by Dianne Drake
“It’s part of who I am as a doctor. When I order a test, I don’t want to wait days for the results. When I order medications, I want them immediately. My patients expect that from me. So does your grandfather.”
“He doesn’t mind your impatience?”
“It gets results, so why should he?”
“You’re always about the climb, aren’t you?”
“That shouldn’t come as news. And maybe time has escalated my impatience,” she said, smiling. “However it works, it serves my patients well, and that’s always the bottom line for me.”
“But what about your own personal bottom line, Layla? I know you have an agenda, as most people do, but what happens to you if something derails it? What if you don’t get this promotion? You’ve been working for it the whole time you’ve been a doctor, so what do you do with yourself when it doesn’t happen? Do you take stock of the things you’ve put aside to get it? Do you regret what you’ve missed on that climb?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “For me, my life is designed around forward momentum. If that stopped, if I couldn’t get where I wanted to go, I have no idea what I’d do. Maybe try someplace else. Maybe still keep pushing despite the roadblock.”
“At what cost, though?”
“Do you really care, Arlo?”
“Surprisingly, yes. I know how you struggle to get ahead. I lived with it until I realized I couldn’t compete with it.”
“I’m sorry that happened,” she said.
“I don’t regret what we were, Layla. I walked away from us as a better man. But I did worry about your direction. In a lot of ways, it was much more difficult than mine. It still is.” And, yes, he still worried. More than he should.
CHAPTER FOUR
THIS WAS CERTAINLY not what she’d expected, but she did like the more mature Arlo, with his dry wit and lack of sophistication. It was easy to see what she’d seen in him first time around, because most of it was still there, but better. Likability had never been a problem. But fundamental differences made up for that. No matter what else, he was a good man. Charitable. Kind. Nearly perfect in more ways than she remembered.
“You drive,” Layla said, tossing her SUV keys to Arlo. It was sitting out front of the hospital, all washed and sparkly, thanks to the kindness of several villagers who’d pulled it out of the ditch and brought it to the hospital for her. Then detailed it. “Since you know where you’re going and I don’t.”
They were on their way to visit Kanika, the woman who had had dengue fever.
“You’re lucky as most of the way there is on a real road. Dirt. A little rutted. But a road nonetheless.”
“And by most of the way you’re implying that some of the way is not?”
“I might be,” he said, walking around the SUV, looking at every aspect of it. “Nice vehicle.”
“A gift from my parents. Rather than telling me they were proud of me, they bought me a car. When I’m gone, you can have it to get you back and forth to those supplies you need and don’t always have proper transportation to go and get. And, no, that’s not the spoiled little rich girl doing this. It’s the practical doctor who wants to help you.”
“And the practical doctor in me appreciates your generosity.”
“There was a time when you’d have said something cutting about me being a material girl.”
“And there was a time when you were. But I was wrong to throw that back at you so much, especially at the end. I knew who you were, Layla, when we got together. You never made any pretense that you weren’t. But we were extremely different people going in and our goals couldn’t have been more different. We knew that, though, and most of the time we got around it. But when it was time to break up, I needed something to push me in that direction because I was really torn about doing what I’d set out to do or staying with you. So that’s what I latched onto. I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry I did.”
“You thought about staying?”
“All the time.”
“But I drove you away. Isn’t that why you left?”
He shook his head. “I always knew what I had to do. In the end, my sense of duty brought me home. You were always upwardly mobile. I was always homeward bound.”
She knew that. She’d always known that and while he’d respected her direction, she hadn’t respected his. “I wanted someone to love me more than they did their trappings. My parents never did. And you—I expected too much. In retrospect, we probably shouldn’t have gotten involved the way we did.”
“You regret it?” he asked.
She laughed. “Not a moment of it.”
He hopped into the SUV and tossed his medical rucksack into the back seat. Layla did the same, and for the first several minutes of the ride they said nothing. Probably because they were both trying to process what had already been said. At least, that’s what Layla was doing. But when Arlo stopped abruptly on the road, jumped out of the SUV and ran across to an old woman hobbling her way just off to the side, Layla called out the window, “Do you need me?”
“No. Waan has severe arthritis and I’m just offering her a ride home. She walks into the village once or twice a week to buy goods from the vendors, but she’s really not up to it.”
Layla watched him take the woman’s packages, then help her over to the SUV. Arlo was such a good man. If she’d thought that once since she’d known him, she’d thought that a million times. He cast her a boyish smile as he helped Waan into the back seat then took his place in the driver’s seat, next to Layla. Just looking at him and seeing the pleasure on his face in all the helpful things he did, she thought her heart would melt.
Did he know how drop-dead gorgeous he was? A little unkempt, but it worked for him. Always had. And maybe that was the expectation to beat all expectations. The perfect man for her, if there was such a thing, was more like Arlo, and less like any other man she’d ever met. Or might ever meet. “Is she on any kind of NSAID?” Layla asked, smiling back at the woman, who clearly only had eyes for Arlo.
“I’ve tried a few, but they bother her stomach. And the better-class drugs, like biological modifiers, aren’t practical out here. Too much to monitor, too many lab tests.”
“So, what does she take?”
“Nothing,” Arlo said, turning off the main road onto a road that was little more than a path. “She decided she didn’t want to worry about the side effects of pretty much anything I could prescribe, and as long as she can get around she’s happy. Normally, one of her children will bring her to the village in a truck, but Waan is a proud, independent woman who likes to do it by herself when she can. Kind of like someone else I know.”
“Have you researched any of the new drugs on the market? Maybe there’s something...”
He shook his head. “She made her decision a couple of years ago, and I respect that. Medicine can cure many things, but for Waan it can’t cure the indignities of always being needy. So she isn’t.” He stopped in front of a pleasant whitewashed cottage, and helped Waan out of the back seat. Then grabbed her packages and extended an arm to help her as they walked together, very slowly, up the path to the door. Once there, he handed her back her packages, bowed in respect to her, then hurried back to the SUV. “She’s very traditional,” he said. “Won’t invite a man into her home unless there’s a chaperone.”
“Since she doesn’t take any medicine, wouldn’t she benefit from living in the village rather than isolated, so far outside it?”
“It’s her home. She’s lived every day of her almost eighty years there. And it was the home of her parents, her grandparents and possibly another generation before that. We might think living in the village would be better for her, but she thinks otherwise, and part of the medicine we practice out here is all tied up with respecting our patients for who they are and how they live, even when we think there might be a better alternative.
“Oh, and she said to tell you that you’re welcome any time for tea. She likes having a lady doctor in the hospital.” He chuckled. “Which may be code for her allowing you to do a physical on her. She won’t let me even approach the subject.”
“Maybe I can find a relatively safe histamine blocker or proton-pump inhibitor to take with an every-other-day NSAID. Or even something that combines ibuprofen with famotidine. A dose every other day would certainly be better than nothing. Do you think I could get something like that ordered?”
“You’re really up on your pharmacopoeia. I’m impressed.”
“I’ve had to treat too many gastric ulcers surgically, so to prevent the condition I have to be.”
“Then I’ll see what I can do about getting a trial sample in for Waan. Again, I’m impressed, Layla. I’ve thought of you in a lot of ways over the years, but never as a practicing surgeon, even though I knew you were one.”
She laughed. “I do have my good moments.” And one had just happened. This was the first time Arlo had ever complimented on her medical skills in any substantial way. In fact, it was the first time she’d ever had the feeling that he respected her abilities. That meant a lot, as his respect was something she’d always wanted more than almost anything else. And had never felt like she’d achieved.
Settling back into the seat, she closed her eyes, wanting to bask in the moment a little longer, but her basking was short-lived as Arlo swerved to avoid a rut that would have swallowed up a water buffalo, causing the seat belt to lock down on her. So she removed it to reset it and put it back on but, in that instant, when she wasn’t belted in, he hit a bump that literally did send her sprawling almost into his lap. He immediately slowed the vehicle, and by the time she’d righted herself they were face to face, gazing into each other’s eyes, only inches apart.
“Well, this feels awkward,” he teased, stopping the vehicle while she maneuvered back into her seat. “Being close enough that we could have—”
“Kissed,” she supplied.
“For starters.”
“Maybe once,” she said, fastening her belt. “But something tells me a kiss of convenience isn’t nearly as good as one of passion. And a bump in the road doesn’t really translate into passion.”
“You sound more like I did all those years ago. Always overanalyzing everything and drawing conclusions rather than going with the moment.”
“Live and learn,” she said. “And I had a very good teacher.” She’d also graduated at the top of her masterclass when it came to knowing how to protect her heart. And, as she was discovering, being near Arlo again made that very difficult. “Also, you may have known where you were going back then,” she said, double-checking her safety strap, “but I’m not so sure about now, on this road, which is where your undivided attention should be.”
He chuckled. “To think this is one of our better roads.”
“No wonder your back aches. I’ll bet it has as much to do with the bumps as it does falling through the roof.”
“Actually, the road bothers my neck when I’m on the scooter.”
“You need a hot tub, like I mentioned before.”
“Actually, I’d settle for hot water in a real shower.”
“Do you ever get away from here, Arlo? Not to go visit your family, but a day or two away, where you can kick back and do something nice for yourself?”
“Wish I could. But I can’t afford it. I do go to a regional hospital a couple hours away from time to time, indulge in a hot shower, surf the internet, spend the night in a comfortable bed if my patient load here permits it. And then, only if the hospital has coverage.”
“Well, it’s not as nice as a luxury hotel, but I’m glad you have that.”
He looked over at her. “You’ve changed, Layla. You’re more accepting of things outside your norm.”
She’d changed because she’d believed that if she could have been more for him, things might have ended up differently. So she’d worked on herself, trying hard to cultivate a broader vision. And a more tolerant one. “You grow up in the job. To be a good doctor, you have to. At least, I had to.”
Arlo’s recognition of her changes was nice. Very nice.
* * *
“Heads up,” Arlo said, as they made their way up to the front door.
“What?”
“Heads up.” He pointed to the snake, in all its green and black checkered glory, in the tree just in front of her, hanging down from a branch. “The element of surprise isn’t really a good thing when it drops out of a tree onto your head.” He stopped and waited until she caught up, then laid his hand across her back in a protective manner to escort her around the spot where the tree snake was plotting its move.
“It’s a golden tree snake, and the bad thing is they conceal themselves pretty well in the trees. Another bad thing is they’re very agile, and they bite quickly. Hurts like hell since they usually get you on the neck, face or shoulder. The good thing is they’re only mildly venomous—usually just cause a little site reaction—and we do have the antivenin in stock if it turns out you’re allergic.
“And just so you’ll know, that’s the snake you’re most likely to find out here. Trees, walls, bushes. Meaning practice keeping your eyes on the ground while looking up at the same time because this little guy does like to have his way with you.”
Once she was past the snake, Arlo reached up and pulled him from his branch then carried him off into the bushes to let him go.
“You’re even kind to the snakes,” she said, as the trail narrowed to a barely passable width, and she was so busy looking for snakes she tripped over a tree root and, for the second time in less than half an hour, almost ended up in his arms. But this time she caught herself before she made the full fall, then jumped back when he attempted to grab hold of her to prevent her from hitting the ground. She slapped him, then laughed. “Thought you were another tree snake.”
“Likely story,” he said, stepping around her then taking her hand to pull her along. “And I try to be kind. What’s the point in anything else?”
How could he just keep saying the right things over and over? How could she protect her heart from that? “So, you really know your herpetology,” she said, deliberately avoiding anything that would pull her another step closer emotionally.
“Not as much as I should. Since I’ve lived here most of my life, you’d think I would have a background. But my up-close-and-personal relationship with snakes starts with me getting bitten and, so far, ending with me surviving. I can usually identify friend or foe, though.”
“Sounds like I’ll have to rely on you to take care of me. At least as far as the snakes go.”
And he would. He had when they’d been together, when she’d been a wide-eyed innocent taking her first real trip into the world, and nothing had changed. She counted on that more than she’d ever wanted to.
“I always tried to, Layla. Even when you didn’t want me to.”
“I know, and I appreciated it, although I might never have told you.” She brushed her hand over his cheek. “I’ve never not trusted you, Arlo. My problem was having that much trust in anyone scared me. Because having that kind of trust can lead to so much pain when it ends.”
“How so?”
“Everybody has a personal motive. Brad, my failure of a fiancé, liked having me as a showpiece. Ollie’s motive for my promotion brings notice to his surgery since female surgeons comprise less than twenty percent of all surgeons overall, and promoting one to a high position gives his surgery a lot of publicity. Even my own parents, for the sake of their careers, like to present a picture of a perfect family, which we’re not.”
“And me?”
“You simply came to me first as a friend then as a lover. And there was no pretext or motive to that. So, because of you, I learned to truly trust for the first time. Maybe the only time.�
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“I don’t even know how to respond to that.”
“Then don’t. Take it for what it is. A simple truth. Something I’ve learned lately is that not everything needs a response. Some things can stand on their own.” She smiled. “But thank you for giving me something to trust the way no one ever had before us, or even after us.”
He studied her for a moment. Then finally said, “I think there were a lot of things we should have known about each other before, but didn’t.”
“Because we jumped in before we were ready. If we’d stood back and really looked at it, I don’t think we would have leaped the way we did.”
“Common sense isn’t part of falling in love. We had the physical momentum and the friendship. But I think we lacked the common sense. At least I did. Otherwise I wouldn’t have fallen so hard.”
“But did you fall for me or the idea of what we should be?”
“Both. Not sure in what proportions, though. So...” He pointed to the two faces visible in the doorway. “I think we’re being watched. Maybe because they’re expecting a sweet.”
Before he could pull a handful from his own pocket, Layla reached into her pocket and beat him to it.
He chuckled. “You always were a quick learner.”
“And you always were a good teacher.”
By the time they’d approached the door, the children had already run out to join them, expecting the candy from Arlo but glad to take it from Layla.
“Friends for life,” he said as they stood in the doorway.
“If only it was always that easy.”
“Kanika, it’s Doc Arlo. May I come in?”
The woman inside poked her head out the door to make sure, then stepped aside to let him in. Arlo spoke to her in Thai as she led them both back to a tiny, curtained-off area where a child lay on a mat on the floor. A beautiful child, with big brown eyes and thick black hair. And a big smile meant for Arlo. “Candy?” she asked in English.