by Erin Trejo
“Dad?” I question her. She smiles but looks confused.
“Roc, this is my dad, Martin. Do you guys know each other?” My heart slams into my ribs. My stomach churns.
“I need some air.” Aria tries to grab my arm but I shake it off. I need to get the hell out of here. I walk quickly out the side door and onto the balcony. Pulling in deep lungsful of air, I steady myself on the ledge.
“Since you two have already been acquainted, it should be easy,” He says. He knew. This whole Goddamn time, he knew. Why does that not surprise me? Why does it not surprise me that he knew?
Rage filters through my body much like the blood in my veins. I turn slowly to face him, my hands clenched so tightly, I feel my arms knot up.
“You knew this whole time.” It wasn’t a question.
“I did. Did you think there was anything I didn’t know? Never doubt me, Rocland. I expect it to be finished tonight,” He says calmly. Too calmly. I snap. I lose it. I swing, slamming my fist into his face. He falls to the ground, before I take a step toward him.
“Roc!” Aria screams before she drops to her father’s side, checking his face. What do I do now? How do I make this work? I can’t kill her. I won’t kill her.
“I’m ok, Aria. Your friend and I had a disagreement. No harm done.” Tomlin pulls himself off the ground, blood running from his lip. My eyes dart around, trying to figure out how to handle this. Tomlin says something to Aria before walking back inside. Her hands slam into my chest before I realize that she’s even that close.
“What the hell are you doing!” She screams. Another shove. My mind is a whirling tornado.
“Roc, answer me!” My eyes finally drop to Aria and I don’t know what to say.
“I need you to be calm with what I’m about to say to you. You can’t falter, even for a second.” I don’t want her to lose herself in front of all these people.
Aria stares at me in confusion. How do I tell her this?
“What is it, Roc?” Her voice has calmed slightly. Swallowing hard, I grab her shoulders.
“Your dad… Shit! Your dad hired me to…” I can’t finish it. I can’t tell her what he wants me to do.
“What? He hired you to what?”
“He hired me to kill you.” The words come out but Aria doesn’t look like she believes me. Her eyes wander around, stopping on her feet. She won’t look up at me.
“Why you?” She asks a little too calm this time. This is fucked up.
“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” I suggest. Her head shoots up, her eyes searching my face. She can’t really believe that I would do it.
“Go, where?” She asks in a tone that is highly nervous. Shaking my head, I let out a laugh.
“You think I’d do it?” The accusing tone of my voice should tell her all she needs to know.
“Wouldn’t you? What did he pay you? He offer you a shit ton of money?” She nearly smiles. I can see just how pissed she is right now. I can’t believe the nerve of this girl.
“You’re jokin’ right?” I ask. I need to walk away. She is pushing me way too far over my breaking point.
“You know what, Aria. Fuck you! You have your head so far up that pretty little ass of yours, you can’t even see straight. I won’t fuckin’ touch you, but I sure as hell won’t leave you with that monster either!” I yell before grabbing her around the waist and tossing her little ass over my shoulder. I don’t give two shits that people are staring at me. I haul her ass straight to my truck and my feet don’t stop until I get there.
“You better put me down, Rocland.” Screaming my whole name does something to me. A growl rips from my throat as I drop her ass in the passenger seat of my truck. I flick the child safety lock incase little miss smart ass decides to jump from the moving truck. I climb in the driver side as she laughs. It’s an evil laugh, too.
“Real mature with the child lock.” She spats. Grunting once, I don’t look over at her. “Are you going to say anything?” She asks. I look straight ahead. I can feel her eyes on me. She wants to push me; I know she does.
“You can’t ignore me forever, Roc.” Her tone is softer this time. Aria slides across the seat, her hand landing on my thigh. I tense instantly.
“You won’t win this.” I tell her firmly. I love her little huff. She throws herself back on to her side of the truck as I haul ass to the clubhouse. Pulling my phone out, I dial Dragon.
“Need me already?” His chuckle doesn’t go unnoticed.
“We have a problem. Meet me in the lobby.”
Chapter 16
I spin the truck tires as I pull into the clubhouse. My anger is off the charts the more I think. I jump out and go around to get Aria. She’s playing some kind of little game that quickly pisses me off. As soon as I open her door, she slides across the seat. She can clearly see now isn’t a time to fuck with me.
“Get the fuck over here.” I growl. The way it comes out of my mouth, she doesn’t hesitate. I pull her out and head straight inside. The guys are waiting right where I told them to.
“What’s goin’ on, Roc?” Ghost says, looking at the way I’m holding Aria, he pulls his eyes back to me.
“Prospect! Take her to my room. If she tries to run, shoot her ass.” Aria’s eyes jerk to mine. I hand her off to the prospect along with my room key. I wait until they are out of ear shot to start talking.
“Tomlin is her father. I’m supposed to kill Aria.” I say, running my hand through my hair. The word shit leaves a lot of mouths around the room. I agree with that.
“How did this happen?” Devil asks tugging at his lip piercing. A telltale sign that he is overthinking shit.
“Went to the Goddamn gala and saw her. Tomlin came to find me as planned, and saw me with her,” I say. Dragon’s climbs to his feet, pacing the room.
“Now what? What the fuck do we do here?” Ghost snaps. Moving to his feet next.
“I get her out. I need more information on Tomlin. I need to know who else has the intel on us.” I say. It’s as simple as that. Devil looks over at me. His eyes are blazing with rage.
“I’ll take her. I have a place up north. They won’t find her there.” I can’t believe that he’s actually saying that. Of all the guys here, I never expected him to agree.
“Why don’t we just kill Tomlin, game over.” Ghost suggests. Glancing over at him, I shake my head.
“He has other people in on this, that much I know. I need to get all the info he has on us, then he’s out.” Nods, all around. That’s my family right there.
“I’ll get her ready,” I say, looking at Devil as he nods his head.
“Don’t worry, Roc. I’ll keep her safe.” Devil’s words are comforting in the slightest way. I know he will. That was never a question in my mind.
“Give me a little bit.” I tell him before he nods. I shove off the seat and toward my room not at all ready for this.
“We’ll get this shit straightened out, brother.” Ghost throws his arm around my shoulder.
“I know. I’ll kill that motherfucker.”
***
Knocking on my own door is weird enough but to see Aria in there with the prospect, it kind of pisses me off.
“We good?” The prospect asks as he looks up at me. I give him a quick nod before he leaves the room.
“Devil’s takin’ you up north. You’ll be safe there.”
“What about you?” She asks timidly. I can’t stop the laughter that erupts out of me.
“I’m lost and alone, Aria. This is it for me. This is my home! You don’t know what this world is like! You can’t make it through the week in this shit. You go with Devil, listen to what he says. I’ll get your dad,” I say with the most assurance I can give her. Her eyes fill with tears as I rummage through my dresser drawers.
“So, you just throw me away?” She says. I don’t acknowledge that. I have to get her out of here, and safe. I pull a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants from the drawer, dropping them onto the bed.
“He’ll
get you some more clothes once you get where you’re goin’.” I run my hand over my face not sure what to say or do next.
Everything inside of me is what it is. I can’t change it.
“You’re a coward!” Aria screams. I may be.
“It was never your place to be here, Aria. I dragged you into this shit. I’m stayin’ this way. I live my life the way I choose. I’m choosin’ to walk away before I lose you. Don’t you see that? It’s time for you to go.” That was hard for me to say. I can’t let her words hang in my head for too long. I will lose my mind if I do.
“You didn’t pull me anywhere. If it wasn’t for my dad, you wouldn’t be pushing me away. Why are you punishing me?” She comes up in front of me so quickly, I didn’t see her move. Slamming her hands into my chest, I shake my head.
“Stop. Stop it, Aria! You think I’m punishin’ you? It’s the complete fuckin’ opposite! I’m tryin’ to protect you here!” I scream in her face. Aria drops to her knees and cries. I turn and slam my fist into the wall next to me. This girl pushes every Goddamn button I have. The choice to keep her safe wasn’t even a choice; it was something I have to do. I turn back to her, kneeling in front of her. I slide my hands around her. She drops her head on my shoulder while I unzip the back of her dress.
“No one has ever given a damn about me. My dad hated me. Ghost took me in when I was young.” I talk as I slide the dress off her shoulders, all the while she keeps crying.
I reach behind us and pull the t-shirt off the bed, sliding it over her head.
“He gave me a life. He gave me a family. I owe this club everything I have. Meetin’ you though, I can’t think straight when you’re near me.” I lift her under her arms, standing up, setting her on her feet. I watch the dress slide the rest of the way to the ground, pooling at her feet. I turn back and grab the pants before helping her lift her legs into them.
“I never thought I could feel the way I do. My heart slams in my chest every time I see you. My brain wants me to kill every man that even looks in your direction.” I grab the inner strings, pulling the pants tighter around her waist, the tears never stop. I let my hands linger on her hips longer than I should.
“Sometimes, there’s just no escaping from reality.” I say looking up into her eyes. I hate the look I see in them.
“Heartache is new to me. Mistakes aren’t, though. I’m used to makin’ plenty of those.” I say, her eyes plead with me to stop.
“One day you'll look back, and it will all make sense to you. Why I do the things I do−why I can’t keep you.” Reaching up, I wipe the tears with my thumbs as I let them glide over her cheeks. I lean in, pressing my lips to hers, tasting her salty tears. Resting my forehead against hers, I sigh.
“Never forget me,” I whisper against her lips when I hear someone knock. I know it’s Devil.
“Your chariot awaits,” I say, with a small smile. The small laugh that escapes her kills me piece by piece. I pull away from her, grabbing her hand, leading her to the door. Pulling it open, Devil stands there with a bag over his shoulder.
“I won’t, Roc,” She says. I give her a sad smile knowing what she means. Releasing her hand, I place it into Devil’s.
Chapter 17
I dreamt about my mother last night. I’ve never dreamt about her before. She was beautiful. Long hair that cascaded over her shoulders. She was amazingly calm when she walked up to me. I’ve come to realize that my shadows now haunt me. They are everywhere I look. All the bad that I’ve done in my life is creeping its way back on top of me.
I look at the gun that sits in my lap. I cock my head side to side taking in its beauty. It has the power to end a life. It has the power to make things happen. It can take away every shadow that creeps through the dark, threatening to overwhelm me. But then what? Where does that leave the guys? Where does that leave my brothers? It leaves them to clean up my damn messes that I have made. It leaves them to wonder. It leaves them with a shadow of their own. That weight is what keeps me going. It’s the reason that I pull out every stop, and make myself wake up in the morning. Leaving them to deal with my past isn’t an option. They never asked for this, I did. I twirl the gun around my finger a few times before Ghost walks in.
“Doin’ ok?” He asks. Am I? I nod, but I don’t know why. I don’t know what I am anymore.
Aria was something more. She made me feel. Feeling wasn’t a luxury I’ve ever had. I let her hear my heart. I let her call out to it and then I sent her away.
“Pushin’ her away was the right thing to do, wasn’t it?” I ask a little unsettled. Ghost drops on the chair next to me.
“You want my honest answer?” Taking a deep breath, I nod.
“No. But I get why you did. I pushed Melanie away. I shoved until she couldn’t take it anymore. I know what you guys saw, but behind closed doors, I shoved as hard as I could. You want my opinion? When you get her dad, go to her.” I don’t miss the tone of his voice. I know how much it hurt him when Melanie left. I just never realized how much he shoved her away either. Ghost shoves out of his chair.
“I don’t know how to make it work, Ghost. This is all I know.”
“You’re playin’ yourself, Roc! You know how to make it work. Fuck, you been doin’ it for a while now. That girl means somethin’ to you. You shouldn’t walk away from that.”
***
I ride in the back of the truck with my mind in a blur. Her−it’s always her.
The more I think about her, the more my focus changes. The more my focus changes, the harder I become. It’s a strange concept to think that you want to make something work with someone you barely know. Thoughts play out in my dreams, but I know that’s all they are. Never a reality. The truck comes to a stop, and I take a deep breath, pulling the ski mask over my face.
“You two hit down, we got up. Watch Roc’s ass when he’s in that office. Anyone pops up, shoot. Don’t you dare hesitate.” Dragon directs us all on what to do. My focus is perfect. I have a game plan, and now all I have to do is set it into motion. Climbing out of the truck, I have a new focus. A future. My future. I’ve never had that before. I never thought past what the day held in store for me. Ghost is right, though. I don’t want to regret not trying to make things work with Aria. Why the hell should I, anyway? She meant a lot to me. She still means a lot to me. I can have her and this life. A lot of guys do it.
“Let’s get in, and get out. If it seems important, take it.” Dragon is speaking mainly to me. I can see it in his eyes. With a quick nod, we head toward the doors. I know there’s one security guard on duty in the front lobby, and one on each floor. I’ve looked into it. I roll my shoulders and ready myself for what’s about to come.
We head in the front doors and before the security guard even looks up, I shoot him between the eyes. His body falls back in his chair.
“Nice shot,” Ghost chuckles next to me.
“You know I have them sharp shooter skills.” I grin at him. Dragon laughs as the other guys file out around us.
“What floor?” Dragon asks as we pile into the elevators, leaving some of the other guys at the front doors.
“Third. You sure about leavin’ Trick out front?” I ask. Glancing over at Dragon, he shrugs.
“He wants that patch bad enough, let him prove it.” Dragon answers. I guess that’s true enough. Trick is a prospect as of right now. He’s been around awhile. He’s always come through when we needed him to. I guess this will be one of the bigger jobs he’s had, though. The elevator dings before the doors open. Ghost sticks his head out looking left, then right.
“Don’t see the guard,” He says, leaning back in, we all nod.
“This floor circles around. Must be on the other side,” I say looking at Dragon and Ghost.
“Go to the office, we’ll circle it, meet you back there,” Dragon says, moving quickly to step out of the elevator. Dragon goes to the right, Ghost to the left. I hurry toward Tomlin’s office. The lock isn’t hard to pick, considering I’ve do
ne it more than once. I’m inside the office in no time.
I check through every drawer and every file. If anything looks of interest, I stuff it into the duffle bag that hangs off my shoulder.
What stops me in my tracks is a picture on his desk. It’s a picture of Aria. That isn’t what guts me, though. It’s the note that’s attached to the picture.
“I will find her. She will die. C.”
Chapter 18
My stomach churns as I try to make sense of this. Nothing comes to mind, though. Who the hell is C? Someone was in here before us, but how? All the guards were alive until we showed up? I grab the picture off the desk along with the note, stuffing them into my bag when the door flies open.
“Got the guard. You findin’ shit?” Ghost say as he walks into the office. Ghost nods toward my hand where I hold the note. “What is it?” He asks. This is insane. Who the hell would be after her? Why?
“I found a note. Someone was here before us,” I say, not sure how to handle it. Ghost looks as shocked as I feel.
“Who?” He asks looking to me for answers. Shaking my head, I wish I knew the answer to that.
“Don’t know, but they are after Aria,” I say. I take a deep breath trying to come up with any kind of answers but I have nothing. His laptop isn’t here, which doesn’t surprise me.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” I say while Ghost watches me. Ghost nods before disappearing into the hallway.
I take one last glance around before closing the door behind me. I’m abnormally silent as we make our way back out of the building. So many things run through my head that I can’t control. Who the hell is after her−and why? That’s my main concern. Killing Tomlin would be easy. It would bring me much pleasure, but I can’t risk anyone else finding out about the club. I can’t put my family in that kind of risk. More so, I don’t know who is after Aria, or why. That alone sets my insides on fire. The guys talk around me but I don’t hear a word that they're saying. I’m too lost in myself. Worry eats away at me. I slide my phone out, sending a quick text to Devil, to check in and see that everything is ok on that end. When he writes back and says they’re good, the tension in my shoulders ease slightly. The knot in my stomach is still there, and in full force. Something isn’t adding up. Tomlin wants his own daughter dead, but he clearly didn’t realize that someone else did also. Or, does he know? Was he trying to get her out of the way first? I drop my head into my hands. This whole thing is turning into a complete mess.