by Tamara Gill
Her pain would not be denied, and she sat in misery as she listened to her parents talking amongst themselves in that loving way they had, knowing she would never experience that feeling for herself. When the hour grew late enough, she excused herself and went to bed, pouring her grief into her pillow before falling into a restless sleep.
Chapter Seventeen
At Thornwood, Edward was up at dawn, waiting in the garden for Sarah. He paced back and forth, his stomach tied in knots as he mentally rehearsed his plea. He was interrupted by the last person he wished to see.
“Good morning, Edward,” Lady Anna called out in her sweetest voice.
Edward groaned. “Of all the people—” he muttered under his breath. To Anna, he said, “I am sorry, Lady Anna, I do not recall giving you leave to refer to me by my given name.”
Lady Anna stopped abruptly just feet from where Edward stood. The wide eyes and hanging jaw that accompanied her surprise were almost comical, but he was in no humour for laughter, especially not with this schemer.
“But,” Lady Anna stammered, “we are to be married! We are allowed to defer titles now.”
Taking a step closer to Lady Anna, Edward assumed the commanding tone he used with tenants and social climbers. “We are not going to be married,” he declared succinctly. “Nor will we ever be. My mother confessed to me last night her part in your little charade.”
“What do you mean? My father publicly announced it last night, so we most definitely are betrothed. You are bound to me. We will marry within the year.”
“No, we will not. I will never and would never marry you, Lady Anna. My mother wished it, and clearly, you and yours did, as well, but no one inquired as to my opinion. I agreed to give you a chance to make my mother happy, but the more I see of you, the less I even like you. I certainly have no desire, no plan, to tie myself to a schemer such as yourself.”
Lady Anna’s eyes flashed as she listened to him speak. “Oh, but you do desire to tie yourself to a lowborn daughter of a tradesman,” she spat.
“If I do, it is none of your concern, and for your information, that daughter of a tradesman has more kindness in her little finger than you have in your entire body.” Edward could feel his face turning red and a thump in his head that meant blood was throbbing through his veins at a fast pace. “Her father’s position in life is meaningless to me. What matters is that she cares about other people. She does not wish to hurt anyone. She shines in every situation a duchess should, including caring for the tenants of her estate. She is everything you are not, yes, but all in a good way.”
“You cannot be serious,” Lady Anna cried. “I care about you. I care about everyone who matters!”
“That is it, right there,” Edward replied. “Not everyone matters to you. That’s where Miss Payne differs. She is every bit as well-educated as you are, but she has that added generosity that you do not.” He paused and took in a deep breath, holding it for a minute and then letting it out. When Lady Anna tried to speak again, Edward held up his hand. “Enough. I am done speaking to you about it. Please leave. If Miss Payne sees you in the garden with me, she will not allow me to explain myself.”
Lady Anna sniffed and tossed her head, arms crossed over her chest. “I would not worry about that if I were you. I watched her family enter their coach not five minutes before I found you here. She will not be listening to anything you have to say. You have lost, Your Grace.” Her arms came down and she began to turn to leave. “I know you have meant none of what you said here. I forgive you for being so rude. I shall tell my father that we wish to marry in three months.”
Edward’s breath had stilled in his chest as an unseen hand gripped his heart. She cannot have left without seeing me, he thought. To Lady Anna, he snapped, without a care as to his tone or how she might react. “I said that I will not marry you, and I meant it. You can give that message to your father, too.” Without another word, Edward turned and strode away, ignoring Lady Anna’s sobs.
Chapter Eighteen
One week later, Edward’s landau pulled to a stop in front of a well-kept townhouse in a fashionable neighborhood. Looking to the right at the four-story building, the duke wondered what manner of reception he would receive. The opening of the door put an end to his speculation, and he descended from the carriage with his walking stick under his arm. Settling his hat more firmly on his head and tugging on his sleeves and coat, he squared his shoulders and marched up the shallow set of steps to the door, where his footman had already knocked.
Handing his card to the servant who answered the door, Edward said, “The Duke of Amblingshire to see Miss Sarah Payne.”
“Very good, sir. If you will follow me, I will take you to her.” The butler took Edward’s hat, gloves, and stick, and handed them off to a footman, then bowed and turned to walk down the hallway.
Edward took another deep breath and strode after the servant. He had been nervous before arriving, feeling as though he might cast up his accounts, but now that he was here, in the same house as Sarah, he could feel his heartbeat in his ears, along with a rushing sound that drowned out the sound of their footsteps on the polished wood floor. He swallowed as the footman opened the door and announced him. Then, he was in the room, and Sarah was before him. All he could see was her. He bowed, thinking, She is so pale and wan. His heart ached at the pain he could see in her face.
“Welcome to our home, Your Grace.” Mrs Payne curtseyed, her daughter following suit.
Distracted, Edward barely remembered his duty. “Thank you, ma’am. I am happy to be here.” He turned to Sarah, his heart in his eyes. “Miss Payne, how good it is to see you again.” He bowed deeply.
“Your Grace,” Sarah murmured. She remained quiet, her eyes on the floor, after her greeting.
A crease formed between Mrs Payne’s eyebrows as she observed her daughter. Clearly she did not understand why Sarah was behaving so oddly and Edward had hoped for a warmer reception, himself.
Gesturing to an inviting chair near the fireplace, Mrs Payne smiled at the duke. “Please, do be seated.”
Edward’s attention was snapped away from Sarah by her mother’s invitation, and it was then that he noticed the other gentleman who was seated between Mrs Payne and her daughter. “Would you introduce me to your friend, Miss Payne?”
Sarah’s head jerked upward and she paled further. “Yes, of course,” she stuttered. “Your Grace, this is Mr William Morris. Mr Morris, the Duke of Amblingshire.”
Edward performed a shallow bow as he greeted the other gentleman, examining the man’s clothing and demeanour. He saw nothing untoward about him, except that it was clear he was calling upon Sarah. That would not do.
Edward positioned himself on the chair beside where Sarah sat on a sofa and watched as Mr Morris took a seat on the other end of the long piece of furniture. Hmph, he thought, I should have taken the spot between them. Aloud, he asked Sarah a question, hoping to draw and keep her attention and force the other gentleman to leave. “How have you been? I have missed our talks.”
Sarah’s lips lifted in a pale imitation of the smile he was used to seeing from her. “I am well, thank you.”
Edward knew Sarah was holding back from him, and while he did not blame her – he would do the same in her position – he was determined to do what he had to in order to regain her favour. He was helped in this endeavour by the words that Mrs Payne next spoke.
“How is Lady Anna doing? Allow me to offer congratulations on behalf of my entire family for your engagement.”
“When I left Lady Anna, she was as well as could be expected. You must allow me to clear up a misconception. Despite what the duke announced the last night of the house party, Lady Anna did not accept a proposal of marriage from me.”
Mrs Payne’s brows rose, and her eyes grew wide. “Oh, I am so sorry.” She trailed off, apparently not knowing what else to say.
Sarah’s expression mirrored her mother’s. She stared at Edward, her eyes searching his f
ace for the truth.
Edward looked deep into Sarah’s eyes as he responded. “Thank you, Mrs Payne, but I am unaffected. My affections did not lie in that direction.” He watched as Sarah swallowed at his words.
“Poor Lady Anna,” Mrs Payne lamented, her hand over her heart. “Poor you, Your Grace! To have such an announcement unexpectedly thrust at you. And now, you are here.” She fell quiet, her eyes darting between the duke and her daughter.
Mr Morris had remained silent during this exchange, his eyes flashing from speaker to speaker as he listened. Finally, his eyes narrowed as he sized up the situation. Edward was aware the man could probably see and feel that he was here for Sarah Payne, but he did not care one bit.
True, he was hoping Morris would bow out gracefully and leave he and Sarah to work things out. However, the man apparently was in no mood to give up on such a suitable match for himself. Edward suspected that a marriage to Miss Payne came with a hefty dowry.
“I wonder at your temper, Your Grace, to treat a lady so cavalierly.” Morris made his position quite clear as he stuck out his chin in defiance.
Sarah and her mother gasped.
The man’s statement immediately turned Edward’s attention from Sarah. His face took on the commanding expression he had used so well with Lady Anna as he looked Morris up and down. Finally, his eyes stopped at Morris,’ and he drilled his rival with a glare that made many men quiver. “I shall not explain myself or my actions to you, sir, but you may rest assured that the lady of whom I speak does not repine the mistake. I was told by my mother just this morning that she had accepted the addresses of a marquess from a neighboring county.”
Morris turned red. Edward glanced at Sarah and was pleased to find her looking at the other man with reproach in her eyes. Obviously, realizing that he had not done himself any favours with his words, he took a figurative step back. Turning to Amblingshire, he apologized. “Forgive me, sir. I overstepped.
Edward glared at Morris for a full minute, but then relented. “You are forgiven.” He turned back to Sarah, his expression softening. “I came to ask if you would be interested in taking a drive with me in the park. I brought my landau so that we might enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.”
“Oh,” Sarah cried, caught off guard. She bit her lip. “I should like that very much, but…” She glanced at Morris.
Morris opened his mouth to speak, but Mrs Payne interrupted.
“Perhaps we might all go!”
Morris turned wide eyes in his hostess’ direction. It was plain to anyone with eyes that Mrs Payne favoured the duke. With a bitter twist of his mouth, he conceded. “I am past my time, anyway.” He rose and bowed to the ladies. “Thank you for the pleasant company. I wish you good day.”
“Thank you for coming, Mr Morris,” Sarah said, echoing her mother’s words. “I enjoyed our visit.”
“I did, as well.” Morris quirked one side of his lips up in a half-grin before turning and striding out the door.
Edward watched his fallen rival leave with a sense of satisfaction. He must not have been a serious suitor if he gave up so quickly, he thought. Turning back to the ladies, he repeated his request.
Sarah suddenly looked uncertain. She glanced at her mother, who nodded eagerly. She sighed inwardly and closed her eyes for a brief moment. Then, she looked into Edward’s expectant face. “I, well, we would love to ride in the park with you.” Looking over at her mother to confirm, she waited a beat for her to agree.
“You know, dear, I think I might stay behind. I am a bit tired and a rest would probably do me good. You two go along with out me. And do have a nice time.” Mrs Payne stood and stepped toward the door.
“Well, then. Have a nice rest, Mama.” Turning to the duke, she smiled demurely. “Allow me to fetch my bonnet. I will not be long.” With a curtsey, Sarah fled the room in as ladylike a manner as she could manage in spite of her anxiousness over the exciting turn of events.
Chapter Eighteen
Several minutes later, Edward was handing Sarah up into his carriage. Though he was elated that she agreed to go with him, he knew some explanations would need to be made. He could sense a reticence in her that had not existed in their interactions since the beginnings of their acquaintance, and he knew that to win her hand, he must win her heart all over again.
Edward pulled himself up into the landau, sitting beside Sarah, as close as he dared. The coachman shut the door and climbed up onto the driver’s seat, and soon they were in motion.
“It is a glorious day, do you not agree?” Edward felt like a fool asking the question when he had made a similar remark upon first entering the Paynes’ drawing room, but it was all his disordered brain could think of.
Sarah smiled, lifting her face to the sun. “It is. Thank you for taking me out.”
Edward’s heart skipped a beat at Sarah’s expression, the first happy one he had seen since his arrival in her home. “You are welcome.” He turned his head to look out over the park as they entered it. “You are blessed to live so close to the park here.”
“I am,” Sarah replied. “I come here as often as I can, mostly to walk, but sometimes to ride.”
“Does your father keep horses here?”
Sarah nodded. “We have a small stable behind the mews. We have two carriage horses and my mare. Father has two more carriage horses that he keeps at a stable outside of town.” She looked down at her hands for a moment but then looked up and finished her statement. “He rents them out from time to time. I think he feels a bit guilty about keeping them at all. I have heard him say that they must earn their keep, despite their beauty.”
Edward grinned. “I remember your father saying one evening that he has a fondness for flashy horses.”
Sarah chuckled. “He does. My mother teases him about it every now and then, reminding him that he does not know how to ride.”
“You should teach him, then he could enjoy riding with you here in the park.” Edward tilted his head, his eyes roaming Sarah’s face. His heart expanded to fill his chest to have her so near.
“I have offered,” Sarah sighed, “but he has not taken the time to learn. Perhaps if he purchases an estate, he will do so.”
Edward’s ears perked up. “Your father wishes to be a landowner?”
Sarah shrugged with one shoulder. “I do not know about that, but he greatly enjoyed our time at Thornwood, and Mama felt better while we were there. He spoke of it once, but he may have been teasing.”
“Hmm.” Edward looked out over the green grass in the center of the park. “Well, if he wishes me to, I can keep my eyes and ears open to any that are for sale.”
Sarah smiled softly. “Thank you. I am certain if he is interested in your offer, he will take you up on it. I will ask him this evening.”
Edward's lips lifted in an answering smile. “I look forward to hearing his reply.”
The pair of them rode in silence for a short while. When the driver looked over his shoulder near the end of the first circuit of the park, Edward indicated they should make a second one. Feeling that his time was now short, he turned to Sarah and addressed the issue that stood between them like a stone wall. “I apologize to you for the pain you endured your last night at Thornwood.”
Sarah looked at Edward when he began speaking, but the reminder of her pain brought the feelings rushing back, and she looked down at her hands. “You said to my mother that you are not engaged to Lady Anna.” She looked up at him again. “Is that true?”
Edward swallowed. “It is true. Do you remember how I told you that my mother wished for me to marry Anna, but that I did not want to?” When Sarah nodded, he continued. “Mother thought that if an announcement were made, I would go through with the marriage whether I wanted to or not. She went to Lady Anna and encouraged her to tell her father she had accepted me.” He stopped speaking, not knowing what else to say.
“And he believed her.”
Edward nodded. “Yes, he did.” He waited to see what
Sarah’s reaction was, but she said nothing. She simply stared out at the park. “I tried to reach you as you were leaving the room that night, but I was detained. As soon as I could get free, I pulled my mother away and confronted her.” He leaned forward in an attempt to see Sarah’s eyes, but her head was turned too far away from him. “I made it clear to my mother that I would not marry anyone I did not wish to. I also made that same sentiment clear to Lady Anna.”
At this, Sarah finally turned to look at Edward, her eyes filling with tears.
Seeing that he had Sarah’s full attention, Edward leaned toward her and spoke with an urgency that came from the depths of his heart. “I did not propose to Lady Anna. I would never do that because my affections lie elsewhere.” He paused, his gaze wandering over Sarah’s face. “It is you I love. I want to marry you, Miss Sarah Payne. I want to make you smile and laugh every day. I want to discuss books and politics with you, and take you dancing every now and again. I love you so much that I could not breathe when I realized you left Thornwood that morning.” Edward slid off the seat and onto one knee on the floor of the carriage, taking hold of Sarah’s hand with one of his. “Will you be my duchess? Will you marry me?”
Sarah’s free hand had come up to cover her mouth as soon as she realized that Edward was proposing. Suddenly, all her fear that he was playing with her again fled. “Yes,” she cried. “Yes, I will marry you. I love you, too!” Tears of joy streamed from her eyes as Edward rose from the floor to gather her in his arms.
“Thank you, my love.” He held her close for a moment but, cognizant of their location, he soon set her away from him, fishing a handkerchief out of his pocket to hand to her. He kissed her hand, retaining it in his grasp. This time, when the driver looked back for directions, Edward waved back toward Sarah’s house. “I must ask your father for his permission to wed you.”
Sarah squeezed Edward’s hand. Her smile told him that she was truly happy for it was reflected in the wide smile on her face. “He will not be home for another hour or so. Can you wait?”