by Erin Trejo
We’re all close, as close as any brothers could be. We all have our own shit going on but at the end of the day, we’re family, and that’s what’s important. We turn off the main road, heading down toward the shop.
I don’t like the look of this shit already. My heart begins to hammer in my chest. There are eight other bikes parked out front, that I can see. That doesn’t mean there aren’t more behind the shop. Dragon pulls up and cuts the engine. We all follow behind him, doing the same. Climbing off, I clench and unclench my hands, preparing them for what’s about to come.
“They think they live here now?” Ghost says as he chuckles. I hear him checking the ammo in his gun behind me. We walk toward the shop, guns drawn, and ready. Hell, I may be a little more excited than the rest of them. Licking my lips, I’m damn ready.
“Fella’s... If you planned on staying here, at least we could discuss the rent.” Dragon takes the lead, catching them off guard. Their eyes dart around as we all come to stand in front of them. The grin that creeps across my face must piss them off. I can see the look in their eyes. I don’t give a shit either. I love this.
“What the fuck you want?” The one in the front steps toward Dragon. Yeah, this is going to get good.
“What do I want?” Dragon says, looking over his shoulder at us before laughing.
“This is my shop. And that house you been holed up in? That’s mine, too.” Dragon turns back to the guy.
I try to look at his face, but I can’t place him as anyone I’ve ever seen before. The guy chews on his toothpick, staring Dragon down.
“That so?” His eyes look familiar but his face is drawing a blank.
“Yeah, that’s so. Who the fuck you workin’ with?” Dragon’s tone changes within seconds. I know he’s getting more pissed off by the second. I watch the silent standoff between the two of them. It almost gets my dick hard watching this shit.
“What if I said, you,” The guy says. Dragon rolls his shoulders, clearly having enough of this prick. I can’t blame him either.
“Well, I sure as fuck didn’t hire you,” Dragon responds with a growl. The guy’s eyes dart around the room. He looks as confused as the rest of us.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He says as I glance over my shoulder at Ghost, trying to get a read on this shit. Hell, we are all confused at this point.
“It means; I didn’t hire you motherfuckers, for a damn thing! Now, what the fuck are you doin’ in my shop?” When Dragon roars, you know it. It’s like the man can actually breathe fire.
“We were hired to take that girl. Rough her up good.” My anger begins to boil. This shit isn’t making any sense.
“What girl?” Dragon’s growl rips through the room. Hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
“The blonde. We were ordered to fuck her up and dump her ass back with you.” I aim my gun, pulling the trigger as I watch the bullet slam into that bastard’s leg. The guys move in quickly. Taking the rest of these bitches to the ground was easier than I thought it would be. Now that I know they had Angel, I will enjoy killing these motherfuckers one–by–one.
“Which one of you raped her?” I roar. Ghost is trying to pull me back so we can get more information but I’m in a zone. I’m in the place that no one has ever wanted to see me in. I’m the fire in the pits of hell.
“Fuckin’ calm down, Devil,” Ghost yells in my ear. The guy on the floor holding his leg, looks up with wide eyes.
“You’re Devil?” He asks unsure of himself. I don’t acknowledge the fucker. I just want to watch him bleed.
“Does that matter now? You will see me in hell.” Aiming the gun at his head, Roc’s hand comes down on my shoulder.
“Let’s see what they know,” Roc tries to diffuse me. Shaking my head, I can’t.
“You raped her. You took away somethin’ she can never get back.” Growling in his face, I’m yanked back.
“He’s yours, Devil. Just give it a minute,” Dragon snaps me out of my daze.
“Who the hell hired you to take her, and don’t you dare say me.” The man looks confused as fuck.
“We got a call. Said it was Hell’s Fire. They needed a girl sent a message. We picked up the money here. Figured it was on your turf, it had to be you.” My nerves fire off. I know it was Throwers.
“So, you just agree? What the fuck kind of club you runnin’?” Dragon grabs him by the hair, jerking him to his feet. He’s in his face. He’s pissed.
“We don’t go around hirin’ little fucks like you to take care of our business. If we wanted her handled, we have the power to do it. Who the fuck else would hire you?” The look on Dragon’s face is lethal. Maybe as lethal as I feel.
“We had a few guy’s set-up when the drop happened, brother. Heard them talkin’ about takin’ out Devil for killin’ one of their kids.” Now we get to the bottom of this shit.
“Throwers. Just like I fuckin’ thought,” I growl. Before anyone can say another word, I pull the trigger and watch the son of a bitch drop to the floor.
“Little close to my face, brother,” Dragon doesn’t sound too happy, but in this moment, I don’t give a shit.
“Can’t say sorry, Dragon Man.” He nods once before looking back at the other idiots that cower in the corner.
“What do you want to do with the rest of them?” Ghost asks as he walks up next to us with a cigarette dangling from his lips.
“Well, I’d say that’s Devil’s call.” Dragon laughs. With a grin, I look over at the rest of them.
“This is gonna be fun.”
***
Most of the guys went outside. Ghost on the other hand, stuck around. I think that fucker is just as gone as I am.
“We didn’t touch that bitch!” The guy that kneels in front of me doesn’t realize that he shouldn’t be opening his mouth.
“That so?” He nods his head rapidly. Lying fucker.
“They all zip tied?” Looking over at Ghost, he nods with a sick grin on his face.
“Grab that broom.” Nodding toward the corner, he walks over and picks it up, passing it to me.
“Did you ever wonder what she was thinkin’? Did she cry? Beg for you to stop?” Pacing in front of the asshole, he shakes his head.
“Ghost, pull this fucker’s pants off, and roll him the fuck over.” I hear all the gasps. They will get theirs, but this fuck? He wants to test me. He wants to see just how far; I’m willing to go with this shit. I watch Ghost as he yanks the guy’s pants to the floor, rolling him onto his stomach.
“Don’t do this! You don’t have to do this over some girl.” I grin over at Ghost.
“Look at that shit. Is he beggin’?” Ghost looks almost sick but, he nods.
“I think he is.” Dropping to my knees next to him, I lean down in his face.
“Is that what she said? Did she say that to you? Please, don’t do this to me? Was that her words?” I see the tears in his eyes. I see the fear. I feed off it. Pushing back, I line up over him, lining the end of the broom stick with his asshole. Shoving it in, I listen to him scream.
“Feel it! Feel every last fuckin’ thing that you did to her!” Hollering, I don’t stop. Harder and harder–I slam it up this motherfucker’s ass. I want him to feel the pain, the way she did. Ghost watches silently. He doesn’t say a word as I violate this pig.
“You like it? Did you ask her if she liked it?” I don’t stop. Not until his hollering stops, and blood oozes out of him. I let go of the broom before standing back up.
“Who else touched my girl?” I thunder, looking around at all the punks. None of them will make eye contact with me.
“Kill them, Devil. Let’s go,” Ghost says. Turning to him, I shake my head.
“I don’t need you in here. Get the fuck out. I will make them all feel what she felt.”
Ghost went outside, like I figured he would. He always wants the quick kill. I, on the other hand, have plans for these bitches. I’ve tortured all of them, but one. He watches me as I pace
through the bodies that litter the shop floor.
“I want nothin’ more than to make you feel her pain. Killin’ you just seems too easy now, though.” The guy looks up as though I’ll let him go. Not happening. I lean down, grabbing his hand. I pull the skull ring off his finger; I flip it over in the palm of my hand. I pull out a cigarette and light up. Blowing out a puff of smoke, I glance around. Spotting the gas can in the corner, I walk over and grab it.
“You like fires?” The cigarette hangs from my lips. I tilt the can, pouring gas over all the bodies that litter the floor.
“The best fires in hell are the ones we set for ourselves,” Mumbling the words, I keep pouring.
“You’re a sick fuck!” He screams like a bitch. I laugh. It’s a real laugh, too!
“A sick fuck? You don’t know what a sick fuck is! I’m the goddamn Devil! You are now my bitch in hell, forever!” Tossing the gas can to the floor; I blow out one last cloud of smoke before dropping the cigarette to the floor. The fire catches quickly. I turn and walk out to where the guys are waiting.
“Hey, Dragon... We got insurance on that shit, right?” Nodding over my shoulder to the shop, he looks at me strange.
“Yeah, why?” He asks. The fire erupts, screaming into the night.
“That’s why,” Chuckling, I walk over and stand next to Roc. His hand comes down on my shoulder.
“We’ll get the rest of them,” Dragon says. I don’t have to say anything; I know we will. If I have to hunt them to the end of the earth, I will. We stand in silence as the hollering from inside slowly fades. He’s dead–and I loved every fucking second of it. This is the part of myself that scares me. If I am going to be with Angel, how will I rein this in? She deserves a lot more than what I can give her, but letting her go isn’t going to be an option either. Thoughts roll around inside my head but I can’t stop them. Death, blood, fear. It consumes me. How the hell am I going to keep this at bay when I’m with her?
Chapter 17
“You ready?” Dragon stands next to me. Shrugging my shoulders, I don’t know if I am or not.
“Does it ever get better?” I ask. Dragon looks confused. Like my question doesn’t make sense.
“Does what get better?” He says. Glancing over at him, he has to understand.
“Any of this. The killin’, the urge. I feel like a goddamn addict, brother. I want this shit more than I want air.” Dragon takes a breath, knowing what I mean. He can see the look on my face.
“It’s a tough road, Devil. It’s all you’ve known. I believe we can all change for the better. You can do it for her. That need to finish what you started won’t leave, though. Not until it’s over.” Makes sense.
“And after that? How the fuck do I ward off this shit in the future?” Dragon shrugs, grabbing his helmet.
“You let her help you. You let her become the obsession. You let her know that you can’t fight this shit on your own.” Letting Angel inside of my head isn’t the best place for her. I don’t want her in there. It would rip her innocence apart if she knew what went on inside of me. I grab my helmet, sliding it over my head. The urge to run hasn’t been this strong in a long time. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I want to take shelter in a past that I never had. I want to run to the ends of the earth to hide from what I’ve become.
“You good?” Ghost calls over to me. I give him a nod but I can’t go back just yet.
“Meet you later,” I yell, Ghost nods before taking off behind the other guys. I go the opposite direction. I need to think. I need to make things ok, in my mind. I ride without a care in the world. The death that surrounds me is calming in a way. It soothes everything inside of me. Why though? Why is death calming? To a normal person, death is scary. To me? Death is beautiful. It’s the end game. It’s the last resort. It’s the way of life. I like being the deciding factor on whether someone lives or dies. I like being the one to take that life in my hands and roll it around. I like watching it fade from someone’s eyes like when the light of day, turns to night.
***
I sit with my legs bent, arms resting on my knees as I look at the place that made me. It almost makes me sad that it’s gone. It was all I knew. It’s what made me. He, made me.
He took what little bit of light I had and stripped it away. I was never a normal child. I was a liar. I lied my way through school with broken bones, cuts, scrapes. I was forced to tell lies to everyone around me. That part never stuck with me, though. I lost the lies over the years and became aware of what I was. I was the freak; I was the abnormal one. He did this to me. He made me this way. Could I have had a normal life like Angel had? Could I have grown up, and become something more than this? In reality I like to think I could have, but then there is this lust. The lust for blood. The lust for the kill.
Did he really instill all of that in me? Was I born with it? I look at the old broken door that hangs by its hinges. I remember so many times going through that door with a fear of what was behind it. What kind of mood would he be in, today? What would piss him off? Should I sneak in through the window? Some days, I’d walk in and go straight to my room, hoping to God that he didn’t follow me. It was all for nothing, though. He always came in there. Did you do your homework? Did you tell your teacher you fell? Did you leave your jacket on all day so they couldn’t see your arm? The same questions played on repeat every single day of my youth. I hid so much back then. I finally gave up. The day he came at me, I saw it in his eyes. I saw the rage. I saw the hatred. I knew the school called him. I knew he knew, that I had let on that he hit me.
His eyes flared with red fire. It was a new look for him. He’d always been evil but in that moment, he was like nothing I’d ever seen. He came at me with a small knife in his hand. He didn’t realize that, I too, was waiting with a knife of my own. He came at me full force. I knew it in that second that it was him, or me, and I would be damned if I died by that bastard’s hands. He came at me, I ducked. When he tripped forward, I slid in behind him. I wrapped my hand around the front of his throat.
The blade slid through his flesh, like it was nothing.
I don’t know how long I’ve been here. I didn’t check the time. Everything has flooded me being back here, though. It’s made me look at my life a little differently. I don’t think I can change, regardless of how much I feel for Angel. However, I wonder if I can rein it in for her. Maybe Dragon was right. Maybe I need to let her become my obsession. Maybe she can curb the beast, when he wants to be set free. I glance down at the blood covering my clothes. This is what I’ve become. I shove myself off the ground, walking back toward my bike.
A perfect world would have me settling down, and having a wife and family right now. Nothing in my life has been perfect until Angel came into it. All I can think about is making her happy and seeing her smile. That seems to be so important. It boggles me, as to how I feel that way since nothing in my life growing up was happy.
Seeing Angel sad or hurting though, that eats away some pieces of me. I never want to see that sad look on her face. I never want to know that I caused it. I throw my helmet on before sending Angel a quick text. I rev up the engine before pulling out. I need to get out of this neighborhood as fast as I can. With all the dread that surrounds this area, it pulls me down further. I don’t know why I let it affect me the way it does. My mind drifts as I ride. I used to be able to ride and let go, but that isn’t the case anymore. Everything seems to close-in on me. My drive is short. When I see, her standing at the end of that fence, I lose it. I pull to a stop, climbing off my bike. My eyes find hers like they always have. Her eyes drop to the front of my cut, the blood that’s now dried there.
Without another word, she runs, leaping into my arms.
Chapter 18
“Tell me this isn’t yours,” Angel whispers against my neck when I sigh. Always so worried about me.
“It isn’t mine.” I can feel her relax in my arms.
“Why didn’t you come inside?” She pulls back bu
t I just raise an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah. Are you sure you’re ok?” She asks again. I give her a slight nod, before shaking my head no.
“No, you know what. I’m not. I’m not, ok. I need to talk to you.” I set Angel on her feet. She takes a step back, eyeing me. I can see the fear, but that has nothing to do with this.
“Walk with me.” I grip her hand in mine and walk us toward the trees that line her parent’s property to give us a little privacy.
“I found the ones that took you. I’m sure that much is obvious.” Her fingers tighten around mine.
“I don’t know how to shut it off, Angel. I don’t know how to make the urge go away.” I have to be honest here. Angel stops walking before turning to face me. Her hands glide up to my cheeks, cupping them.
“Let me help you, Devil. Let me be there for you.” Her eyes beam into mine. I want to tell her yes, I really do.
“I don’t know if it’s that easy. I want to believe that it is, but I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt you.” Angel looks torn. She doesn’t know what to say to me. I wouldn’t know what to say either, if I was her. Angel swallows, hardening herself as she straightens her spine. I love the look in her eyes.
“We can handle it–no–we will handle it.” The way she holds so much power within her sets my mind at ease.
“Hurtin’ you, isn’t an option. I would rather take a bullet than see you hurt again.” The smile tugs at her lips. I watch the slight curl before she moves in closer.
“No bullets. I love you, Devil. I will do whatever I can for you.” My heart slams into my ribs like crazy.
“Angel, I can’t leave the club.” Angel’s eyes glisten with tears.
“I know. I’ve thought about that, too.”
“I won’t pressure you. I won’t push you into anything you don’t want.” Angel giggles softly before grabbing me around the waist.
“I know. I just need a little more time.” Nodding, I know none of this is easy for her.