by R. J. Blain
I would have burned the world for Jake when I’d believed him dead and gone back then, but those days were over. He’d embraced the work I couldn’t do and kept secrets when I proved to be a less than ideal wife and not the mate I was supposed to be.
That hurt my fox most of all, and her heartbroken cries echoed in my head.
My ma didn’t say a word, and neither did I. She drove with the gun on her lap, easy enough pickings if I decided to make a grab for the weapon.
I didn’t.
My fox understood and didn’t question my choice.
She’d lost her reason to fight, too.
Ma took me to the woods to a rundown trailer, and I smelled the old blood and decay long before we reached it. With the gun still pointed at me, she gestured to the battered door. “I hope you’ve said your prayers.”
I breathed in deep, and beneath the blood and decay, the one scent I didn’t want reaching my nose did.
My pa was inside, and I didn’t need to see him to understand his fate. “You killed Pa.”
“You sound so certain. I always knew you were a little too smart for your own good. I suppose this is the perfect sort of place to make bodies disappear for a while, isn’t it? Well, it’s time you paid the piper. If you’d been a better human, we wouldn’t be here. But no. You had to be one of those sick animals that just looks like a human. I should have killed you the moment we figured out what you were, but no. You charmed us both. What harm could a little baby do? We should have known better. We thought we could make you human. We were wrong. And he refused to believe in your sin even at the end. You infected him.”
I’d done worse than just infect Ma and Pa with my nature; I’d influenced Jake as well, and I’d left when he couldn’t give me what my tainted heart had wanted most of all.
Ma would kill me like she’d killed Pa, and I deserved it.
“Tell me why first.”
Ma narrowed her eyes. “I got offered money to get rid of you and any of the evidence associated with your death. Your pa wanted to bring you home for a while. That part of what I texted you was true. I just changed his plans is all. Now you’ll get to visit for a long time. You two can rest together.” Ma pointed the gun at my leg, steadied the weapon, and squeezed the trigger.
The fox in me barked and chittered in my head, and her fury flared. Before I could comprehend more than the flash of pain in my leg, the beast took over.
She’d done so once before in England, and she’d battled for our survival.
Those enemies hadn’t been family, but the fox in me didn’t care.
Ma had killed Pa, and if I let her, she’d kill me, too.
Terror didn’t belong in the den, and we could die another day.
One of us wouldn’t be walking away alive, and the fox didn’t want us to be the one to fall.
Not like this.
Rather than voice her rage, she made use of our good leg and lunged for my ma, groping for the gun. A second shot went off, and I yelped at the thump. I couldn’t even tell where I’d been hit.
It didn’t matter.
She fired several more rounds before the fox got a hold of a weapon and closed my fingers around the grip.
Long years of training took over, and my body moved without any intervention from me. The first second of possessing her firearm, I took aim at my Ma’s temple. The next, I stabilized the weapon, made certain of my aim, and I fired.
We collapsed onto the cold, hard ground.
I breathed. Ma didn’t.
I dropped the weapon, turned to the trailer, and crawled there, trailing blood in my wake. I couldn’t tell where I’d been shot; the shock numbed my body, and it wouldn’t be long until I lost the ability to even crawl.
Before I lost the war I waged against my own body, I needed to see what she’d done to my pa.
The stench of death promised there’d be no happy ending for any of us, but until I confirmed with my own eyes, I refused to believe. My hand shook, but I caught hold of the door’s latched and opened it.
Pa rested a few feet inside, and three entry holes in the skull promised he hadn’t suffered long. According to the skin color and state of his body, he hadn’t been dead for more than a few hours. My fox’s grief joined with my own, and I made it the few feet to his body, sighed, and slumped beside my pa, regretting everything in my life that had led to that moment, leaving me alone in a world that no longer wanted me in it.
By all rights, I should have died. In either a cruel twist of fate or the world determined to prove life wasn’t fair, a wolf found me before I could make a permanent escape from my misery. I’d never seen her before, but my nose told the truth.
The wolf wore a woman’s body, and she kept me alive through the unfair usage of bandages and basic medical treatment. Whoever she was, she knew her way around field treatments, and by the time she finished with me, I’d come out on the other side of recovering with a few more scars to show for the latest turn my life had taken.
Instead of taking me to a hospital, she dumped me into the back of an SUV that had seen better days, buckled me in, and headed west.
“Are you going to ask who I am, where I’m taking you, why I’m taking you, or how I found you?” she asked.
Her amusement intrigued my fox. It annoyed me.
I lacked the strength to care.
“Unless you’re planning on shooting me and dumping me in a ditch somewhere, why waste the effort?”
“I see you’re going to be a tough nut to crack. Here’s the deal, princess. You know I’m not human. I caught you sniffing at me when I got close, and you’re married to someone in a pack, and us Fenerec don’t keep that secret long once marriage is involved. As such, let’s get down to the chase. We’ve got a bit of a system we use to communicate with each other, and while I’m not in a pack right now, I pay attention. Last night, two things happened. One, the black market had a hit put out for you—the lethal kind, which landed you in that mess at that trailer. Good job on not dying, by the way. You’re worth a cool two million dead right now, and I enjoy when I can stick it to the assholes who decide to go the murder route. Well, I’m not the only one who noticed that kill order. Your husband’s pack put out word you were MIA, that you’d been notified you’d be returning to FBI duty, and that you’d bailed town. Fenerec are damned stupid sometimes, and in some misguided effort to try to make sure you get back to where you belong, they laid out the situation in a fairly frank manner. They benched you for too long, and you’d found your limit on being benched, so you decided you’re done. And they tried to put you back on the roster without your consent, so they don’t have a foot to stand on, since you’re past the medical leave limitations and had tendered your resignation.”
“Can’t postpone that one, can they?” I asked, allowing my bitterness to enter my tone.
“No, they can’t. Add in how the Alphas of the pack are disputing your status as mated with your mate, and it’s quite the problem. They’re idiots. Male wolves don’t bring a female into their homes without being invested, and the files say you were living with him and married to him, so he’s invested. I don’t know or care about that, frankly. I just don’t like seeing people get knocked off because they’re inconvenient.”
Inconvenient was one way to put it. “Well, he came home at night smelling of other women, and that was that. I had enough, so I left. Since they care about scents that much, he can just go fuck himself and like it.”
“Well, I’d be pretty pissed over that, too. I’m just telling you he’s going to try to get you back once he gets his head out of his ass. That’s what Fenerec males do.”
“Sounds like a him problem more than it is a me problem. I’m out.”
“Except there is an alert out on you, and they’re trying to say you’re due to go back to duty in a week. The note does say you are unaware of the return date or the assignment, so you’re mostly covered there, but you’ll face some sort of dereliction of duty charge. They’ll mostly drop it
, but you’ll get a token slap on the wrist. So, you’re pretty banged up, you’ve left more blood than most can survive in that trailer with the bodies, and the only clues they’re getting out of me are my shoe size, as I’ve already destroyed the shoes. If you leave it alone, you’ll be flagged as presumed dead with your body taken. Once the FBI starts to move on your murder, the bounty will disappear out of the system, and they won’t know if it’s because the kill was confirmed or if the asshole behind it doesn’t want to get caught. That depends on how long it takes for the bounty to be dropped.”
“Lovely.”
“It’s not all bad. I’m a rogue, and I like the underdog. We’ll team up until you can settle in whatever life you want. If that wolf of yours hadn’t allowed himself to be pressured by his Alphas, he wouldn’t be in the mess he’s in now, so let him suffer a while. No skin off your back. And if the Alphas are right, next year, he’ll be back on the market to be mated.”
I scowled at the thought of Jake pursuing other women.
I’d been wrong before, and my nose hadn’t lied about the women. I just didn’t know why he’d smelled of them all the time. Every time I’d asked, he hadn’t given me an answer. “And if they’re wrong?”
“Once he gets over himself and figures out Alphas can get it wrong, he’ll probably chase you to the ends of the Earth until he somehow gets you back where he thinks you belong.” The woman shrugged. “That’s just a guess, of course. But that’s what most Fenerec males would do. I don’t know what’ll happen if they assume you’re dead. I expect he’ll spend the rest of his time hunting revenge, and then there’ll be mass confusion when he’s not ready to mate again anytime soon, which will make him doubt you’re dead. That will be a problem, although it’s sometimes years before a Fenerec pursues a mate once theirs dies.”
“Why are you being so helpful?”
“I can. No other reason. As I said, I like the underdog.”
“Fox.”
“What?”
“I’m a fox. I’m not a wolf. I turn into a fox.”
The wolf stared at me as though I’d grown a second head. “And they’re fussing because they are expecting you to behave like a wolf when you’re not?”
I shrugged. “My fox wants the pack Jake has, but I’m not good enough.”
The woman flinched. “Right. They’re purists. Out west, there are packs who’ll take just about anyone, but over on this coast, they’re purists. If it doesn’t look like them, smell like them, and act just like them, it’s not welcome in the pack. That’s part of why I left the packs and went on my own. Now I work as a mercenary—or I do my own thing when the law doesn’t work quite right. As a bounty hunter or what have you. I do what’s needed. I just didn’t like somebody trying to off some former FBI agent who hadn’t done anything wrong, so I became involved.”
I could understand that. It was something I’d do. “Well, thanks for that. I think.”
“You’re welcome. The note said you’re probably depressed and possibly suicidal, to add to the fun. I thought you should know.”
I shrugged, as I didn’t see a point in denying it, especially considering the death of my pa.
My ma could rot in hell for all I cared.
Still, admitting the truth might help. Eventually. Or at least keep me out of the deep end long enough to get my feet under me and figure out what to do with the rest of my life.
My ma had wanted me to die, so I’d keep on going to spite her for what she’d done to me and my pa. I could only hope the resentment would last long enough for the grief of the ruins of the rest of my life to wear down to something I could shoulder. “If I wasn’t before, I am now.”
“Yeah. I’m not surprised. As I said, they made quite the file on you and put it on the network last night. A few Alphas from out west have already inquired about obstruction.”
“Obstruction?”
“Regarding why the Alphas are interfering with a pack member’s choice of mate. Hold this close to your sleeve, because your mate will ultimately need to get his head out of his ass unless you decide to go hide out in the west, but that’s an option for you. If you need to go somewhere, the packs feud enough you can probably find a home out in the west without your husband’s pack being the wiser for it.”
“Why are you telling me this? I don’t understand.”
“I really don’t like assholes, and these Alphas of your husband’s seem like assholes.”
“Well, they’re his parents.”
“Ah. That explains things. Asshole Alphas would only want perfection for their son, and they must have decided you’re not it. Typical.” The woman pulled over at a rest stop, got into the back with me, and took hold of my hand, bringing my wrist to her nose. “I smell male wolf. Sure, I have to put my nose to you to get it, but it’s there. You’ve been doing something with a male wolf.”
“Well, not recently,” I muttered.
I’d found ways to keep myself busy or feigned sleep when Jake had been home to avoid him and all of the problems he currently represented in my life.
The past few months had been hard.
“That’s just more evidence you’re bonded to a wolf. It’s not your fault they’re too fixated on whatever the fuck it is they want than with working on the reality of your situation. And if you’re not a wolf, I don’t know why you’re expected to fall in line with the wolves and the Normals they normally mate with.”
That was a good question, one I didn’t have any answers to. “Well, he made his stance clear, coming home smelling like other women all the time.”
“Well, you’re just as jealous as any wolf, that’s for sure. For all you know, those women could have been co-workers, mates of his pack members, or part of his current assignments, whatever those might be.”
“Hell if I know. He did not see fit to keep me up-to-date with his current affairs, and if he decided to cheat, that’s his problem and not mine.”
“Fenerec don’t cheat.”
“If you think I’m going to believe that, you’re wrong. Sure, I didn’t smell sex, but that’s nothing a shower and some care can’t fix.”
“You’re right. That’s fair. I won’t try to convince you otherwise. I don’t believe he would cheat, but he’s your mate, and that is a battle you’ll have to fight or not as you want. Were you aware of what he is before you married him?”
“No.” I shrugged. “I hadn’t known I was a fox before marrying him, so we’re even.”
“No, you’re not. When I decided I would help you, I decided I’d do my best to make sure you get out of this situation alive and better than when you entered it. So, when you decide what you want, tell me, and I’ll do my best to make it happen. I’m just a rogue, so I can’t do as much as I’d like, but if you want to leave him in your dust and become an unsolved mystery, that is something I can help you with.”
I could only think of one thing I wanted: to find those who’d killed my pa and rid the Earth of them. “That man in the trailer was my pa, and my ma killed him before trying to kill me. I want the assholes who hired my ma to kill my pa, and I want to be the one who spills their blood. The rest isn’t important.”
“Now that’s up my alley. If that’s what you want, we’ll team up and work for that. And after?”
“I don’t care about the after. What’s your name?”
“I’m Amelia.”
“Karma.” I drew in a steadying breath. “Thank you.”
“Glad to help. Tonight, we’re going to hit up a campground. I have an RV and a truck there, so that’ll be our first stop. I’ll look on my networks, see what I can find about whoever put out the hit, and we’ll make plans. If revenge is what you want, then revenge is what you’ll get, for there’s nothing a wolf loves more than a good hunt.” Amelia’s smile possessed a sharp edge. “It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed a good hunt.”
Hunting wouldn’t change the past, but it would give me and my fox purpose, and killing those who had hurt us was someth
ing she understood and embraced without remorse.
I hoped I might one day be able to follow her example.
Amelia’s RV needed a huge truck to pull it, and I marveled at the size of the damned thing. Thanks to my new collection of gunshot wounds, I could barely hobble, although Amelia didn’t resort to carrying me. She did keep a firm grip on my arm to make sure I stayed upright on my sole functional leg. In an effort to forget about how helpless I’d become, I asked, “How do you even move that?”
The Fenerec laughed. “It’s a fifth wheel, so it’s easier to move than it looks. But it’s a large RV. It’s a lot easier for a rogue like me to hide using one of these babies. I change campgrounds every two or three weeks. I moved here two days ago. You got lucky. Had the hit for you been put out much earlier, I wouldn’t have been in position to do anything.”
“How do you deal with two vehicles?”
“That’s simple. I tow this behind the RV. Some states don’t allow double towing, so when that happens, I just ditch the second vehicle and go with just my truck for a while or pay somebody to drive for me. When I’m moved to the new campground, I just tow the SUV behind the truck. This hop was only five hours, so I paid somebody to drive me back to my SUV and brought it over rather that tow it. I needed the socialization anyway. If we stick together a while, you can help drive.”
I pointed at the truck. “Can I drive that?”
“You sure can.”
“I’m in.”
“My truck is an evil seductress. She’s also an equal opportunist, so she’s happy to seduce you into driving her.”
It hurt to realize I could still smile over little things like a seductress of a truck. “How old is she?”
“She’s three years old. She’s got a gas engine in her, which is her only true flaw, but I want to replace my truck every seven to ten years to keep up with my RV, and if I’d gotten a diesel, I would feel a lot worse about that. When I earn enough from my side jobs, I sell off the old stuff and replace it with new stuff.”