by C. M. Albert
The doctor made some notes. “And do the three of you want to know who the father is? Technology has come a long way in prenatal DNA testing. We no longer need to gather amniotic fluid, making it safer for the baby. We just use a blood sample from Mom and take swabs from the men. Your insurance won’t cover the test. But if you’re interested in getting one, we can take samples at any time since you’re far enough along.”
I looked at Olivia, then over at Brighton. We’d discussed this the night we brought Olivia home from the hospital. We decided then that we didn’t want to know yet, or possibly ever. This baby was a miracle, pure and simple. Maybe it was for the best that we didn’t know. We didn’t want to drive a wedge into the complicated relationship that was still beginning to form. And the three of us would love the baby, no matter whose it was.
“You don’t have to decide now. There are many quality, at-home mail-in kits you can buy later on. If you decide to find out, just let me know. Also, if you plan on doing any genetic screening, it requires knowing who the father is first. So that’s something you may want to consider.”
“It wouldn’t matter, Dr. Chavez. Nothing would change our decision to keep the baby. For now, we decided not to get a DNA test.”
The doctor nodded, but I could tell she disagreed with our course of action. She didn’t seem judgmental about it. But with her being Olivia’s OB/GYN doctor since our first pregnancy, I knew her concern was more about the overall viability of Olivia’s pregnancy.
“We’ll need to see you once a month until the last two months of your pregnancy, Olivia. Then we’ll have you come in every two weeks. You’re still considered a higher-risk pregnancy due to your previous losses. So, I need you to take it as easy as possible. You can do light cardio and easy lifting, but nothing strenuous. If you’re working, have someone else do the heavy lifting and installations. Since this isn’t your first rodeo, I’m sure you remember what you can eat, and what you should avoid. If you’re not on prenatals already, start taking them today. Especially with being anemic—though your numbers do look better than they did during your hospital visit, so keep up the good work.
“Do you have any questions?” she asked, meeting each of our eyes.
“What’s the likelihood I’ll actually be able to carry this baby to term? After Laelynn, I started doubting my body’s ability to ever hold a baby again. I’m really scared with this pregnancy.”
“Olivia . . .” Dr. Chavez said, moving closer to the exam table. She wiped off the ultrasound gel and helped Liv sit up after closing her gown. She met Olivia’s concerned gaze. “I know you’re scared, and it’s normal to doubt your body’s ability after loss. But you are still young and healthy overall. The baby is doing good right now. Just the fact that you got pregnant while on birth control tells me that this baby is strong. It’s a fighter. So, you need to be too. As much as you can, I need you to find healthy ways to release the fear around this baby. Holding stress in the body isn’t going to help. Each baby that came before this one had its own story. But this baby does, too. So, try not to borrow fear and project it onto this little one. Give this baby its own chance to tell its story—whatever that may be.”
“Thank you, Dr. Chavez,” Olivia said, wiping tears that pooled at the corner of her eyes.
“You have a lot of help having two men by your side. Take advantage of it. Find ways to experience joy together and make happy new memories with this pregnancy. Many women go on to have completely healthy babies after miscarriages and stillbirths. Now, that doesn’t mean that we won’t monitor your pregnancy closer. As your baby grows, it’ll be critical to self-monitor movement and activity in there and let us know if there are any changes. I know it might be easier said than done but give yourself permission to be present in this pregnancy and try not to compare it to your other ones. You don’t want to pass time fretting through each stage.” She smiled warmly, patting Olivia’s knee before she left. “This is your rainbow baby, Olivia. There’s much to celebrate.”
Before she and the nurse left the room to let Olivia get dressed, Dr. Chavez printed out a long row of ultrasound pictures and placed them in an envelope. She handed them to Brighton. “Congratulations. I can tell this baby is going to be surrounded by love. You two take good care of Olivia, and I’ll see you back in four weeks. Be thinking about whether or not you want to find out the gender,” she said, winking.
“I definitely want to find out the gender,” Brighton said as the door closed behind the doctor.
“Me, too,” I said, grinning.
“Me, three!” Olivia said, sliding off the table. “On that note, the baby and I are really hungry. Ry, would you mind stopping somewhere on the way home to grab us something to eat?”
“Not at all. I’m happy to. Besides, what the baby wants, the baby gets, right? You got anywhere to be this evening, Kerrington?”
“Just dinner plans with my best lady.”
“We’re really doing this, aren’t we?” I said in amazement. “We’re having a baby, Livy.”
“I was so afraid to believe the doctor at the hospital,” she whispered. “But being able to hear its heartbeat today—and to see it healthy in there—it makes everything so much more real. I still remember seeing Laelynn for the first time. But the doctor’s right. We need to celebrate every milestone with this baby and stay as positive as we can.”
Olivia dressed, and we each took turns giving her long, emotional hugs.
“So, how are we going to celebrate?” Liv asked.
“How about we start with a nice dinner first? Then—I know this is going to sound crazy and impulsive—but what if we got away for the weekend? We have two days off next week, so I have a long weekend. Let’s escape the city and go somewhere where no one knows us. Figure some of this stuff out together. What do you say?”
Olivia threw her arms around me. “That sounds like heaven. Where should we go?”
I looked over at Brighton. He had his hand on Liv’s lower back and was rubbing it.
“Kerrington and I will take care of everything,” I assured her. “Your only job this weekend will be to get pampered.”
“I like the sounds of that!” she said. “Now, hand over the pics. I want to see our baby girl again.”
“Or boy,” Brighton reminded her, handing her the envelope.
We followed Olivia out of the doctor’s office and down the long hallway of the boutique medical center. Every doctor you could imagine was under one roof, and they all worked for the same health care conglomeration, making referrals unnecessary and access to other health care providers just a short walk away.
We were all oohing and ahhing over the baby’s pictures as we walked toward the parking garage. Which is why we didn’t see Kimber before running into her.
Oh hell.
Chapter Eighteen
Olivia
“RYAN! WHAT A surprise to keep running into you today like this. Olivia,” she said, trying to catch a glimpse at what was in my hands. It was obvious from the long strand of folded, black-and-white photos that they were ultrasound images. “Oh, my! I didn’t realize you were expecting again so soon, Ryan! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Because we aren’t telling anyone yet. I’d appreciate if you didn’t either. We want to get a little further along in the pregnancy before sharing the good news.”
“Indeed!” She ran two pinched fingers in front of her puckered lips as if zipping them. “Mum’s the word! You know you can trust me to keep a secret!”
My stomach churned. Of all people to run into, Kimber was the last person in the world I’d trust with a secret.
“Well, congratulations, Olivia! How exciting. And Brighton!” she said, eyeing our neighbor from head to toe. “You are just the person I wanted to see. How completely unexpected that you would be with the Wells at such an important appointment.”
I ground my teeth, ready to pounce on her like a feral Chihuahua. Ryan took the pictures from my hands and folded them back into
the envelope, then draped his arm around my shoulder.
“Well, that’s what best friends do, Mrs. Shanahan,” Brighton said smoothly. “As the godfather, I plan to be as involved as I can every step of the way. I couldn’t be happier for Ryan and Olivia.”
I licked my lips and swallowed. My heart ached at the lie Brighton felt we needed to tell to ward off nosy acquaintances and prevent salacious gossip.
“Well, isn’t that cozy,” she said, glancing right at me. She lifted her shoulders, scrunched her nose, and forced a smile on her caked-on, overly rouged face as if that were the cutest news in the world and she just couldn’t stand it. Then she immediately swung her attention back to Brighton. “Did Ryan pass along my message to you?”
Brighton looked at Ryan and shrugged, jamming his hands into his pockets. “Can’t say he did, being busy at his wife’s doctor’s appointment and all. I just ran into them myself coming from my own doctor’s appointment.”
Smooth. I wasn’t sure if I should be concerned with the ease in which these lies kept coming or impressed. Kimber looked flustered, swiftly realizing we were a united front and wouldn’t give her a bit of the gossip fodder she was seeking.
Definitely impressed.
“Well, we have good news! Mr. Shanahan and I were at your open house, and after much consideration, we decided we’re interested in buying your uncle’s property. You did a lot of beautiful work to get started on such a massive renovation. We’d be committed to finishing the job, following the historical preservation guidelines to a T, of course. You can be sure of that!”
Wow. Pretentious much? I couldn’t wait to hear Brighton shut this shit down.
“While your interest is certainly a compliment, I’m afraid the property has already sold.”
“What?” I said in disbelief at the same time as Kimber. Ryan squeezed my shoulders to remind me not to give anything away in front of his colleague.
“Yep! My sister, Paige, is the real estate agent managing the sale on behalf of our family, and I have it on good authority that the paperwork has already been signed and it’s in escrow as we speak.”
Kimber’s face burned bright red, and she looked like she wanted to rip somebody’s head off. I tried not to giggle. Then she blinked and plastered on the fake smile she normally wore. “That’s unfortunate. But perhaps it’s for the best. This way we can find something more to our taste on the inside, as well. It was nice seeing you again, Ryan. Olivia,” she said, barely glancing my way.
As she walked away, doing her best to look unaffected, I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her. I wouldn’t ever understand someone who purposely tried to cut others down. But whatever made her so sour was something she had to live with every day of her life, and that didn’t sound so appealing to me. It made me realize how incredibly fortunate I was to have a husband who loved me more than anything in the world. Who loved me so much, in fact, that he was willing to share my heart, knowing that it meant no less love for him.
I looked over at Brighton, and my heart constricted. I never knew I needed a Brighton in my life until he showed up, swinging his hammer, and unnerving me with that half-cocky, half-seductive grin of his. I’d almost lost him. I came this close.
I squeezed my eyes closed. The thought of losing either of my loves made me physically ill. I took a deep breath and fell into Ryan’s waiting arms, because I knew it wasn’t such a good idea for me to tumble into Brighton’s publicly just yet, and I needed someone else’s strength to support me.
I looked up at Ryan, my lower lip trembling from the thoughts racing through my head. “I’m sorry. For every day I pushed you away and wouldn’t let you give me the support you so desperately wanted to. You were ready to take my grief for me and carry it—even at your own expense. Only I didn’t know how to give it to you to share. I don’t know if I would’ve made it without you.”
He pushed my hair back from my forehead and kissed it. “Whoa. Where is all this coming from, Liv? Don’t let Kimber get in your head.”
“It’s not about Kimber,” I reassured him. “I just can’t believe how lucky I am to have so much love in my life. Six months ago, I was pushing everyone away. My friends. My therapist. You.” That last one was the hardest to swallow.
“By letting Brighton in, you taught me just how much love a heart can really hold. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to feel anything when I saw the baby today on the ultrasound. But I did. I don’t know why god gave us this blessing right now, the way he did. But my heart finally feels open enough to receive it. And that’s because of you.”
Ryan leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
“There’s only one problem,” I said.
“What’s that?”
I turned to Brighton. “We need to figure out what we’re going to do now that the house is sold. I can’t bear to think of you living so far away in Watertown. I would miss the hell out of you. Not to mention once the baby comes. I don’t want you to miss out on any of her milestones.”
“Don’t you mean his?” Brighton flashed me a wicked grin, and I swatted him playfully. “Come on, let’s get back to the car. We can talk more about this on our trip this weekend. But you have nothing to worry about, Feisty.”
“I don’t?”
Brighton shook his head and leaned back on his heels, a shit-eating grin lighting up his face.
“Brighton! What is it?”
“It’s me, Liv. I bought the house. It’s mine now. Hell—I think it was always meant to be mine. Guess all your hoodoo-voodoo good luck charms really did work.”
It felt as if my heart stopped for just a moment. “You bought your uncle’s house? Just so you could stay close to me?”
“Well—technically, so I could stay close to both of you.”
“You would do something like that? For us? Are you sure—like a thousand percent sure—you want to uproot your entire life and move here? What about your business? And your family? You have family up there.”
“Yes, and they’re less than two hours away. We can visit them anytime we want. But the family I can’t live without is standing right in front of me. Someone wise once told me that you end up creating the family you always needed. Guess that’s what I’ve done.” Brighton looked over my shoulder at Ryan, and that silent language they shared hung heavy in the air between them. He got a little choked up and turned his attention back to me.
“All three of us have lost so much. But we won’t be leaving them behind just because we’re moving forward. Your two babies, Laelynn, Sam . . . they will always be a part of this odd little family of ours. I learned a long time ago that life is too short not to seize love when it comes knocking at your door. Especially if it’s a fancy purple one,” he teased.
“I think you mean plum suede,” Ryan bantered.
Brighton and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yay! We’ve finally dragged Ryan over to the dark side of knowing paint colors!”
“Smartass,” Ryan said, smacking my backside.
“Let’s go pack and get this show on the road. As much as I love my new house, I can’t wait to travel with you for the first time. And we need to figure out where we’re going,” Brighton said.
“Or . . .” Ryan said as we walked back to the parking garage, “we could go with the flow—which seems to be working at the moment. Why don’t we just drive and see where our hearts take us?”
“I like that idea,” I said. “I like it very much.”
Chapter Nineteen
Brighton
WHEN WE PULLED into my new driveway, Olivia and I were greeted with a bold “SOLD” sticker placed diagonally across the large, wooden For Sale sign my sister installed at the front of the property before the open house. I squeezed Liv’s hand.
“It’s hard to believe how much our lives have changed in such a short amount of time,” I said, running the pad of my thumb along the ridge of one of her fingers. I rubbed the sides of her engagement ring and wedding band.
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�Are you sure it’s what you really want?” she asked quietly. “I keep thinking it’s all a dream, and I’m going to wake up and find you gone one day.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Liv. Not ever.”
She looked down at her wedding rings. “Does it bother you? I feel like you’re going to miss out on so much if you settle for being with Ryan and me.”
“I’m not settling, Olivia. I love you. Fuck,” I said, dragging my hand through my hair as I turned in my seat to face her. “I love both of you so much, can’t you see that? Sure, I love you differently than Ryan. But I can’t imagine my life without either of you anymore.”
“I feel the same,” she whispered.
Olivia and I hadn’t really had much one-on-one time alone since everything fell back into place. I was grateful that Ryan decided to pick up dinner for us on the way home so Olivia and I could come home and get a head start on packing and finding a pet sitter for Stitch.
“Don’t you want to get married someday? We won’t ever be able to have that.”
I chewed my lip, reading the sadness etched all over her face. I’d never gotten this real about my feelings with Liv or any other woman before. But I knew I needed to put her heart at ease, so she didn’t carry this guilt into our future.
“Did you know that I had already seen you before we ever met?”
“No!” she said, surprised.
“The first time was in a rainstorm. The rain had tapered, so I snuck out to the dumpster to throw something out before it started back up again. I saw you in your sunroom, looking like a beautiful, elusive ghost. I couldn’t make out your face, but I saw you. Even from here I could feel your pain, Olivia.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I saw you a few other times after that, always the same way. I grew curious about who you were and what your story was. I can’t explain why I was so drawn to you, but I cared about your well-being before I even met you.”