and pushed away the circle of thoughts.
Dread began to build again. Dread that another attacker was only feet away, waiting to pounce on her. And this time she might not make it out so unscathed.
As if he felt it too, Joze scanned the room. “I’m not losing you to another criminal. Let’s get this room finished. We have to figure things out.”
It occurred to her that he should’ve been at work. “What about your job? I didn’t even think about it until now.”
“Don’t worry. I called my boss. He says I have to make it up to him, but he gave me a few days off.”
“How much do you work?” She spun the chair around.
“Usually, two twenty-four-hour shifts. Sometimes three. Depends.”
She slipped and put her hand out to right herself. Some papers had fallen between the wall and the desk. Maddie reached down and tried to get ahold of them, but they were too far back. Joze helped her pull the desk away, and she yanked the papers free. They studied them one by one.
Maddie dropped her shoulders and groaned. Nothing.
An hour later all the papers were off the floor and in some semblance of order by subject matter. The potential of finding nothing was great at this point. Maddie knocked her fist against the table. Why couldn’t Providence help her for once? She paused. If she didn’t believe in God, how could she expect Him to do anything for her? Maybe Joze could do some praying and get help. She opened her mouth to ask, when something scraped against the floor. Turning, Maddie walked toward Joze who’d picked up a filing cabinet drawer and pushed it into place. “Is it empty?”
He slid the drawers open. A few file folders managed to stay in with some papers. They pulled them out and read through them. Only more invoice slips.
Maddie ran her hands along the bottoms of each drawer then shoved the last one closed. She needed a potty break. “I’ll be right back.”
In the corner of the room was a bathroom, the one amenity Aunt Lonna had insisted on having installed. Maddie closed the door.
Joze’s muffled voice sounded through the thin door. “Please, God, we need some divine intervention. Help us find what we need to solve this thing.”
Ha. Like God would just hand them evidence.
No toilet paper. She shuffled around and opened the bottom cabinet under the sink. The last roll sat to the side. As she took it out and went to put it on the holder it wouldn’t fit. With growing impatience, she shoved it on the springy cylinder and something from the toilet paper roll popped into her hand. In an instant, she leaped back and almost dropped it in the toilet.
A flash drive. “Joze.” She drew out his name.
Whoa, had God done that? Now she didn’t know what to think.
His footsteps resonated. “What’s happened?” No fear in his voice.
She flung the door open. “I found a flash drive.”
He raked a hand through his dark hair and smiled. “Good hiding place. But—is it the one we’re looking for?”
31
Joze ha
d been praying. Hard. “Forgive me” and “Help us now” type stuff. And now they had something. He lifted his hands to the sky. “Thank you, Lord.”
Maddie strode to the stairs. “You think He’s responsible?” She eyed him. “Let’s go find out what’s on it.”
When was she ever going to come around and believe God was real?
He followed her to the house and waited while Maddie hurried to her room.
With her laptop on the coffee table, they scrunched together and pulled up the files from the thumb drive. It had only three files on it. Maddie clicked on the first. It was a series of pictures of a house. The last one showed a man walking up the walkway to the front door. Most of them were blurry as if the photographer had been in motion when the pictures were snapped. Even in the last one, the guy must’ve been walking away fast because they could only make out his brown jacket.
“It’s the back of his head. Doesn’t help us much.” He drew closer to the screen. “Hey, that looks like the same brown jacket I saw on the guy who…” He hadn’t told her about his attacks.
Maddie cocked her head. “Go on.”
He raised his hand. Then he lowered it again. Since they were putting things out in the open, he might as well tell her. “Now, don’t get mad, but I got attacked by some guy the other night.”
She started to talk.
“Wait. I didn’t keep it from you for any reason but that I didn’t want you to worry.”
Maddie fell against the cushions. “Again? I’m so sorry for bringing you into this mess.”
“I must be making his job harder.”
“You should’ve told me,” she hissed.
“No way. You had enough to deal with. You didn’t need to add me to your list. Besides I can handle myself.”
She crossed her arms and scowled. “So, he has his two worst enemies all in one place. That’ll make it easy for him.”
“Don’t be like that.” He wanted to grab Maddie and pull her close but restrained himself.
“Do you see the logo on the back of the jacket?”