by Sarwah Creed
“Sure, my little munchkin. I haven’t been a good mommy, lately, have I? I’ve been thinking only of myself.”
“Is it because of Daddy?”
Mommy and Daddy were always shouting at each other lately and I think that was why she was sad sometimes.
“Yes. Sometimes mommies and daddies don’t get along. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other. But they just…fight sometimes. Like you and your brother.”
I shook my head as we went to my room. “No. Me and James never fight. We’re brothers.”
She laughed, “In time you’ll find that you will fight. That things will change, but you’re too young to understand that now, Trent.”
I hated when she told me that I was wrong and treated me like a little kid, so I took my hand from hers. “I’m four. I’m not a little boy anymore.”
She laughed. “Of course, not! Now, do you want me to read a story before you go to bed?”
I was just about to tell her yes, when she gasped. “Oh, Trent, I’m so sorry, it’s too late. It’s nearly nine, now. How time flies. I’ll tell you what, tomorrow I’ll spend all morning with you and then we’ll read a book then. Deal?”
I tucked my hand against my hip so she couldn’t take it again. Still, I wanted so much to spend time with her that I nodded my head. “Deal.”
She smiled as I climbed into bed. I didn’t want to be alone but as soon as James and I turned two, we were given our own rooms and separated. I’d just told her that I was a big boy. I couldn’t tell her that I wanted to share with James again.
“Ok, Mommy. Can I have a kiss now?”
She stroked my hair as I laid facing her. Mommy was the most beautiful woman that I knew, her long red hair and fiery green eyes made her magical. She had a smile that made me smile every time I saw it.
She bent down and kissed me on the forehead. I didn’t hear what she said after that. I felt as if I’d eaten all the chocolate out of the candy store, filled with overstuffed glee. I could hear her turn off the light as I closed my eyes. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but I didn’t care. Mommy gave me a goodnight kiss for the first time in too long.
I didn’t want to relive the nightmare that happened next. I wanted to be sheltered from that dark moment. I opened my eyes immediately because I’d replayed the events that took place so many times, and after all these years I shouldn’t even remember what happened that night. I should fucking get over it and just get on with my life. As if it was so fucking easy to do.
I sat up in my bed in a cold sweat. In the first few years after that night, I would have the same nightmare, and when I woke up, I would kick and scream like a crazy child. I was bigger and stronger, and I hated the idea of it never fucking going away and still being fresh in my mind as if it was only yesterday. I didn’t know what I hated more, me for reliving it most of the nights or for the nightmare being of my life.
I walked to the kitchen because I needed a drink. The same bottle of whiskey that I hid earlier. I needed a little more to knock me back out. I needed something not to make me remember, but simply to forget. I walked to the cabinet in the kitchen, where the plates were and where we hid our secret bottle and the memory of the man that I hated most of all flashed in my mind; even if he was our own flesh and blood.
James called him Dad.
I just called him evil.
Chapter Two
It had been one messed up weekend. I spent most of it drinking, and it just made me feel worse; all agitated and frustrated but every time I started to sobere up a little, I would drink a little more. I couldn’t remember the last time that I felt this frustrated. Being in class should have been a welcome distraction; it kept me from reliving the past and living in the present. It didn’t help that James left that night, and since then he hadn’t been back to our suite. He hadn't even bothered to tell me that he’d left, or when he was coming back.
Today, I went to my classes alone because this was the only day that both James and I didn’t have the same classes, because we were in different groups for subjects like math. A few of our classes were based on our abilities and James was far ahead of me, because he tended to study more.
Friday night was weird, and what was even stranger was that James left for the weekend without telling me. The idea that James and I could be drifting apart bothered me because we never had a difference of opinion, but I told myself that I was overreacting, thinking like that. I felt as if I was being extremely fucking paranoid, the sorrows of drinking too much. The paranoia comes in and messes with your head too much. I wanted someone, anyone, to distract me. As I looked around, the only people I found were both Claire and Sarah, who were like dogs with their tongues out, ready to fulfill my every need. Usually, I would have them entertain me in the bathroom between classes. One would have their tits out, and the other would be on their knees sucking my cock as if their life depended on it. Today, I wasn’t in the fucking mood.
They made it clear that they didn’t want Vicki to win, even though she already had. They couldn’t handle the competition; maybe they knew that once we had a taste of her sweet pussy, we wouldn’t want theirs anymore.
They were right.
But not only for that reason. They had no idea how special Vicki was, and I had to keep it a secret from them. If they knew, then they would jump in and take charge. They seemed to think that they owned us; they thought that they were using reverse psychology or something. They didn’t have a clue what we’d been through or how dysfunctional our family was. If they knew then they wouldn’t bother trying to please us. They would run as far away from us as possible.
“Mr. Trent Hawk, are you listening to a word that I’m saying?” Mr. Randall asked with his eyebrow raised as if that would scare me.
I stood up and shouted a response at him as if this was a military academy. “No.”
Then I took a bow and started to walk out of the room. I could hear him mumbling in the background, but I had something more important to do. Vicki should have been in class today, but she hadn’t shown up.
I heard them in the hallway gossiping. The one thing that every student, and even the teachers, were guaranteed to do in this fucking place was gossip.
I headed out of the classroom with one goal in mind: to find Vicki.
It was as if I needed to have her around, even though both James and I didn’t know what we were going to do with her. I knew that I had to get to her and let her know what kind of monster her dad was. I mean, she knew because of the outburst in the gym when he’d said, ‘she’s your sister’, but it was more than that, more than just what he’d said that night. It was our whole lives.
Everyone in the academy thought that she was an orphan. They didn’t know that her dad was alive. Judging by the expression on her face Friday night, neither had she.
My phone buzzed, and I was tempted to ignore the call, thinking that it was most likely from Mr. Randall snitching on me, telling my dearest stepfather about me leaving class. But then I shook my head at the idea of it. I’d only left class, and there was no way that Mr. Randall would stop teaching his precious math class to make a phone call.
I didn’t recognize the number, and it wasn’t in my contacts, which made me even more curious as I accepted the call.
“Trent, is that you?”
I was speechless when I heard her voice on the other end of the phone. The only person I knew that had a voice that could stop me dead in my tracks, was Vicki.
“It’s me, Vicki. Vicki Harris.”
Her voice sent a shiver of anticipation down my spine. I’d been confused all weekend. I’d gone from plotting how to break her for days, ever since her dad wrecked our world, to wanting to save her, and back to wanting to break her. I needed a plan, but I came up blank every time, and besides, she hadn’t come to class, so I’d kind of figured maybe she’d left. I was almost sure that she was gone, I would run far away from here if I found out that Hawk was my dad.
“Do you
remember me?”
Was she kidding? It’d only been a few days since I last saw her, touched her, pleasured her. I’d fucked her. I didn’t have that bad a memory that I would forget her that quickly.
“Yes.” I wanted to say more, but I was curious as to why she was calling me, especially at this time of day.
“So, how you been?” She asked, and I could hear the nervousness in her voice. She had no idea what to say.
“Fine.” But then I realized that I needed to encourage her to say more, so I carried on. “Things have been good. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m not feeling that great, so I wasn’t able to go to class today. I just wanted you to know, in case you noticed that I wasn’t in class. I didn’t want you to think that I’d left or gone back home. Then again, I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to.”
I thought that there was something wrong with her voice. She was talking too much, as if she was nervous about something, and I laughed at the idea that I could forget her so quickly after that night. She didn’t know me at all, physically partially from the night in the gym, but emotionally, we were both from different worlds.
“I noticed.”
I wondered what he’d said to her. I didn’t talk to Hawk unless I had to, and after what happened with Vicki, I knew that any conversation with him would result in one of two things happening; him making sure that we go nowhere near her or he would send her away. It wouldn’t be the first time that he’d done it, and I was sure that it wouldn’t be the last.
“So, are you coming back? You are coming back, aren’t you?”
I wanted her to think that I was concerned, and part of me was, but the other part just kept thinking of the plan that I was putting together and thinking that at this rate, the whole thing was probably over before it had even begun. We needed something to keep us entertained, especially seeing as this was our last year at the academy.
“Yeah, don’t worry I’m feeling much better. I’m coming back to class tomorrow hopefully, and I feel kind of bad asking you, but…. I really have no one else to ask. I have no friends, not here at the academy or anywhere else, at the moment. Whenever I call my friends, I’m lucky if they pick up, and I haven’t even been here that long, and already they’ve forgotten about me,” she sighed.
She then dismissed her sad statement by saying, “Anyway, can you tell me today’s homework? I could ask Hawk, but I haven’t seen him. Not that I really want to talk to him right now, anyway. But yeah, I was already behind to begin with, and a day missed of classes means that I’m even more behind. Can you help a girl out?”
Before I could answer she carried on without stopping to catch her breath. “That night with you guys was the best night of my life, but then, well, you know what happened…”
She didn’t need to explain about that night, but what happened after I was curious about, but that was a discussion that we would have in person, not on the phone.
“Vicki. It’s fine. I’ll help you catch up with your homework.”
There was just one fucking problem with that; it was easier said than done. Hawk had let his dirty little secret out, and there was no way that he was going to get away with it. My mom would find out that he kept this from her, one way or another. If she didn’t know already, I would make sure that Mom knew, even if I had to tell her myself and, finally, she would leave him for fucking good. Vicki would help me in ways that I hadn’t even dreamed of, and I didn’t even have to touch her again to get what I needed, but I would anyway. I’d do it just to piss Hawk off.
***
Another night and James was nowhere to be seen. It had been three days since we spoke about Hawk and if I didn’t know any better, I would think that he was avoiding me. Who was I kidding? He didn’t pick up his phone if I called and hadn’t replied to any of my texts. Of course, he was avoiding me.
I was in our suite, wondering if he’d ever answer me when I heard someone at the door.
“Where’ve you been?” I asked James as he walked in.
He looked as if he had a hangover or had been up all night fucking. Either way, he looked a mess. I’d been a bit distracted myself, it was our final year of high school and there was tons of studying to be done. Having privileges only got us so far; we had to work for our grades, contrary to popular belief that we were just given the grades and were born naturally intelligent. That rumor started a long time, and we didn’t want to correct it, so we went along with it. But behind closed doors we were studying for whatever exam was thrown our way, when everyone assumed we were actually sleeping.
“With Claire,” he blurted out in an offhand way.
I shot a look of annoyance at him, “What? Why? You didn’t fuck her, did you?”
He shook his head, “Don't worry your pretty little head, little bro’. I didn’t tell Claire about Vicki being our stepsister. She just wanted to know if she was better than Vicki, and I told her that I’d forgotten what she was like…”
God, my brother, was a fucking slut at times. I didn’t want to know the details, so I just put my hand up to stop him from boring me. He had the concentration of a five-year-old at times. I’d been studying and trying to get my own back at Hawk, and James had been fucking Claire every night. I wasn’t fucking interested in any other girl, now that I’d had a taste of Vicki, but my brother, on the other hand, wasn’t the commitment type.
“So, you’ve given up on Vicki already?”
He choked. “What are we married to her now? I mean, what the fuck bro? It’s as if I don’t know you anymore. We bang the new girl and rule the halls. That’s what we’ve been doing, and that’s what we’ll continue to do until we go to the university. We’ll repeat the same shit there, that we’ve been doing here. And yes, I like fucking Claire, but I’m not going to deny it or pretend that one taste of Vicki has made me forget the one girl that I’ve been banging for over a year.”
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t like his fucking attitude.
“Do you really think that once we leave this place that we’ll go off to the university and everyone will bow down at our feet as freshmen? We’ll be the little fish in one giant pond, James. Has Claire’s pussy clouded any sense that you had in your head?” I retorted, wondering if he was my twin or some twit that had wandered into our suite accidentally.
“Yes.” He didn’t confirm which one of the questions he was replying to, but I had a feeling that he was getting as fed up with me as I was with him. I shook my head.
“Trent, we’re loaded. Money fucking talks. Money gets you whatever you want, whenever you want it. Without it, you’re fucking nothing, and I’m not nothing. Which is why you should forget your fucking obsession with Hawk. If they get divorced, we’re the ones that will suffer because whatever money Mom has left will be divided in the proceedings and we’ll be left with hardly anything, so we’d suffer, not him.”
I had more studying to do and class first thing in the morning and so did he. For once, I didn’t want him to go to the same class as me. I needed to be as far away from my brother as possible, because he was a reflection of what I used to be until I had Vicki that night. Someone who thought that they had the world at their feet. knew as soon as we left these walls, that our lives wouldn’t be the same.
James didn’t seem to get that, well not yet.
That was the part that scared me, he thought that he was king of the world, but we were only kings of the academy, and as soon as we left, our status and privileges would be gone. And we would have to survive like everyone else.
I shook my head as I left the room, dying for some fresh air. I had to get out, in case I said something that I would regret. I grabbed my shoes, feeling nothing but pity for him as my heart raced out of control at the idea of pitying the person that I used to be.
He didn’t try to stop me, and he couldn’t, as I slammed the door to our suite, he shut his bedroom door at the same time.
That was his way of telling me not to contact him once I cam
e back. This wasn’t our first fight, and I doubted that it would be our last, but tonight we weren’t the twins that didn’t have disagreements. I felt a chill run down my spine as I got outside wondering if this would be the first of many disagreements that would lead to us falling apart.
I did what I usually did in circumstances like this, I picked up the phone and tried to call Mom. She didn’t pick up, she never did, and there was no use in trying, but I had to try. We were her sons; she knew that once. She’d loved us once. Hawk was the one that turned her against us. Maybe they were together now, and he was the reason why she never picked up the phone. Maybe he’d told Mom about our latest indiscretion, and that was why she wouldn’t speak to me right now. She was ashamed of us.
Fuck, who was I kidding? There was always a good reason for her not to call, let alone pick up. A million little reasons that I made up in my head. I didn’t feel like going out for a walk anymore. All of a sudden, I felt weak from the fight that I had with James and acknowledging that Mom wanted nothing to do with us anymore.
I’d planned to tell James that Vicki called me, but then we’d argued, and I hadn’t got the chance to. When the fuck did we become the type of brothers that argued, the guys that fucking didn’t get along because one wanted a girl and the other didn’t care what happened to her?
But Vicki wasn’t just any girl, she was our stepsister.
Maybe that was the difference this time, the fact that there was a connection to us, which wasn’t like any other. No, having her as a stepsister should have kept me away, not brought me closer to her. Yet, I couldn’t get her off my mind.
I wasn’t much of a daydreamer, but I knew that I had to study. I just didn’t feel like it. Something that I used to do easily, had suddenly become a burdensome chore. I decided to go to the suite and wait for James to cool off; I wanted us to be the way we used to be, brothers, twins, inseparable. Maybe Vicki was the problem rather than the solution?