by Jamie Knight
I knew right then that I was still into Marvin and there was no denying it. All I could do is try to remain reserved and professional and not let him know my true feelings. I would have to keep holding them in, silently.
A bit of a sniffle formed when my eyes began to water. I dusted it away. And then he did it; he leaned over and ever so gently lifted my chin with his fingers. Oh God, I thought I might die. But I bristled instead.
How would this look? We were in public. There were other parents.
“Oh sorry, Olivia. I didn’t mean to alarm you. You just look so glum all of a sudden.”
“Oh no, no. I am having a great time. Right Kylie? We’re having fun?”
“Yes Ms. Olivia. So, I told Sophie that Gremlins can’t be under the bed because the housekeeper vacuums under there. Right, daddy?”
“Hah, right Kylie,” Marvin responded. “I uh, told her that once.”
“Right. I gathered. Good explanation,” I said, and I smiled.
It suddenly occurred to me that Marvin and I had spent so many dates having ice cream in high school. We would go to Billy T’s every Wednesday if he wasn’t away, after practice or a game. I wondered if he remembered. He had to be remembering now, just like I was.
I stared at his curly brown hair as he wiped dripping sundae off Kylie’s shirt. I could see us right back there as if it was happening all over again. It was a pretty standard routine. He would always give me his letterman jacket to wear because it I was always cold and ice cream would send me over the edge, into chills and goosebumps on my arms.
Of course, it wasn’t only because of the cold, but because I loved the thrill of Marvin’s arm around me and the thought of what he would do to me later. When he would finger me in his car or take me to his dad’s house if he wasn’t home and lay me on the bed and fuck me with his big cock.
All the girls would look at me with such jealousy at Billy T’s, because I was with Marvin. It was great. I always ordered the same thing too, either a root beer float or a vanilla and cookie dough smash.
He used to be so confused by that – the smash. He’d say it made no sense that you took a perfectly good scoop of fresh ice cream, nice and round and ready to eat, and you smashed it all up and flattened it just to add cookie dough! Why would you not just order ready-made cookie dough ice cream?
He had such a point, but it was all the rage at the time, and I think I got it just to hear him go on and on about how much the smashing bothered him. He was always rather unwavering when it came to his diet choices at Billy T’s. Sometimes he would order a float, but mostly either one scoop of vanilla or one scoop of coffee – like he was having today.
I was remembering the time we grabbed a corner booth and I was eating my smashed up vanilla cookie dough when he slid down the end of the booth towards me and said, “Can I have a bite?”
I remember thinking that it was strange. He never wanted to share, but I lifted my spoon and put it in his mouth and just as I did, he put his hand under my thong and sweat pants. He was fingering me right there in Billy T’s. I remember looking right at greasy haired Jenny Givens while having an orgasm under the table and she never knew. It was so perfect.
I pretended like the ice scream was so good as I licked the spoon and groaned a little. I wiggled around under the table as he stuck his finger in and out of my pussy hole and then played with my clit.
Come to think of it, maybe Jenny did know. But that’s even better. She had such a thing for Marvin back then, but he was all mine. And my pussy was all his to take whenever he wanted, including in public when I was eating ice cream.
Just then Marvin brock my trance.
“Olivia, I have a bit of a confession; I’ve been a bit of a jerk.”
“Noooo,” I said sarcastically and laughed.
“No, I have, and you’ve been great,” he insisted.
“I know,” I told him, still joking. “You haven’t been a bit of a jerk. You’ve been a big giant jerk.”
“You’re right,” he said, taking me more seriously than I’d intended. “I need to stop acting out like I’m some jerk-off teenager. It almost affected my daughter’s education and it may still get me kicked off the team. Anyway, I apologize. Can we agree to simply start fresh for the good of my daughter?”
I noticed he really was serious, so I backed off.
“Of course, I never looked at it any other way,” I assured him. “You know, seeing that you actually have a heart, while watching you today with your precious munchkin – it’s nice. You should do these kinds of outings with her more often. But truly, don’t sweat it. Parents have the toughest job in the world – I get it. I am there to simply facilitate the process and keep you in the loop if there are issues pertaining to school.”
“Thank you, but I did need to apologize. And one more thing,” he added. “I am so sorry for not listening to you enough during the phone call and meeting. You have just been doing a great job with Kylie.”
“Again, there is no need, but fine, I will accept your apology if you buy me another ice cream at some point.”
That was bold of me, but I couldn’t resist. He looked so hot when he apologized and graveled, begging for my forgiveness.
“Hah, it’s a deal,” he laughed. “A smash up with cookie dough or a root beer float, fingers not included.”
I almost died. My face must have turned eight different shades of cranberry. He remembered. Of course he remembered. Fuck. He remembered.
I slipped my phone out of my purse under the table and while he wasn’t looking, I texted Roxanne: Ice cream with Marvin and his daughter. He remembered.
I sent it and waited for the ding of her text back while I scooped a final bit of ice cream into my mouth and let Kylie continue her story. Just as she started talking about what her Halloween costume should be, I heard the ding. I looked down and saw, Smashed up vanilla and cookie dough and public fingering.
Holy shit.
Did he recall all of that?
I sent a smiley emoji back and giggled. Marvin looked at the phone in my hand and seemed to acknowledge my private secret exchange with Roxanne, but he didn’t dare ask.
Kylie smiled and truly looked happier than she had in a long time. I thought the height of her happiness was when Marvin showed up to her open house but now she looked even happier.
With that, Marvin got up to end this awesome afternoon. I was sad, not only because this little trip down memory lane was over but also that I would have to soon be alone at home and left to confront my feelings of being alone.
I shivered as I got the chills. And it wasn’t from eating ice cream. Marvin threw his jacket over my shoulders as we walked out and I really thought I might melt, right there in the ice cream place, the one so similar to a haunt we called “our favorite place” so many years earlier. And with his jacket on me, just like back then.
“Thanks. Ice cream always gives me the chills.”
“I know.”
I had to admit – it was nice to be around someone who knew me. Who got me. Who understood what made me tick, if only a little too well, because I had known him for so long. And because we had been madly in love with each other, way back when.
We smiled and continued walking out slowly, Kylie dragging on her daddy’s heels. I wasn’t sure any of us wanted this moment to be over.
But it wasn’t real, and I knew it had to end, as did Marvin.
Sure, we had loved each other once. But that was a long time ago. Things had been off between us for far longer than they had ever been on.
I was so over him.
Wasn’t I?
Chapter 27
Olivia
That night I returned home with such a mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand, I was so happy for Kylie, my student, Kylie, that she would benefit from all the adults in her life meeting on common ground finally. Discord is never healthy for a child, let alone a child embroiled in divorce and turmoil.
For that, I was certainly happy. It bro
ught a professional sense of accomplishment. It was also nice to reminisce a bit, however privately we chose to do it, with Marvin. I felt like he still cherished those memories too and that brought me comfort somehow.
You never know what another former love might remember or think about.
You think things like: Does he remember the sex or the funny moments in public? Does even recall that he used to give me his letterman jacket whenever I was cold or that he fingered me right in Billy T’s?
Okay, maybe that was a very specific question that only I asked about my ex. And now I had my answer. It was sort of crazy and amazing that Marvin had also remembered all those details, just as I had.
As I approached my mailbox so I could check the mail before heading inside, I also found that I was a bit melancholy. It was like a giant case of the post-ice cream blues just hit me hard and I couldn’t shake it.
It seemed normal enough. It had been a very long and draining day. That had to be it, I assured myself.
Also, I knew I had to face reality. Of course, there was the fact that I knew I had no future with Marvin. Sometimes the conflict keeps you in it, immersed in the person still, in a way, but when it’s over, so are the possibilities. And I sort of thought that must be truly what was gnawing at me, what the blues were about.
I grabbed my mail and my phone pinged. It was Roxanne.
“Hi Roxie,” I answered.
“So? Ice cream, fingers? What gives? So?”
“So, nothing. We took his daughter out to ice cream after open class day. It was nice.”
I felt stupid now, for getting so caught up in the moment that I had texted her, and now it was back to life as normal.
“Huh? But ‘he remembered’?”
“Yes, I know. Well, he did. It was sweet. I was just telling you, not implying that it meant anything. It doesn’t. I mean, it doesn’t mean anything, not really. I just had to tell you, that’s all.”
“Oh, okay Liv. Babe, you keep telling yourself that. You are certainly entitled to live any reality you want. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”
Ugh, one of these days I’d love to successfully pull the wool over Roxie’s eyes. But that seemed like an impossible goal. I should have known by now that I couldn’t, so I didn’t know why I even tried.
I looked down at one piece of mail as I walked inside my place.
It was from the Superior Court.
Oh God, I thought, that is never good.
What now?
I am not in the mood.
It was a summons for me to appear in court to testify in a custody hearing regarding Kylie.
Are you kidding me?
Since when does the teacher get called to appear?
Oh, come on!
I knew that Marvin had mentioned it, but I thought he might meant that the court wanted me to submit Kylie’s report card or behavioral notes or something. I couldn’t imagine actually getting called up on stand to testify.
If I didn’t have the blues five minutes ago, then I sure did now. This was the perfect cosmic slap in the face I needed for even entertaining the idea of Marvin and me getting back together again.
He was trouble. All he ever did was cause me trouble. I knew it but I had forgotten it – and that was my number one mistake. I should never, ever forget.
I slammed the door to my place closed and then promptly fell onto my couch.
I was still worked up about it, even though I wanted to get it out of my mind. That was hard to do, when I didn’t really understand what it meant, exactly, though.
I had been called to testify about Kylie’s well-being at school, in Marvin’s case. Would I also be asked about the fitness of the parents? I had no idea what to expect.
I felt kind of used. I didn’t know the extent of their custody situation or this lawsuit. Marvin really should have given me more of a heads up and filled me in.
And truth be told, I was raging now, and my mind was spinning with questions.
Is that why Marvin and David were being so nice, is that why the ice cream, the flirting, the “same page” and putting an appearance in for the open house?
How stupid was I?
I felt totally duped, as if they had tricked me and I fell for it. More importantly, I felt like if this had to happen, if I had no choice and was being subpoenaed on behalf of the defense – I had to meet Candy.
It occurred to me also - Why was Candy suing for full custody and Marvin hadn’t had the good sense to do that?
Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, I thought, Maybe he didn’t want to denigrate Kylie’s mother as his dad had done with him. Maybe he wanted to let her into Kylie’s life as much as could be safe and good for Kylie, and pushing things legally would have caused her to strike back and make tensions too high between them, or else run away and Kylie could risk never seeing her mother again?
I didn’t have any idea, but legally, it didn’t seem that any of this put him in the best position. It had to appear to the judge as if he didn’t want full custody and she did. Unless maybe he had filed a counter-petition or something. Perhaps just by fighting back, he was seen in the eyes of the court as wanting full custody, too.
I didn’t know. I was no legal expert. In the end, though, I wasn’t going to be responsible for ripping this girl, my student, out of her mother’s arms if Candy was indeed a great mom or at least trying to get it together.
How could I trust Marvin’s word about how Candy was without getting her side of the story? Of course, there was the fact that she never showed up and wasn’t in Kylie’s life much at all as far as I could tell, but I didn’t know the reasons behind that. Maybe Marvin prevented it, and that was why she was going to court, to fight for it.
God, why is it that no matter how hard I tried, Marvin was always one step ahead of me? It makes no sense.
Well, I decided, at least I didn’t do anything stupid like get my hopes up that we could be together again. Right?
Chapter 28
Marvin
Kylie and I returned home while sort of still in an ice cream stupor and with that good sense of tired you get after a long day of interaction. Kylie needed a bath and some down time.
Actually, it was more like I was the one who needed a nap and some down time. But that was just because I had had such a good day, for once, instead of all the bad ones that I used to get all in a row.
But just when I thought things might be looking up, there was a knock at the door.
I peered out the keyhole, not knowing whom to expect but half hoping it would somehow be Olivia.
It was not. It was Sasha. She must have been waiting out front for us to get home.
What a stalker. But, since she had a key anyway, I opened the door and let her in.
“What the… heck… are you doing here?” I asked her, correcting my language before I even slipped up, for Kylie’s sake.
“I came to get my money. Why did you leave me hanging?” she immediately yelled, when I answered.
Kylie, sensing immediately that Sasha was in a rage, again, ran up to her room screaming, “Stupid Sasha. I hate you. Why do you ruin everything? You ruin everything.”
“Are you seriously going to allow that?” Sasha demanded of me.
I said nothing, because I could tell she was in rare form and what was I to say? Kylie should not be expressing herself in that way, but she was only six, and the sentiment behind what she was saying was right. This was just how she took out her emotions.
I wanted to just drop the whole thing. But it was more than clear that I was about to receive an earful, since Sasha looked so angry.
“Well?” she demanded.
“Well what? Get to it, Sasha. I am tired and drained, and I’ve had a very long day.”
“Did you? Did you? And while you were having that long day, did you forget something?”
“No. What are you talking about?”
“Oh, my God. Are you for real right now? You were supposed to pick me up
at Saks.”
“Was I?”
“Are you trying to piss me off more than I already am? If that’s even possible?”
Then it occurred to me that my dad had probably arranged that or at least told her that and either inadvertently forgot or deliberately failed to tell me, which was more likely.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you had arranged to get home some other way. My dad didn’t say anything about you needing a pick-up. And here’s what I have to say to that. One, why didn’t you simply call me?”
“Why? Why should I have to?”
“You know, that’s what I am saying? You’d rather fight than call me. Who does that? Furthermore, how ungrateful are you? How much did you just sink my dad on the Saks card and all you can do is bark at me and be mad at me when you could have simply called me and asked for a ride? And now you have the nerve to ask me for more money?”
“I couldn’t possibly have shopped for as long as I was supposed to be at the open house with Kylie,” she said. “So, it wasn’t a fair trade; you still owe me money. Not to mention that my feelings are hurt that you wouldn’t let me come to Kylie’s open house with you guys. You always want my help but then treat me like I’m not a member of the team when it comes to something important.”
“A member of the team?” I asked her. “You mean, family? Because it was only family who came to the open house. And I don’t know why you’re trying to take over my football career and my family decisions.”
And with that, Sasha’s eyes turned a sour shade of black and she lifted a dish and threw it in my direction, although luckily for me she has poor aim or a good arm, whichever it is, because it passed me by a mile. But that was kind of the last straw. Kylie heard it and I heard her slam her bedroom door in protest.
“You are a complete ass. I only bought shoes. I don’t know who you think you are. You are a sad, lonely pathetic has-been and no one else wanted to put up with working for you or Kylie like I did. How dare you question a shoe purchase? Not to mention – fuck you – you left me at the store with no ride home.”