by Kate Speck
Darcy cleared his throat and straightened, realizing that this was his future father-in-law if everything went according to his wishes. “Yes, sir. I am fine now. Although I have a memory loss of two days, everything else is functioning.”
“Yes, I heard about the memory loss. And there was some talk of your seeing monsters,” Mr. Bennet chuckled, seeing Darcy color. “My Lizzy was particularly amused with the event but I can see that her vanity was quite wounded. If you had only found her tolerable, she might not be so angry with you but you called her, what did she say, ‘a loathsome beast’?” He laughed as Darcy turned brighter red.
“I… I do not find her loathsome. Not in the least, sir. I apologize. I did not know… I was seeing things and…” Darcy stumbled for words, not knowing how much of his heart to reveal, and being earnestly embarrassed that he could have insulted a lady in such a way.
Mr. Bennet nodded. “I understand, Mr. Darcy. You would be a fool to insult my favorite daughter. Perhaps she might be willing to accept your apology someday.” He walked away after his mild chastisement, to speak with Sir Lucas and to observe his two youngest daughters behaving more composed than he had ever seen before.
Darcy stood alone, wondering how in the world he would apology to Lizzy, when his heart stilled for a moment hearing her voice. He walked towards the music as if in a trance and leaned against the wall to see her at the pianoforte, singing a beautiful song while her fingers played. He cared nothing for her lack of dowry or connections; whether she had a single quality dress or was wearing burlap, even if she had uncles enough to fill all Cheapside, nothing else mattered to him, as he fell deeper in love with the woman of his dreams.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“He certainly looks at you often, Miss Eliza,” Caroline Bingley taunted. “It must be to find fault, as I am confident of his love for me.” She whispered to Elizabeth as they walked arm in arm in the Netherfield gardens.
Darcy sat on a bench that overlooked the walking path and as much as he attempted to behave properly, he could not stop staring at Elizabeth Bennet, even though Richard had berated him for appearing so fearsome and Georgiana begged him to find something to like about her dearest friend.
Miss Jane Bennet had been invited alone to Netherfield a few days ago by Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst so that they could get to know her better, but Miss Bennet had arrived sodden on horseback and had become ill. When Miss Elizabeth had arrived the morning after, Darcy knew it was his chance to court her properly but he had no idea where to begin.
He had not told a soul what had happened with Lizzy and even Richard thought Darcy was offended by her somehow. His cousin had even apologized in trying to matchmake them and pleaded with him to be civil with her.
Darcy grew green with jealousy when Richard kissed Lizzy’s hand before taking his leave yesterday to return to duties in London. He watched her blush and was tempted to grab her again and kiss her senseless in public, but he knew she would not hesitate to slap him again.
He attempted to have a pleasant conversation with her but became extremely nervous and found himself unable to carry on the simplest of exchanges without sounding like a bumbling fool. Whatever he did say was remarked with a challenge or a witty retort by this fascinating woman and every topic he solicited was diverted to include Georgiana or anyone else in the room instead. He could only wish for a private moment to beg for her mercy and for her hand in marriage but he knew Lizzy would never comply.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Well, I am certain he finds many faults with me, Miss Bingley. Congratulations on your engagement with that gentleman.” Elizabeth was not sure what to think. Mr. Darcy, who had proclaimed his love to her only days ago seemed to be engaged already to Mr. Bingley’s sister, and Caroline had confided her in private, showing off her engagement ring and telling her that it was a secret to everyone else, behaving as if they were the best of friends.
“I am most pleased that Fitzwilliam wishes me to be Mistress of Pemberley. I have been there two summers in a row. It is the grandest home I have ever seen and it makes Netherfield look like a pauper’s home. As soon as he is fully recovered, we hope to set a wedding date.” Caroline leaned closer and whispered quietly, “Hopefully sooner than later. I believe I am carrying his heir already.” She winked.
Caroline had seen the look of lust in Mr. Darcy’s eyes whenever he turned to Eliza Bennet. He had never looked at a woman like that before and she boiled with jealousy when he declared Miss Eliza’s eyes to be very fine. Caroline hated that interloper, who took all of her attentions away from Mr. Darcy, who should be looking at herself. I am the one wearing his mother’s ring. I am the one that he is betrothed to, whether he likes it or not. If I can only get back into his rooms and sneak into his bed, he would have to marry me. I might have to find someone to get me pregnant so I can dupe him into believing that he truly impregnated me.
Elizabeth nodded her head and continued her walk without speaking further. She was in shock as she thought over Caroline Bingley’s words.
He is already engaged, he tried to impose on me while already promised to another, and he has already anticipated his vows. He is truly a rake. I believed him more honorable but I suppose I do not know him at all. Georgiana believes him to be the best of brothers, but oh, what secrets we keep from our own siblings. I have not told Jane of my history with Mr. Darcy and I suppose Mr. Darcy keeps many secrets from his own sister.
She sighed in disappointment. Even though he does not speak much, what he says when he speaks is intelligent and he seems to be a good man otherwise. My first impressions were quite accurate. He is an arrogant womanizer and he probably only wishes me to warm his bed, or God forbid, be his mistress after he marries Miss Bingley. I cannot imagine him happy with her, though. She is not good enough for him.
Elizabeth had to be honest with herself, But he is handsome and generous. He is good to Georgiana and if he were not engaged, if he were more honorable, it would be a great privilege to be loved by him.
She shook off her thoughts and excused herself to return to Jane’s bedside.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Darcy growled. Damn! She has run away once again. Why does she insist on avoiding me? He saw Elizabeth curtsey to Miss Bingley and he walked rapidly after her but she was too quick and had run into Miss Bennet’s room before he could call out to her.
He stood outside her door, scratching his head, to figure out a way to approach her again without scaring her off. Then suddenly, the door opened and he saw Lizzy exit.
Elizabeth froze when she saw him several feet away.
“Lizzy,” Darcy began. “I need to speak with you. I must apologize and I wish to clear the air.”
“I have nothing to say to you, sir. I just need to call for more water for my sister. Pray excuse me.” Elizabeth tried to walk past him but was stopped by his strong arms around her waist, with her back touching his torso as he embraced her from behind.
“Lizzy, I cannot live without you. Please, please speak with me. Please forgive me.” He pleaded, as his lips found their way to her neck and shoulder.
Elizabeth shuddered at his ministrations. How could such a rake make me feel so alive? I am wanton for desiring his touch.
“Please release me, Mr. Darcy. You cannot do this.” Elizabeth swallowed down a sob. “Please.” she entreated.
Hearing her cry, Darcy’s heart broke. He behaved like a rake once again. All semblance of honor and respect and proper behavior of a gentleman had flown out of his head as soon as he was near her, and he had made her cry.
“I am so sorry. You do not know how sorry I am, Lizzy. I cannot control myself around you, and every insult, every misbehavior I ever committed against you, I wish I had not done so.” He released her quickly.
Without turning around, Elizabeth quickly raced towards the kitchens to fetch the water herself.
Darcy was wretched. Georgiana was busy with her lessons with Mrs. Annesley, Bingley was working with his steward, and Richar
d had left yesterday. The Bennet sisters would be leaving tomorrow after church services, and he would return to his misery once again.
Miss Bingley had left him alone now and he felt safer being at Netherfield, but he wished he could retreat to Pemberley. He yearned to lift his Lizzy on his shoulder and carry her out of here and take her to his home. He wanted to make her his wife, to make her sister to Georgiana. He wished to give her everything he had to make her mistress of his homes.
Richard had reported to him all about Mrs. Bennet after the assembly, and although quite crass and loud when she visited Netherfield three days ago, he could see right away that she was trying to emulate Georgiana’s manners. He remembered from Richard’s reports that she was a daughter of a solicitor and that she had a brother in Cheapside who was a retailer of merchandise, as well as a sister married to the Meryton solicitor.
Georgiana had explained that Lizzy had a 1,000-pound dowry at her mother’s passing and that Mr. Bingley would be a great catch for Jane, but that the ladies were so wonderful that they would be swooped up quickly by decent men of some standing. Georgiana had complimented Mr. Bingley’s choice yesterday when Bingley had asked for courtship with Jane.
His sister had still begged him to allow Lizzy to visit Pemberley after Christmas and Darcy had heartily agreed, but if only Miss Elizabeth would consent. He knew she would never accept it now, but dearly wished she would. The past week spent with her under the same roof had been enlightening and he knew his heart was lost to his Lizzy forever.
After the Ball next week, I will take Georgiana home. Whether to London or Pemberley, I need to get out of here. I need to give Lizzy space as well as find my future. She positively hates me and I cannot do this to her. I cannot break her heart while she breaks mine.
Darcy took a deep breath and turned to his rooms to write a letter to his dear aunt of his frustrations and to work on his businesses to take his mind off of the seductress.
Chapter 9
“WHAT?! HOW?” Darcy yelled.
Georgiana grinned fully at her fuming brother. “It is true and I did do it! Lizzy was with me and she saw the whole thing. She even protected me, calling loudly for a crowd to approach us so we would have witnesses.”
“I cannot believe it!” Darcy plopped down in his chair in astonishment. “You actually slapped George Wickham, who is in Meryton to obtain a lieutenantship, who tried to tempt you to elope with him once again?” He summarized the shocking news. “And Lizzy, I mean, Miss Elizabeth, was with you? Was she well?”
“Yes, William. She was so proud of me for handling myself against that rake. He tried to grab my arm after I slapped him and she walked between us to stop him; she told him that he was the worst of men for trying to assault a sixteen-year-old girl. The townsfolk began to gather around us and knowing Lizzy as a favorite, they began to boo him off and he ran like the coward he is. I am no longer afraid of him, William. Whatever rumors he might try to start, Lizzy warded it off by explaining to her Aunt Philips that he was a gambler and a seducer, trying to damage young ladies, even in public places like Meryton. She told her aunt that he might start fabricating stories about eloping with me or losing his inheritance from the Darcy family and to pay no attention to him. Aunt Philips, I mean, her Aunt Philips started telling everyone that they should be careful of George Wickham, as he is a known gambler and might run up debts with the merchants. I am so glad I told Lizzy about Wickham.” She sat down most unladylike and laughed. “La! That was the most fun I had in… well, ever!”
Darcy stood and paced. “But Lizzy could have been hurt if Wickham tried something. You are certain she is well?” He was severely concerned for his beloved.
“Oh, yes. Lizzy was not frightened one bit. When I told her about Wickham, she placed the blame entirely on that lecher and told me that I was innocent. She was proud of you for coming to my rescue in Ramsgate and for treating me so kindly.” She beamed.
“She was proud of me?” Darcy’s heart thumped harder. “She thought I did well?”
“Yes, brother. She said you were a good brother and that she had known it for a long time.”
Perhaps I still have a chance. Perhaps she will wish to know me better now. Darcy thought.
“Do you think there is any chance that you might befriend her now, William? Do you still find her so repulsive?” Georgiana asked innocently.
“What do you mean ‘repulsive’? When did I tell you that I found her repulsive?” Darcy sharply retorted.
“Well, Lizzy told me that you found her loathsome and that you were not pleased with her. At least that was what she said in the beginning. You seem to frown whenever she is in the same room with you and she avoids you like the plague. I know you do not like each other but could you not tolerate her for my sake? She is my best friend. Although I like Mary and Kitty and Lydia quite much now, Lizzy is my favorite and she is so wonderful. Could you be nicer to her, William? Please, please?” She begged.
“Oh, Georgiana, I find her tolerable.” More than tolerable! I am in love with her. “But she dislikes me and it seems we are continuing to build our misunderstandings of each other to the point that we cannot be in the same room together. I am sorry, sweetling. I truly did not mean to offend. I will try to be nicer. I have been trying to be nicer but she avoids me because I have made… I have been not very nice to her. Yes, I will be nicer.” He did not know how much more he could share. He remembered Lizzy’s tears and his heart broke again.
Georgiana, not knowing her brother’s condition, cheerfully commented. “Perhaps you can ask her for the first dance at the Ball when we call on them tomorrow. You will join Mr. Bingley tomorrow when he visits to invite them to the Ball in person, will you not? It has been so nice to make calls with Mr. Bingley and chaperone with Lizzy when he takes his walks with Jane, but I do wish you would also join us. Mrs. Bennet is quite nice, I have found, and I like Mr. Bennet very much. He is similar to Lizzy and he makes me laugh.” She placed a biscuit in her mouth and took a sip of her tea. “Mrs. Annesley said Kitty and Lydia are taking her lessons very well and she thanks you for allowing her to spend some time with the young Bennet girls. Mr. Bennet has been very generous and gave her a ten-pound note in gratitude.”
Ten pounds. That sounds familiar. Darcy’s memory flashed once again to the day of his injury. He remembered holding the disfigured Lizzy in his arms and finding her attractive even then. He thought her a servant at one time and still found her irresistible. Even when a monster, even when I thought her a servant, I still fell in love with her.
“I will try, sweetling. I will ask and she may deny me, or she may not because she cannot refuse a dance and still hate me, but I will call on her with you tomorrow and ask her to dance with me.” He sighed. He took his seat and sipped his tea with his sister. “I will need to write to Richard about Wickham. He might not be able to take another holiday so soon after his last one but perhaps he can find some business with the militia here and get Wickham transferred somewhere else. Maybe some place cold and desolate.” They laughed.
“I have a feeling Wickham will welcome it after Aunt Philips is through with him. She adores me, you know. She told me that I was responsible for helping Kitty and Lydia act like proper ladies and she said I had the best manners she had ever seen. Who would have thought Mrs. Younge’s poking me with her stick at every slouch and forgetting to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ would reward me at the end?” They heartily laughed.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy bowed formally, even though his heart was beating as if he had been sprinting across the field.
“Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth curtseyed, avoiding his eyes. She quickly turned and spoke with Georgiana more animatedly.
Darcy closed his eyes to prepare himself to suffer for the next half hour. A sniveling man of the cloth had appeared at his side and he would not cease his speech.
“Oh, Mr. Darcy, Miss Darcy, it is such a pleasure to meet you,” the man continued his speech
. “I last saw Lady Catherine and her most graceful daughter, Miss de Bourgh, four days and two hours ago, and they were in most excellent health. Lady Catherine was most insistent that I should travel to my cousin’s home during the early morning where the roads are better kept and of course Rosings has no bad roads, as all of them are kept most excellent and…” Mr. Collins blabbered on and on.
“Thank you, Mr. Collins, that is quite sufficient.” Mr. Bennet interrupted. “Mr. Darcy, it is a pleasure to see you again. I know we have met only a couple of times, at Lucas Lodge and at the officers’ dinner, and we have not had a chance to speak much,” The elderly man noted the frustration in the young man’s eyes as his very distant cousin extolled Lady Catherine’s manners, property, lineage, and the cost of her chimneypiece without taking a breath. “If you are available, will you spend a little bit of time with me in my study before you return to Netherfield? I understand you have a large estate and I would like to ask you some questions.”
“But of course, Mr. Bennet.” Darcy smiled softly. He liked Mr. Bennet, who was intelligent and quick-witted like Lizzy. “It would be my honor.”
From the corner of his eyes, he could see Elizabeth startle at his response. Does she think of me so arrogant that I would refuse her father’s request? Damn it, Lizzy! Face me and speak to me. I would do anything for you.
“Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy called out. “I see that Bingley is desiring to take a walk through the gardens. Would you mind walking out with me to chaperone them? Georgiana had wished to spend some time on the pianoforte with Miss Mary today and I had promised to do my share in chaperoning duties.” He flashed a smile, hoping she would not deny him in front of an audience.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes in his full view. “Yes, Mr. Darcy. I would love to walk and chaperone my sister with you.” She quietly huffed. “You are wicked.” She whispered when standing next to him.