Falling Over (Falling In Series Book 3)

by Andrea Hopkins

  Not my fault.

  If he had just kept his mouth shut and walked away like a good little boy…

  “You will not go near her again. If I even hear her name on your lips, it won’t just be your nose that’s broken. K-State is a phone call away, you feel me, bro?”

  “You wouldn’t.” The moron practically snarls, spitting the blood that has drizzled into his mouth.

  “You wanna take that chance? ’Cause I got all night and nothing to lose, homie.”

  His answer is only silence, save for a few pathetic, low moans of pain.

  “Yeah, I didn’t think so. Get the eff out of here!”

  “So, it’s true then.” I turn around to Cady’s voice. Damn, I love her voice. The sweet yet sultry and ever so slightly husky sound never fails to hit me square in the ticker…and the nether regions.

  Wait, what did she say?

  “What?” I ask her, feeling slightly dazed all of a sudden.

  “The rules? Garrett told me, but he’s drunk so I didn’t really believe him…”

  Fuck. Now my face pales.

  “Until now. The look on your face all but confirms it. So, it’s true? You told every guy in the junior and senior class not to go near me?”

  “Cady, it’s not—”

  “Ben motherfucking Catalano-Moretti! You’re un-fucking-believable! How could you do that?” Her voice raises an octave, drawing looks from nosy-ass dancers around us. This is not how I want to have this conversation. Mother-effer, I don’t want to have this conversation, period.

  “This is not the time or place to talk about this,” I say calmly, even though I feel far from effing calm.

  “Well, I think it’s the perfect time, and what better place—”

  All of a sudden, she stops talking and winces as if she’s in pain. I take another step toward her, coming face to face with a kind of beauty that is unearthly.

  “Bug? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She insists, but sounds anything but. And that’s when I hear it. The subtle slur to her words. Then I look closely and notice a slight sway to her stance. Holy…she’s been drinking.

  I cup her face and meet her eyes. Shit, they’re still a beautiful sky-blue, but now look glossy and tinted with an all too familiar redness.

  “Luce!”

  I bark for Cady’s best friend and most-likely culprit for this uncharacteristic drunkenness. Lucy Vonn has been Cady’s best friend since the sixth grade and to this day, I have no idea why. Cady is sweet, like cavity-inducing sweet but in a way that you don’t mind how many fillings you get just so long as she is near you. She loves any and all souls—starts petitions and makes everyone in our crazy-ass family sign and/or protest for whatever she’s fighting for that day. She’s been a vegan and a champion for animal rights since I’ve known her. She makes her clothing from sustainable materials. She doesn’t give two shits what people think of her. She is herself, one hundred-percent, and gives no excuses for it. She cares, loves deeply and genuinely, without reservation.

  I can’t say that the same goes for Luce. Lucy is a selfish bitch and a complacent sheep, hell-bent on corrupting and changing everything good that Cady is—which is all of her.

  Parties aren’t really Cady’s scene. In fact, I can count the amount of parties she has been to in the last four years on one hand, and I might not even need all five fingers. Of course, I might have a little something to do with that, but that’s beside the point.

  “Ben?” Cady moans, and damn, that sound…if I didn’t know it was from impending sickness, I don’t think I could stop myself from hauling her away and doing very naughty things that I should not even think about, let alone do.

  “Yeah, Bug?” She slowly blinks her eyes before lowering her head to my shoulder.

  “I’m still really mad at you. But I’m just gonna rest my head on your arm for a minute and then I’m going to yell at you, maybe punch you in the nads.” I can’t help the laugh that escapes my mouth. “And now you’re laughing at me.”

  “I’m not laughing at you, Cady.” She throws me an incredulous look and my mouth quirks up. “Okay, maybe a little bit.”

  “Fuck. You,” she murmurs, and I laugh again. That mouth of hers. She inherited her dad, Cole’s appreciation for the f-word, which never ceases to amuse, seeing as she is our resident bohemian hipster. She moves in just a fraction closer and sighs against my shoulder. My hand twitches to wrap around her waist and pull her against me, but I settle for clenching my fists at my sides and taking deep, measured breaths. Which only makes matters worse because now I’m inhaling her scent. Vanilla and pine. Like Christmas morning. I also catch the faint hint of weed.

  “Luce!”

  “What, dude?” I finally hear from behind me. I turn Cady and I around and face a bored-looking Lucy swiveling her small ass against some dude I don’t know.

  “What the hell did you give her?”

  “Oh, don’t give me that look! She only had like five shots when we got here, and we ate a few weed gummies at my house earlier. It’s no big deal. She’s fine.”

  “Are you stupid? God, you’ve gotta be the shittiest friend in all of Oregon. I don’t know why the eff she’s friends with you!”

  “Get over yourself. She’s fine.”

  “She’s not fine. She rarely drinks. You know that. Five shots to her is like ten to you. You’re such a bitch!”

  “And you’re an asshole.”

  “Guys, can we stop talking about me like I’m not here? I can hear you. And you’re both asshole-bitches, by the way,” Cady garbles into my t-shirt.

  “See, she’s fine.” Lucy says with that smug, self-satisfied smirk she wears almost all day, every day before returning her attention to the dude behind her who’s about five minutes away from getting his soul eaten by the demon dancing on him.

  “Luce is right, I’m fine.” Cady mutters, flinging her head off my arm so fast, she loses her balance. My arms reach out and grab ahold of her petite and curvaceous body. I tug her toward me and do what I’ve wanted to do for months. I allow myself three seconds—three amazing yet cruel seconds to feel her softness pressed against me chest. Three seconds to feel her heart pound in sync with mine. Three seconds to commit this moment to memory, because that’s all that it will ever be.

  Three seconds to remind myself how good she feels.

  Too good. Too good for an asshole like me.

  With a heavy sigh, I grip her shoulders and reluctantly pull her away from me. Just enough so that we aren’t touching anymore, but still close enough to feel her breath against my chest.

  “C’mon, let’s get you outside. Get some fresh air.” I don’t give her a chance to agree before I sweep her into my arms. She squeals in surprise, but then smiles goofily before twisting her mouth into a scowl, undoubtedly remembering she’s supposed to be mad at me. Regardless, she loops her arms around my neck and rests her head back onto my chest. The fingertips on my right hand tingle where they rest on her smooth thigh. I’ve never touched her thigh before, a fact my cock is quite happy to recognize.

  We make it through the house and outside into the warm mid-June air. Random people loiter around the front porch, and I tell them to get the eff inside. Cady giggles and I can feel the intoxicating sound reverberate through my t-shirt, producing goose bumps along the entire length of my body.

  I ease us down onto the porch swing, internally screaming at myself to let her go, move her to the opposite end, but I ignore every single protest. I don’t know when or if I will ever hold her like this again, so I’m going to savor each mother-effing second.

  I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, tapping in a quick text to Dylan, asking him to come pick up his sister. I feel like an asshole ruining his date, but I don’t trust myself to drive right now and I sure as shit won’t ask some other idiot at the party to take her home. After I get a reply telling me he’s on his way, I sit back and relax, molding my tense back into the cushions behind me. I pull Cady across
my lap and will my dick to stay down once I feel her ass press against me.

  Fuck. Me.

  “Why’d you do it?”

  “Do what?” I ask lamely, playing dumb and hoping for a reprieve, even though I know I won’t get one.

  “You know damn well what I’m talking about, Benjamin.”

  “I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” I knew those were the wrong words as I said them. She pops up out of the crook of my arm and onto her feet, cracking my jaw with her hard-ass head, which doesn’t seem to even faze her. Wish I could say the same for me. “Ow! Shit, Cady!” I rub my jaw as she rolls her renewed blazing eyes at me.

  “Tough shit, you’re fine. I don’t care what you want or don’t want. Why did you put out a hit on me?”

  “Jesus, you make it sound like I tried kill you—”

  “Didn’t you? Maybe not me, but my social life! Do you even realize what you did? I thought…”

  She doesn’t finish her sentence. I watch as her shoulders slump while her face turns away from me. I cup her chin and turn her back around to face me. Some of that fire in her eyes has waned and has been replaced with a vulnerability I hate to see. I stand up and reach out for her, but she takes a step back.

  “You thought what, Bug?” She adamantly shakes her head at me. “Cady, tell me.”

  She sighs in defeat, but finally answers me, and it breaks my effing heart.

  “I thought there was something wrong with me.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “I thought maybe I wasn’t pretty enough for guys to be interested in, or maybe my ass really was as big as Luce said, or I don’t know. I just thought I wasn’t enough. No one has asked me out. Ever. I haven’t even gone to a stupid dance. I’m a virgin, for fuck’s sake. Jesus, I haven’t even kissed a boy since…since you. You—you did that. You took away any chance of me being a normal girl. Why? Why would you do that? I know we haven’t been close in a long time, but I didn’t think you hated me—”

  “No! Cady, no, that’s not it at all. I could never hate you. You know that.” I’m scrambling, trying to keep up, but I can feel everything spiraling around me.

  “Am I some game to you, then?”

  I don’t answer her question, I can’t. I can’t do anything but stare at her like a mute, and he takes my silence as validation. “God, that’s it, huh? I’m so fucking stupid. Do you know why I came here? Dressing like this? Drinking? Dancing with Garrett?”

  All I can do is shake my head, because I know she’s about to change our lives with whatever the hell is about to come out of her mouth. And for better or worse, I want to know what she’s going to say.

  “For you. To get your attention. To find out if you…if maybe you were feeling what I feel. I wanted to know. I needed to know that this wasn’t all in my head. That this isn’t just me.”

  “Cady,” I manage to choke out, her name sounding like gravel in my throat.

  “But I should have known better. All I’ve ever been to you is some twisted game. You fuck any girl you want, thoroughly rubbing it in my face. And every time I tell myself, ‘okay, Cady, there you go, that’s who he wants, you’ll never be enough, you’re not even an option.’ And then you’re back, doing something sweet or saying just the right thing to pull me in again, and all my common sense evaporates. Every. Fucking. Time. Does this amuse you?”

  “No! Fuck, please stop.”

  “You don’t want to hear it because it’s the truth, right? Do you talk about me with them? With the guys? Or goddess, worse, with the girls? After fucking them, do you lie in bed and laugh at how pathetic I am? In love with a guy who barely even acknowledges her anymore, even though they live in the same damn house!”

  “Cady, you’re not—wait, what did you say?”

  Did she just …

  “Don’t play dumb with me, Ben. The least you can do is be honest.”

  “Cady, what are you talking about?”

  She looks at me for a moment. Searching for something. But whatever she finds, sends a single tear down her cheek.

  “Do you love me, Ben?”

  “Wh-what?” I stammer out, stumbling back as if she just sucker punched me.

  Mother…

  “Do you love me?”

  “Cady…you know—you know I care about you.”

  “That’s not what I asked, Ben.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “The truth! I just want the truth because I love you. Every single goddamn day since that first day with those stupid mud pies, I have loved you. Every. Day.”

  My heart pounds in my chest at her words. It’s so loud—almost deafening. Frantic. I don’t know what to say. No, that’s a lie, I know exactly what to effing say. I love you, too. I have always loved you. I always will. But instead, I just stand here like an effing statue and watch in complete silence as she makes her way toward me and before I can even think about stopping it, her lips are on mine and holy shit, I have never felt anything as close to what I imagine Heaven or meeting Damien Lillard would be like. I try to stay motionless, I swear, I really effing try but then she tugs my bottom lip with her teeth and all rational thought flies out the window. I thread my fingers through her silky curls and tug her against me, prying her mouth open with my tongue. She moans into my mouth and my knees just about buckle.

  This kiss isn’t like our first. No, not even close. While that one was sweet and innocent, this kiss—this kiss is sinful, gluttonous. All of the pent-up sexual tension that has continued to build over the years comes hurling toward the surface, shocking our bodies with a deeply-rooted need I have tried my best to ignore. But in this moment, I can’t effing fight it. I don’t want to.

  Our lips slide together, moving in reckless tandem as our tongues clash and discover. Soothe and savor.

  Revel.

  Possess.

  My grip tightens in her hair as she does the same to mine, clutching desperately for more. It’s like we’re battling to see who can pull the other closer.

  I’d call it a draw.

  Never breaking my mouth from hers, I walk us backwards until her back is flush against a large cedar post on the porch. I grip her hip with one hand, groaning at the feel of her soft flesh against my fingertips. Filthy images of me gripping this same hip as I drill into her from behind flood my mind and my dick grows so hard, it’s almost painful. Instinctively, I grind against her and holy mother, I’m aching to be inside her. Cady throws her head back and moans loudly into the night as I continue to rub against her center. I can feel her warmth through the thin dress she’s wearing, and I all about lose my shit all over my jeans like I’m fourteen again.

  “Say it. Tell me, Ben. Tell me you love me.” She pulls away slightly, whispering breathlessly against my tingling mouth. Her eyes are glazed over with a certain need I feel in places I promised myself would never concern her, and yet they’re so damn sad at the same time. Pleading. Her baby blues are begging me to give her what she wants…what I want.

  “Cady, I-I can’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

  She pushes me off her and swipes at her lips, attempting to erase any and all traces of our kiss, but her beautifully swollen lips won’t allow it. “You’re such a fucking coward.” Her voice is thick and raspy with emotion. She stares at me in disbelief and utter effing disappointment while another lone tear rolls down her flushed cheeks. I reach out to brush it away, but she shoves my hand from her face.

  “You know I care—”

  “About me,” she finishes my sentence. Her eyes squinting to murderous slits. “Yeah, I heard you the first fucking time.”

  I sigh and scrub my face. Not knowing what the hell to say that won’t hurt her or push her to off me in my sleep.

  “Cady—”

  “Yo, hey Cadybug, you feeling okay? Shit, you don’t look good, sis,” Dylan interrupts me from the bottom of the porch.

  Great timing, asshole.

  “Hey man.” Dylan nods to me with a small but
warm smile—more so than his signature look, which is tight and reserved. I nod back silently and he tilts his head, looking from me to Cady and then back to me. “Why does it feel like I’m interrupting something? It’s tense as fuck out here.”

  I’m about to answer when Cady jumps in first. Her eyes boring into mine, willing me to do…something. Speak. Refute. Fucking anything.

  My mouth goes dry. She closes her eyes briefly, releasing a small defeated and resigned sigh. She’s pissed. Drunk. Horny and hurt. Not a good combination. For anyone.

  “You’re not interrupting anything. Right, Ben? Absolutely fucking nothing.” She turns to her brother and plasters an all too bright smile on her face. “Can we go now? I feel gross. I just wanna go home and wash this night off me.”

  Fuck.

  “Yeah, sure, c’mon wild girl. Tyler’s in the car waiting for us anyway.” Cady doesn’t say another word to me. I don’t blame her. My eyes follow her as she walks away from me, though they always do. Dylan turns to me, and I’m not fast enough to hide the many effed up emotions flickering through me right now. Blue eyes almost identical to Cady’s stare at me knowingly. “I’m gonna let it slide for tonight, but tomorrow I expect every fucking detail of what I just walked into, yeah?”

  I roll my eyes but nod my head. There’s no point in arguing with him. He’ll get it out of me one way or another. Nothing gets past him. I keep telling him he should think about nixing the baseball plans and shoot for a career with the CIA. His response: ‘Dudes and tight pants. No contest.’

  “Hey, thanks for coming, and tell Ty I said sorry for ruining your date.”

  “Meh, Ty will get over it. You two are my family, man. You call, I’m here.”

  “Make sure she drinks a shit ton of water, okay?”

  “Fucking Luce, I’ve got some words for that bitch.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m on it.”

  But first, I need an effing drink.

  Two

  Song to listen to:

  “What Now?” by Rihanna

  “Take my Heart” by Birdy

  “Six Feet Under” by Billy Eilish

  “If This is Love” by Ruth B.