I push his chest, stepping back as I do it to put more distance between us. “Fuck you, I’m not stalking her.”
“Oh yeah? What do you call it?” he grins.
Exasperated I defend myself, “I can’t drink before a game, so when I found out her schedule I remembered it because it’s inconvenient.”
He laughs, “Inconvenient?!”
“Yeah! Inconvenient!”
“To your plans of getting her into your bed? Am I understanding you right?”
“Yes! That’s all. I think she’d be…fun.”
Shaking his head he starts for his car. “You have no fuckin’ clue. Talk to ya later!”
“Hey!” I run after him, matching his pace as we head toward one of the five Teslas he owns. “What am I missing?”
“I’m not going to tell you if you don’t already know.”
“That’s exactly why you should tell me!”
Throwing his keys up and catching them he chuckles, “Nope.”
He tosses ‘em one more time but I snatch them from the air and start running to the edge of the roof, dangling them. “You wanna search for these? All the way down in those dense-as-fuck bushes? Sound like fun?”
Ethan warns me, “Don’t you dare.”
I jingle them and smirk, “Test me. Take a step closer.”
“Oh you suck.” Raking his wet hair back he stares at the keys then at my face, wondering if he should rush me and see what happens.
“Test me. Come on.”
He paces, teeth grinding until he barks, “Alright! What you’re missing is that you want more than a fuck. You’re interested in her. Compelled even.”
Palming the keys I ball my fist. “You’re wrong. It’s not what you think.”
“Hey I’m not saying forever or anything. I have no idea who you’ll fall for long-term. But Eric, you definitely don’t just want to bang her and run. Something about her has your balls in a vice. She owns you already, yet somehow neither of you knows it.”
As he takes a step closer I dangle the keys again. “That’s bullshit!”
“You wouldn’t be asking about her boyfriend, checking with me to see if I think you have a shot. You’d take the shot, run, and not look back. What’s her name again?”
“Wren.”
Ethan’s forehead wrinkles up as he squints at the sky like he’s reading an encyclopedia up there. “Wren, small cinnamon-colored bird known as the House Wren because it likes to nest near where humans live, or in bird houses. Known for its beautiful song. Quite small though,” he smirks, locking onto my eyes. “Yet here she holds the power over a mighty Falcon. Fascinating.”
And just like that, I drop the keys. “Oh no, what happened?”
My brother loses his shit, half laughing, half pissed as hell. “I can’t believe you just did that!”
Wiping my hands on a grin, I head to my Jeep and mutter as I pass him, “Believe it.”
CHAPTER 18
WREN
Heading back to my car, alone, I see Ethan and Eric in the bushes, bent over and digging. I call out, “What are you looking for?”
The brothers straighten up and BAM, bonk their heads together.
My hand reflexively flies to my mouth, but they start laughing.
Rubbing his forehead Ethan explains, “My brother thought he’d be funny and throw my keys off the roof.”
Eric grins, rubbing his head and wincing, “I was going to leave him to search on his own but I had to drive back, park the car and come help. Damn conscience.” Remembering Peter his eyes flicker. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
“He had to work,” I remind him, self-consciously adjusting the neckline of my special dress. “I decided to take a walk on my own since it’s so beautiful out.”
The brothers exchange a look that makes me feel like a pitiful, abandoned puppy.
I point between them. “Don’t do that!”
“Do what?” they both ask.
“Look at each other like that! I can walk out here by myself and not have it mean anything. My boyfriend has to work. People work. It’s normal.” Feeling a disappointed lump in my throat I bite my lip and look away.
Eric tromps out of the bushes, his legs scratched up, though he doesn’t seem to notice or care. “Yeah but you guys were going to the Gardens, and now you’re just here by yourself?”
“I don’t need a play-by-play, Cocker.”
He wipes his hands, glancing to them.
Ethan offers, “I’ll find the keys on my own. Why don’t you take her to the Gardens, Eric?”
Surprised, we stare at each other, his hazel eyes lighting up like it’s a great idea.
I quickly refuse, stuttering like a fool, “I can’t. Lot to do today. I’m really busy. Don’t want to trouble you with something like that.”
Eric smiles, “You have nothing to do.”
“I do so!”
“You did, but you don’t now.”
My mouth clamps shut like Beeker from the Muppets.
“I’m a sweaty mess but if you don’t mind, how ‘bout we go check it out? You’ve never been.” He leans in a little. “And that is a crime.”
It hurts to say no when I so wish I could say yes. “It is a crime but I can’t. Thank you anyway.”
“Why can’t you?”
“I have a boyfriend, who is stuck at work, and it wouldn’t be cool if I went in there with you.”
“It’s just a garden.”
“No, it’s a very romantic place if you’re a man and a woman alone. I’ve never been inside but I’ve seen pictures. I wouldn’t want Peter coming here with a girl.” Eric stubbornly crosses his arms. “Just imagine if you had a girlfriend, would you want her going there with a guy as attractive as you are?”
Fire ignites those hazel eyes, turning them almost emerald as he firmly says, “No fuckin’ way.”
“See? But thank you for the invitation. And I would love to help you guys find Ethan’s keys. Six eyes are better than four.” I pass him, and Eric watches my journey. I can feel his stare but I keep going.
“So you think I’m attractive.”
I eye him over my shoulder. “Everyone thinks you’re attractive. Especially you.”
Ethan whoops and points at his brother. “She’s got your number!”
Chuckling while climbing back into the bushes, Eric informs him, “Yeah, she did the same thing to me in front of Ben. He loved it, too.”
Ethan asks, “How is he? Haven’t seen him in person since that stupid elopement.”
“Seems okay. I should have called you, invited you to come to the bar, too, so you could look into his soul like you claim you can.”
“Found a quarter!” I hold it up. They give appreciative nods.
Ethan winks, “Nice, that’s good luck.”
“So Ben just got married?”
Hunched over and digging, they mutter at the same time, “Yeah,” with as much enthusiasm as you’d have for tax time.
“You’re not happy for him?”
Over the scraping sounds of branches Ethan explains, “Ben has been looking for his soulmate for years. Hopefully it won’t take me that long to find these keys. His parents fell in love when they were eight.”
“Aww! Eight years old?”
“Yeah,” they both mutter.
“That’s amazing.”
Over his bent shoulder-muscles Eric locks eyes with me. “That’s a lot of pressure is what it is.”
Ethan agrees, “I think Ben forced something too fast and too soon. He wants what they have. Can’t blame him. But pretty much all of us agree it just doesn’t feel right. We know one thing, in our family when we love someone we want everyone there to celebrate it with us.”
“True,” Eric mumbles. “That’s what’s fishy about it. Oh ho! Found ‘em!” He rises up like a flash, holding the keys above his head in celebration. “Who’s the winner?”
“Me,” Ethan smirks, snatching them from his brother’s grip. “Oh no, what happened?”
Eric laughs and it’s a great, honest sound.
“The way you guys are together makes me wish I had siblings,” I confess as we climb out of the shrubbery, my dress fighting me.
Eric helps, “Wait, I got it,” tugging the fabric free and lifting me up. My heart flutters, no time to object. He sets me down as if it wasn’t a big deal. But it felt like one. “You’re an only child?”
“Mmhmm.”
Up the stairs we go.
Truth is I don’t have anywhere I have to be. No work tonight. No boyfriend to spend the day with like I thought we would. And since the keys have been found, it’s time to get in my car and drive away from what has made me forget everything for a little while.
I’m in my head, wishing I could change my mind and say yes to that invitation. It doesn’t occur to me until we’re almost to the top that none of us are talking. Glancing back I see Eric staring into nothing as well. I meet Ethan’s eyes because he’s watching me.
“I’m on this level,” I tell them.
Eric stops with me and glances to the ground, and then to his brother, head bowed a little like, give us a minute.
“Nice to meet you, Wren,” Ethan smiles, heading up the last flight.
“Bye.” I’m picking my nails, wondering why we’re standing here alone like this.
The cocky quarterback is nowhere to be found as Eric says in a quiet volume, timber deep and intimate, “I’ve got nowhere to be. It’s right over there. Wanna go? I’ll buy the ticket, just say the word.”
Meeting his eyes I’m afraid I’ll say yes aloud, so I bite my tongue and we just stare at each other. My hands fall to my sides as the world disappears around us.
“Wren…”
Forcing my feet to walk I stammer a hasty, “See you around I guess.”
Suddenly cold I cross my arms and hurry away.
Don’t look back, Wren.
Keep walking.
You’re almost to your car.
Don’t break.
But I glance back.
Just in time to see his sneakers disappearing up the stairs.
CHAPTER 19
WREN
F rom behind sunglasses and a strawberry-banana smoothie I ask my best friend, “Eleanor, seriously, how do you do it all on your own?”
It’s a bright, cloudless Thursday morning and we’ve come to Cascade Springs park for some fresh air. Her children weren’t feeling well, so she let them stay out of school. But Eleanor doesn’t believe in bed for healing. She believes in nature. Surrounded by gold and amber leaves that will soon fall, low hills as their backdrops, we’re relaxing by a trickling stream so the kids can poke at turtles and laugh themselves back to health.
We’ve warned them to be kind to the slow-moving creatures. Innocent eyes said they would be, and El confirmed they wouldn’t hurt a fly. Just annoy it a little.
Also in shades, my friend pauses sucking on her blackberry and chocolate protein-powder shake to answer me, simply saying with a shrug, “I’m tired all the time.” The straw slides back into her mouth as if that’s the end of conversation. Clipped and to the point. The end.
Laughing I balance myself better on the boulder and say, “Oh come on, you’re in a good mood every time I see you. How come? I mean, you didn’t plan on raising Antoine and Tia on your own and that’s pretty much what you’re doing. He has them every other weekend but…”
“And he covers some of the cost. Enough to keep me from drowning and able to buy one of these delicious num nums once in a while as a treat.” She holds up her plastic cup before nursing it some more, eyes floating to her children as they edge near extremely shallow water like it’s an oceanic depth that might swallow them. “I’m happier without him.”
“Clearly.”
Eleanor glances to me and lowers her cup onto the boulder she’s sitting on. “I wasn’t happy when I was with him. I mean, I was happy to be in a relationship because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do.”
I mutter, “That’s what they teach us,” sucking down the last of my drink.
“I got out of high school and my thoughts were get married, have kids. So I did that. Met him in college, had these two adorable little brats who drive me insane, and then I would wake up and think, okay, there’s someone here. But I don’t like him very much. He was okay. Pretty sexy. Not mean to me. I wasn’t excited to hear him talk. I think it’s so important to like talking with someone. Like you and me, I love talking with you. I can tell you things like this and you’re listening. And when you talk I like to listen. I look forward to our conversations. You’re my tribe, you know?”
“Aww, thanks. Should we go gay now?”
“I wish,” she grins. “Make it so much easier.”
A red dragonfly flits by us as I admit, “I don’t think being gay is easy.”
Thinking about it, Eleanor agrees, “No, it isn’t. I have some gay friends who get treated badly all the time. They fight back but it’s not easy.”
“Why don’t we all just let people be who they are?”
“You and I do.”
“True.”
“That’s a start.” Adjusting her sunglasses she continues, “Anyway, now that he’s gone, it’s just me, and that’s an improvement. Me and the kids living how we want to live. I work hard to pay bills—since they’re in school I can. And now that Carla hired a new girl to cover me every other weekend, I don’t miss out on any time with them. Work when they’re gone, home when they are. And if something comes up and I need to take on more shifts, I’ve got the other moms.”
“The ones you’ve teamed up with.”
“To split babysitting duties, yep.” Her gaze drifts to the kids and she smiles at their laughter, saying wistfully, “More hands, lighter load. The ex can do what he wants. I want to wait for someone I love talking with.” Glancing to me, she adds in a sly whisper, “And who I love fucking.” Losing the grin, Eleanor asks in a leading way, “What about you and Peter?”
“We go through waves.”
“I don’t like the crap he’s been pulling.”
I was asking how she’s always happy because I feel the opposite. A depression has formed around me over the last month. Too tired of it all I blankly say, “He was amazing last night.”
Lowering her voice, she leans in like I’ve got sexy details to share. “Tell me all the dirty stuff and I’ll tell you about Dion.”
I correct her, “No, he and his band were amazing. I went and saw them play. We all went out to eat after at this all-night diner in Flat Shoals, and it was fun. Reminded me of when I was with the girls.”
“Oh, you never told me how they were at the Unicorn, the show Ginny invited you to!”
Sucking my lips in I shake my head, and pick a yellow leaf off my boulder. “Couldn’t go, El.”
“Too busy or…couldn’t.” At my silence, she nods. “Must be hard.”
“It kills me.” Exhaling I force a smile. “That’s why it was good being there for Peter. No pressure for me, but still around music, what I love, you know?”
“Yeah,” she gently smiles like she doesn’t want to pour salt on my wound. She knows all about my stage fright and my broken dream. “You still play your guitar?”
Flinging the leaf I watch it spin on the breeze and float away. “To help me write the songs, yeah. I work out the melodies on it. Not as much lately. Haven’t had a lot of energy.”
“How was Peter after?”
“After what?”
She lowers her sunglasses, looking over their tops, wiggling her eyebrows. “At his place, your place, you know…after.”
“He had to open the shop today so we didn’t stay the night together.”
The light vanishes from her. “Wren.”
“What?”
“I don’t like the frown. Take off your sunglasses.”
“It’s bright out.”
“Off!”
Doing as I’m told I hold them, and my gaze, on the boulder. “What?�
��
“Girl, look at me.”
Why is it so difficult to do that? My eyelids weigh twenty pounds each. “I don’t feel good.”
She jumps from her boulder to mine and touches my hand. The kindness gives me the strength to face her. “Wren, where have you gone?”
“…I don’t know. I feel lost.”
“I’m going to give it to you straight because you’re in it and you can’t see. We’ve all done it. We hang our hopes on some dude right from the beginning because he seems like he might be it. And when things get shitty we don’t let go.”
“That’s not what’s happening.”
“Isn’t it?”
Staring at her I get really quiet on the inside as the sunlight seems to fade around us, oxygen leaving with it. “I thought Peter was a nice guy and that was a shift for me, you know, in the right direction. I usually fall for the bad boy type.”
“But is Peter a nice guy?”
Thinking about it, I’m reticent. “Yes?”
“Has he been nice to you?”
“He’s a nice guy in general.”
“Is he nice to you?”
“He’s not bad to me,” I lamely offer.
El waves her hand, “Oh honey, you fell prey to a manipulating wimp who got you around his pinky, a girl out of his league to boost his puny ego and his puny dick, and now he’s stringing you along so he can feel like he’s the shit.”
I stare at her, stomach flipping over. “That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?”
CHAPTER 20
ERIC
T ony, Mott, and I roll into a brunch hotspot just before eleven on this bright Autumn Thursday, wearing our ‘Sunday best,’ as the church-going folk call it. Heads turn to watch as we sit ourselves down without thinking to wait for a hostess to help us out. Only problem is now we don’t have menus, but that’s quickly remedied by a busboy who recognizes us, giddy with excitement as he rushes them over, hands shaking.
Coach picked this place as a congratulations brunch for just the four of us, celebrating Monday night’s game in Chicago.
“Guess we’re early,” Tony proudly says, slapping his napkin on his lap.
Eric Cocker (Cocker Brothers Book 12) Page 8