by Erin Trejo
The anger that I felt when we found out what happened to her is now a ball in my chest. It doesn’t go away, and it doesn’t ease up. In fact, it’s worse than it has ever been. I throw the truck into drive and speed out of there. I saw her standing in the doorway. I knew she was watching me. Still, I couldn’t look back at her. I would turn the fuck around and drag her ass back to the one place that almost killed her. I couldn’t be the reason behind her death. I don’t think even my fucked-up conscience could handle that. Not wanting to go back right away, I drive around town. I’m not going anywhere. As much as I want to, I’m not. I need to find those assholes–and kill every one of them. Stopping at the local bar, I decide to drown her out. Drown out all the pain–all the anger–all the regret. I do fucking regret it, too. I regret letting her near me. I regret fucking her, and ruining her. I knew it would happen.
This world can chew you up and spit you out. It has done it to me.
“What’ll you have?” The pretty little blonde leans on the counter in front of me.
“Vodka. A lot of it.” I say. With her perfect smile, she slides it over to me. I give her a quick nod before heading to the back.
I need to drink it up and let shit go.
Chapter 11
I twirl the lighter between my fingers. Running my thumb over the words that she had carved into it. I hate life. I hate the world. Mostly, I hate myself. I let things happen that I should have been more aware of. If someone was after me, I should have known about it. Instead, they took the one thing that mattered to me. How they knew about her is beyond me. I’ve researched the shit out of every single thing I could find. Throwers are nowhere to be seen.
“Saints said they heard somethin’ about the attack,” Roc says, and my gaze snaps to his.
“What did they hear?” I ask as he sits in the chair across from me.
“Picked Angel up when she left here that day. They saw her leave. Assumed she was someone’s lady,” He says shaking his head. That can’t be right.
“Angel said they were after me. Not the club,” I tell Roc, he nods his head as though he already knows this.
“Heard that, too. She was, uh… She was givin’ them a good fight from what I was told,” He tells me unsure of how I’ll react. I don’t want to hear this shit. I start to shove off the couch, but Roc stops me.
“Look, the only thing we can come up with right now is, that guy you shot a while back. He was the kid of one of the Thrower’s. He wasn’t affiliated with the club, though.” He tells me. My mind wanders back to how many guys I’ve actually killed. If he wants to go that route, he needs to be more specific.
“I don’t know what guy you’re talkin’ about here, Roc. There’s been a few, brother.” His eyes close for a second before coming back to me.
“Outside of town. The deal that went bad about seven months back.” Shit, now I remember.
“Fuck me. I didn’t know shit about that guy.” Scrubbing my hand over my face, I grab my beer. Taking a long pull, I let that sink in.
“Turns out, no one really knew shit about the kid. He was fuckin’ the wrong people on the wrong day. Not the first time he did it.” I chuckle a little when I look back over at him.
“Sure, as fuck was the last time, though.” He laughs along with me. How could he not? I did what I did for this club. Much like a lot of things I do.
“So, now I need to find daddy, and send him on his way to meet up with his son in hell. Sounds easy, right?”
***
“You look like shit.” Ghost slaps his hand on my shoulder. I know what I look like. Hell, that’s exactly how I feel.
“I know, man.” I bring the cigarette to my lips, inhaling the smoke.
“Why don’t you go see her?” He asks, seemingly concerned. I shake my head, though. I don’t think that’s a good idea.
“She didn’t want to be near me,” I tell him in sureness. Ghost shakes his head before looking back at me.
“You don’t believe that shit–do you?” Honestly, I saw the way she looked at me when I left. She was torn.
“I promised her I wouldn’t bother her. I promised her I would kill those motherfuckers.” He knows what I mean.
“We will. It’s not like we haven’t been lookin’, Devil. We’ll find them.” His words piss me off a little more.
“It’s been a month! A fuckin’ month, and my worthless no good ass hasn’t found them yet! What the fuck kind of man does that make me?” Before he can respond, he grins over my shoulder. I don’t know what kind of sick shit he’s doing now, but I want no part of it.
“Fuckin’ prick.” Ghost slams his shoulder into mine when he walks past me.
“I haven’t given up on you yet.” My head drops forward. What’s she doing here? I turn slowly, looking at the only thing that has ever made sense to me. Angel. Her smile is bright. She looks me in the eye before Ghost steps in front of her.
“Good to see you in one piece,” Ghost tells her, pulling her into a hug. Something tugs at my stomach. My chest feels tight, like I can’t breathe.
“It feels good to be whole.” She pulls away from him, and he walks off with a grin. I stand there, taking her in. She looks different. She looks happy, in a way. She’s dressed completely different than she used to. She’s wearing a long flowing dress that shows off just her shoulders. Sparkly sandals on her feet show off her painted toenails. She isn’t the girl that left here, that much I can see.
“You don’t like the new clothes?” She asks as she pulls my attention back to her eyes.
“You look amazin’, sweetheart. I just didn’t expect to see you here.” I’m telling the truth. She steps toward me, her hair blowing in the wind. My heart slams double time in my chest.
“I missed you. I wanted to see you.” Her eyes flicker with a fire that I’ve never seen before.
“I missed you, too.” A tear slides down her cheek. I reach up, gripping her face in my hands. My thumb runs over her cheek, wiping the tear away. I let my thumbs roam her cheeks as she watches me intently. The silence should be scary, yet, I find peace in it. I trail my thumb over her bottom lip, loving how her mouth parts. Her eyes flutter closed.
“I haven’t given up on you yet.”
We stand there like this for a long time. In fact, I lose all sense of time. Feeling her skin against mine, I can’t make my mind work at all. Angel’s the one that finally talks.
“You look so lost.” She’s being sincere.
“I feel like I am,” I tell her truthfully. Her smile fades away within seconds.
“I can’t stay, Devil. I’m trying to find my way again.” I think something deep down inside of me wanted to believe that. I knew she couldn’t stay.
“Then what are you doin’ here?” Her hands come to rest on my arms, griping my wrists.
“I don’t know, Devil. I don’t know how to be me anymore.” Tears fall down her cheeks. My breath catches in my throat.
“You know who you are, Angel. You’re where you were meant to be.” Dropping my hands from her face, I take a step back.
Angel watches me until we both almost break. My mind whirls around the idea of never seeing her again. She isn’t Angel, the girl that walked away from here. She’s ruined and broken. She’s lost.
“Don’t walk away from me, Devil,” She yells. I shake my head but I don’t know how to keep her anymore. I walk past her but when her hands land on my waist, I’m lost in her touch. My feet refuse to move. I’m stuck in place.
“Can I ask you something?” She asks me sincerely. Looking down into her eyes, how could I say no.
“Ask me anything, darlin’.” Her eyes beam up at me. Softness reflects in them.
“Will you not give up on me just yet, either?” It’s like a slap to the face. It’s as though a hand has wrapped itself around my heart.
“I’ve never given up on you.” I tell her. Angel slams her lips against mine. The taste of her filters its way through me. My dick hardens instantly and my heart hammers i
n my chest.
“Take me to your room, Devil.” The tears fall down her cheeks but I lift her in my arms. I walk us inside, past everyone, and straight down the hallway. As soon as I get her inside my room, I kick the door closed behind us. I take long strides, making it to the bed in no time. Laying her down, she looks like her name.
An Angel.
Chapter 12
“You’re so beautiful. I don’t want to rush you after everything else.” Angel shakes her head slowly, her long hair falling across the pillow.
“I need you. I need to feel that connection to you.” I slide my jeans off quickly, thanking God, I didn’t have a shirt on. I climb on the end of the bed, slowly lifting the long dress up her legs. The bruises are faded, and the cuts are basically gone. Bumps form on her skin as my fingers skim over her soft skin. I press light kisses up her legs, watching the way she reacts to me. Her eyes never leave mine as she lays there propped up on her elbows.
“Do you have any idea–how much I missed you?” Her smile could melt the coldest heart. Much like she’s doing to me right now.
“Not as much as I missed you.” I slide the dress further up, revealing her black lace thong. My body ignites in fire as I look at her.
“Goddamn, Angel.” Her smile couldn’t get any brighter than it is right now. She’s gorgeous.
Her fingers find their way into my hair. She slides her fingers over my scalp. Grabbing the side of her thong with my teeth, I drag them down her body. Angel’s breathe catches. Her eyes stay locked on me.
“Devil.” My name leaves those lips and I want to lose myself in her, but I know I can’t. She’s still healing, if not physically, emotionally. I discard her panties to the floor, running my hands up her legs. Just her scent alone, is sending heat rushing through me. I spread her thighs, sliding in between her. I slowly drag my finger through her wetness, listening to her moan.
“I didn’t play very nicely that first time.” Her head has dropped back, her eyes closed. Sticking my tongue out, I slowly drag it between her slickness. Fuck, this is better than I have ever dreamed it would be. Groaning, I run it up and down in a slow tortuous motion. Her fingers stay in my hair, lightly tugging. She has no idea how much that fucking turns me on. I flick my tongue over her clit, and her body damn near leaps off the bed. Chuckling against her, she looks down at me.
“I need you, Devil.”
Just hearing her say that has me so worked up, I can barely contain myself.
“You want me–Angel?” I slide my hands up under her dress and straight to her breasts. Damn it! I’m going to fucking cum all over this bed.
“Yes, Devil. I want you.” I lift her up, sliding the dress over her head and tossing it to the floor. My lips come down to cover her nipple through her matching lace bra. Angel’s hands wrap around my neck, trying to pull me up to her.
“I can’t have you just once–Angel. You need to know that. I want all of you. I can’t let this go.” Kissing between her breasts, I finally move up to her neck. Her hardened nipples scrape over my chest, making me shiver. Sucking her soft skin into my mouth, I want to mark her as mine. I want everyone to know, that she’s mine.
“Angel.” It’s a question. I need to know that she wants me the way I want her.
“You’ve always had all of me, Devil.” My eyes jump to hers. The soft tears dripping down her cheeks.
“Have I?” Nodding her head, I capture her lips with mine. Our tongues skate against each other, taking what they need from each other. My dick rubs along that wetness I just tasted, and there’s nothing I want more than to take her any way I can get her.
“If you’re not ready, Angel, tell me. I’ll wait for you.” My words surprised her. She gulps back a tear.
“I know you, Devil. You won’t hurt me.” Her words shoot straight through me. My mouth slams back into hers. I take what I want from those soft lips.
The way her body is arching against me, I need to be inside of her. I reach between us, sliding inside of her.
“Tell me you’re on somethin’?” I can’t pull out now. Not now that I’m inside of her.
“I am. Don’t stop.” That was all I needed. Angel’s legs wrap around my waist, pulling me in closer. I don’t think I could get deeper if I wanted to.
“My, Angel.” Whispering against her neck, I roll my hips. Feeling her like this, so free, so raw. It’s fucking heaven.
***
Angel sits on the counter in the kitchen looking like a goddess. She’s beyond anything I’ve ever seen before.
“Stop lookin’ at me like that.” I grin. Angel giggles as I dump the food onto a plate.
“I can’t help it! I’ve never seen you cook before. In fact, I’ve never seen you in the kitchen unless it was for liquor.” Smirking over at her, I pick up our plates and walk toward her.
“Is this you? Like, the real you?” Nodding toward the dress, she knows what I mean. Angel takes the plate from my hand before taking a big bite.
“It is. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love dressing up like I did, but this is what I feel best in.” The way she says it makes me smile.
“Why? Is it too weird for you to see me like this?” Yeah, because that would ever stop me.
“You look fuckin’ hot in anything, Angel. We just look like complete opposites now.” My smile must do something to her. Her body shudders while I watch.
“We might look different–but deep down–we’re the same.” I wish that was true. We couldn’t be any more different.
“What do you think?” Nodding toward the food, Angel grins.
“It’s amazing.” I give her a sly look making her laugh.
“It is! You are going to have to cook more often for me.” I finish chewing my food letting those words sink in.
“Does that mean you’re gonna come see me again?” Angel sets her fork on the counter next to her plate before looking at me.
“Come here.” Setting mine down as well, I shove my way between her legs.
“I don’t know how to live here anymore. I don’t want to be looked at, as the club whore, that I know I am. It was my place for a long time, I just don’t want to be that anymore.” She’s serious. She is actually fucking serious, right now.
“Have you understood nothin’? You aren’t a fuckin’ club whore, Angel. You’re mine. If you need a goddamn patch to prove that, you got it.” Her mouth falls open. She doesn’t believe me, not yet anyway.
“You would do that for me?” Damn this woman!
I reach up, gripping her face in my hands.
“I’d do anything for you. Don’t you get that?” Angel leans forward, pressing her lips to mine.
“Thank you, Devil.”
Our conversation was cut short. Angel never really said one way or the other about being with me. I’d like to think that thank you, was a yes, but I can’t put words in her mouth.
“She’s freeing the Devil,” Roc says. Glancing over at him, I shake my head.
“You’ve lost your goddamn mind, brother.” Bringing the cigarette back to my lips, I let my eyes wander over to Angel.
“Sure, I have. Look at you, man. You’re like a fuckin’ female–all beamin’ and shit.” Raising my eyebrows, I look back over at the mental son of a bitch.
“She doesn’t wanna stay, Roc,” I tell him. Roc huffs under his breath.
“She’ll come around. Maybe she needs some more time.” Shaking my head, this is ridiculous.
“She doesn’t need time, Roc! She needs a goddamn man that can take care of her. Look at her. That’s the real Angel right there. The one that wears the expensive fuckin’ clothes, and lives in a goddamn mansion.” I roar. I turn my head but I didn’t notice the girls standing there.
“Even after all the other shit, that’s how you see me?” Angel says. She stands in front of me with Aria wrapped around her waist.
“It’s not how I see you. I fuckin’ see you, for you, Angel. I know I can’t give you what you have there. You deserve someone that can.
” I’m truthful with her. Her eyes widen and just when I think she’s going to cry, she unleashes all her anger on me. It’s almost a welcomed relief, too.
“You told me not to give up on you yet. You told me that you wanted me, Devil! You fucking told me last night, that you didn’t want just one time with me!” She screams. Ghost chuckles behind her. Aria raises an eyebrow, looking at me. I shove myself off the couch and stand in front of her. Aria reaches over, plucking the cigarette from my lips. These women are going to be the death of me. I run my hand through my hair as I look at her.
“I know what you need. You need to be happy, Angel.” Taking the last step in between us, she stops.
“You make me happy, Devil. More than anyone ever has. I told you I wasn’t ready for all of this. That didn’t include you.” Her lips press against mine and I’m once again lost in this girl.
Chapter 13
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Angel asks. I can’t help but laugh at her. She’s fucking beautiful.
“Why wouldn’t it be? Don’t act like you ain’t never been in this pool naked before.” Angel’s giggles could light up the world. She looks so damn happy right now.
“Oh, that was a low blow,” She says pointing at me as I laugh.
“You’re gonna have to go low, to blow, sweetheart.” Her eyes fill with joy. A joy I’ve never seen on her before. I love it, though. I wasn’t ready to take her back home yet. The guys decided to give us some alone time at the clubhouse while she’s here. I watch her naked body as it moves through the water, stroke after stroke. When she pops up at the other end, all I can think about is licking the water off her body. Angel turns to face me, a smile on her face, water sticking her hair to her skin. Fuck, if my dick isn’t throbbing for her right now.