by Erin Trejo
“There was only eleven, Dragon. I was on the front side of that shit.” And bad just got worse.
***
I called a meeting so I could let the guys know what was going on. I don’t know how one of those motherfuckers would have walked out of there.
Devil watches me intently when I say, “Wiley stopped by. Let us know that there was a missin’ body from our pile up.”
“How the fuck did that happen?” Ghost roars as he shoves out of the chair, running his hand through his hair.
“Fuck if I know. Deadman walkin’?” I say comically. Roc chuckles, but no one else does.
“Fuck this shit. How the fuck do we figure out who it was?” Ghost says, beyond pissed. How little they think of me.
“Wiley’s goin’ to get me some pictures of the assholes from the morgue. We’ll narrow it down from there. He isn’t too happy about our body count either,” I say that last part with a laugh.
Devil grumbles, “Fuck Wiley. He gets paid to fix that shit.” Devil agrees. How shocking.
“Yeah, he does. Ok, for now, though, we need to watch our asses. I don’t expect the motherfucker to show up at our front door wavin’ and shit. He’ll lay back for a while. Don’t matter he got away; he was shot,” I say, Roc grunts knowing what I mean.
He may have gotten out of there, but he sure as hell didn’t get out without a few bullets in his ass.
Ghost finally throws his two cents in saying, “We fuck it. Shit’s rollin’ good, we don’t need to dwell on that shit. Let’s do what we do, and when Wiley gets us some information we can use we roll with it.” That’s the first thing that has come out of Ghost's mouth that has made sense in a long time.
“Look at you. Glad you’re back, motherfucker.” Ghost laughs, knowing that he’s been off lately. I can’t blame him, though. He had a lot of shit hit him all at once.
I know this isn’t sitting well with him either. Those assholes were after his son and girlfriend.
Chapter 2
“Hey little man,” I say as I lift Jordan into my arms. Jordan is Nessa and Ghost’s little boy. Holding him fills me with a sense of peace. I love seeing the kids. I love having the kids around. They are indeed angels.
Jordan chews his fingers when Nessa runs into the lobby screaming, “Damn it he’s fast. I was giving Marissa a bath, and he ran.” Holding her daughter in her arms, I smile at her. She’s beautifully perfect with her kids.
“He ain’t goin’ nowhere. I put alarms on the doors and shit.” Nessa glances at me with a strange look on her face.
“What? I baby proofed the whole club,” I say with a shrug. It’s no big deal, but she laughs. I want these kids safe.
“You are the biggest baby of them all. Such a softie,” she tells me as I lean down, pressing a kiss to Marissa’s clean baby scented head before tickling Jordan.
“Nah. These kids deserve the best. Hey, do you think you can help me out with Thanksgivin’ shit?” Nessa looks at me strange which is nothing new.
“You’re serious?” She asks unsure of my intentions. Nodding, I set the wiggling Jordan on the floor and watch him walk around the room.
“You guys deserve it. We need somethin’ good around here. We’ve had so much shit lately. I want you girls to feel at home here, too.” Amber slides her hands around my waist before I even saw her coming.
“That’s because you’re amazing, Dragon,” Amber snickers. I pull her hands away and slowly slide her off me.
“And why are you in my conversation? Take a fuckin’ walk.” Amber huffs. She is the most disrespectful club whore I’ve ever seen in my life. In fact, now that most of the guys are with someone, I’m thinking about cutting them off also.
I watch her walk away; then she says, “Remember that when you want something!”
“I think it’s sweet, Dragon. Of course, I’ll help.”
***
I wander the halls watching everyone outside enjoying their time off. It does them good to have some free time and just be together with their family.
It makes my heart hurt, though. Being honest with myself, I miss Maggie. I miss what we had, and what we used to be.
The accident. Shit! That was my fault. Not really, but in my mind I blame myself. I shouldn’t have argued with her. I shouldn’t have pushed her to the point that I did. I regret it every day of my life. I press my hands against the glass window, watching the guys. Many years ago that was me. I was happy, smiling. I enjoyed my life.
The day my father was killed stole a piece of my innocence. I followed in his footsteps. I was what he wanted me to be. I did everything I could to make him proud of me. He was, too. I followed club rules. I did what was expected of me. I miss him. I miss the man that made me. The man that I should have been following to this day.
I miss my mom also. We grew apart after dad died. It was mainly my fault, though. She tried to be there for me; she tried to be a mother. I wouldn’t let her. She said that I was the miracle. I was the only thing that saved her. I don’t see it that way. I never did. I saw me as the one thing that pulled her away from her happiness with my father. She always said they’d die together, but I ruined that.
She left the club that night to come home and check on me. If it weren't for me, she would be happy now.
Now, she’s a mess of a woman. A mess that I was responsible for making.
“You look off,” Devil states the obvious.
“I’m fine,” I grumble. Devil watches me knowing I’m not ok.
I suppose it’s the holidays that always have me feeling off.
“Sorry, brother. My head’s just off. I’ll be alright,” I tell him not knowing if that’s true or not. Devil gives me a nod when the other guys filter out toward the bikes.
I throw on my helmet ready to get this run over with. I want to start getting this Thanksgiving shit in order. I think the girls will like it.
“Rev ‘em up, boys!” Roc hollers with a cigarette hanging between his lips.
“Someone’s overly happy to go sell some dope,” I say as Roc smiles at me. He pulls his cigarette from his lips and says, “It’s a goddamn good day to be alive, Dragon. Look at it. The Sunshine, no clouds. It’s a great fuckin’ day!” I haven’t seen Roc this happy in a long fucking time. To be honest, it’s a little scary.
“He must have got his dick sucked this mornin’.” Ghost chuckles, pulling his helmet on.
“Don’t you worry about my dick.” The two share a laugh, but I can’t get enough of this.
“We don’t need to know about any of your dicks. We ready to handle this drop?” I ask, looking around at all the guys, I have to say I’m damn proud of them.
“Hell yeah! This is a big drop. We need to have our heads straight once we get on those bikes. We might know who we’re deliverin’ to, but that means shit, and we all know it,” Ghost announces. Ghost has really kicked up his game after Nessa and the kids. It’s a relief, too.
There for a while, I thought he was losing his touch, but I’m happy to see that it’s back and in full effect.
“Ghost’s right. We know these fucks, but that doesn’t mean shit. We need to be clear-headed and keep our eye on everything.”
Chapter 3
The ride is nice. Being on my bike takes away the memories that threaten to eat me alive at night. The dreams are never-ending. The shadows that haunt the dark nights are overwhelming. It hurts, most of the time my heart hurts. Loss is something I’m close to. I know it all too well. More than even the guys know. Moving forward was always the goal, but some days, like today, I feel like I’m slipping.
We pull onto the dirt road; the guys are all around me. It’s a strange feeling, knowing this is your family. These guys come from all different walks of life. Most of them came from shitty upbringings. It pisses me off nonetheless. The family aspect was always there when I was growing up in the club. My family made sure we were safe, and that we each knew how much the other meant to them. I try to instill that in the guys. I want tha
t for them more than anything.
“Look at that shit,” I say shaking my head, as I climb off my bike. Looking over my shoulder, I watch the guys doing the same.
“What the hell is this?” Ghost says walking up next to me. I can feel the rage vibrating throughout his body. This wasn’t the plan.
“I don’t know, VP. This looks like some bullshit to me. We didn’t plan that shit,” I say, looking at the number of people that stand in front of us. This was far from our plan.
There are at least twenty guys to our five. We’ve never had a problem with these guys before, so I don’t understand the need for the extras.
“What do you wanna do here, Prez?” Roc slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“You strapped up?” I ask Roc. With a slight grin, I glance over my shoulder. The smile on Roc’s face spreads.
“Damn right, I am.”
We cautiously make our way toward the small crowd that has gathered in front of us. The easy meet has now turned into something more.
“What’s with the security team, Marcus? Afraid of somethin’?” I question as I step up in front of the leader of the Street Demons. I cross my arms over my chest as I glare at him.
Street Demons are an illegal gang that runs a lot of the territory up north of us. We supply them with a lot of their needs.
Cracking my neck from side to side, I watch him.
“We heard a few things, Dragon. Thought we might discuss them with you while you’re here.” I wonder what they heard.
Marcus is a little bitch if you ask me. I never did like the kid. I did like his dad, though, and that’s the only reason I do business with his sorry ass.
“You use our drop for your meetin’, huh? Couldn’t make a phone call?”
“There was some killings not so long ago. Heard it was yours.” What the hell is he getting at? None of those assholes had anything to do with him or his crew.
“And? Since when is the shit I handle any of your concern?” Feeling my muscles twitch, I know I need to stay calm. I’ll rip this little fucker in half.
“Since the one you didn’t kill came to me,” he replies. I can hear the guys behind me. The words leaving their mouths would make a sailor blush.
“What the fuck did he want?” I ask angrily. Anger courses through my veins. I never expected the idiot to run to SD’s, but I guess we’re all full of surprises these days.
“Protection,” he says in a matter of fact tone. My arms fall to my sides. My fingers twitch, ready to pull my gun at a moment’s notice.
Marcus laughs before I say, “And did you offer that shit up?”
“Do I look that stupid to you?”
***
He couldn’t have just asked me that. He want an honest answer?
“You sure you want me to answer that question, considerin’ you have at least fifteen extra people?” I ask as Marcus takes a step forward, the vein in his neck pulsing.
“That was for protection. I didn’t know where your head would be at, Dragon. I didn’t need a blood bath here.” Fuck the rest of this shit. I want answers. I want to know who the fucker was that got away, so I ask, “Who was it?”
“So, eager. You think I’d just give it up like that?” That’s it. He’s pushing my buttons, and today is not the day. My hand reaches around, grabbing my gun before pointing at Marcus’ head. The rest of the guys follow suit, as do Marcus’ guys.
“You listen to me closely you little fuck! I worked close with your dad. He was a good man. You on the other hand—I don’t give two shits about you. You want my goddamn product; I want that motherfucker's name.” The growl that rips through me is almost scary.
The look in his eyes tells me all I need to know.
“I didn’t get a full name. Anderson is his last name, that’s all I know.” He grumbles not at all happy that this is how it’s going down. Now we’re getting somewhere.
Lowering my gun, I glance over at Ghost as the guys do the same.
“Where is he?” I ask once more. Marcus shakes his head before I slam the handle of my gun into his cheek.
His guys move forward, so do mine.
Bending down I grab Marcus by the throat.
“Where... the fuck... is he... Marcus!” Screaming in his face, he shudders.
“I don’t know! I told him no, he took off!”
I stand back up when I release Marcus. I run my hand through my hair before I say, “Your goddamn price went up.” Marcus drags himself off the ground, wiping the blood from his face.
“What the fuck, Dragon?” He questions me. He has some nerve. My eyes narrow in on him.
“You fuck me over; you bring in people to try and throw me off balance!” Screaming in his face, I want blood. I want to snap his neck but I won’t.
He has information that he isn’t giving me.
“You find that asshole. You find him, and you call me.” Gripping his neck once more, his eyes widen.
“Call off your little fucks, or I’ll kill every one of them.” Marcus nods, flipping his hand in the air, the guns slowly lower.
“I’ll find him,” Marcus grumbles under the pressure I have on his throat. I take a step away from him. My world spins, my head pounds.
“Give him his shit,” I tell Ghost before heading toward my bike. I’m in no mood for any more of this shit.
He had the motherfucker here, but how did he know to come to him. How did he know to use Marcus? I slide my helmet back on and straddle my bike. I’m pissed at myself for the way I just acted, but in my mind, I feel like Marcus knows something more than he’s saying. I lean back, crossing my arms over my chest as I watch the guys make the deal. Something’s off with this whole thing. I don’t fucking like it, and I won’t until I know exactly what the hell is going on.
“You ok?” Trick walks over, eyeing me.
“No. Let’s fuckin’ get out of here.”
Chapter 4
“Are you sure about this shit?” Picking through the shit that the girls are throwing in the cart, I don’t know if this was such a good idea.
“Yes, Dragon. You asked for help! Everything in there is needed.” Aria smirks at me. Shaking my head, I follow behind them through the store.
“This was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” I mumble under my breath. Nessa spins around; her look is making me laugh.
“Remember who asked for this.” Sticking her tongue out, she walks off.
“I don’t think she likes you all that much.” I glance over to see Wiley standing behind me. This isn’t what I wanted to be dealing with today. I start to walk away when I say, “She has a pussy, she loves me.”
“Somehow I doubt that. We need to talk.” Fuck! I don’t want to deal with him today. Looking around to make sure that no one is around, I back him into the shelf behind him.
I growl when I grab his throat saying, “We do. Not here, not now. What I need to know is why the fuck your missin’ dead guy is goin’ to the Street Demons for security!” Wiley’s eyes slightly widen.
“What are you talking about?” Wiley seems surprised by this.
“Demons? Why would he go to them?” Hearing the girls talking, I know they’re coming back. I take a step back from Wiley before they round the corner.
“You tell me. Find that motherfucker.” I grunt when Nessa tosses some more stuff into the cart.
“Hey, Wiley.” I give him a glare before he smiles at her.
“You look good, Nessa. How're the kids?” Good boy, he better play nicely in front of the girls.
“Their good! Jordan’s wild as ever.” Wiley smiles, nodding before Nessa walks off again.
“Find out what the hell is goin’ on, Wiley, or I will.”
***
As we stand in line paying for all the shit the girls have thrown in the cart; I watch the little girl in front of me crying for candy. Her mom told her no, but she cries anyway. Pieces of me melt inside. I watch them walk outside before tossing the candy onto the counter and pay. I don’t know why
it’s bothering me the way it is, but that emptiness is there. The girl's push the cart out to the truck. Walking over toward the car I saw her walk to I say, “Hey! I got this for her.” The woman looks up at me as she tries to climb into her car. Her eyes widen as she takes in my cut and my tattoos.
“No thank you.” Closing her door quickly, I step back.
My insides tremble when I actually think about it. It must have been a sight to see. That’s the typically greeting we get from outsiders, though.
“She’s a bitch.” Aria’s hand lands on my arm.
“She was scared of me. It’s not the first time.” Heading back toward the truck I start to wonder what people must think of us. Just because we do some questionable shit doesn’t mean we’re bad people on the inside. I climb in the truck when Aria climbs in the front seat staring at me. I glance over and say, “Say whatever it is you’re thinkin’ and stop lookin’ at me like that.” Aria laughs along with the other girls. It’s almost refreshing to hear them.
“I don’t understand how you don’t have a wife and kids, Dragon. You’re so good with them.” My chest tightens. My heart hurts.
“I did. I had all that once.”
I didn’t let them question me any further. In fact, I was a bit of an asshole to them when they tried.
We brought all the bags in. The girl's put it away while I pour myself a drink. Vodka seems like the best choice to drown out anything else that might have filtered its way back into my head.
“Heard you lost your shit a little,” Ghost says as he walks over, grabbing the bottle from my hand. I watch as he takes it down before passing me a beer.
“Somethin’ like that.” I know I should apologize. I know I should go in there, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Ghost grabs a beer for himself before he says, “We can talk about it, Dragon. I’m here, brother.”
“I thought doin’ this for them, for all of you would help, Ghost. I thought I could make that shit go away but I can’t. It fuckin’ haunts me every day.” I find myself breaking down. I don’t break down. I’m the strong one. I’m the one that keeps it all together.