I began to wonder if Teal hadn't been sent away, maybe placed in a formal detention center or even a prison. I told myself she would be better off. We all would.
I mumbled this idea loud enough for Gia to hear, and finally she fixed her dark, steely eyes on me and said, “Don't ever believe Dr. Foreman when she threatens to send us back. No one gets sent back. Dr. Foreman does not fail, does not give up. If one way doesn't work for her, she tries another and another. You either change to her liking or .. .”
“Or what?” I quickly countered.
“Or you don't, but you don't leave unless it's on her terms.”
“The buddies left.”
“Did they?” Gia tossed back at me. “They're still here, aren't they?”
“Because they want to be.”
She smiled at me as though I were a child.
“Well? Why else would they stay? What's here for them? Even if they enjoy torturing us, it's not enough. Don't they have boyfriends or want them?”
Gia was thoughtful for a moment. I could see that was something she had thought about, too.
“She has ways we don't even know exist,” she said. “She has ways of changing your head. Don't try to understand the buddies, why they are like they are. I don't want to even think about it. I just think about.. .”
“About what, Gia?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly. “I don't think about anything anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Why not? It's like being in a prison cell with a window that looks out on the most beautiful place, a place you can't go to, but only see from behind bars. That's why. Do you understand me? Do you?” she shouted.
I just stared at her.
“You and your damn questions. Making us think,” she said, making it sound as if I were responsible for all her pain. Before I could protest, she walked away quickly.
Finally, one night after dinner, we returned and Teal was there, lying on her cot, which now, like the rest of ours, had a mattress, a pillow, and a blanket. She was in what I called our school uniform, too, only her hair, her hair had been cut down to where she was nearly bald, her beautiful hair was gone. She lay there with her eyes wide open, staring up at the ceiling and looking even more drained and in shock than Robin had when she had been released from the Ice Room.
“Teal!” I cried, and hurried to her side. “How are you? What did she do to you?”
The others watched and listened but remained behind me.
“Are you okay? What happened to you? Where have you been all this time? What happened to your hair?”
She didn't answer for so long, I thought she wasn't going to say anything, but then she turned her head slowly and looked at me with eyes so cold and empty, they put a chill in my heart.
“My hair,” she said, “escaped.”
“What?”
“That's how we do it.” She propped herself up on her elbows so she could look past me at the others. She looked like the idea was exciting to her. “We escape in pieces. Maybe my teeth will be next or my ears. Right, Gia? Mindy? That's how it's done, isn't it?”
Neither replied. They ignored her and went to their own bunks.
“What are you talking about? You're not making any sense. Did you get far? What did you do?”
She stared at them a moment longer, then turned to me, her eyes as angry and dark as Gia's. “I would have made it. I know I would have made it. I saw light in the distance, but I got stung by a scorpion.”
“A scorpion!” I stepped back as if it were still there and could sting me as well.
“That's what they said. It made me pretty sick and it hurt so much, I thought I would die. My leg swelled up. All I did was stop to rest awhile and I guess I stopped right beside one, but you don't have to go out there to find them. They're here, too, you know.” She looked around the barn as if that information made her happy. “You could get stung just as easily sleeping in this filthy barn.”
I looked at Gia and Mindy. They continued to undress and get themselves ready for bed.
“That's not true, is it?” I asked.
“Of course it's true,” Mindy replied.
“Gia?” I asked.
She paused and thought a moment before turning to me. “You know what a minefield is? How they put bombs in the ground to blow up enemy soldiers who might step on the wrong spot?”
“Yes, so?”
“Well, that's what it's like being here. You're always walking through a minefield. If it's not one thing, it's another, and Dr. Foreman doesn't do much to make it any safer for us either. In fact, she plants the mines.”
“You don't mean she puts things in here, do you?”
“What do you think?”
“That's crazy. That's ... we could be killed or something.”
“Hello. Welcome to your nightmare,” Gia said, smiling.
She seemed to take such pleasure in telling me all these horrible things.
“Yeah, well, if it can happen to me, it can happen to you,” I threw back at her.
She shrugged. “It's already happened to me.”
“What? What's that supposed to mean? What are you saying, Gia?”
She ignored me. Robin got into bed without speaking and Teal continued to stare up at the ceiling.
“Well, it hasn't happened to me!” I screamed.
The door opened. M'Lady Three was standing there.
“What's going on in here?”
My heart was pounding. I half expected either Mindy or Gia would point a finger at me to earn more of those precious positive merit points, but this time no one spoke.
“You had better get some rest, my little princesses,” M'Lady Three said. “You'll need it. Tomorrow, we're whitewashing the cow barn and it will take all day.”
She closed the door and the lights went out. All I could think of now was something creepy crawling over me. I felt as if I were back in my Atlanta apartment, waiting to feel a rat scurry over my feet.
“They can't do this to us,” I muttered. I was thinking aloud. “If we die, they'll be responsible. They'll get into trouble.”
“No, they won't. They'll just make up a good story,” I heard Mindy mumble. “I'm sure she's done it before. I'm sure she's made up a whopper about Posy.”
“Who? What did you say?”
“Shut up and go to sleep,” Gia commanded sharply. “Keep your mouth shut, Mindy.”
“What did she say? Who's Posy? Gia?”
"If you don't shut up, we'll all get into trouble and it's going to be hard enough tomorrow. You heard her.
Believe me, we know what it's like when they pile it on," Gia said.
“I won't let her cut my hair like that,” I vowed.
“Of course not,” Mindy said, laughter in her voice. “Teal didn't let her either. You heard her. Her hair ran off.”
“Maybe that's what happens when you get bitten by a scorpion. Your hair falls off,” Robin offered, and the two of them laughed.
“I'll give you a maybe,” Mindy said, propping herself up on her elbows. “Maybe Teal wasn't stung by accident.”
“What?”
“Maybe someone followed Teal and when she lay down to rest. . .”
“I'm warning you, Mindy,” Gia said.
“Okay, okay. Good night, ladies,” Mindy sang.
That couldn't be true, I thought, could it? Dr. Foreman had her stung by a scorpion to teach her a lesson?
I lay there with my eyes open, listening. Was it possible to hear something crawling over the straw-covered floor? After a few moments, I could hear Teal's breathing get low and regular. Robin whimpered and then went silent. Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I heard someone crying just as I had when I was with Dr. Foreman in the house.
This time I knew it.wasn't my imagination. I did hear someone crying.
It was me.
I cried myself to sleep just as I used to when I was a little girl and no one came to my bedside when I had nightmares or fears. I
t made me think I was going backward, getting younger and younger. One morning I would wake up in here and I would be an infant.
I had no idea how or when I fell asleep, but I did. The morning light was like an alarm bell. Everyone groaned and rose before M'Lady Two opened the door to announce we were to line up outside like troops. When we dressed and stepped into the unrelenting sunshine, we were made to recite our prayer as usual, then told to march over to the barn for our individual assignments for whitewashing the cow barn. Each of us would be responsible for a specific section. Cans of paint were open and ready with the rollers. Ladders had been set up as well.
“Try not to make a mess of things,” M'Lady Three said. “Breakfast in two hours. Get started.”
We began our halfhearted attack on the sides of the barn. Teal was the first to wail complaints. She splattered herself with some paint and moaned about its getting into what was left of her hair. The mess wasn't what made it terrible, however. I think they deliberately chose to have us begin on the east side of the barn. That way the rising sun would be sending its hot darts into us the whole time. In a matter of minutes, everyone looked drained and defeated; even Mindy and Gia were feeling it more than usual. Mindy trembled so badly on her ladder, it rattled.
At one point she turned and looked at Robin, Teal, and me angrily. The fury in her face made me uneasy. I couldn't stand being stared at so hatefully.
“What is your problem, Mindy?” I asked.
“I'll tell you my problem. They're only making us do this because of you three and the stupid things you do. Robin starts a fight with me and Teal tries to run off. You break plates, talk back. I know Dr. Foreman believes we should all share the punishment. I know how she thinks. It applies to everyone, anyone, no matter who she is and what she has or has not done. So thanks.”
“Stop it,” Gia told her. “You know you're not going to make it any better for any of us by bitching. No one here knows it better than you, Mindy.”
Mindy was quiet again, but she didn't like it. Her strokes were harder, her anger pouring down through her arm.
“I don't care how you think,” Teal told Mindy. “Or you, Gia. I'm not sorry I ran off. I almost made it.”
“Oh, really. You almost made it, Teal? Made it to what?” Gia asked.
'To a phone. My father would have come for me."
“Your father?” Mindy said, laughing. “I heard your story. Your father put you here, just like mine put me here.”
'Teal looked at me and Robin and then turned back to Mindy. “Your father did this to you also?”
“Just work and shut up,” Mindy said. “You've made enough trouble for us.”
“What did you do? What's the big secret, Mindy? You know everything we did, why we're here.” Teal turned to Gia. “What did she do that's so much worse than what you did or what I did?”
Gia paused and looked at Mindy as if she had never considered it from that viewpoint before.
“Yes, Mindy, what did you do?” she teased.
“Shut up, Gia. Just keep your mouth shut.”
“She did a lot of things with a lot of boys.”
“Shut up, I said.” Mindy's anger made her wobble again on her ladder.
“And a baby.”
“Shut up!” she screamed so hard and so loudly, her face turned crimson.
We heard a door slam and M'Lady Two came out of the house. Gia turned quickly and began working again. We all did the same. Mindy, still fuming, stared needles and pins at Gia and then shot them at us.
“What's going on here? More talk than work? Well? You should have had more done by now, Teal.”
“I'm still weak and tired from being sick. I shouldn't have to do this.”
“You'll be sicker yet if you don't do your fair share,” M'Lady Two warned. “I want to see you all double what you've done by the time I return, understand? Otherwise, plans for the day might be changed, radically changed, and you won't like it, believe me.”
She stood there watching us for a moment, then walked back to the house.
“Thanks, Gia,” Mindy muttered.
Gia said nothing. None of us did. Her words had left our imaginations to run loose and I could see it on the faces of Teal and Robin; they weren't just running loose, they were galloping through every possible horrifying scenario involving a baby.
Finally, we were told to put everything aside to go to breakfast. No one even attempted to speak to anyone else. Mindy was sullen and Gia avoided her bee-stinging eyes. Robin, Teal, and I said nothing to each other or either of them. The air about us felt as if it were laced with TNT. Someone rubbing her hands together too vigorously could set off an explosion.
We washed up and entered the house. At the table everyone mumbled the forced thank-yous to everyone else, then we ate like five mutes. Silverware clanked against bowls and dishes. I could hear everyone chewing, swallowing, drinking, each of us keeping her eyes forward, looking into her own dark and troubled thoughts.
“Good morning, girls,” Dr. Foreman cried from the dining room doorway. She practically sang it. “What a glorious day and I see you've all gotten off to a productive start. How wonderful. This afternoon, around noon, I want you all showered, cleaned up, and brought back here for some refreshment, after which we will hold one of my famous group sessions. Mindy and Gia are well acquainted with them, aren't you, girls?”
“Yes, Doctor,” Gia said quickly. Mindy nodded. Both of them looked so frightened, it frightened me.
“Good. Well eat up, girls, waste not, want not.” Then Dr. Foreman was gone as quickly as she had appeared.
Mindy and Gia looked after her and then looked at each other, the air between them still heavy and flammable. Gia began to eat again.
“Why is she making us part of their group session, Gia?”
“How would I know?”
“We're not going to get through this,” Mindy muttered. “We're never going home.”
“Shut up,” Gia told her.
“She's going to stop us.”
“Quiet, Mindy.”
“She doesn't want anyone to be free. Not since Posy. You know I'm right, Gia. You've said it yourself many times.”
“Stop it!” Gia snapped.
M'Lady One appeared in the doorway. Both girls quickly returned to eating.
My buddy glared at them for a long moment. “Something wrong?” she asked, her eyes small with suspicion. “Someone planning something nasty?”
No one responded.
“All right, let's get moving, girls. You have a lot to accomplish by noon. Robin and Teal, you clear the dishes and wash down the table. The rest of you, start back to the barn and your work.”
Gia gulped the rest of her juice and stuffed another piece of bread into her mouth as she stood up. I followed her and Mindy out to put on our shoes and start for the barn. When M'Lady One was far enough away, I stepped up beside Mindy and whispered, “Who was Posy?”
She looked at me as if she was going to reply but then glanced at Gia and walked faster, pulling away from me and closer to M'Lady One. Gia dropped back.
“Stop asking questions or you will be sorrier than you could ever think possible, and it might not be only because of what they do to you,” she threatened sharply.
We returned to work. From time to time, I saw Natani pause in his own work and look our way. I thought I saw him smile at me, but it was hard to tell as the sun rose higher in the sky and made even the dirt gleam. At noon we were told to stop, clean up in the shower, and return to the house. We had just about completed the east wall of the barn. Everyone had spots of paint on her face, hands, and arms, as well as in her hair. Teal was the most depressed about it.
“I used to go to a beauty parlor once a week,” she said, running her fingers through her stubs.
“Lucky you,” Gia said.
“At least I had a reason to go.”
“Keep your mouths shut,” M'Lady Two called. “Just walk to the showers.”
We were given soap, brushes, and towels and made to scrub until every spot of paint was off our bodies. Then we dressed and started for the house.
At the house we were treated to wonderful ice-cold lemonade. No one was ashamed to show how much she enjoyed it and coveted every drop. After the cold shower and this refreshment, I did feel better.
“Is it going to get easier?” I asked Mindy.
She tilted her head. “What?” She batted her eyelashes. “What was your question?”
“Are things going to get better now?” It seemed like a fair question to ask. We had all been through fire, punished, beaten down to where we were all obedient.
“Better?” She smiled. 'Things are only going to get worse," she predicted with a smile that was so cold, I thought her teeth had turned to stone.
We were marched into Dr. Foreman's office and told to sit. Gia and Mindy kept looking at each other as if they knew exactly what was coming and it wasn't good. Teal had her head back, her eyes closed, and Robin sat staring forward, her eyes like sockets without bulbs.
Dr. Foreman entered smiling warmly and sat in her chair with a notebook in her hand. For a long beat of silence, she just sat there looking at all of us like a proud parent might contemplate her children. Was I right in thinking that we had reached a point where she was pleased?
“Okay, girls,” she began, “we can finally get down to why you've all been sent here. We can finally go after your recuperation and get you all set on the right road. Everyone here has done something to lead me to believe she can change, she can improve, but you all have a ways to go yet, and now that you have spent quality time together and gotten to know each other better.. .”
I was expecting her to compliment us about it, but she surprised me when she continued, "You all know who among you has the least chance of achieving immediate success. Unfortunately, whoever that is will only hold the rest of you back.“ She panned us slowly, her eyes pausing on each of our faces, then moving on to the next and the next, spending a little more time on mine. ”You've all got to think of what's best for everyone and not for yourself. That's the only way to help yourself.
“Now, the most important thing to achieve is honesty. I'm sure you'll all agree. Honesty requires trust, and you girls are the best to decide who among you can and cannot be trusted. Am I right?”
Broken Wings 2 - Midnight Flight Page 12