They were still laughing about it when he said, “If this is a daily thing, I’ll be back tomorrow.” She caught the hint of flirtation in his tone. She glanced at him out the corner of her eye and caught the hint of a smile. He was smiling and laughing, but his eyes told her he meant it. She found it unnerving that she enjoyed the looks he gave her. For some reason, it felt right having him here in her kitchen, in her home. It was like he belonged there.
Watching him chop the veggies made her think of the last time she and Ryan worked together in the kitchen preparing Sunday supper. David made her think of Ryan even more now that she saw how he was moving and cutting. Don’t fall for him Emma. Not until you know.
“So, Emma, tell me what you do for a living?” His question shook her out of her thoughts.
“I am a history teacher at the high school. This is my first year.”
“Were you teaching before you moved here?”
“I taught at an elementary school in Ohio right after college. When this position opened up, I did all I could to get back home.”
“So you grew up here?”
“Yup, just on the other side of town. It was hard leaving my parents and family behind, but I knew I would be back someday. I am glad it was sooner rather than later. Of course, all my family has left town, but my friends are still here and they are like family to me.” She worried for a moment that maybe she was giving a lot of information but she felt comfortable talking to him. “So how about you? You said you are from here as well?”
“Yeah. I have been gone for quite a while as well. I know what you mean about coming home.”
“What did you do while you were away? Why did you leave?” She hoped that he would not see through her questioning. She had to know what happened.
“Well, I traveled from town to town. Doing odd jobs, kind of like I do here.”
“So are you just passing through? Or are you here to stay?”
“I’m not sure yet. It all depends. But I hope I am here to stay. It is nice being home again.”
“Does your family live around here?”
“No, but I have seen my sister around town.”
“You mean you have been here for a year and you have only seen your sister? Why?”
All flirting and funny business had left his tone. The knife in his hand stilled and she watched as his chest rose and fell. “Have you looked at me lately? I am a real life monster. I have nieces and nephews who would be horrified.”
“Why would you think that? My kids don’t shy away from you. I am not sure they even see your scars. Well, I know Sarah does, but she doesn’t miss details and is very compassionate and perceptive. She sees the heart of a person.”
“She must get that from her mother.” She had stopped brushing the sauce on the chicken and looked at him. He was watching her. She couldn’t tell what he was looking for, but he was searching her this time.
“Why did you leave David?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Understanding. Clarity.”
“Because of your husband?”
“Yeah, in a way. You said you had a family at one time. Why did you leave?”
Just as he was about to answer her, the kids came thundering in and all conversation stopped. She moved to put plates on the table when he caught her by the arm. Her eyes were wide with surprise and wonder. She could hear a faint rattle of the plates in her hands. She was shaking. Did she make him as nervous as he made her?
“Can we talk about it later? It isn’t exactly dinner conversation.”
She was breathing a little faster than before.
“We can talk later. That would be good.”
***
He had hoped they could talk after dinner, but the kids were really rambunctious today, so he decided it was best to go shortly after dinner.
Emma walked him out to his truck, “You don’t have to leave. Kids are just being kids.” Her somewhat pleading tone made him wonder if she wanted him to stay.
“No, I think maybe it is best. They seem like they are wound up pretty tight. I can come by another time, if you would like.” He hoped she would be alright with that.
He could hear the gears of indecision turning in her pretty little head. “That would be fine. Maybe next weekend. I am super busy during the week with school.”
“Sounds great. I’ll see ya later.”
He stood there a moment more, not really wanting to leave, but knew he had to. She didn’t move back to the house right away either. He wondered what she was thinking. For a change, her face wasn’t giving away too much information.
“Yeah, I’ll see ya later.” He made the move first to get in the truck. Then she finally moved toward the house.
He pulled out of her driveway and made his way home. As he was leaving, he was distracted by the events of the afternoon and Emma’s behavior. It was like they were kids again and no one wanted to leave the other’s presence. Looking back at what they once had would do him no good though. It was only the future from here. God brought them back to town. He had to do his part now. This was his chance.
Chapter 18
The next three Sunday afternoons, David joined them for dinner. Everyone got along so well that there was just a natural flow. The kids seemed glad to have him around. The scars that to some might be repulsive, seemed to not bother the kids. When they talked at the table, they all looked right at him like nothing was different from the next guy.
For Emma, though, it was nice having an adult male around. Someone to talk with, to ask about guy things so that she had a better idea what was coming with the boys. After dinner, the kids would do dishes while they would walk to the pond and talk about family, work, God – whatever was on their minds. Even though all the leaves were gone and the temperatures were dropping drastically, it didn’t seem to stop their walks. They just added layers. It wasn’t like talking with Ann or Tiffany, all the giggling and tee-heeing, but deep, meaningful conversations. There had been some teasing and joking. Emma had discovered that David actually had a great sense of humor.
By week three, she had begun to look forward to having him over. Having a man around the house, even if it is only on Sunday, brought her a feeling of contentment. Last night, she had even let herself begin to think that maybe this was leading into something else. The wonder of his true identity had taken a back seat to everything else going on in their budding friendship.
So today, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, they had continued with their weekly routine and set out the back door. The snow had not fallen yet, but you could feel it in the air. They were bundled from head to toe. Long Johns, sweaters, thick jeans, heavy winter coats, gloves, and sock hats. Emma even had a scarf on, and David had a Thermos full of hot cocoa in one hand and his cane in the other.
“You know, David,” she started with a smile on her face “we are going to have to stop with these walks before too long. The weatherman is calling for the snow to start this week. I am not sure I will be able to keep from freezing to death. I worry that you’ll slip on the ice.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I could always lean on you instead of using the cane, and we can still add more layers.” He looked at her with a flirty grin and she felt like someone just turned up the heat.
“I am not sure I can support you. It’s not like you’re a small guy.”
“Hmm, well let’s see.” He handed her his cane and the Thermos and wrapped his arm around her and leaned on her a bit. She was not ready for it in any way and they both fell to the ground. They broke out in hearty laughs that echoed over the frozen woodland.
“I told you it wouldn’t work. You’re a big ol’ beast of a man. My five-foot-three, one hundred forty-five-pound stature can’t take your six-foot three, two hundred twenty-pound frame. Now get off!” Neither of them could control their laughter. They fumbled and laughed so hard that David lost his balance and fell. In trying to stay on his feet, he grabbed hold of Emma, but instead of her steadying him
, he took her down with him. Both of them sat on the ground until they could settle down enough to get up and walk. Even though the cold of the ground was creeping up through her bones, she couldn’t bring herself to get up. She began to feel that odd little flutter again when they locked eyes and instantly stopped laughing. She felt frozen in place and it had little to do with the weather. She was caught off guard that this man could make her feel something that no other man could, except one. And if she was honest with herself, she didn’t care that it wasn’t Ryan.
She felt her head start to spin a bit and she began to breathe a little more rapidly. What do I do now?
***
They were having a great time. He felt like he had gotten her to loosen up a bit and they were just enjoying one another’s company. That was until they locked eyes and her face changed. She wasn’t smiling anymore. She actually had a look of panic. He couldn’t figure out what had changed. Unless...Is it possible? Could she learn to love me as David? He wasn’t sure what to do, but he took hold of the opportunity, and her hand.
“Emma? You okay? Did you hurt something? Did I do something?”
As she was starting to breathe rapidly, he could see the puffs of white coming from her mouth in quick succession. Oh that mouth. It sure wouldn’t take much... but he hesitated too long though and just as he began to lean in, she rose to her feet tugging him up with her.
“Are you okay Emma?” He asked as he stood.
“Yeah, I think so.” She looked a little bewildered now.
He stepped forward a bit and touched her face with his gloved hand. Looking deep into the icy blue pools of her eyes, he could see the wheels turning. “Oh what I would give to know what you are thinking right now.” He let a slow grin creep across his face, “Care to enlighten me?”
***
NO! No, I am not ready to enlighten you.
The fear she churning within her playing out scenarios in her head about Ryan seeing her in the arms of another man. Then it hit her that if Ryan was going to come back, he would have by now.
She needed space and time to think, so she took a step back and made up an excuse to end the walk.
“I-I think I hurt my ankle a bit, let’s head back.” She turned to walk back to the house and he grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him.
“Only if there isn’t anything else you want to share with me.” His look was serious. So she challenged him a bit and gave him her “stern mom” stare.
“I am sure. I am freezing now and I need to ice my ankle.” Nice cover girl. Now make it believable. She began to limp ever so slightly as they made their way back to the house.
Along the way, she had a thought cross her mind to distract her from what was happening between them.
“Where are you going for Thanksgiving?”
“Nowhere, I suppose. Just me, the game and a Hungry Man TV dinner.” He sounded frustrated.
She came to an abrupt halt and turned on him, “Oh I don’t think so Buddy. You’re coming here.”
He straightened his shoulders and looked her square in the face, “And what if I don’t want to? You gonna make me, shorty?”
“Well,” she popped a hip out and waved her hand like she didn’t care, “if you are happy with fake food, stay home. But here, you will get the full dinner, fresh from the oven. Your choice,” she softened up a bit, “but it would be really nice if you would come.”
She could tell she had just disarmed him as his shoulders began to relax a bit. A smile crept across his face and he reached for her hand and ran his thumb ever so lightly over the back of her hand. She felt her heart begin to race. She could feel it right through her glove.
“Emma, I would love to join you for dinner.” The smile that was on his lips left with a thought. “Is your dad going to be there? I don’’t think he likes me much.”
She laughed at that. “No, my parents are visiting an aunt in Florida. You will be safe. What was up with that, anyway?”
He never answered her and instead walked her to the back door of the house, kissed her gloved hand, and said, “Good night Emma.” Then he walked away without waiting for her response.
Okay, I guess he’ll let me know when he is ready.
Chapter 19
Thanksgiving morning, Emma felt like she was running a marathon. She was ready to scream at the next person who talked to her. The boys were fighting over the TV. Sarah was up in her room crying because Aaron said something mean to her. The dog was out back barking into the woods. She figured there was an animal out there taunting him. She thought about calling David and telling him to bring all his Hungry Man TV dinners because she was in no way ready to make a big meal.
She could still hear the boys in the living room fighting when she lost it. Enough was enough. She took a deep breath, cleaned her hands which were covered in egg, bread crumbs and seasonings, and walked to the living room.
“If you two are not going to stop fighting, then go to your rooms. I am done listening to the fighting. Go or you are grounded for life!”
They did as they were told but fought all the way up the stairs to their bedrooms. She knew they had reached their doors because they each slammed them. The vibration knocked a picture off the wall in the hall and broke the glass.
“Great, one more thing to do.” She picked it up while trying to think of a way to make the boys replace it. When she turned it over and looked at the picture, her heart sank. It was one of her and Ryan on the day of their wedding. She felt the air in her lungs leave her chest and knelt on the floor, no longer caring about the dinner or the kids. All she could see was his face.
He was such a handsome man. His dark sable colored hair was glistening in the picture. His hazel eyes danced as he looked down at her. It was a picture of the two of them gazing lovingly into one another’s eyes. Their facial expressions showed what they were feeling inside. She had truly been blessed. A man who looked good and was not full of himself was a hard one to find.
As she sat in the middle of the hall, she began to cry. Not an earth shattering cry that rocks your whole body, but slow and silent. It felt like letting go. Like that last bit of grief that had taken her eight years to get passed.
She began to wonder, what if he comes back and sees David in his place? Would I even care?
David had made no mention of wanting more than a friendship from her, but she could feel it radiating off him when they were together. His soft, searching, sad eyes no longer made her thing of Ryan but of the man who held them. There was a level of guilt that came with each tender moment between her and David that she felt like she was betraying Ryan in some way.
She touched his face in the picture, “Why can’t I get away from you? You haunt me and I don’t even know where you are. I really need to let you go.”
At that moment she heard foot steps behind her. She turned to find David standing there, watching her, with those sad eyes.
“Are you alright, Emma? Do you need help?” he softly asked. He gave no indication that he had heard her words.
“Depends. Do you have a sleeping pill in your coat to help me sleep today away?” She could hear the sarcastic tone through the little laugh she gave him.
“Well, no, but I can sweep that up for you.” She could see his concern for her and it endeared him to her even more.
She got up off the floor walked to him, hesitantly placed her hand on his arm, gave him her brave face, and said, “I am alright, David. It has been a tough morning. Truly, I will be okay.”
“Well, if you are alright, then let me help you clean up this glass so you can do what you need to for dinner. I wasn’t hungry until I stepped foot in your kitchen and smelled that turkey. It smells good.” His smile stretched from ear to ear. It made her smile to see that smile. In fact, it warmed her heart. She reached for his hand and gave it a light squeeze.
“The broom is in the hall closet. Just be careful.”
He squeezed her hand back in understanding and then let go as he went
to the closet.
Things were about to change for them, she could feel it.
***
He had walked into Emma’s house after knocking and waiting a couple of minutes. He called out to her, but there was no answer. It seemed like that happened a lot. The further he walked into the house, the louder her faint sniffles became. He followed the sound to the hall and stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her talk.
He hated that she felt like she couldn’t move forward in her life. He hated the fact that she had been waiting all these years for him to come back.
God, make this end today. Give me a chance to tell her. Let this be the last day of her misery. I know I have been a fool, but this fool has seen the light. Show me what to do.
He swept up the broken glass of their wedding photo and he saw the relevance it had on their lives.
The glass was their lives. At first it was whole and beautiful, like the picture and frame. But life and poor choices broke that beautiful thing they had. Now he was going to have to ‘man up’ and sweep up the broken pieces and make it right again. And he knew he would be able to do it only with God’s help.
***
They were all seated around the dinner table. A mound of beautifully cooked turkey sat before David. He had offered to carve it for her. Mashed potatoes with butter melting down the side, candied yams covered with marshmallows, green beans and carrots, cranberry relish sat with pickles and olives filled the table. She had the pies she made the night before warming in the oven. Looking at the table, you would think that she was feeding a small army. But she had a plan for it all, leftover meals for a week. Well maybe not quite a week since the boys are going through a growth spurt.
She had felt the frown and tension melt when she turned to see David standing there. He brought her comfort that she had not felt in a long time.
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