by Kate Lister
One act without emission makes the ch’i strong. Two acts without emission makes the hearing acute and the vision clear. Three acts without emission makes all ailments disappear. Four acts without emission and the ‘five spirits’ are all at peace. Five acts without emission makes the pulse full and relaxed. Six acts without emission strengthens the waist and back. Seven acts without emission gives power to the buttocks and thigh. Eight acts without emission causes the whole body to be radiant. Nine acts without emission and one will enjoy unlimited longevity. Ten acts without emission and one attains the realm of the immortals.9
Taoism taught that ingesting vaginal secretions would strengthen the Yang (male) essence. Therefore, pussy was not only celebrated, it was a superfood. Suck on that, kale crisps. Semen retention is still widely practised in Taoism and Neotantra groups today, who believe energy and health can be increased by corking the cum. But before you all start saving up your ‘axel grease’ (1983) for some cosmic spunk dump, research from Harvard University has linked not ejaculating with a marked increase in prostate cancer. ‘Men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 33 per cent lower risk of prostate cancer compared with men who reported four to seven ejaculations a month throughout their lifetimes.’10 An Australian study had similar findings, and found that men who ejaculated four to seven times a week were 36 per cent less likely to develop prostate cancer than men who ejaculated less than two or three times a week.11 But I digress.12
Acu-moxa point chart, showing the jinggong (Palace of Essence/Semen) point, from Chuanwu lingji lu (Record of Sovereign Teachings), by Zhang Youheng. This work survives only in a manuscript draft, completed in 1869 (eighth year of the Tongzhi reign period of the Qing dynasty).
Xiuzhen miyao, a gymnastic (daoyin/qigong) text of unknown origin, was rediscovered and published with a preface by Wang Zai in 1513. It records forty-nine exercises. This illustration depicts Jiang niu zhuo yue (dismounting from the ox to catch the moon), a technique used to treat involuntary seminal emission.
The Ancient Greeks and Romans also believed that constantly ‘cracking your marbles’ (1967) was damaging to your health and depleted essential energy reserves. Hippocrates taught that a healthy body required a balancing of the humour fluids (blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm). Logically, losing too much ‘baby juice’ (1901) could disturb this delicate balance and affect health. Aristotle believed that too much sex activity could stunt your growth. Plutarch advised men to ‘store up his seed’. Plato wrote, ‘if any man retains his semen, he is strong, and the proof is athletes who are abstinent’. To make sure there were no nocturnal emissions, Galen recommended athletes sleep on lead plates.
This belief persisted throughout the Middle Ages. St Albert the Great (1200–1280) firmly believed that ‘coitus drains the brain’, and that dogs followed lustful people around as ‘the body of a person who has had a great deal of intercourse approaches the condition of a cadaver because of all the rotten semen’.13 Of course, if you could lose too much ‘dilberry’ (1811), conversely you could have too much of the stuff, which would also unbalance the humours. In 1123, the First Lateran Council imposed compulsory celibacy on all priests. As you can imagine, this decree was met with considerable opposition from the clergy, and medical reasons were often cited. Gerald of Wales was archdeacon of Brecon in the twelfth century and wrote of a number of cases where celibacy had caused the death of various priests and bishops. Gerald recorded the death of an archdeacon of Louvain, whose ‘genital organs swelled up with immeasurable flatulence’ because of his vows of celibacy.14 The archdeacon refused to break his vows, and died shortly afterwards. This is by no means the only example of such medical advice in medieval Europe. It may seem strange that the Church would encourage sex, but the medieval Church understood lust to be sinful, whereas sex was essential to fulfil God’s command to ‘go forth and multiply’; so functional, fun-free intercourse was the order of the day. The medieval Church operated like a semen satnav, directing a chap’s ‘duck butter’ (1938) to its lawful uterine destination with minimal wrong turns and in the most efficient way possible. Semen that had missed its mark was dangerous stuff indeed. Some medieval theologians taught that demons stole semen from masturbators and couples practising coitus interruptus, and used it to impregnate women. St Thomas Aquinas in his Summa Theologica wrote that demons took the form of beautiful women called succubi, inflamed lust in men, seduced them and harvested his seed.15 Then the demon would take the form of a man (incubus) and impregnate a willing woman.
Indian gouache painting of a giant penis copulating with a female devil, c.1900.
This nice little theory is repeated and expanded upon in Heinrich Kramer and James Sprenger’s guide for hunting witches, The Malleus Maleficarum (1487). Although the text acknowledges that men can be witches too, it argues ‘a greater number of witches is found in the fragile feminine sex than among men’.16 It goes on to argue that unlike men, women ‘know no moderation in goodness or vice’, and that ‘all witchcraft comes from carnal lust, which is in women insatiable’.17 The fear of women dominating men, castrating them or stealing their ‘oyster soup’ (1890) and draining their strength runs throughout the Malleus. ‘And blessed be the Highest Who has so far preserved the male sex from so great a crime: for since He was willing to be born and to suffer for us, therefore He has granted to men the privilege.’18 The fear that an orgasm drained men of their strength is palpable.
But it is easy to understand why orgasm would be linked to a loss of strength and potency. The French call an orgasm la petite mort (the little death), and with good reason. Ask yourself how you feel after orgasm when the mist has lifted. I’m generalising but, for those of us with vulvas, the orgasm is like an end-of-level boss; a violent showdown, after which we level up and want more – only harder. Though many women experience painful sensitivity in the genitals post-orgasm, we can keep going and, as Cosmo keeps assuring us, can achieve multiple orgasms. But once the penis has ‘shot his snot’ (1709) it’s all over, and before you can say ‘I’m ready, darling’ he is snoring in the wet patch. This special time is known in medical terms as the ‘male refractory period’. It is defined as ‘the transient period of time after ejaculation associated with detumescence, reduced interest in sexual activity, inability to ejaculate or experience orgasm, and increased aversion to genital sensory stimulation’.19 The finger of blame for this period is often pointed at central serotonin and prolactin fluctuations in the brain. But as pre- and post-orgasmic elevations in prolactin and serotonin are observed in both men and women, this is not regarded as an explanation as to why men and not women experience a refractory period.20 Whatever the reason, the MRP is very real, and the post-orgasm crash from super horny sex god to sleeping bear seemed irrefutable proof that an orgasm sapped men of their potency.
This all seemed perfectly obvious to Dr Samuel-Auguste Tissot when he published Onanism: A Treatise on the Maladies Produced by Masturbation in 1758. Tissot argued that semen was a vital body fluid, and that masturbation was the most damaging way to lose precious liqueur séminale. The picture Tissot painted of a man who ejaculated too frequently is not a pretty one. He argued excessive masturbation, nocturnal emission and coitus interruptus caused the body to simply waste away:
I have seen a patient, whose disorder began by lassitude, and a weakness in all parts of the body, particularly towards the loins; it was attended with an involuntary motion of the tendons, periodical spasms and bodily decay, Insomuch as to destroy the whole corporeal frame; he felt a pain even in the membranes of the brain, a pain which patients call a dry burning heat, and which incessantly burns internally the most noble parts.21
Tissot’s work set in motion a crusade against masturbation that would last for the next two hundred years. The solitary vice, self-pollution, onanism, or ‘jerkin the gherkin’ (1938) would come under increasing medical scrutiny and men’s soft-and-danglies were subject to various quack cures, ranging from the mildly amusing to the outright
dangerous.
Nineteenth-century four-pointed urethral ring for the treatment of masturbation. The ring would be fitted around the penis before bedtime and if the wearer had an erection during the night, the teeth would bite into the penis and wake the poor chap up.
By the nineteenth century, medical theories that a loss of semen was seriously injurious to health had been firmly established. Physicians all over the Western world were warning that masturbation was not only dangerous, but could be fatal. Dr Léopold Deslandes (1797–1852), for example, wrote that ‘the patient is unconscious of his danger, and perseveres in his vicious habit – the physician treats him symptomatically, and death soon closes the scene’.22
Men were warned to conserve their ‘essence’ by avoiding fornication and masturbation, and by limiting sex within marriage. Numerous anti-masturbation devices were available to prevent ‘nocturnal emissions’, or to stop young boys interfering with themselves. Physicians are recorded as applying acids, needles and electric shocks to the penile shaft in an attempt to cure what was then known as ‘spermatorrhea’ (weakness caused by loss of semen). Sparse diets were recommended to subdue lust, and purity crusaders such as John Harvey Kellogg (1852–1943) manufactured plain cereals to suppress urges. Kellogg argued that masturbation could cause all manner of illnesses, from cancer of the womb to epilepsy, insanity and impotency. But Kellogg went much further than just peddling a cock block in a box. He was full of useful information for parents on how to ‘cure’ a child from masturbating.
A young lad has become withered and aged because of his constant masturbating, 1845.
Bandaging the parts has been practised with success. Tying the hands is also successful in some cases; but this will not always succeed, for they will often contrive to continue the habit in other ways, as by working the limbs, or lying upon the abdomen. Covering the organs with a cage has been practised with entire success.23
But the method Kellogg felt most successful in stopping the ‘knuckle shuffle’ (2001) was circumcision – without anaesthetic.
A remedy which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision, especially when there is any degree of phimosis. The operation should be performed without administering an anaesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases. The soreness which continues for several weeks interrupts the practice, and if it had not previously become too firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed.24
If women were habitual masturbators, Kellogg recommended burning out the clitoris with carbolic acid as an ‘excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement, and preventing the recurrence of the practice’.25 It is in no small part thanks to anti-masturbation crusaders, such as Kellogg, that circumcision is still so widespread in America today. Although circumcision rates are declining, almost 80 per cent of American babies are circumcised today. It’s important to remember that doctors like Kellogg truly believed they were helping people, and that orgasms were debilitating.
The 1911 Boy Scout Handbook by Robert Baden-Powell (1857–1941) devoted an entire chapter to instructing young boys in ‘storing up natural forces’ in order to conserve ‘power and manliness’.
In the body of every boy, who has reached his teens, the Creator of the universe has sown a very important fluid. This fluid is the most wonderful material in all the physical world. Some parts of it find their way into the blood, and through the blood give tone to the muscles, power to the brain, and strength to the nerves. This fluid is the sex fluid … Any habit which a boy has that causes this fluid to be discharged from the body tends to weaken his strength, to make him less able to resist disease, and often unfortunately fastens upon him habits which later in life he cannot break.26
Although the Boy Scouts were still being cautioned not to ‘box the Jesuit’ (1744) right up to the 1950s, the early sexologists were already dispelling masturbation myths. In 1908, Albert Moll identified four phases of orgasm, and defined orgasm as a ‘voluptuous acme’ that gave way to a ‘sudden cessation of the voluptuous sensation’ and detumescence.27 Wilhelm Reich described orgasms as a ‘bioelectric discharge’ and the work of Kinsey revealed that masturbation was an almost universal human experience.28 It was the work of Masters and Johnson in 1966 that finally revealed exactly what happens to the male body before, during and after orgasm, and identified the ‘refractory period’.29 And while you may hesitate to bring up the subject of rubbing your nubbin over tea with the vicar, I like to believe we’re now in a place where ejaculation and masturbation are no longer subjects shrouded in mystery and shame.
Victorian spermatorrhoea urethral ring.
‘The Electric Alarum’, for treatment of masturbation. This lovely device was designed to electrocute the wearer’s penis if he got an erection, 1887.
But better than that, new science is emerging all the time to show how important orgasm is within human relationships. In 2004, Bartels and Zeki demonstrated that the areas of the brain activated during orgasm are also activated when looking at pictures of the person’s lover.30 The work of Komisaruk and Whipple (2008), Kurtz (1975) and Yang et al. (2007) all show that the brain activity during orgasm in humans and animals is linked to memory consolidation, meaning orgasms bond partners together.31 The work of Genaro (2016) builds on this and demonstrates that orgasm is key to pair-bonding partners, even in developing an attraction to certain ‘types’.32 In 2007, Stuart Brody studied the vaginal orgasms of some 1,256 women and concluded regular orgasms led to ‘greater satisfaction’ with sex life, mental health and general well-being.33 In 2011, Cindolo et al. showed that not ejaculating regularly led to a notable decline in the micturition reflex (the ability to pass urine from the body). One study found that 32 per cent of 1,866 US women who reported masturbating in the previous three months did so to help them go to sleep. The same study also found that orgasm can increase levels of endorphins and corticosteroids that raise pain thresholds, easing discomforts associated with arthritis, menstrual cramps, migraine and other conditions.34 In 2001, research showed that orgasm relieved the pain of migraines or cluster headaches for up to a third of patients.35 And I have only just scratched the surface of research into why an orgasm is good for you.
So please, ‘walk your ferret’ (1785), ‘flub your dub’ (1966) and ‘pull your pud’ (1986); as long as no one else on the bus minds, orgasm to your heart’s content. It’s medically recommended. And every time you do, think of your orgasm as a tribute to all those before you who have paid an incredibly high cost for enjoying what Quentin Crisp called the ultimate ‘expression of self-regard’.36
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1 Elisabeth A. Lloyd, The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in the Science of Evolution (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2005), p. 44.
2 Anne A. Lawrence, ‘Sexuality Before and After Male-to-Female Sex Reassignment Surgery’, Archives of Sexual Behaviour, 34.2 (2005), 147–66
3 Lisa D. Wade, Emily C. Kremer and Jessica Brown, ‘The Incidental Orgasm: The Presence of Clitoral Knowledge and the Absence of Orgasm for Women’, Women & Health, 42.1 (2005), 117–38
4 John G. Avildsen, Rocky (Chartoff-Winkler Productions, 1976).
5 ‘The Myths of Sex Before Sport’, BBC News, 2004
6 Dr Brooke Magnanti, ‘Boxer Carl Froch Has Been Abstaining from Sex – But Is It Ever Worth It?’, Daily Telegraph, 2014
7 N. Maffulli, et al., ‘Sexual Activity before Sports Competition: A Systematic Review’, Frontiers in Physiology, 2016;7:246. doi:10.3389/fphys.2016.00246.
8 Alexandra Sifferlin, ‘Can Sex Really Dampen Athletic Performance?’, Time, 2014
9 ‘The Classic of Su Nu’, in Douglas Wile, Art of the Bedchamber: the Chinese Sexual Yoga Classics (Albany: University of New York Press, 1992), p. 93.
10 ’Does Frequent Ejaculation Help Ward Off Prostate Cancer?’, 2009
11 G. G. Giles and others, ‘Sexual Factors and Prostate Cancer’, BJU International, 92.3 (2003), 211–16
12 John G. Younger, Sex in the Ancient World from A To Z (London: Routledge, 2005), p. 2.